not an insult though. Have you ever heard women saying they like a 'medium-ugly' man? It's kind of a joke but not really, some of us like average looking guys.
Sure! My overt points were that the term "mid" is kind of insulting as a term, and also why rate someone you like. Underlying point was that
we don't need to know a 1-10 rating of the guy - you think he's neat, so that's all that matters.
See this is what everyone is telling me to do! but there's nothing to tell/ask him directly. He'd just think it's weird that I'm asking him and not someone else/the class groupchat. The sitting close to him idea would be awesome if our seats weren't already "technically" assigned, and he always has a large group of friends next to him.
Oh, that's annoying! How'd he get assigned a seat with all his friends? Well, anyway...in that case, what about when going in/ out, keeping your eyes open for an opportunity to be in front of him or otherwise catch his eye (which means yours have to be up and looking around)? And it doesn't have to be just him - his general direction or him & others nearby, too, if he's looking; a half-second of eye contact can have a zing.
Does he ever ask a question in class? If so perfect premise for having your eyes his way. Or, if you do, after you speak turn your eyes toward him/ the crowd and if he's looking (as would be normal if you just spoke) there's your opportunity for a start or a half-smile. (And if he's smart he might actually appreciate whatever it was you asked, so maybe then he'd start a conversation with you, never know.)
As for it being weird you single him out for a question outside of class - maybe he'd think so, maybe not. He might wonder about it, but he also might like it. (This is easier if he speaks in class; I get some classes aren't like that.)
Another thought - if he's usually around his friends, then if you exchange a few words with a friend of his in a light way, you're noticed and it's at least an ice-breaker/ creates a little familiarity.
I really do know that so much is done in group chat and online & people are insular, but it's not helping anyone get a date or have a bigger social circle. I think college is one place tech has made socializing dramatically worse by making it easily avoidable. Don't accept that that is inevitable.
I meant elsewhere on campus?
An important thing to note (does TMI count in this thread?): I fumbled this REALLY bad. I had the opportunity to do an internship in the same group he was in, I DECLINED. ALSO, we had to form groups for a project in this class, and to sum this up a lot he basically asked me if I wanted to partner up with him or with another group and I said 'I don't mind either way :-)' (important to note that in this instance I did a nice-person voice) and then he partnered up with his friends.
Oh! That's OK, and it actually says he
has noticed you, so you're ahead of the game. Ask him how the project went/ is going, mention how yours is, or ask about the internship. You could even make up something about how your project group is meh and you wish you'd gone with his (don't do this if it might filter back to your group). Or on the internship, if it's a different area/ topic than yours, ask about it and say you really think that sounds interesting (whatever). My spin on this for you: the ice was broken, so you have opportunities to open it back up. Even if it's been awhile, you can bear the minor awkwardness to continue the conversation. And yes it might take more than a single effort.
As for feeling weird or that you might look like a weirdo - understandable concern, but try to set it aside. And think in terms of a continuous flow of potential connection rather than open/closed doors. And if you have a "goal" of getting to know this guy a bit, then try to put your goal ahead of your fear. Worst case is rejection (which is why I say don't get totally invested); best case is perfect match and happy forever; in between are 18 million possibilities, the very least of which is you gave it a shot and survived.
And to your concern maybe he has a girlfriend/ mortifying: NO! I am not going to pretend I don't understand that that would possibly feel embarrassing - but again, there really is no REAL reason to feel that way. If you approach or ask, you haven't made yourself pathetic or weird. No is OK!; doesn't change who you are. If that were to happen, you go on your merry way and feel good you were willing to put yourself out there and take a risk. (Side note: taking risks over fear of failure or embarrassment has a way of making taking risks easier in the future...so long as you don't turn it into being mean to yourself and shrink back.)
stay at the Onion Farms cause, well, maybe I have the story wrong and he didn't actually prey on a 16 year old girl? Everyone seems to like him, so I'm probably missing some sort of context. But the context never came, in fact, the longer he's stayed the more it seems obvious that he probably did prey on a 16 year old girl. The longer he's here the more I'm thinking, damn, I should do something. Maybe I should've done something. I guess just feeling a bit disappointed in myself, I met guys like that when I was 16. When I was 13. Ignored my gut then, and it seems like I'm still ignoring it now. I think I'm just doomthinking though, when I have some udon, I'll probably immediately feel better and like myself again.
look
