How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Just dandy.
My appointment at the psych ward resulted in nothing. I'm not mentally ill enough for alternative treatments like magnet therapy according to my Hamilton score but I'm too ill to partake in the alternatives at other psych ward-related facilities in the city because of my fucking AVPD.
"Are you or have you been suicidal in the last three days?" no, not until I talked to you, psych nurse who is supposed to give me the help I need or refer me to somewhere else.

At least the weather matches my mood, it looks like it could start pouring rain any minute. I don't want to walk the dog, nor do I want to go shopping for ingredients for dinner but I'm also not in the mood to eat anything resembling a solid, healthy meal after this.

Fuck me, man.
 
stick said:
I'm so tired. I get a decent amount of sleep, but I never feel rested. Unsure if the depression is just that bad or if I'm vitamin deficient or something. My limbs are heavy. Sometimes I can't even emote or add to conversations because moving my face is too much effort.
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one of the simplest things to start with for this issue is your sleeping environment. is there a single scrap of garbage anywhere? are all your clothes put away? when was the last time you washed your bedding? when was the last time you washed your pillow? when is the last time that you got a new mattress? when was the last time you cleaned your curtains/blinds, window frame, window panes, window casings? when was the last time you mopped or vacuumed? if you have carpet, when was the last time you cleaned it with one of those carpet cleaning machines? when was the last time you washed your walls and ceiling? cleaned picture frames? cleaned light fixtures and fans? humidifiers or dehumidifiers?

do you have anything that's foam, fabric, or paper sitting out that you've had for a long time and never washed? stuffed animals? rugs? wall hangings? books? try bagging them up temporarily and see if it helps. same goes for if you have any old junk that you bought at a flea market or garage sale or charity store like Goodwill

do you have popcorn ceilings? popcorn ceiling material is extremely porous and will have soaked up anything nasty as long as it's been around

there could be plenty of other things going on that you want to get checked out but it doesn't hurt to do a bunch of cleaning first
 
I fucking despise college, I'm 3000+ dollars deep at this point and I'm not learning shit, it's literally just memorizing useless information for quizzes, I learned more about technology from modding fucking Nintendo consoles than I am from this college course. If I actually did somehow get a job in IT (which at this point I don't want) I would be screwed because I didn't actually learn anything!!!
 
Otterly said:
May I ask how you are doing this? I am aware of the usual ‘every other day, with vitamin c, away from dairy’
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So I’m doing the things you listed but I’m unable to take my prescription for now as my area is straight up out of it so my pharmacy has still not filled it. I guess other people area having ferritin issues (weird right)

So after some research I’ve been using an over the counter called “Thorne Iron Bisglycinate” specifically Thorne brand. Somehow it doesn’t kill your stomach, and absorbs better even if you have gastro issues.

I’ve been having it on an empty stomach every other morning with a can of V8. Even though V8 it has a tiny bit of calcium, it’s not enough to mess with it. It has a bunch of vitamin c AND vitamin k (which you also need to properly absorb it)
I wait an hour or two before eating anything.

So far it’s been miraculous. I feel immensely better, except for my stupid PMS anxiety flares (that are much better but even if my general anxiety is down 95% any anxiety sucks)

I hope any of that information helps!

stick said:
I'm so tired. I get a decent amount of sleep, but I never feel rested
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Get your ferritin checked! It’s not a normie iron test it’s separate from that
 
Otterly said:
What’s that?
I will try the bisglycinate form - thank you.
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I really, really hope it works for you. Low ferritin is Hell, and as I climb out of it's pit I'm looking back like 'HOW DID I LIVE LIKE THAT.'
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Canned vegetable juice! Salty as fuck, but I have borderline hypotension, so I need all the salt I can get (another thing that's probably due to the low ferritin)

I'm in the states where it's abundant but you're in the UK, right? Looks like you have to go to 'specialty American' stores for it BUT there's something called "Veg It" that's similar
 
Otterly said:
Noted. Thank you. I’ll find something,
Why can’t we invent a nutrient paste/pill you can just take daily and that’s you sorted..?
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I agree and have actually yearned for a health-paste as all vitamin supplements make me sick. Except this Thorne stuff!

I became envious of this peanut paste given to starving, diseased African children because it was chalk full of nutrients and designed to be gentle on the stomach while curing all deficiency

It’s called “Plumpy’Nut”
 
Getmeout said:
Then again someone may assume you're a pervert.
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The only reason someone would assume you're pervert for having a Vaporeon plushie is if they themselves are a pervert.
stick said:
I'm so tired. I get a decent amount of sleep, but I never feel rested. Unsure if the depression is just that bad or if I'm vitamin deficient or something. My limbs are heavy. Sometimes I can't even emote or add to conversations because moving my face is too much effort.
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For me coffee, cardio and meat seem to solve this issue. Even if I wake up sore, after the daily 30 min cardio sesh I feel revitalized. Mind you I'm still depressed as I've ever been, but I seem to have plenty of energy and I'm able to get things done so I guess it's alright.
Definitely agree with GunCar Gary too, having a clean environment helps.
 
Otterly said:
Peanuts though, yuck. I envy the cats; their chow is nutritionally complete and they seem to enjoy it.
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I never thought about how our pets better nutrition than we do! Wtf!
Getmeout said:
Then again someone may assume you're a pervert.
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My kiwi in Christ you are too chronically online to worry about that shit. I don’t even like Pokemon anymore, but you should be able to get a big ass Vaporeon plushie without shame.

The only people who should have shame are the PurpleKecleon types who genuinely think cute critters are sexually appealing.

