As much as discord is viewed with great horror, and maybe it really is the case that 2/3rds of servers are like this, there are also comfy places with normal people who don't go word policing or grooming or gooning or whatever. But such places are always private servers and you need to know someone from there first. I think some of the key things for a good discord server is having a hard no porn stance, being careful who you let in, and not having thousands of members. I think after a certain size things tend to get out of hand.
I hope you figure it out soon fren, because it definitely doesn't get easier once you're over 30.