How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I know right! Usually I'll use that with said protein powder (chocolate tastes better), a scoop or two of the powdered peanut butter (it makes cleaning my blender so much easier than regular pb) and a banana. Occasionally some oats for fiber.
I've never had protein powder before but my family uses this one that smells like birthday cake. I think it's vanilla flavor. I like sniffing it. :)

Your shake sounds kinda like the smoothie version of that one sandwich, forgot what it's called, the one with the bananas and the peanut butter. I think it's called the Elvis sandwich? For some reason.
 
BUT I am always late so I guess I could look at him when I enter class instead of looking at the floor because I'm embarrassed about being late.
Absolutely! Also, him aside, not shrinking and looking at the floor even when possibly embarrassed is a good thing to practice.

(Also, you might want to consider moving forward in classes and putting away the phone in general.

I feel like everyone else is always with their friend group and doing fun social stuff though. I feel like the only loner even though I know there's more people like me. This is in part due to me being shy but also because I'm taking random classes so in every class it's just completely diff people in diff degrees (that's why I only see him 1x week).
This is NO criticism of you, but I think that it's super- common to plug in one's own worries to what (one thinks) other people are thinking. And not only do other people not need you thinking for them, but also only you suffer by letting those expectations keep you inhibited or isolated.

It's hard being kind of a loner - sometimes we all need a little confirmation or a check on what we're doing or how we're thinking. So yeah, finding some connection might be good (whether with a boy of choice* or in general).

*and when it comes to boys, never let one become your whole world, no matter what.

and I know I should've
No longer relevant - let that go. 🙂

My grandmother used to make such a good three cheese baked Mac and Cheese
My mother makes one - I really need to give it a try.

I know right! Usually I'll use that with said protein powder (chocolate tastes better), a scoop or two of the powdered peanut butter (it makes cleaning my blender so much easier than regular pb) and a banana. Occasionally some oats for fiber.
Does it get rid of the almond taste? I adore milk, a cup of two a day. But I've been wondering if I should try almond or oat.

I also do a mix of choc (or raw cacao) and vanilla superfood protein powder + collagen + chia seeds + sometimes wheat grass or bee pollen. Filling and delicious (though chia seeds like crevices between teeth, fyi, so bring floss or a brush).

Your shake sounds kinda like the smoothie version of that one sandwich, forgot what it's called, the one with the bananas and the peanut butter. I think it's called the Elvis sandwich? For some reason.
Most people just call it a peanut butter & banana sandwich. 🙂 (the "Elvis" is usually pb, banana, and bacon 🤢) And my younger self is telling you that putting potato chips on it is awesome.
 
Feeling really suicidal right now. Not because of anything in my life but because we only have 514/600 donations needed to make the Kiwi Farms financially solvent... I see so many people on this site without gold T&H, or T&H at all... *sigh* This world truly is cruel...
 
Does it get rid of the almond taste? I adore milk, a cup of two a day. But I've been wondering if I should try almond or oat.
I do find that it does get rid of that almond-y taste (though the banana helps with that too).

I tried oat milk and wasnt a fan. I really only like almond milk as a nondairy milk alternative.
 
I'm lactose intolerant but I hate almond milk. Quinoa is great stuff to gain protein.
 
Last edited:
I'm told this is the powerlevel thread and people seem to be talking about work some, so here we go.

What do you think is most important in a job? Time flexibility, or money? I ask this both in general terms, and for my more specific case.

I've been at my current job for a long time. Many years, which is unusual in my field. I've gotten it to the point where I hardly have to show up at all and somehow people are still convinced I'm working hard. I pretty much set my own schedule and work on what I want, within reason. The people I work with are mostly alright. I'm not the only one who's been here for a lot of years. The pay is decent in terms of local scale, but frankly quite low for my level of skill and experience.

However, I have a sense from certain corporate rumblings that there may be some consolidations coming down the pipe within the next year or so, and I've started looking for work again, just to have a plan B. A recruiter hooked me up with a place that seems like a good fit in terms of skills. The work is similar to what I'm doing now, and I would be making almost double the money. But it's been described by the gentleman I've been talking to as a very intense environment, with 60 hour weeks not being uncommon. If that's true, then per hour I'd probably be about breaking even. Plus there's very little I want in life. Other than maybe finally getting a house, I really don't know what I'd do with more money. (Yes, I will give some of it to Nool.)

