How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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I didn't post about it at the time, but Dog gave us another scare a bit over a week ago. The Saturday before last, he started limping and soon had a lot of swelling near the important injury. I suppose he overstretched the inner wound/scar and damaged it, causing the swelling and pain. And he was in a lot of it, had to take him to an emergency vet at like 4 AM, who gave him some stronger pain medication, and on Sunday to the closest vet that was open that day (thankfully, just two blocks from here). Long story short, he's been on a bunch of medications and is doing better now, but it was scary again. Good thing is the last blood tests proved all his levels are back to normal, and the kidney issues have passed, meaning they were because of the accident, not a preexisting or continuing renal failure.

He's still fussy and demanding, but he's doing better at least. Don't give me more surprises, please, man.
 
Still dealing with the aftermath of my father's passing. Although it was to be expected, still wish I said and did more. We had an extremely close relationship and it seems extremely odd that since that day I've been in some kind of "robot mode", taking care of much of the paperwork and other duties without much shown emotion.

Anyways, my duty is to my mother and the rest of my family, I must protect and provide for them so I do what I must without thinking. While the limits of remote working were stretched way past plausibility (stayed almost 3 weeks at my parents' after), I still felt guilty going back to the city.

Friends are a bit worried seeing me withdrawing but I was never one to talk much about my feelings anyway.

Ham radio is still a wonderful escape, even if I cannot devote much time to it.
 
Got laid off today. Came right the fuck out of nowhere. Getting this job to begin with was a miracle and it was pretty much perfect for me, so I'm devastated. It had nothing to do with my performance and instead was a company merge issue. I'd hoped to be with them for a good long while and now it feels like everything I worked for was for nothing. I'll likely never find a position like this one ever again.
 
Juan But Not Forgotten said:
Well, if you watched this movie closely, D-fense turned out to be everything he denied he was i.e. abuser and a psycho.
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He actually figured it out though by the end of the movie. He was not a pure monster. He literally uttered the line. "I'm the bad guy?" The question most villains never ask. "Are we the baddies?" Especially because he realized at that point that he actually had become the bad guy.

This is why I sympathize with this character despite knowing that yes, he was a bad guy.
 
Juan Números said:
Still dealing with the aftermath of my father's passing. Although it was to be expected, still wish I said and did more. We had an extremely close relationship and it seems extremely odd that since that day I've been in some kind of "robot mode", taking care of much of the paperwork and other duties without much shown emotion.
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Takes a lot of time and paperwork and absolute bureaucratic nonsense even when it's relatively simple and family members are cooperating instead of acting like absolute faggots and fighting. Thanks, like it doesn't suck enough that your dad died, now you have to spend months coping with the bureaucratic bullshit it involves. I understand the "robot mode." I would otherwise be collapsing into a stupor of grief.
 
AnOminous said:
Takes a lot of time and paperwork and absolute bureaucratic nonsense even when it's relatively simple and family members are cooperating instead of acting like absolute faggots and fighting. Thanks, like it doesn't suck enough that your dad died, now you have to spend months coping with the bureaucratic bullshit it involves. I understand the "robot mode." I would otherwise be collapsing into a stupor of grief.
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Ha, family is Hell. When my old man went on his final adventure, vultures were waiting in the wings to peck at what they could because...well because that's how vultures are. He left everything to ma with the understanding that things will go where they deserve to go, or at least that was what the plan was. But he wasn't even cold yet when they sued the estate and made a bunch of easily disproved claims like coercion, cognitive impairment, you know the drill. Mom ain't a fighter, never was. She wanted to roll over and give it all away to make the problem go away. I told her I'll take over and so she signed that whatever it's called paper and the second that pen left the paper I contacted these faggots and told them I'll empty the entire estate fighting them to ensure they don't see a single cent, then I'll pursue them for costs. They all caved except the truly desperate one, who thought millions were coming to him. Took 4 years to dislodge him, but that's mostly because his lawyer would drop, he'd get a new one, and they'd file to catch up on what the fuck idiocy this was. I empathize with people who are dragged to court over false pretenses and allegations and have to spend money needlessly.
 
Dizzyuntildeath said:
She wanted to roll over and give it all away to make the problem go away. I told her I'll take over and so she signed that whatever it's called paper and the second that pen left the paper I contacted these faggots and told them I'll empty the entire estate fighting them to ensure they don't see a single cent, then I'll pursue them for costs.
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I'm glad I have a great family and everyone was falling all over themselves to be fair to everyone else instead. I actually think I got too good a deal and am going to sneakily make sure one heir gets more than the current deal because this is bullshit.
 
