How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Pure anecdote but all the men I knew who went grey super early also smashed mad puss.
I had a friend at uni who went fully grey in his late teens/early twenties. Probably didn’t hurt he was also good looking and very funny and smart, but he never seemed to lack female attention. It wouldn’t have put me off (we were just friends.)
Hair is attractive only when it’s maintained well - long hair on men can be either attractive or grim, and for a body of evidence I refer us all to the Troon threads where they grow it long with nary a sight of a hairbrush, stylist or conditioner, or even shampoo.
I should probably book in with my hairdresser, I’m looking a bit wild and late-stage Kate bush at the moment.
I don't trust hairdressers lol.
Urgh they’re so hit and miss. There’s one near me who is convenient but they can’t deal with my hair. I have no idea why, it’s just hair. The only decent haircut I’ve had in the last few years was in our local city and of course the priciest place there. Sigh. I hope you find a better one.
 
I dont know if theres a vent thread or a depression thread or something but here goes
Im enjoying my new job but something still feels off, I just learned that my friend from uni who was in the deans list is doing his PHD, the guy who carried my ass throughout university. I used to be depressed about it, knowing I graduated with a 3.1 GPA while this guy was a 3.9 popular track star guy, being stupid and deficient and now its back. I dont know if I am naturally dumb or dysgenic or something, if Im to languish in worthless mediocrity for the rest of my life. On top of that, another person who I knew as a friend, no longer wants contact with me anymore. Ill admit, Im not the most social butterfly or the most enjoyable company, but I cared about this person and Im pretty gutted. Maybe it does not mean much to them but it means a lot to me, I wish them well. At this rate, my depression might come back and I wonder, why it must be this way. I feel like Job sometimes, if this is just the way things will be and everything positive will be fake or fleeting.
On a more positive note, I tried to register jeevacation as an email on proton for the lulz but its already taken. SOMEONE BEAT ME TO IT!!
 
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Weird to say that I find comfort in at least knowing a bit why I feel like shit. Checked my blood pressure and boom 158/97, suddenly the strange random chest tightening and headache makes sense. (nevermind comfort I guess, grown ass man crying like a baby because I can't control my own damn body, I do everything they say to stay healthy and this shit still happens)
 
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I was aware of a forecast of snow covering the entirety of the country but I figured the weather wizards would be correct in their 3cm guesstimation. My bad for trusting that guess.
It has snowed 20-30cm in front of my frontdoor and I don't have any shovel, spade or snow shovel to help me clear a path. I have a well-used, soft bristle broom that I inherited from my dad's workshop. It did the job but I spent more time than needed.
At least the dogs have been walked and neither of them had much issue with the snow, in fact it was the opposite for my old girl. As soon as there's a fine dusting of snow, she goes bonkers and acts like a puppy again. She had a fit of zoomies (I hate that term, it's so Reddit coded) and rolled around, snoot first diving into the larger dunes. Suffice it to say, she was WET when we came back indoors.

My only regret is I didn't buy more groceries when I had the wheels to get from A to B. At least my mother doesn't need to leave the house, my parents are a couple of kms away from me and I don't have any car so I'd have to walk if I needed to clear the snow from their property.
First world issue, because my house is stocked with the necessities except for vegetables. I'll survive.
 
depression thread or something but here goes
I’m going to tell you off a little bit, ok? Please don’t ever dwell on what people do that’s ‘better’ than you. There are billions of people on earth, and there are a lot of them dumber and more mediocre than you and a lot who are smarter. One person on earth gets to be smartest, and who knows, maybe it’s a ninety year old reindeer herder or something.
It’s perfectly normal to have these thoughts. But don’t let them get their claws in.
You also need to understand that a PhD is nice, but it doesn’t really get you anywhere in most cases. I’ve got one, and I’m an idiot, and it’s not gotten me any more money or career progression and it’s certainly not made me any happier in my general life.
The older I get the less I care for these external markers people think make success. Go your own way, and be happy for your friend - his PhD doesn’t detract from you unless you’re ruminating and comparing.
That’s not good. What’s causing it? Are you on medication? Are you overweight? Kidneys ok? Are they helping you with this? Are there factors you can change here or is it a medical thing?
 