I am not an ambitious man. I just want to make enough to not have to worry about money, and have a job where nobody is looking over my shoulder and I can shitpost on company time. I have crippling autism and I'm terrified of change. I know that if I do this I can't really go back. My current position is a historical anomaly just from me having worked here for so long, and if the new job sucks I don't think I could replicate this one. Still, I'm wondering if it's time to move on and get while the getting is good, especially with the economy and general hiring being as shitty as it is.

But even 40 hours a week is existentially terrifying to me, even if I like the work. I really can't believe we live in a world where people spend so much of their lives working. I'm not saying people shouldn't have jobs. They should if they can. I just wish the attitude of "as long as you get your work done we don't give a shit" was more common rather than being chained to a desk for a hard set amount of time and trying to look busy. I don't understand how we're not at a 30 hour work week after so much rise in individual productivity over the past few decades.


Alternatively, I just need to stop being a baby about what billions of people do every day.

I'm borderline losing my shit over this, is how I'm doing. My decision will not be solely based on the opinions of a New Zealand based agricultural forum, but I need an outside perspective.
 
I'm borderline losing my shit over this, is how I'm doing. My decision will not be solely based on the opinions of a New Zealand based agricultural forum, but I need an outside perspective.
If someone is telling you it's 60 hours / week, and you're set on 20-30 (or in any event < 40), then that's not a place for you.

But a step back: you want a house. How valuable is it to you to get the cash to get one? Is it worth a crunch for awhile to get it? (If so, know that you'd need an exit plan after goal achieved if you don't want to continue the intensity.)

Idk what size companies you're in or looking for, but in my world (big co) expectations and documentation are zooming up. There are people at my current place who have been enjoying flexibility and and less work than a full 40 for ages, and though some may survive for various reasons*, many will be let go and their work absorbed or reallocated to others. My company may be atypical, but they're big enough they're a harbinger in certain ways.

* I don't think the survivors will necessarily be the best ones.

Tl; dr: don't go somewhere you know from the jump is a bad match. But on the other hand, if you want to go for a short time for the money and have 0 interest in longevity there, then maybe being a mercenary for a year or two would be worth it. And depending on where you go, if you're truly a gifted producer, maybe you can thrive anywhere as an exception.
 
>be me
>work at one of the many locations of a recognizable customer-facing establishment
>find out in December we're among the first 70 locations that will be getting a brand new operating system
>pretty gay, I like my system
>go through basic ass module training, whatever
>get told that there will be a 24/7 helpline specifically for us, wonderful
>rollout was Wednesday
>the shit is held together with wet scotch tape and clearly made by jeets
>very slow, takes forever to populate, requires about 13 clicks to scratch your own ass, likes to dump you into weird spots on the page when you exit out of smaller pop-up windows
>none of our "accessory" devices reliably work with this system, you know like credit card terminals and other vital shit that makes the business run
>credit card terminals shit the bed for real tonight
>restart everything because that works sometimes
>nope
>"hey how do we reach that 24/7 helpline again?"
>"if you have difficulty just open a support ticket lolz"
>open ze support ticket like a good goy
>a name so Indian it honestly sounds made up responds four times to tell me my ticket has been received, acknowledged, escalated, and is now "on hold"
>even if they actually call me back I'll be talking to a jeet I likely won't understand

If I ever come into a financial windfall, I will use it to bankroll a movie where jeets and the out of touch corporate stooges that outsource to them while half-assing support are cut in half with chainsaws, have giant boulders dropped on their heads, are castrated alive, skinned alive, burned alive, fed through wood chippers feet first, are frozen solid and then obliterated with a sledgehammer, and whatever else you can think of. There won't even be a plot, it will just be 90 minutes of that.
>hey Plap, it's been almost a month, how are things going now?
Everyone involved in the creation and design of this third-world HIV virus should be blown apart at point-blank range with a SPAS-12 until absolutely nothing remains but clothing tatters and some trace amounts of pulp.

The only positive thing I can say is the credit card terminals work now, of course the Shekelstein-in-chief wouldn't let that issue linger for too long.
 
I'm writing more chapters more than usual. For a group thing and the deadline is in April. It's a lot of work but at least I'm diving into my character more.
 
I've been talking to as a very intense environment, with 60 hour weeks not being uncommon.
Just remember that if 60-hour weeks are not uncommon, then 70+ is also going to happen. Depending on your industry, expect multiple all-nighters and Sunday being a regular workday. I am speaking from experience.

Could you even survive a 70-hour work week with your brand of autism?
 