AnOminous said:
Takes a lot of time and paperwork and absolute bureaucratic nonsense even when it's relatively simple and family members are cooperating instead of acting like absolute faggots and fighting. Thanks, like it doesn't suck enough that your dad died, now you have to spend months coping with the bureaucratic bullshit it involves. I understand the "robot mode." I would otherwise be collapsing into a stupor of grief.
Click to expand...
Dizzyuntildeath said:
Ha, family is Hell. When my old man went on his final adventure, vultures were waiting in the wings to peck at what they could because...well because that's how vultures are. He left everything to ma with the understanding that things will go where they deserve to go, or at least that was what the plan was. But he wasn't even cold yet when they sued the estate and made a bunch of easily disproved claims like coercion, cognitive impairment, you know the drill. Mom ain't a fighter, never was. She wanted to roll over and give it all away to make the problem go away. I told her I'll take over and so she signed that whatever it's called paper and the second that pen left the paper I contacted these faggots and told them I'll empty the entire estate fighting them to ensure they don't see a single cent, then I'll pursue them for costs. They all caved except the truly desperate one, who thought millions were coming to him. Took 4 years to dislodge him, but that's mostly because his lawyer would drop, he'd get a new one, and they'd file to catch up on what the fuck idiocy this was. I empathize with people who are dragged to court over false pretenses and allegations and have to spend money needlessly.
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Christ, that's fucking awful. I named my Mom and Dad as the executors of my will, and it's understood who I want to have what inside my immediate family. I specifically named two extended family members in my will under the portion of who you want excluded, because I know they're faggots who only come around when someone passes looking for free gibs. My Grandpa wasn't even buried yet and they were already showing up trying to take shit my Grandma wasn't going to give to anyone because the stuff was important to him and she wants it to remember him. If they try to fuck with my family or my belongings in any way, I'll figure out real quick how to come back as a ghost and fuck with them until they kill themselves.
 
Just learned a long time friend from childhood died. This has got me fucked up. Fuck.
 
AnOminous said:
He actually figured it out though by the end of the movie.
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Nope.
Sergeant Prendergast: [trying to arrest Foster] Now, let's go meet some nice policemen. They're good guys. Come on, let's go.
Bill Foster: I'm the bad guy?
Sergeant Prendergast: Yeah.
Bill Foster: How'd that happen? I did everything they told me to. Did you know I build missiles? I helped to protect America. You should be rewarded for that. Instead they give it to the plastic surgeons, y'know, they lied to me.
Sergeant Prendergast: Is that what this is about? You're angry because you got lied to? Is that why my chicken dinner is drying out in the oven? Hey, they lie to everyone. They lie to the fish. But that doesn't give you any special right to do what you did today. The only that makes you special is that little girl.
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It was more like "how did it happen that people think that I am a bad guy, I was doing everything right, it is not my fault". Fuck, that's what DSP would say. I mean, it sucks that he got laid off, but he is the prime example of misplaced anger. But damn, his dialogue with that korean is basically an average 4channer in a nutshell.

- Do you know how much money my country gave to your country?
- Haw muss?
- I don't know. A LOT!
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AnOminous said:
He actually figured it out though by the end of the movie. He was not a pure monster. He literally uttered the line. "I'm the bad guy?" The question most villains never ask. "Are we the baddies?" Especially because he realized at that point that he actually had become the bad guy.

This is why I sympathize with this character despite knowing that yes, he was a bad guy.
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One can lose and gain sympathies for D-Fens (aka Dilbert gone nuts) several times throughout the movie, and I think being somewhat conflicted about him was the authors' intention.
It would be boring, if he was either just a victim of circumstances, or utterly despicable.
 
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A bit emotionally stressed. Or a lot, maybe.

So some weeks ago I had a talk with my foster brother. I found out;
  • He has been diagnosed with PTSD.
  • Foster parents are at death's door. Still living but also living part-time at the hospital for various ailments.
  • No one wants them in retirement homes, so the sibs are driving back and forth to take care of them despite living kilometers away.
This is on top of him being a family man with a demanding job, a wife, three kids, a house, a dog even.

Anyway, so when we talked, we bounced around the idea of me coming for a visit since I was going to the town he lives in anyway for unrelated reasons. It is the day after tomorrow, so I sent him a text yesterday just checking in, and he has not responded yet. I am going to send another text tomorrow and ignore the feeling of being an emotionally needy brat.

I also have to sort of manage how to go about the feeling of being hurt here. Granted, he's a busy man, so naturally he's swamped. At the same time, I just wish he'd answer me. A no would be disappointing, but it'd be an answer, and I can plan ahead for that. But just silence sort of hurts a little although it is a small thing, in a large pile of bigger things like forgetting my birthday every year and how I am always the one initiating contact.

There are good reasons for everything. I am just starved of goodwill after a lifetime of having none.

And that's not to mention the complicated feelings of your former parental figures being in really rough shape.

I've managed to put it off for some time, but with the day looming closer and closer, it begins to take more and more space in my mind.

E: Word
 
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Stuck in a brutal rut ever since my job ended earlier last week. Got up at 5PM today and poured a Gin & Tonic right away, finally got around to give a sign of life to friends and family who have been pestering me on Whatsapp, now none of these niggers is answering back. Had weird dreams centering around my first girlfriend, who i haven't seen since i was 14 years old, these last couple of days and i absolutely hate it. Feeling like i am losing it again, big time, and i also hate how familiar this feeling is.

Anyways, gettingback to getting loaded and shitposting.
 
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