How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Burning Bridge]

Okay well I was an alcoholic from 13 to 30 and I still managed to figure out how to grow as a person afterward so maybe that theory is gay cope.

And you certainly behave like a ornery teenager so maybe it isn't. Also, lol at comparing alcohol abuse to the shit we give to kids now.

 

[Betonhaus]

I think I'm catching a cold, which sucks. My bank offered to increase my credit card limit by a grand and, well I don't know how I feel about it. I'm trying to pay off that card so sure I guess?

 

[souschef]

Entirely unrelated, but I think I'm gonna give up trying to cook something based on a whim and an idea. Clearly my cooking skills are in the fucking gutter currently. Nothing I produce comes close to what I imagined. I need to start following recipes that are so baby goo-goo-gaga easy that my 9 year old niece can make it by herself.

What you need is to learn the foundation, just the foundation. Having the ABC in mind will already filter up "bad" ideas. Technique is always superior than just following recipes, but recipes help you with technique. Getting past this phase is less intimidating than you think. Experienced cooks make mistakes all the time, so as a novice you shouldn't feel discouraged

and the juice of an entire lime in the dressing that I tossed the noodles in.

That was the problem

I'm just so tired of my general lack of skill. And when I vocalise that, I get told off because reasons. I don't think I'm being particularly harsh or self-hating, it's just the naked truth.

My advice, start with less complex flavors. Get good at basic sauteeing veg, knowing the tried and true basis of flavor carrot/celery/onion is mirepoix (french) or sofritto (italian) and it's the basis of hundreds if not thousands of dishes. They're simple and work. Then focus on learning how to handle protein, temp control so you can achieve the optimal results (ie: not undercook or overcook protein, getting a nice sear and what conditions leads for it to form)

Ok so here you are saying you’re a crap cook but that crispy chicken stuff is hard. Last time I tried lemon chicken it was like poultry with battery acid, give yourself a break!

When using citric acid, it's 99% of the time used as a finisher, because of the chemical reactions with temperature and proteins, this is true especially for sauces and pastry filling

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

Was at my ma's today and it was quite nice. Called up one of my brothers to come along and had my GF in tow. Got fucking robbed at the bakery i visited to buy some cake to bring with me, a slice of cheese cake shouldn't be three fucking euro. Was delighted when my mother showed me her sketchbook, i mentioned in one of my posts ITT from not too long ago how i have the feeling that she's depressed ever since leaving the work force, so seeing her getting back to old interests was nice. I'd lie, or rather be a hypocrite, if i say it wasn't so nice seeing her being tipsy already when she opened the door because i proceeded to getting drunk myself once i noticed she already had a bottle open, some learned behaviour kind of shit. She had home-made pizza ready, bold combo of bellpepper, melanzane, ham and mozzarella as a topping but same as with her art stuff i love to see her getting around to doing things she enjoys doing, cooking being the next big thing to art for her.

Had a somewhat heated but good-natured discussion with my brother about some bullshit which got loud (i am part italian, par for the course. Kid brother isn't, we have different fathers.) where she sort of tried to intervene but both of us told her that it's all good, i told her she knows i am not attacking my kid brother just because i shout. I also reminded her that she only learned to speak italian while she was married to my father because she always thought my father was about to kill people when he talked and she did not understand the italian yet and this was kind of the same deal, just in german Fun day, all in all.

Nobody should bury their own sons.

Not gonna go into the whole suicide sperging of that user but as someone who has seen that and is still living that (my 20 year old cousin died to complications of his epilepsy, it broke me, it broke my aunt and also my other cousins, his brothers) i attest to that.

Entirely unrelated, but I think I'm gonna give up trying to cook something based on a whim and an idea. Clearly my cooking skills are in the fucking gutter currently. Nothing I produce comes close to what I imagined. I need to start following recipes that are so baby goo-goo-gaga easy that my 9 year old niece can make it by herself.

Don't, seriously. Keep at it, learn from mistakes. If it takes you to cook recipes your niece can cook to keep at it, do that, there is zero shame in that. I loved cooking, attempted an apprenticeship to become a chef in my late teens (which i failed) and hit a similar road block as you did just now about five years ago. Was always unsatisfied with what i cooked and stopped almost entirely to put something on my table that did not come out of the microwave, i started getting back into cooking regularly around the middle of last year and and am now learning again how fun and satisfying cooking a nice meal is.

Okay well I was an alcoholic from 13 to 30 and I still managed to figure out how to grow as a person afterward so maybe that theory is gay cope.

Pretty much my same circumstances and i whole heartedly agree. Apart from the drinking i got into hard drugs as a full grown adult (around COVID times, in my early 30s), dropped that shit like i dropped the severe drinking (i am aware that i am overdoing it with drink lately) and, as gay and "Live, Love, Laugh" this may sound, i grow as a person daily.