Mom got more Oxy from the same cunt doctor who ignored my endometriosis until it all went rotten. Her husband had spinal surgery though.. so she came empathize.

Being a caregiver is fucking shit and I was denied assistance again even though my full time job is looking after my dad. They just denied it outright. What fun.

I've had no luck finding a part-time job and I don't have enough hours or energy in the day anyways.

I hate fucking everything.
 
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That’s not good. What’s causing it? Are you on medication? Are you overweight? Kidneys ok? Are they helping you with this? Are there factors you can change here or is it a medical thing?
Am going to the doctor today and have been last week. They tested me for a lot of things but my sodium came back at 136 which means it isn't that, I barely drink, and am not over weight. I've been having massive spikes in the morning and when I stand up. I just hope they can give me something to lower my blood pressure while they figure out the cause of it. I was low on a few things like AST which could point to the thyroid but still I haven't really a clue.
 
I’m going to tell you off a little bit, ok? Please don’t ever dwell on what people do that’s ‘better’ than you. There are billions of people on earth, and there are a lot of them dumber and more mediocre than you and a lot who are smarter. One person on earth gets to be smartest, and who knows, maybe it’s a ninety year old reindeer herder or something.
It’s perfectly normal to have these thoughts. But don’t let them get their claws in.
You also need to understand that a PhD is nice, but it doesn’t really get you anywhere in most cases. I’ve got one, and I’m an idiot, and it’s not gotten me any more money or career progression and it’s certainly not made me any happier in my general life.
The older I get the less I care for these external markers people think make success. Go your own way, and be happy for your friend - his PhD doesn’t detract from you unless you’re ruminating and comparing.
Thats sweet but youre one of the most intelligent people in this forum, even if you like to undersell yourself. So I dont exactly buy the second part. Im sorta used to comparing myself with others because I feel thats how I improve, "if somebody else can do it, why cant I" is the attitude I usually have. And that most of the time, does not pay off for reasons I dont get. I dont understand or believe in divine providence, maybe the day I am successful or am showered with good things, rescued from the pit of societal blackness or something like that, Ill believe in it. Dont get me wrong, I am happy for the guy, but I wish my life also had some value at this moment and not in some intangible unknown future.
 
Hair is attractive only when it’s maintained well - long hair on men can be either attractive or grim, and for a body of evidence I refer us all to the Troon threads where they grow it long with nary a sight of a hairbrush, stylist or conditioner, or even shampoo.
I think there are exceptions to this principle, though. Soyboys have completely ruined the lumberjack beard by having these ridiculous beards that are somehow prissy and gay, and not even in the bear way.

Men grooming their hair excessively is suspicious, and I don't mean this in a gay way, I mean it in a they probably have shitty politics and you shouldn't be friends with them way. I see that excessively groomed beard and assume they worship troons and want to BASH THE FASH.
 
youre one of the most intelligent people in this forum, even if you like to undersell yourself
Well thank you. I don’t think I am, but I can say that it’s not bought me any happiness at all. None. Being female and intelligent is like being a horse that can dance. It’s novel but nobody values you for it, and maybe you’ll end up at the knackers yard for being insufficiently agreeable
And at work? Hahah. Well they like crowing about how many phds they employ but the don’t actually pay us or promote us any more than people with regular degrees. So it’s not use there. All it did really was delay my being able to earn any actual money in a real job and keep me well out of the engineering and arts departments where I might have met some more interesting men.
The thing with ‘of the can do it why can’t I?’ Is that you only have limited capacity and a lot of stuff takes practice. Could you learn to speak Finnish? Yes you could, but it’s a fair old undertaking. Could you learn to be a fairly good violin player? Yes but again, it’s a big undertaking. Do you WANT to do a PhD? (Don’t, is my advice.)
Comparison is the thief of joy. So if all these other people didn’t exist, and you didn’t feel bad about them, what would YOU want to devote yourself to?
And don’t think other people don’t feel like this as well. I would be lying if I didn’t see people get promoted over me and get somewhat bitter about it. It’s a normal response, you’ve just got to not let it get a hold of you. Or direct it to rage and action
I guess I’m saying, him having a PhD doesn’t make him more valuable. Except to whomever uses him as cheap lab labour
 
