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- Apr 21, 2025
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Your husband sounds like a right cunt, no offense. This is is some legit abusive and extremely manipulative behaviour.snip
It's never too late to say "I'm sorry". You don't have to become best friends again but at the very least you could mend the bridge enough that you can be polite and civil if you happen to encounter him again. Admitting your faults enables you to work on yourself and become a better person.i found a new recycling facility in my locale to get scrap steel and copper for sculpting today and i ran into an old nemesis when i was scouting their inventory
theyre another metal artist and we used to be friends until i wronged him profoundly in a way he should never forgive me for
without getting into details, i destroyed something of his and he tried like mad to destroy me for it and lost a tooth in the conflict
He avoids me now and has been going to this other facility for a while because he does not want to encounter me
Now i dont know what he'll do, since ive invaded what im assuming is the only scrap yard left in town i didnt know about
I lament that i burned this bridge, hes mostly a good guy, does very unique intricate work and welds prettier than i may ever achieve, i learned a bit from him and could've learned much more had i not lost him due to my own foolishness
2 of his creations are in public places and i still visit them when its convenient, one of them is on the sidewalk right outside a business that has one of my pieces inside it
theres some beauty knowing that our creations will still be close to each other long after we're both dead
but perhaps thats just cope so i dont have to admit this is my fault
You need to ditch this guy.When he is nice, he holds gifts over my head
urgh I know. I had a chance to use a really cool old bit of machinery last week. The end stage was pulling a lever and I struggled to do it. Was a bit of an eye opener and I need to go lift some weights I think.am such an out of shape piece of shit it is disgraceful.
can you pinpoint what triggered the feeling? Was it something said, or done? Or an aspect of the meeting? Or just the weather?I wanted so bad to have a good day after I had a genuine conversation with my social worker but I've been down in the dumps all day.
Feeling really upset with myself and short of going to bed early (8:30PM) I don't really know what to do. It sucks to suck.
I'm imagining an otter hanging from a giant lever going "MOVE, DAMN IT".I had a chance to use a really cool old bit of machinery last week. The end stage was pulling a lever and I struggled to do it.
That’s pretty much how it went down.I'm imagining an otter hanging from a giant lever going "MOVE, DAMN IT".
Yeah, I know exactly what's the issue - any time I discus or try to work on my feelings and triggers, my entire system is left triggered for the rest of the day even if nothing bad happened. Our meeting was actually really constructive, I just feel everything for hours after the fact.can you pinpoint what triggered the feeling? Was it something said, or done? Or an aspect of the meeting? Or just the weather?
No I don’t think you can avoid it. It’s painful, and your brain and body tend to want to avoid that so they’re doing this to you. They’re making you feel bad so you avoid the larger pain of digging deeper. It’s just like the ‘urgh, I don’t want to work out’ feeling.Yeah, I know exactly what's the issue - any time I discus or try to work on my feelings and triggers, my entire system is left triggered for the rest of the day even if nothing bad happened. Our meeting was actually really constructive, I just feel everything for hours after the fact.
I guess it could be considered ruminating and overthinking, but I don't see a way through all of this without actually working on it. You can't avoid this if you want to move past it, right?
I will. I'm seeing her tomorrow.Talk to your therapist about coping strategies when this happens perhaps?
And honestly, even without such a diagnosis it’s very normal to feel like that. Digging into emotional stuff is hard. Be kind to yourself over this, just let yourself feel it and tell yourself it’s part of the process.I will. I'm seeing her tomorrow.
I realise it's my AvPD that rears its ugly head any time something could be seen as "criticism" even though it's just a harmless attempt at mentalisation therapy. I agree that I need to keep going even if it triggers me right now. It will get better and easier.
I randomly re-add people on Steam from years ago, shoot the shit, see a spark of chance to re-socialize, then, no fucking matter how much of a lifeless neet they are, it falls through. You truly just grow apart but man even if the stars align they just don't want to put the work in. The only reason returning to your hometown to hang out with your old childhood friends work is because you're physically present and can show up and demand all of their attention (if they aren't glued to their phone). You need to be in a severely isolated state online to just open up to a good friend returning, but it can happen. And that's why it's addictive. And yet, I'm never on the receiving end of it. If someone re-added me years later I'd at least give it a shot.You don't have to become best friends again but at the very least you could mend the bridge enough that you can be polite and civil if you happen to encounter him again. Admitting your faults enables you to work on yourself and become a better person.
"Should I tell my one night stand's bf that they're cheating on them? UwU". The fact adult people struggle with this notion is why there's so much asshattery in relationships. If people were sober for a second now and then, we'd have no Hallmark xmas movie tropes.Getting cheated on can never be your fault. If a partner is dissatisfied with something the correct thing to do is talk about it, and if things can't be resolved that way, then perhaps amicably ending the relationship is the way. But betraying someone by literally fucking around is vile.
Shit like these really makes you paranoid on how many people you can trust,one wrong word and they'll want you dead.Just want to let this black pill out of my system first, with the harsh lesson your friends can and will turn on you sooner or later.
Others will never care about you the same way you care about them.
On the topic of steam friends, I have a lot of people I'd like to reconnect with that I met through the internet. Besides being a fuck-up NEET with zero things going on in my life, I think I have gotten legitimate braindamage at some point in my adult life. I made a ton of friends via Gamespot back in 2008-2010 and still have some of them on my steam friendslist, but the scary thing is that some of them I can't remember the names, faces or even personalities of. Thanks to my mental health bullshit in general, I have large gaps in my memory, but it isn't just restricted to moments in time where I felt emotionally vulnerable. They're random and don't discriminate. Just total VOID.I randomly re-add people on Steam from years ago, shoot the shit, see a spark of chance to re-socialize, then, no fucking matter how much of a lifeless neet they are, it falls through. You truly just grow apart but man even if the stars align they just don't want to put the work in. The only reason returning to your hometown to hang out with your old childhood friends work is because you're physically present and can show up and demand all of their attention (if they aren't glued to their phone). You need to be in a severely isolated state online to just open up to a good friend returning, but it can happen. And that's why it's addictive. And yet, I'm never on the receiving end of it. If someone re-added me years later I'd at least give it a shot.
It's Steam. I think it's not that big of a deal to send that kind of message in this context. I've added randos from TF2 or whatever because I thought they had a funny name.So even IF I had the courage to want to catch up and I could ignore my embarrassment at my life in general, I can't remember them and I'm afraid to say "Hey, hi, sorry, I don't exactly remember who you are but I want to reconnect."
also, how can he give/not give presents if you are the one working anyway?? what a faggot, giving his wife presents with her own money...you deserve better out of life. im not gonna tell you to leave him, as i know how that isnt like something someone can just do, nor is it an instant fix, but you can demand to be treated better, unless he wants you to destroy him. seriously, dont let him get away with that shit. he sounds worth onless :/
Thank you, and agreed but since I'm not in danger, It's all a waiting game where I am making my plans for a smooth transition. i appreciate you fuckers telling me that I am worth better, I have never believed it until recentlyYou need to ditch this guy.
urgh I know. I had a chance to use a really cool old bit of machinery last week. The end stage was pulling a lever and I struggled to do it. Was a bit of an eye opener and I need to go lift some weights I think.
can you pinpoint what triggered the feeling? Was it somethin