Speaking of, I got a giant sleeping pink Yoshi plush recently. Granted, it was for my kid but I’m loving the aesthetic so much. I want all the colors but I have to resist... until I get my next paycheck. Spoiling my kid with shit I want is a nice excuse loophole to justify my bad spending habits lol
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PetiteFeet said:
Just dandy.
My appointment at the psych ward resulted in nothing. I'm not mentally ill enough for alternative treatments like magnet therapy according to my Hamilton score but I'm too ill to partake in the alternatives at other psych ward-related facilities in the city because of my fucking AVPD.
"Are you or have you been suicidal in the last three days?" no, not until I talked to you, psych nurse who is supposed to give me the help I need or refer me to somewhere else.

At least the weather matches my mood, it looks like it could start pouring rain any minute. I don't want to walk the dog, nor do I want to go shopping for ingredients for dinner but I'm also not in the mood to eat anything resembling a solid, healthy meal after this.

Fuck me, man.
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Dear farmer,

Psych wards are the worst place to get helped. IOP, PHP, outpatient, literally anything else. Please do not go to one. SMR (simple mortality rates) AND suicide specific death rates for people in psych wards goes up. It is very well studied. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28564699/

"But what if they were suicidal first?" That was checked. Adjusted for. It makes it worse yet. Not suicidal? You are now. Suicidal? Worse.

I could spam this thread up with literally dozens of publications from Psychiatry itself here. Get help, speak up, but be VERY careful about saying the magic words. All psych wards do is make you play-sane to get out, and now you've got that shit rattling in your head too.
 
Sneed's Feed n Seed said:
Dear farmer,

Psych wards are the worst place to get helped. IOP, PHP, outpatient, literally anything else. Please do not go to one. SMR (simple mortality rates) AND suicide specific death rates for people in psych wards goes up. It is very well studied. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28564699/

"But what if they were suicidal first?" That was checked. Adjusted for. It makes it worse yet. Not suicidal? You are now. Suicidal? Worse.

I could spam this thread up with literally dozens of publications from Psychiatry itself here. Get help, speak up, but be VERY careful about saying the magic words. All psych wards do is make you play-sane to get out, and now you've got that shit rattling in your head too.
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As someone who's been to a psych ward, I gotta contest, sorry.

Most psych wards are separated into floors, depending on how severe the issue is. Simply saying you're suicidal will get you put in the suicidal floor, with all the other sad teens. That floor's pretty tame, when I was there the most annoying part was this really autistic guy that kept trying to be best friends with everyone.

If you're worse than that, you get put on the coocoo floor, and most of the time you do indeed belong there. I was at a very very VERY low star one and my experience on the coocoo floor was still fine. Definitely not the best, but again, I was at a "bad" psych ward. The food was shockingly good too.

At most I would suggest checking the meds they give you after you leave, one med they assigned me was garbage. Got it changed quick.

It is a lot of money so only go through with it if you're actually crazy, if you're just depressed then the money to help ratio just isn't worth it. There's plenty of studies saying shit like ohhh you'll wanna kill yourself ohhhh it'll make you worse, but you have to remember they are interviewing the insane and expecting a coherent response. 90% of the time when I met someone who went to a psych ward and they said they got suicidal from it, their reasoning was "The nurses deadnamed me :(". The other 10% was "The nurses misgendered me :(".

I was improved from my psych ward visit, not only cause I got help but also it was AMAZING to know people like me ARE out there. But I am crazy, like coocoo crazy, so if you're not coocoo crazy it's not worth it really. Very expensive.
 
Sneed's Feed n Seed said:
Dear farmer,

Psych wards are the worst place to get helped. IOP, PHP, outpatient, literally anything else. Please do not go to one. SMR (simple mortality rates) AND suicide specific death rates for people in psych wards goes up. It is very well studied. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28564699/

"But what if they were suicidal first?" That was checked. Adjusted for. It makes it worse yet. Not suicidal? You are now. Suicidal? Worse.

I could spam this thread up with literally dozens of publications from Psychiatry itself here. Get help, speak up, but be VERY careful about saying the magic words. All psych wards do is make you play-sane to get out, and now you've got that shit rattling in your head too.
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Thanks, but I'm not institutionalised or anything like that. It's closer to outpatient than anything. The way hospitals work here is they've bundled up every little arm or branch that belongs under psychiatry in the same building.
I've never been sectioned and it'll be the last thing I will be, they clearly don't take me seriously.
 
PetiteFeet said:
Thanks, but I'm not institutionalised or anything like that. It's closer to outpatient than anything. The way hospitals work here is they've bundled up every little arm or branch that belongs under psychiatry in the same building.
I've never been sectioned and it'll be the last thing I will be, they clearly don't take me seriously.
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How would you feel if you were given responsibilities you were capable of, that didn’t overwhelm too much, but pushed you a bit, but you absolutely 100% couldn’t shirk?
I ask because your dog seems like a positive thing for you - she’s something you overcome your issues to care for, isn’t she? You get up and walk her, you clearly care for her even though the things you do you might ittwise struggle with (like you might not get up, dressed and out but you go it for the dog.)
Is there another, small responsibility like that you could have that would kind of stack (does that make sense?)
You can talk and talk in therapy but just from my perspective (and I don’t know you at all so maybe I’m way off, in which case forgive my presumption) your dog has done more good for you than meds and therapy? By which of course I don’t mean quit drugs and therapy I’m just noting that maybe another thing like that might help.
 
On ine hand I had to be saved at the gym today to keep myself from killing myself via bench press
On the other I did a full 5 reps of 135 without needing to inch my way up
 
a-Lager said:
On ine hand I had to be saved at the gym today to keep myself from killing myself via bench press
On the other I did a full 5 reps of 135 without needing to inch my way up
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Safety bars are great for benching. I've only ever been a home gym enjoyer and I probably would've necked myself a few times without them :lol:
Edit: would've been very sad not even having a bro to add an extra pl8 or two to my bar after finding my corpse :(
 
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