Walked into to that doctors visit and saw the Indian doctor and knew I was going to be ignored, bitch really said yes even though your blood pressure is high it isn't our concern. Even said the new blood pressure machine I got was broken. I made the appointment for high blood pressure and even though apparently I do have it that it isn't the concern of the visit and all of the matching symptoms to high blood pressure I'm having is just vertigo. My chest still feeling tight? Must be vertigo. Even made me do this whole stupid exercise that did nothing and will do nothing. I said my issues are when i'm driving and she ignored me and said do it in the morning and afternoon. Like I cant just lay down on my side to fix vertigo in the car. You can just fucking tell as soon as you walk in when a doctor deserves to be deported.
 
And don’t think other people don’t feel like this as well. I would be lying if I didn’t see people get promoted over me and get somewhat bitter about it. It’s a normal response, you’ve just got to not let it get a hold of you. Or direct it to rage and action
I guess I’m saying, him having a PhD doesn’t make him more valuable. Except to whomever uses him as cheap lab labour
This is what my mum says, maybe it's an age thing and I'm just too young to see the broader picture. Thanks again.
 
Men grooming their hair excessively is suspicious,
Oh absolutely. By maintained I mean, ‘clean, neat, brushed.’ Just wash and don’t look like a Troon. The bar’s low.
I used to have a flatmate at uni who insisted she’d never date a man who didn’t manicure his nails and wear designer gear. Oddly two of her boyfriends turned out to be gay.
This is what my mum says, maybe it's an age thing and I'm just too young to see the broader picture. Thanks again.
It’s just that it’s universal - you will time and time again in life see utter idiots promoted over you, and the awful guy get the girl, and you can be annoyed but if you get consumed by it it’ll hurt you.
I just saw some guy who is like the living embodiment of Soy get promoted at work, and it sucks - he can say all the right corporate words and he got the job. Can’t stand him and I think he’s not as competent as 90% of the other people they could have chosen but meh, he got it, and that’s that. No point getting sad about it.
 
Thats sweet but youre one of the most intelligent people in this forum, even if you like to undersell yourself. So I dont exactly buy the second part. Im sorta used to comparing myself with others because I feel thats how I improve, "if somebody else can do it, why cant I" is the attitude I usually have. And that most of the time, does not pay off for reasons I dont get. I dont understand or believe in divine providence, maybe the day I am successful or am showered with good things, rescued from the pit of societal blackness or something like that, Ill believe in it. Dont get me wrong, I am happy for the guy, but I wish my life also had some value at this moment and not in some intangible unknown future.
Take it from another egghead asshole that's a lot like your friend in the Ph.D. program. Getting a chill industry job with no constant demand for novelty is the dream. Enjoy life while the morons who got a Ph.D. are stressed out managing a team of people, begging the government for money, coming up with research directions, and teaching classes. Our personal lives almost universally suck outside of work. My colleagues leave work and spend the rest of their time with their family while fighting the urge to work at home (and failing most nights if their email timings can be trusted). Also, getting a Ph.D. means you lose 4-5 years of wages and delay your adult life with more university infantilization. A solid 75% of my peers under 40 act like they're still 20. You basically have to be born to rich sumbitch parents who provide you with everything not to fall behind socially in uni or join a cult.

