How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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A lot better. Someone from the group reached out and asked where I had went considering everyone hadn't realized Id left so abruptly. It still hurts that no one reached out beforehand but we're hashing it out at the moment.
 
the bars of the plan fall away,
you can run, you can stay,
you can rebuild the cage,
a farm town, a holler,
a teammate, a collar,
you would do well with some order,
 
I'm moving offices at my job, hopefully. My coworker had a nuclear meltdown with lots of cursing and screaming last week over a perceived slight.

I pulled my boss aside and gently told him I wouldn't be putting up with anything like that again.
He apologized, supported by decision and is even helping me find a new place to work within our building.

I feel so light, and honestly the adrenaline of finally moving on has kept me going through all the uncertainty


...And of course because I can't just have one major life change, my husband and I rescued a farm kitten with only 3 legs. The farmer doesn't know how he lost his front leg, but the vet speculated it was a car related injury.

He's currently set up in a blanket nest, with a heating pad, water, kibble and a litter box in our bathroom until our other two cats get used to him.
Hes the sweetest creature. I have to clean his nub with alcohol pads and he hasn't hissed, scratched or bitten me once over it.

I love him so much
 
Consumed by life being dogshit. Feel trapped in a society that's let me fall through the cracks. Started actually putting out my writing, but it's a long shot on whether that'll do anything to make things better or not
 
Oh good. Ran a 100.4 my first cycle which meant I got zero sleep that night. Guess what just did? Fucking tired of doing this same song and dance for months on end. I just wanna be healthy and normal again.
 
Autism is a fucking death sentence for any sort of normal social life.

Can't even have friends man, let alone any sort of romantic life.

Fucking approaching 30 and it's terrifying me every day. Legit losing sleep over this shit.

I have a feeling I can probably be the ultimate drone but fuck having any sort of fulfilling life as a HUMAN BEING and not as a robot I guess.

I'm so goddamned lonely.
 
Rekeita's Kidneys said:
I have a feeling I can probably be the ultimate drone but fuck having any sort of fulfilling life as a HUMAN BEING and not as a robot I guess.
Click to expand...
Too relatable..

Somehow made friends with some new guy at work I think. He organizes some get togethers with his buddies every now and then and invited me along. Haven't really hung out with people in years, guess I'll see how that goes.
 
Moving to the new place has been an uphill battle, from the preparations to the moving day itself.

I've been doing everything on my part, for like a couple months by now (despite my kid getting sick, then I getting sick, then she getting sick again), but the other part (the people moving out of the target house) has failed to meet every deadline for every preparation. Including today, I was supposed to move in a few hours, only to be told at 8 AM that the house isn't ready and that it will be by tomorrow. I'm trying to reschedule to moving truck to Monday, get the moving permits reissued, planning around work (again, it'll be on Monday, and I'll need time in the days after), and surviving a couple days with everything fully packed and disassembled.

For context but without details, this whole thing is an arrangement with some relatives (as in, it's not strangers that are simply dragging their feet in leaving the house), and the situation is delicate and understandable, but still frustrating.

But I swear to god, we will get this shit done one way or another.
 
I saw two pitbulls maul my neighbors cat to death today. And now I consider Helen Keller to have been lucky because I’ll never unsee it or unhear it
Fuck me man. The poor cat and my neighbors…
And even worse? The dogs are being given back after a short hold
 
Been having an extremely "apply whipped cream to back of throat" week, but at least it's the weekend now and I can stop taking demoralizing phone calls and depressing emails for a couple of days. (Still applying liberal doses of whipped cream to back of throat.)
 
I'm stuffed! Was scheduled to meet one of my brothers at my mother's house today to show us pictures and tell us all about his recent trip to Vietnam, went there at 4PM with my girlfriend in tow but didn't know my mother was up since 5AM and has been cooking since. There was enough food for a battalion, anything from onigiri, chicken teriyaki, Thai shrimp salad, fish tacos and what not. Just so much food, i overate like a motherfucker. Old girl used to be a shit cook, i used to hate her food growing up, but man, she really put in work since retirement. Last Christmas she already went all out and today was almost as good as then. Can't wait for the holidays this year if this is the new standard.

Gotta get my drinking in check though, had two bottles of Prosecco at mom's place and have been nursing Gin&Tonics since i got back to my place, only had one day of sobriety this week. Can't go back to being The Alcoholic Solution again but i'd lie if i said i am not having fun being a bum drunk again after all these years of hardly drinking. I know that's exactly how that shit gets you, though. Gonna make an effort and quit for the next four weeks starting Monday (or rather tomorrow, i most probably empty the half bottle of Gin i have here tonight) lets see if i still got enough self-control.
 
First week at the new job, and dammit I feel great. Going back to doing something I actually enjoy and am good at is a breath of fresh air. Even after a week of long hours and hard work, I feel better than I have in a long time. I can already feel my workaholic engine revving up, it's ready to redline, and I am all for it.

I also had a chance to take a bow shot at an amazing 14-pointer this morning, but the fucker must have gotten spooked as he didn't get close enough and I know I am not talented enough for a 75+ yard ringer. But even seeing that in the wild was awesome, he was a gorgeous animal.
 
Rekeita's Kidneys said:
Autism is a fucking death sentence for any sort of normal social life.

Can't even have friends man, let alone any sort of romantic life.

Fucking approaching 30 and it's terrifying me every day. Legit losing sleep over this shit.

I have a feeling I can probably be the ultimate drone but fuck having any sort of fulfilling life as a HUMAN BEING and not as a robot I guess.

I'm so goddamned lonely.
Click to expand...
Same here, I do still have a couple of friends from highschool that I talk to periodically, but they both got married and had kids shortly after graduation, so they obviously don't have time to hang out or anything like that. It's very isolating being a sperg sometimes.
 
im doing as humanly bad as possible...everything is going wrong, and i feel completely alone. idk what to do anymore. *i know this sounds gay and maybe it is, but im just so tired of trying when nothing seems to get better*
(:_(
 
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