 

[MyBushDid9/11]

Just feeling a bit trapped innit

 

[Getmeout]

That is tremendously undermining, and I'm sorry to hear that. Parents should never rug-pull like that; it's a great way to destroy a kid's ability to trust anyone ever, or to develop the ability to know when/ when not to - nevermind robbing the kid of the deserved and fundamental security of knowing they are deeply loved. Parenting is hard and we are all flawed, but trickery and "gotcha" should never ever happen.

It's fine now, we're in a place where she's mostly accepted she's "lost" the game and I'll be taking any and all mental health issues to someone with a license. Essentially, I could talk to her... As long as it was about the "right" kinda thing. So let's say teenager me is feeling like killing herself, and mom tells her that she can talk to her about anything. Teenager me then admits she wants to kill herself, mom gets mad cause that's not what she wanted teenager me to say! She was hoping she'd say some easy shit like "A boy dosen't like me back" or something, not fucking suicide! Well CLEARLY teenager me is doing this for attention. Oh, she's not? YES you damn well are, quit talking back! Go to your room and give me that phone, also no talking to your friend for a week.

Eh, maybe I owed her a bit more respect, but it's hard to respect a woman like that.

I just think you're less self-aware than you think you are. You lashed out at me because I dared to go against the nauseating positivity circlejerk that the topic of suicide seems to always engender.

What are you even talking about??? What do you want her to say, fuck off and die?
"I can't BELIEVE you tried to cheer me up, the fuck is wrong with you" That's you, that's how crazy you sound.

 

[long waters]

you know what I like to eat? Something someone else spent the time to make me. Genuinely. If you put that in front of me and I didn’t have to cook that night I’d be overjoyed.

Agree with this so much hehe.

What you need is to learn the foundation, just the foundation. Having the ABC in mind will already filter up "bad" ideas. Technique is always superior than just following recipes, but recipes help you with technique. Getting past this phase is less intimidating than you think. Experienced cooks make mistakes all the time, so as a novice you shouldn't feel discouraged

It kind of feels like I should be taking this advice too... I've been cooking for myself for a long time, but I wouldn't call myself very good at it. Most of the time I just wing it and it turns out fine or good even, but I'd be too embarrassed to serve almost anything I make to someone else.
Most of the stuff I make is very basic and simple and not very interesting. Like for example, I cooked some potatoes earlier for dinner, but I just haphazardly sliced em in somewhat thick slices, rubbed em with olive oil, salted a bit and baked em in the oven. I just had them like that with a cup of kefir on the side. It was great for my tastes, but most reasonable people would probably be like "wtf is this peasant slop".
Oddly enough, I was more creative and into more interesting things when I was younger. At one point I even baked a cheesecake for some friends, and some cookies too on another occasion.
The only thing I think I'd be happy to cook for someone else and I'm sure would turn out good is pizza.

 

[souschef]

Agree with this so much hehe.

It kind of feels like I should be taking this advice too... I've been cooking for myself for a long time, but I wouldn't call myself very good at it. Most of the time I just wing it and it turns out fine or good even, but I'd be too embarrassed to serve almost anything I make to someone else.
Most of the stuff I make is very basic and simple and not very interesting. Like for example, I cooked some potatoes earlier for dinner, but I just haphazardly sliced em in somewhat thick slices, rubbed em with olive oil, salted a bit and baked em in the oven. I just had them like that with a cup of kefir on the side. It was great for my tastes, but most reasonable people would probably be like "wtf is this peasant slop".
Oddly enough, I was more creative and into more interesting things when I was younger. At one point I even baked a cheesecake for some friends, and some cookies too on another occasion.
The only thing I think I'd be happy to cook for someone else and I'm sure would turn out good is pizza.

You know what the problem really is? We live in a digital performative world, so we are constantly watching and being bombarded with content that we end up comparing it to our own performance. The thing is, you compare yourself with that cooking channel you like but you tend to forget, it's the guy's bread and butter (no pun intended), so of course technique and plating is on point, besides he's using refined equipment and professional lighting. Of course it will dwarf your homecooked meal in comparison, but you shouldn't compare yourself with them especially as a beginner

Ask any cook you might know what they cook for themselves when they're home, and you'll always hear the same answer despite some differences here and there: a simple home cooked meal

A good meal isn't something that's impressive, a good meal is something that tastes good and it's well done. No clashing ingredients and no wrong technique. You don't need to be perfect, but if you wanna be, take Marco Pierre's definition of "perfect": perfection is little things done well. And if you don't know who Marco Pierre is, he's a multiple michelin star chef, with more experience older than most people here. So if an authority backing you need well there you go

Do simple recipes, learn the basics, then throw in your own flair to those recipes to make them unique. Just by doing that you're better than most people at cooking

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Coming back to this:

Entirely unrelated, but I think I'm gonna give up trying to cook something based on a whim and an idea. Clearly my cooking skills are in the fucking gutter currently. Nothing I produce comes close to what I imagined. I need to start following recipes that are so baby goo-goo-gaga easy that my 9 year old niece can make it by herself.