Don't beat yourself up over this. Go enjoy your life. Meet a mid-woman whose plans for the evening involve a pottery class and microwave burritos. Have some midwit kids who never make the varsity team and are content to play video games/write bad fanfics. Striving to be the best is taxing and comes at enormous personal expense even when you are the best.

This is what my mum says, maybe it's an age thing and I'm just too young to see the broader picture. Thanks again.
Nah, it's an experience thing. I'm not much older than you I suspect.
 
im out of ideas of what to cook next week...which if that is my biggest concern, i am very lucky, but still. ive been sitting here for almost an hour trying to think of something NEW to cook, and i cant think of anything that sounds good, or that my family would eat, since they hate anything new to begin with....
one of my standby dinners is a roast chicken with dressing, giblet gravy, some sort of vegetable, mashed potatoes/turnips, and sponge cake with vanilla custard, so there is that...but honestly, i make this every week, just as much as i make a beef/pork roast on sunday. its so boring. i like cooking, but there comes a time when you just want to be lazy and let everyone eat cereal or whatever.

also, i bought a book on how to make felt characters from the wind in the willows, so im going out to buy the supplies needed for this. i could just like...buy them made already from somewhere, but there is no fun in that, really. also that is one of my favorite books, so we will see. it seems a it involved, but im not entirely sure HOW involved.
i need more excitement though.

sadly, this is the wrong time of year for any excitement, but im going to see the lords of acid/vnv nation in may, so there is that. i thought it was in april, but nope. may.
i hope all of you have a more exciting week than i am! :lol:
 
Just go grey. Silver grey hair on men is attractive. For women just let it go grey and have it blended professionally if there’s a significant line. You do need to look after it a bit differently as it has a slightly different texture. Overly dark hair dye when you’re older looks really harsh. Mine is starting to get grey strands through it and it’s fine, it’s just life. I won’t dye mine unless it has a significant break line and even then it’ll just be to blend it better. You need to work with the way your skin and hair changes as you slide towards death’s embrace.
I think this is the way to go. I spent my youth trying to get my hair white/silver just to dye it dark when it gets white naturally? Nah. A good ombré while it transitions and some keratin treatment to get it smooth is my plan.

I just had the pleasure of driving home on un-plowed non-salted snow covered roads. I was tense all the way but made it home safe none the less. While stopping to blip open the gate to my parking garage some drunk hobo opened the passenger seat to my car and got in. I totally panicked. I yelled at him to gtfo and pushed him/released the brakes while he was getting in and for some reason he got out. Maybe he thought I was his ride or something, he was really drunk. He didn’t follow me into the garage so I think he was harmless. If he had a knife or a gun I might not have got to see my first grays after all. Now I’m drinking the absolutely disgusting orange and clove cider I got for Christmas and googling how to get my car doors to autolock. Fun!!!
 
I just had the pleasure of driving home on un-plowed non-salted snow covered roads. I was tense all the way but made it home safe none the less. While stopping to blip open the gate to my parking garage some drunk hobo opened the passenger seat to my car and got in. I totally panicked. I yelled at him to gtfo and pushed him/released the brakes while he was getting in and for some reason he got out. Maybe he thought I was his ride or something, he was really drunk. He didn’t follow me into the garage so I think he was harmless. If he had a knife or a gun I might not have got to see my first grays after all. Now I’m drinking the absolutely disgusting orange and clove cider I got for Christmas and googling how to get my car doors to autolock. Fun!!!
Woah, that sounds horrifying! I must ask why were your car doors unlocked? For example mine doesn't have automatic locking when driving, so I always have to remember to lock them manually by pressing the button for it.
 
Seasonal depression beating my ass atm. From previous years I know I kind of have to just wait it out. It will be better when Spring arrives in 2-3months (I hate the north).
On top of that today just sucked. I had a practial exam and almost failed. Thing after thing went wrong. (:_( Oh well, I passed and it's weekend so yay.
 
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