How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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I bought a birthday present for a friend and it was pretty obvious she didn't like it, even though she had talked a lot beforehand about how she likes that kind of gift. It was disappointing.
 
At the end of every year since COVID I keep getting odd people from my past contacting me for some fucking reason. To apologize for being a dick or to reconnect even though I’m not interested.

Also my friend’s husband texted me telling me I’m cute. Fantastic. (Only have his number cuz he was my boss ages ago)

I’m an adult with an adult life doing adult things with a full on family and everything. I don’t need people acting like high schoolers towards me.

Anyway, I’ll just ignore them. But it’s a weird trend.
 
Back in summer I posted how I got home in the nick of time to see mom pass away. I miss her a lot. I still consider it a miracle, and I don't get many of those, she got to hear me tell her how much I loved her before she went. Once I came home, I finally had the time to let it settle in she's... gone. I wish I had one more birthday and Christmas with her. I was very lucky last year's as her last was good. I got gifts for my brother birthday-wise and him, her, and dad on X-Mas to have one last good season in case.

I did quit my job, willingly, for the first time ever in my life to go home for sake of family. Dad isn't doing good without mom and I can tell is feeling much better already with me around. I know the pets missed me too, especially my beloved cat, after so many years building up job skills. I suspect I will be here for several years, seeing dad and the elderly pets pass on themselves, before going out into the yonder again as my brother takes care of the younger dogs still full of life. I wish I had my own family. I admit it. But with my lack of ability to socialize, the dating hellscape outside that, and my own rootlessness, the odds are not good finding a good woman to settle down with. It was my greatest dream, but I think part of this errant mid-life crisis is accepting many things are not happening as wanted and recalibrating myself to at least live life a little, do things than just go with the flow.

I mentioned my job, yes, calibrating. The issue is, it was a disaster training me. My would-be specialty to be go-to guy got outsourced a month after hiring. I had to scramble to learn all other kinds of stuff and be taught when my co-workers were busy with their own jobs. Stuff that was "basic" wasn't frequently in to work on, so I couldn't practice as much as I could or should to build up. And this when the upper management tried to turn our sleepy, efficient lab into a bigger productive hub and it went... bust with too many on-site jobs, older co-workers' health collapsing from overwork, the younger one than I having such a zero-life I looked vastly socialized and connected - to say nothing of the on-site jobs being days-to-a-week away from home. IE, if i wanted that level of "living to work", I'd re-enlist in the military. But the good news is... I learned nonetheless on so many items I still became useful for the grunt work. And to where when I said I had to go home for family's sake the bigwigs apologized to ME for the training disasters, asked to put their names on my resumes for recommendations, said if spots come up in bigger labs (IE, the grunt stuff I should've been on in the first place is way more common anywhere else in the company, go figure) they'd call me up before hiring anyone new-new (!). And the actual lab co-workers, the guys on the ground I worked with, would miss me and did assure me I was indeed doing well by/in the end, and definitely liked me personally. Told me the same in case the lab got big enough they want dibs on me first, which means a lot.

So, I'm home with the family that is left, and I'd like to use this break to... live life for once for me, than prepping for a future that didn't really come to be. To travel, to make some productive hobbies. I want to learn to draw, maybe push out some storybook idea I had since if I can't have a family I can at least maybe make something worth reading and looking at for hopefully many kids out there to enjoy and remember someday. Flinging something out there for the world to enjoy, something wholesome, you know? I sometimes wonder if I'm going to end up by myself but trucking on in fitness till the very day I die, and if I'm doing that I may as well go whole hog living in a little warm green area with some pets and keeping myself occupied like some peaceful monk or something, I dunno.

I really miss mom. I'm with my cat though, that helps.

But, life goes on, and I will live it best I can.
 
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Today's off to a nice start. It's sunny, the wind isn't insane and it's not that cold for a change.

Also my dumbass frog is closing in on frog stage a lot earlier than anticipated. That's pretty cool, too, even if I gotta scramble to get the little fucker feeder guppies now.

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DatBepisTho said:
Today's off to a nice start. It's sunny, the wind isn't insane and it's not that cold for a change.

Also my dumbass frog is closing in on frog stage a lot earlier than anticipated. That's pretty cool, too, even if I gotta scramble to get the little fucker feeder guppies now.

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What is his name. Is it Gorf.
 
WASR96 said:
Got a call from a doctor who's friends with someone I go to Church with. He got a run-down on my prognosis and believes he has a regiment that could help. Apparently had someone with a similar outlook that's just been getting scans, but otherwise has been in remission for 3 years now. Nothing to lose at this point so I'm going to give it a try.

Shit man, sorry. That's rough, especially at this time of year. If whatever they gave you is too strong or gives you an upset stomach, see if they can do dilaudid for your next pain treatment instead. Still gets rid of my pain every time I'm inpatient without making my stomach churn. It does make me an obnoxious chatterbox since you still get the euphoric feeling. The nurses definitely deserve a raise for listening to whatever stupid shit I have to say while on narcotics.
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I am on a fairly strong opioid regimen right now, three pills per day plus some liquid painkiller that tastes like ass. Still in high pain, today was the first day i managed to walk more than two steps. Still don't have a diagnosis because a hospital in a 1st World country doesn't seem to have the capacities to do a simple MRT anymore, beyond of a fucking joke. Have to do all my physio on my own as well, i have no idea what the hell's going on. The only people who seem to do any work are the nurses. All in all 2/10, wouldn't recommend, will be the shittiest Christmas ever, no doubt.
 
Been a while since I don't visit this thread, I unfollowed it by mistake.
I lost my job back in September, and I'm still trying to find a new one. It has been rough, nothing short of that. For those of you who still have your own source of income, count your lucky stars.

