How close is your IRL attitude to your KF's? - How much do you tone it down in real life?

[rel=alternate]

I got into a discussion today with a former employee, with whom things did not go well, who literally told me that I was treating him like a dog to a point where he was afraid to talk to me. Kind of made me think.

Looking back, I can kind of see it. Even though I never meant to hurt him as a person, I hated him as an employee, and I was pretty cruel in some ways. The more he fucked up, the harder I came on him and the harder he fucked up. To me it felt like there was nothing I could do to improve the situation but get rid of him, for him it felt like he lacked support and could not tell me things. Faults on both sides if I am being honest, but anyway.

If we take apart the obvious no-no things, I basically talk and behave the same in my professional and personal life as I do here. Some people have considered me to be a bully. I can also be extremely nice, but the moment someone loses my respect I almost stop to think of them as an individual. They just become an inconvenience.

I am not trying to say this is a good thing or anything. I am just curious to know how others are IRL vs how they are online, and if either affect their behavior in the other sphere.

 

[Slur Generator]

I'm about 90% the same offline. I just dull the edge of my opinions because its not worth getting into conflicts constantly but i never pretend i believe anything else. If someone straight up asks me what i think i will honestly tell them. I really don't understand people that pretend to be someone else online. This is where you can be 100% truthful with 0 consequences. at worst you just delete your account and you can start from scratch. As long as you don't link you account to IRL stuff.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

I have given this question lengthy deliberation. The only noticeable difference is my tendency in real life to describe a broader spectrum of objects as 'cunts'. On the Farms, I am mindful of being a guest in another man's house, and so moderate my language accordingly, and behave with the honour and decorum that have become the hallmarks of my Internet persona.

In the real world, I will often wear a hat to avoid being recognised by people who know me from online. If you ever chance upon an individual wearing a hat, and observe them describing a greater than average number of objects as 'cunts', then I kindly ask that you do not out me as a member of this site.

 

[AFAB]

Mostly the same IRL and on KF, except I swear way more in person, and I usually keep my opinions and politics to myself unless I think I'm talking to those that I trust the most. It amounts to basically one or two individuals on this site and in real life.

 

[Anonitolia]

I'm apparently a rude asshole both on and offline but I'm not nearly as anxious online so I come off completely differently.

I also tend to get a bit more heated online due to it being harder to differentiate intent (and my habit of assuming the worst at all times), so I go off on very lengthy and impassioned rambles on useless bullshit without much pause because I don't have to yell to do it and I can be way way more direct with my meaning instead of tripping over anxious filler words in a vain attempt to make sense. I tend to play that up as a sort of "character" to further separate my online and offline personalities, but I think with how the internet nowadays it's probably not easy to tell haha.

I promise I'm not actually completely acidic and vile as a person, I'm way too much of a softie for that.

Funny how everyone's talking about how they swear way more irl than they do on here. I just swear like a sailor in both contexts. "Fuck" is my preferred adjective at most times.

 

[NOT Satoshi Nakamoto]

People call me "diplomatic"

 

[Sugriva]

Not much different. As I grow older, I get more and more tired of trying to hide my true feelings. I don't really care what people think about me any more. If somebody says something retarded, I won't hesitate to call them out on it.

 

[Soggy paper straw]

My type of jokes is the same, just adapted to the audience. i always adapt jokes; I would not make the same jokes around my family as my friends.

The key aspect of my attitude that is the same here and irl is that I try to not waste people's time (e.g. do my own research first, see if I can find the answers). I respect the rules of the place and try to contribute positively
I'm an amazing, great, perfect person My only fault is that I'm too perfect

I hated him as an employee, and I was pretty cruel in some ways.

I don't think this is a fair way to treat an employee. If he doesn't ask for help, that is a major failure for him. However employees generally have a period to learn the role for a reason; everyone can be very dumb at first. The key is that they learn.
If there is no learning, feeling frustrated is natural, still being an asshole to a coworker/employee should not be the response. If they are a terrible employee they should be let go; being an asshole should not be the solution.
Rather, being frank with them, explaining what they are doing wrong and understanding why they are making the mistakes they do is what could lead to an improvement.