Why must we have wisdom teeth? I put off getting them taken out so now they're all poking through my gums. Not the biggest issue since they're not going to move any more, but they're a pain in the ass the keep clean. If I don't use my Waterpik every day, food gets stuck in it and can even get infected, which I think is what's happening again. I did get a referral from my dentist for an oral surgeon last year but he ended up being a complete dick. Went back to dentist and got a new referral to a different place but have been hesistant to call them. The first oral surgeon basically said that I would need IV sedation, and shot it down when I asked for the other options because "something something the teeth are too close to the nerve so you'd probably feel uncomfortable with just local something something." This part is embarrassing but I cannot do IV anything. It is full on phobia level (even typing it out makes me feel ill) and I had an autistic as fuck panic attack about it when the oral surgeon made it seem like the only way forward. Doomed to always be worried that my mouth is a bit stinky, I guess.
 
Making a big lifestyle change and I admit the anxiety is paralyzing. I need to ease into this shit otherwise it'll fail miserably.

Honestly, I just want the anxiety fucking gone, it is literally crippling and it makes me an awkward fuck.

Getting older and lacking life experience is also becoming more and more of a red flag which makes shit even more complicated. Fucking talk about a shitty cycle, lol.

Idk, what's your advice guys? How do I "become normal" mostly, how can I try to patch myself up more so I seem less like a broken human being? I try going out and shit but it's just... Incredibly depressing, and EXTREMELY awkward. I just want to be able to talk to people and shit and not have to be on the defensive all the goddamned time. I want to live, experience life. Not this retarded bullshit making me a fucking shut in.

Anyone escape this? It's fair to assume most 'farmers are asperger types if I'll be honest lol.

I just want to mature socially past the age of 13, this shit is getting old and I want it to change.
 
I'm completely flipping out. I'm losing my goddamn mind! I'm going absolutely insane, my mind is gone, and I'm berserk.
 
Making a big lifestyle change and I admit the anxiety is paralyzing. I need to ease into this shit otherwise it'll fail miserably.

Honestly, I just want the anxiety fucking gone, it is literally crippling and it makes me an awkward fuck.

Getting older and lacking life experience is also becoming more and more of a red flag which makes shit even more complicated. Fucking talk about a shitty cycle, lol.

Idk, what's your advice guys? How do I "become normal" mostly, how can I try to patch myself up more so I seem less like a broken human being? I try going out and shit but it's just... Incredibly depressing, and EXTREMELY awkward. I just want to be able to talk to people and shit and not have to be on the defensive all the goddamned time. I want to live, experience life. Not this retarded bullshit making me a fucking shut in.

Anyone escape this? It's fair to assume most 'farmers are asperger types if I'll be honest lol.

I just want to mature socially past the age of 13, this shit is getting old and I want it to change.
You probably "go out" to bars and shit. You are backwards, mentally.

Find a hobby that gets you out of the house and preferably around people. Focus on the hobby, not the people. Could be fuckin yoga or cooking classes or literally anything, there's a lot of these little groups most places. Just go and get good at the thing, gain experience, share that experience and learn with the others doing the same shit. You're all in the same boat.

Point is get out of your head. Many people dont even think about the random social interactions with others, its just natural. Why? Probably because they do this all the time and its NOT SCARY. You're the blocker here. You're not special and no one cares unless you really are a public sperg.
 
Half of my team took the night off last night. Cool, I guess. Not really. I'm trying to score a night off myself for tomorrow but braindead coach of mine believes there won't be a blizzard tomorrow. Yeah, I can't wait to see the U-Turn decision he'll have because that blizzard will be knocking on everyone's door Saturday night into Saturday morning. 3-6 inches of snow, mixed with ice and rain. Wish the snow would fuck right off for the remainder of the year until its proper time.

That's what I hated about living in my old home, was the winters. It would drag for 6 months and even after that timeframe, old hag mother nature, coughs up a lung in the form of random days of just more of a dumping of snow.

But okay cocksucker, deny the weather. Even if you deny me my PTO, I've got a point dropping in a day and I will take it off one way or another.
 