I wanted to make sour lime'y noodles with crispy chicken, which I basically just winged with a couple of glances at some other recipes of varying quality.

So, listen, I cook with a lot of winging it - and/ or skimming recipes, combining them, and roaring forward. For old favorites, great results. But for things I've not done (or done much) before, I might still combine recipes, but I find one (usually the most detailed) to make the primary, and then I stick to the technique/directions like glue. Unless a particular direction is unclear (or I just don't like or buy it, ngl), and then I go find another one or read up on a particular technique to do a step.

The chicken is fine. It's not the crispy tender golden yummy experience I envisioned, but it's edible. The noodles are edible but flavourless, somehow, despite my use of a large 1-clove garlic and a 5cm piece of ginger, and the juice of an entire lime in the dressing that I tossed the noodles in.
And I keep dropping shit, or stuff slips out of my grasp or some other similar mishap happens in my kitchen. At least it's only me who has to suffer under my cooking

I'm just so tired of my general lack of skill. And when I vocalise that, I get told off because reasons. I don't think I'm being particularly harsh or self-hating, it's just the naked truth.

So I've already described my fast & loose cooking style, and that despite that approach, I will be a slave to directions for things less familiar. And I'll say that that last part has taken my abilities up a notch and made me more confident about branching out.

The other week I tried something new - not exceptionally complex, but new - bc I wanted to have some different full/ cooked meals for my adult/ college kid who lives with me, and I tend to default to the standbys, which tbh are getting old (and my kid is a foodie with sophisticated tastes from both dad and me [my cooking < my palate]). We have not-very-overlapping schedules, so I sent a text when I finished that I made x so if they're hungry when they get home, it's there & enjoy. No response but the next day they apparently dished up some to take with them for a midday meal, and I got these texts (and to be clear, we're pretty good at critiquing each other's efforts, never any hurt or hard feelings, so I take it at face value):

I brought it to school today and it's so good omg​

​

Thanks mom ​

Candidly, I enjoyed it myself, and I'd say it was quite good but not astounding - I'm sure it'll be better next time. But since it came out all right, I'll take on some more complex or technique-dependent recipes next. But fr, "good enough" was more than "good enough" - and it was appreciated by both me & my kid. And most importantly it fed and nourished us both, in a few ways.

So all of that is to say: keep at it and don't be mean to you! If it's edible, it's a win. If you don't intuitively or by study know the ideal techniques for teasing out the best flavors, then keep a reference nearby and use it, or pick one recipe and actually refer to it as you go. There really are differences in outcome by combining things at different times or in different ways, or after x time or at x temperature, etc. So maybe try following a good recipe closely and see if you learn anything new or get a better turnout. And if you don't, try another recipe. You'll get it.

And as a Ps, @souschef is absolutely right about the basic techniques and knowledge being critical. I'm a contextual learner (or just stubborn or distracted...), though, so until I have a reason to learn a specific technique/ knowledge, it might as well be Charlie Brown's teacher talking at me from the page. Ymmv!

 

[PetiteFeet]

My advice, start with less complex flavors. Get good at basic sauteeing veg, knowing the tried and true basis of flavor carrot/celery/onion is mirepoix (french) or sofritto (italian) and it's the basis of hundreds if not thousands of dishes. They're simple and work. Then focus on learning how to handle protein, temp control so you can achieve the optimal results (ie: not undercook or overcook protein, getting a nice sear and what conditions leads for it to form)

Thank you. While I'm not a trained chef, I don't consider myself a bad cook at all. I've just lost my mojo in general, and I'm split between wanting to lose weight and wanting to make tasty food so I end up with a weird third option that doesn't please me.

 

[Blanche Devereaux]

I rarely ever get sick but when I do, it's incredibly fucking inconvenient. I was super excited to attend some Lunar New Year shindigs I got invited to and nope, I'm ridden with the coof and losing my voice. It's also a shitty time because literally everyone at work is on vacation, and while I can do my job remotely, I feel like shit, sound like shit and can't think straight. I may bang out if I'm worse tomorrow, but I hate dumping my workload on an already stretched team.