I think being professional is really important. You are not friends, nor enemies. If they say something extremely dumb, you can stop respecting them on a personal level, laugh behind their backs etc (with your non-work friends/family, if it needs to clarified).. That should not influence how you treat them in a professional capacity.

 

[Gravemind]

Here's a good example of someone who lies constantly and thinks slurs are somehow a substitute for manliness. I'd bet he's the biggest pushover in real life and uses the website as a substitute for his lack of real courage. He also keeps using the words "mommy" and "daddy" and hangs out with people like Gravemind who, as you can see above, is a wallflower.

Lying is a female trait, men tell the truth.
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I don't think I've ever been described as a "wallflower" before.

I'm absolutely certain you're the life of any party though. People definitely love to socialize with a schizophrenic, musty retard who may start a fight if you look at him the wrong way.

 

[Pee Cola]

Some of my views that I feel comfortable sharing on the Farms yet far less comfortable of sharing IRL are startint to leak out. It's only tacitly and only to whose who I know or strongly suspect share a similar opinions so I feel I'm safe for now.

Claiming to be "woke in the streets, chud in the sheets" is trite and simplistic, yet it's the easiest way to describe my outlook.

 

[God's drunkest driver]

While I am very disagreeable at my core I'm known by all as a nice and generally well liked person IRL, if a bit quiet. Especially to my family and children. I hide my powerlevel almost 100% and do my best to suppress my aspergers and read people, but in the absence of being able to read someone I'm just nice. I've tried to base my personality on people like Mr Rogers, Bob Ross, There are 3 people in my life who know the extent of my buried misanthropy, aspergers and racism. I let my bad attitude out online and can genuinely assure all of you that you'd not even the slightest idea you'd met me IRL. That's not to say I am a doormat, I am known to put my foot down and not budge on things I judge to be moral or correct, but I am as nice about it as possible. It is the single most impactful thing in my success that I am known to be nice.

I think I'm worse IRL. Here I can just stop reading if someone pisses me off or if subject of the conversation is not interesting. It's not so easy if it's happening in the same physical space.

Interesting. I use the internet as an outlet for innate nature; disagreeable, argumentative, mean, hateful.

 

[rel=alternate]

I don't think this is a fair way to treat an employee. If he doesn't ask for help, that is a major failure for him. However employees generally have a period to learn the role for a reason; everyone can be very dumb at first. The key is that they learn.
If there is no learning, feeling frustrated is natural, still being an asshole to a coworker/employee should not be the response. If they are a terrible employee they should be let go; being an asshole should not be the solution.
Rather, being frank with them, explaining what they are doing wrong and understanding why they are making the mistakes they do is what could lead to an improvement.

I think being professional is really important. You are not friends, nor enemies. If they say something extremely dumb, you can stop respecting them on a personal level, laugh behind their backs etc (with your non-work friends/family, if it needs to clarified).. That should not influence how you treat them in a professional capacity.

I agree, it was unfair to him, and a lot of it was my fault looking back. Hiring him in the first place being my biggest mistake.

I hired him because I really needed someone fast. Although not complex, he did not know the job and was a very slow learner, would fuck up way too much, and would also ask others to do his job, or take initiatives I did not need anytime I turned my back. Add to that many little things, like not saying if a piece of equipment should be replaced, because he is fine with it, even if it hurts the output.

I think I did not anticipate the frustration it would bring me, and I should have just let him go.

To clarify, it really depends on what you mean by unprofessional, but I never crossed any hard lines. I guess most of it came down to how little patience I had for him and the way it would manifest in our interactions. It was not like screaming matches, just some very brutal and factual remarks on the many fuck ups, as well as constantly asking if various things were done in front of the others, checking immediately if they were and pointing out mistakes in front of others etc... I guess that at some point, I was probably even holding him at a higher quality standard than the others, because he could not be trusted. The worst part was that he meant well.

It was most definitely not the way a good professional should deal with employees, but I don't know if it truly qualifies as unprofessional.