A lot of research later, turns out I can quit my job just fine, so I'll be doing that. Sad part is that I'll have to keep working for another 6-7 weeks. Hopefully knowing I'll be out, they'll leave me be. It's honestly such a relief. I've called in sick thursday friday this week and it has been boring as shit. If this is how it'll be for a few months til I get a new job, it'll be a challenge. However, I'm still considering this whole 'drive a truck' meme. The course takes 6 weeks and I can demand education while on unemployment.. but that could also be some kind of administration/finance thing. It'd be the safe choice but iunno, the idea of never having to really bother with offices, soft values and alike is appealing. I've always been told you're meant to kill yourself in a blue collar job from 18 to 30, then either move to an office or quit. And I'd be getting into manual labor at 30, granted trucking isn't much that I guess?
Find a hobby that gets you out of the house and preferably around people. Focus on the hobby, not the people. Could be fuckin yoga or cooking classes or literally anything, there's a lot of these little groups most places. Just go and get good at the thing, gain experience, share that experience and learn with the others doing the same shit. You're all in the same boat.
This is such a Catch 22. "Join a club to meet people, but also don't go there to meet people but to learn the trade, so if the people suck you can learn something, but you should also meet nice people". I get the sentiment but it's a rough balance to master. Like joining a club to find a partner but if you go out with intent to find a romantic partner, you're bypassing the whole point of joining a community. Speaking of unemployment; I really should look up local clubs. I did archery as a kid, was quite fun.
40 hours a week is existentially terrifying to me, even if I like the work. I really can't believe we live in a world where people spend so much of their lives working.
People out here joining boards, charities and such shit just to pad their linkedin, all the while preaching work/life balance, not commuting 2 hours a day and what not. If you ever look to people who make a lot of money, they'd gladly sacrifice some of that to work fewer hours, even if they don't actually work during those hours but have to be on location. I personally can't imagine meeting 9 and being off at 5. 7:30 at the latest, depending on commute. In my old job I'd be home at 2:30pm and feel like I cheated the system. Now, I'd be lucky to be home at 3:30pm and I more or less get up at the same time cause of the commute. I'd say pepper up your job application material, try it out and see if you can even land any interviews. If not, THEN you get to panic.
 
I realized that my intense anger isnt because of certain groups or ethicity (sorry). Its the people with money or skill that enable thier bad behavior.

I have niether. But I will get better eventually. After all. The internet grows smaller against an avalanche of robots and ai. Why not be nice to the few humans that are left?

And thats all i got to say. Be good.
 
What do you think is most important in a job? Time flexibility, or money? I ask this both in general terms, and for my more specific case.
What important to me might not be important to you. What comes across from your post is that you’re settled in your job. It’s defined, you can do it, and it works.
Now you’ve got something almost the opposite of that on the horizon but with significant negatives. But there are other jobs out there that might be perhaps more of a middle road, a bit more work, a bit more pay and yet still doable.
My work makes me feel utterly miserable sometimes and it’s stressful but it pays me and I can pay the mortgage on it. I grew up with no money and having no money and. Family to feed is a terrifying idea for me, so I suck it up and do it. Having said that nothing on earth would entice me to do more 70 hour weeks than I have done, even for double the pay.
My answer is basically: how much stretch and discomfort can you manage? Keep looking for other jobs, in case your current one start cutting people but don’t feel like you have to go all the way to corporate hell.
 
What do you think is most important in a job? Time flexibility, or money?
1. Length of commute

2. Work/Life balance

3. Money

Money is the least important thing, it's obviously nice, but the thing most people never figure out is that no matter how much it is, it's never enough to make up for all the other stress and bullshit.

My old job I was regularly working 6 day weeks, and the commute was ~30 minutes each way depending on traffic. I moved to a totally different job which pays pretty much the same in total, but I have an under ten minute walking commute, and I only work 4 days a week. A lot of people would say that's just a sidegrade, because they only think about the money, but I wonder- How much would they have had to increase my pay at the old job, to make the same difference to my quality of life? Truth is they could have doubled my pay and I still doubt it would have persuaded me to stay for much longer. What's the point of the money if I never have the time or inclination to do anything with it, because I am constantly exhausted from work?

Of course, the reality is for a lot of people, they essentially end up trapped. They chained themselves to a huge mortgage and fancy car on credit, so they have to keep up those repayments, and that means money has to come first even if they are miserable.
 
What do you think is most important in a job? Time flexibility, or money?
For me personally, definitely the money. BUT, that's because I'm in my mid 20's and don't mind suffering for like 5 years and grinding hard to save up a bunch. Then I'd probably quit and find something that didn't make me suicidal. The point is that it wouldn't be a long term thing for me.

I have crippling autism and I'm terrified of change.
This is so relatable. I've made many decisions (or lack thereof) due to my autism. I'd say that 90% of the time I regretted not doing something though. But maybe in an alternate universe I did do the thing and ended up worse. Hm...

Now what I'd tell you as a friend... don't take the 60hr job. There's a high chance you're gonna get burned out and quit. And then what? Is it easy for you to find jobs in your area? Autistic folks tend to struggle a lot to keep a job for a long period of time, for many reasons. I think you have a good thing going for ya.


But please don't take my advice seriously I am autistic and I quit my easy retail job this year lol
 
Back
Top Bottom