Despite that, I am well. I have live at a comfortable apartment, I have food and I have a family. Nothing else I could ask for.
 
The Feline Solution 2 said:
The only people who seem to do any work are the nurses
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I unfortunately have seen this firsthand all year. I submitted most of my nursing staff for Daisy awards and ordered them lunch quite a few times, because the nurses are the only ones who actually listen and give a shit. It's starting to look like they're planning to just try to dump me off to a hospice care and tell me good luck after I'm done with this round of radiation, so I guess I'll be hunting down other options by myself. Sorry you're going through this during the holidays, I hope you start to feel better soon so you can get back home.
Hildy's interior cuckshed said:
Has he hinted at what the regimen consists of?
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I was a bit out of it when we talked since I'm back on a medicine cocktail to keep the radiation side effects at bay. It's supposed to be some sort of "chemo smart bomb" that they're testing to more accurately hit cancer cells while trying to avoid damaging as many healthy cells. He also wants me to start taking resveratrol and copper supplements since recent studies have been seeing success with it being able to clean up the dead brain tumors without harming healthy cells. I'll learn more by the end of December, it's close enough to where I can travel there and home without too much of a hassle. I'm not banking hope it will change anything, but I'm willing to try and let them get some useful data from me at the least.
 
Not great. For now I'll just say that around this time of year I tend to get chronic, low-level sick - the way a lot of people do, I get it from work - and on break I fall to pieces because I lose my daily structure. Regardless of if I try to reimpose it. Add a few other things and I wake up and go about my day but I don't DO anything.

In fact, I had, this Summer, started putting my life in order by cleaning my apartment, then by cleaning my project so I could actually finish it (which I'm well on the way to doing, I'll be out of here whether I have a job set up or not). But I kind of ran out of cheap victories on the apartment cleaning side, so instead I organize information, and that doesn't really lift my mood the same way. I start doing jump rope just to find I had fucked my shin up, I thought it would be my "do this on your own porch" routine but the asphalt is brutal, I guess, and so that's not really viable. Even if it's correctable with form I still needed a break just to let that shin heal. It got to wear I could tell that I just couldn't blow the pain off or I'd genuienly injure myself.

Now I'm cleaning up things like YouTube Watch Later lists and bookmarks and crap. It's a bunch of organization to eliminate all friction in my life that's all in service of nothing because I don't go out and do the things I organize for.
 
Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
chronic, low-level sick - the way a lot of people do, I get it from work - and on break I fall to pieces because I lose my daily structure. Regardless of if I try to reimpose it. Add a few other things and I wake up and go about my day but I don't DO anything.
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I get sick always after Christmas. I don’t think it’s lack of structure, it’s like I just carry on and then when Christmas is done my body just kind of says ‘ok I need a break now’ and knocks me on my arse for a week.
 
I've been busy both yesterday and today, baking cookies and preparing dough for yet more Christmas treats. So busy that I haven't had the time to sit and stew in my own brainrot.
I'd like to keep up this type of steam and general effort in 2026. Forming new, healthy habits and breaking old patterns is difficult but I know it's doable.
Crossing my fingers my psych nurse appointment on Tuesday gets me the referal to the local psych hospital that I kind of desperately need, or at the very least can give me a direction to proceed in with regards to my mental health outside of simply medicating me.

Rant, but it is insanity to me that healthcare providers can simply just write you off with a new prescription instead of seeking other methods of curing whatever ails you. Medicine is useful and can be the tipping point for many, many things. Personally, getting put on anti-anxiety meds has been groundbreaking, but I need help to work on myself now that anxiety isn't crippling my ability to be in a room with people that aren't blood related to me. I don't remember the exact point in time I started on psych meds but it's close to 20 years. Two decades of no one questioning why my depression/s haven't gone away. Surely that would be a red flag after two years, nevermind two decades?
I guess it's easier to medicate someone than trying to solve the issue via therapy/ies. Heck, I have never been offered alternative methods either. At what point does ECT get brought up as a possible solution? Is it only severely self-destructive people who get shocked? Genuinely, I want to know, because I have heard of people with severe depressions getting "fixed" with ECT.

Ah well, 2026 is almost here. Can't keep myself leashed to worries that are way in the past. Time to look ahead, and keep looking ahead.

Juan But Not Forgotten said:
That's what I don't like about potatoes, you can only season them with garlic, paprika, dill or thyme. The rest just doesn't work.
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Lemon. taters.
As a kid I fucking HATED potatoes but as an adult who decides what I eat, when I eat, I have finally found room in my heart for the humble potato.
Also, potatoes are fucking BANGER in curries. Japanese curry, indian curry, doesn't matter.
Boiled, smashed potatoes lovingly slathered with butter, then nuked in the oven until crispy. Divine.
Roasting pan full of root veggies and a rack ontop with a beautifully seasoned chicken, slowly cooking the tubers in the fat and juices from the bird. YUMMY. And the best part, you can season the chicken however you please. Herby butter under the skin of the thighs and breasts, oozing down onto your vegetables. An entire lemon, cut in two and stuffed inside of the carcass.
Or if you're a grill kind of guy, dress the chicken up so it sits on a can of beer where you've drank half of the contents (pit master's privilege) and then thrown a handful of fresh herbs inside of the carcass or into the can, served with twice baked potatoes
 
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I know this is kind of stupid of me being sad about since it's way out of my control, but my friend and I were supposed to take out one of our friends out to dinner since she lost her dad. We wanted to take her out because she's going through a shitty time. Now she got into a car accident, and the one social outing I have with my friends before the year is up went poof. I feel really terrible for her.

Life really comes at you fast. Thank God this shitty time of year and year is over.
 
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