 

[Outer Space Traveller]

Finding a job is like winning the generational wealth lottery. Of course it makes sense to educate yourself or get an internship that'll lead into a job, but what if they don't? I've seen people go through 5 unpaid internships and at that point you might as well give up. On the other hand, "oh yeah I took a temp gig and it became a full-time job after 5 months". Makes sense, right?

I looked up a few old job databases I used when I was unemployed and jesus christ it was borderline existential. Nothing to apply for, didn't know what I'd actually apply for, but once that one perfect listing appears, it all makes sense. "It's tailored for me, I'll get it!", and then either you get it and it makes sense, or you don't and you might as well fortnite irl.

God damn, it really is "having the right person to put you in a job", everywhere it seems.

 

[AnOminous]

So all of that is to say: keep at it and don't be mean to you! If it's edible, it's a win.

Yeah but usually, I felt incredibly like a total failure when I couldn't poach an egg. It's one of those skills you feel you suck unless you can do it. And it took me into my age of decrepitude before I managed to do it right. I FINALLY DID IT -- ACK!

 

[souschef]

Thank you. While I'm not a trained chef, I don't consider myself a bad cook at all. I've just lost my mojo in general, and I'm split between wanting to lose weight and wanting to make tasty food so I end up with a weird third option that doesn't please me.

You don't need formal training. Formal training is for speed, efficiency and standardization. A home cook must be organized and dominate basic technique. The extras are extras

As for losing weight it's your chance to lose weight and gain back your mojo. Actually, healthier and non fatty foods are tastier than any ultra processed garbage people find tasty. Understand the basis of macronutrients and you'll have the building blocks for a healthier and hipocaloric diet. You'll learn about spices, not only make your food taste better but influence your metabolism in different ways including shedding weight away

You're only limited by your creativity. It doesn't have to be plain rice and unseasoned chicken breast

 

[Motherf*cker]

i hate migraines. so much.
i have to figure out how to stop these, as i have so many things i need to be doing, instead of laying here in the dark....!!
it has given me a slight reprieve at least, which is why i am able to type this, but ouch. i read a thing that says aged cheese can bring on migraines, and i wonder if that could be why im having them more often?? admittedly, i spend a small fortune on cheese every week, because im a glutton,but maybe? i wish

YIkes, I hope your migraine goes away they are major sucky! Cheese is all healing. Praise the cheese.

I am currently drinking chamomile and Lavender tea and it's making me sleepy.

 

[Getmeout]

Thank you. While I'm not a trained chef, I don't consider myself a bad cook at all. I've just lost my mojo in general, and I'm split between wanting to lose weight and wanting to make tasty food so I end up with a weird third option that doesn't please me.

I had a phase as a teen where I was doing this "extreme dieting" shit (Read eating disorder) and one thing I learned amongst the groups I was in was that cico WORKS whether anyone likes it or not. Pretty much everyone was pissy about it and pretended that noo because of the metabolistic metaphysical interpersonal blah blah blah actually you can't eat oreos and lose weight. It's a lie and you'll do yourself good eating the food you like, just less of it. The only reason why the tasty food needs to be limited is cause it tends to be higher calorie, but they aren't "bad". Remember that, and don't end up like me.

I'll also put my negro card down and suggest you look into some African dishes, a lot of our food is vegetable and meat based. I could literally give you a recipe in DMs if you want.

 

[Banquet Meal]

that SUCKED, and honestly i had all of the symptoms of serotonin syndrome, which i have had before...but wow. that was a horrible migraine cluster.

Isolated, in poor health, and occasionally having bouts of feeling absolutely fucking crazy, as opposed to just depressed

im sorry, that sounds miserable i hope something changes for you soon.

 

[Glaust]

Does anyone have tips for treating sinus infections? I have meds on hand already, but god my sinuses feel like genuine hell

 

[hog cranking frog]

Thought I had a cold and maybe a stomach ache for a week. Woke up this morning unable to move, burst a shit load of blood vessels in my face I was wrenching in pain so bad. Now I'm in the hospital for at least the next 3 nights.

Get your colonoscopys. Don't ignore stomach pain. I'm lucky my wife was able to drop everything and haul my sorry ass an hour to the nearest urgent care (which promptly told us to go the ER). If I had tried to continue to tough it out might be a completely different outcome.

 

[TooManyKittens]

Does anyone have tips for treating sinus infections? I have meds on hand already, but god my sinuses feel like genuine hell

I asssume you mean antibiotics. If so, decongestant (guaifenesin aka mucinex without any of the other shit).

Could try a nasal saline rinse but ymmv and use distilled water for gods sakes if you do.

Id say mucinex. Drink a lot of water with the former.

Caveat: i am not a doctor. I do not play one on tv or the internet. I am a random kiwi on the autism forum laughing at lolcows. Have a salt lamp with my advice.