How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Congrats! Best of luck in your new office. Wishing you the best, alongside wishes that your new coworkers won't be dysfunctional mouth breathers.
Thank you, it's been a long time coming. Apparently one of the senior members of the office is planning on some kind of discussion to resolve things between me and him spesifically.
Idk if it'll work though, he's a tad arrogant and I don't think he'll actually apologize for anything.
 
Well I mean my PC is in the last throes of defeat. It'll probably be dead by mid January or it'll be not useful to me by then. Guess that doesn't matter. I'm planning on buying the parts for a new one and my brother already told me he would build me a new much better PC. The only reason I want a new one so bad is because the new Resident Evil is coming out in February and I already have it preordered and I desperately need to play that game.
 
Doing so-so, I attended this year's Halloween Horror Nights at USH last night but my retarded self failed to realize that the Express Pass add-on is a must for HHN which meant I could really only enjoy the ambiance and go to thee usual Halloween-themed show at the Dreamworks theater (It was Chainsaw Man-themed this year).

That said I may have caught some sort of bug at the event or the day after because I woke up with a scratchy throat on Tuesday and it slowly morphed into a stuffy nose and phlem-fueled coughs as the days went by. Right now it's manageable but I still feel like shit.

Oh, and the kitten we took in is doing fantastic. She’s gained enough weight to get her vaccinations and she’s very, very, very busy when it comes to playing with the other cats (even if they don’t want to).

EDIT: After posting this Mama Archeops recommended that I take a Covid test just to be safe (Mama and Poppa are at the age where they could have complications if they caught it) and thankfully it came back negative, confirming that that what’s ailing me is either a bad cold or the flu.
 
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Also, you sound bored. I don’t think splurging is bad if you have the money, just buy fun stuff. Don’t buy a vase or some shit. Or do, again, if you have the money.
Funnily enough, I wanted to buy a lamp so I wouldn't have to turn the lights on since it seems that it makes harder for me to get the melatonin to fall asleep. But I also wanted to buy shit like an ice cream machine. Why? Yes, I do make ice cream from time to time, but do I need a machine for it even if it is rather cheap and by Black Friday it may be even cheaper? Do I need a vacuum packer? I mean, it looks interesting as fuck, but still. Do I need a gaming controller or a drawing tablet? No, but still, it is just this creeping feeling of "I want to buy something". Honestly, I'd buy cheap bench press gear, I miss this shit, all I can do here is dragging some heavy trash around. The problem is that it is absolute certainty that in the future I will have to move, probably very-very far away so I won't be able to take it with me. Selling it beforehand is an option, but I feel like I will have to beg people to take it so I won't have to throw it away, I've already been there.
 
Don't suppose anyone cares but I had a date today with a girl. The date went fine but I wasn't feeling it. The girl just felt really young to me even though there's less than 5 years between us. It was like talking to my little sister or a younger cousin. She was really nice but I just had to tell here that it wasn't going to work. I feel like shit, she really was nice. I could tell she was disappointed and maybe a bit upset. She told me she just wanted to go home after I told her and it broke my heart. God I'm such a fag lol.
 
Slight update on my end; IRL's going well, got a nice chunk of cleaning done for some purchases I'll be making in the near-future, so that's nice. Writing's also had some progress; got one problem nailed, but I still got quite a bit left to figure out.

Overall, still trucking along. Looking forward to when I can safely give a fully-positive update; from how things are going so far, I'd say it may or may not be sooner than later. At least, I hope.
 
Now my Dad is sick. Thankfully they did cultures and tested for tumor markers which came back negative. They can't figure out what's wrong so far though. I can't visit him since he's inpatient on a normal hospital floor and my immune system still isn't up to snuff. Feeling guilty since my Mom told me he's been stressing out over my medical shit so I feel responsible. Think I just need to get out of the house for a while and go touch grass. Might go take out my frustrations by thinning out some of the feral hog population.
 
It's sucks when you're on the right track in your life and your body starts doing weird things again.

Don't suppose anyone cares but I had a date today with a girl. The date went fine but I wasn't feeling it. The girl just felt really young to me even though there's less than 5 years between us. It was like talking to my little sister or a younger cousin. She was really nice but I just had to tell here that it wasn't going to work. I feel like shit, she really was nice. I could tell she was disappointed and maybe a bit upset. She told me she just wanted to go home after I told her and it broke my heart. God I'm such a fag lol.
Nah don't feel bad. Nothing is weirder than being out with someone who feels really immature and/or naive.
Only a weirdo would want that to go to the next level.
Totally not faggy at all.
 
I’m working hard on cutting down my drinking.
I don’t drink to excess but I have a “problem drinking” pattern when I stress (turning to alcohol to calm down) which annoys me, because I hate having to depend on external tools to control my emotions. In the past two weeks, I’ve more than halved my consumption, but I wager it’ll get harder with time.
I wish beer wasn’t so tasty, it’d be so much easier to quit if it was.
 
Fine more or less, all things considered, Yet, it seems that me and my spouse are nearing that moment in life when we will have to pick where in the hell we want to live. If someone told me about that in my 20s, I would probably be excited. Now, I am just fatigued. It's like whatever place you take, it sucks ass. People, prices, governments, taxes, fucking bureaucracy (ALL bureaucrats should face the wall). PS maybe it's autumn and just me being too tired idk.
 
I always love the first snowfall of the year. Everything goes a little quiet for a brief moment.
Then people forget how to drive in poor weather conditions and cause a 13 vehicle pile up.
Which I also love.
 
Not the best. I don’t get why I’m so scared of women. Yea, the assault happened, but that was in my childhood. And growing up I wasn’t scared of women, at least I just hated them. Why am I terrified of them now??? It’s like the reactions are reversed. You’d expect as a kid I’d be scared and as an adult I’d have hate, but it’s as a kid I was hateful and bitter and as an adult I’m just fucking scared of them. Yet I also have an affinity for them, cause I want to be protected by one to sorta prove to myself that they aren’t all bad. I don’t know what’s wrong with me man, I just want public bathrooms to be normal again.
Oh. Talking. Yes. We do that. I thought you meant something else.
Sorry for the late response, I didn’t get the notification. That’s great then, best of luck.
 
Not much to update about the lad, he's back at the vet again for more treatment with IV fluids and antibiotics. I can say I see him move a bit faster and eat a bit more enthusiastically each day that passes, which must be a good thing. He gets really depressed when we have to put the Cone Of Shame on him so he won't lick the wounds, so he mostly just lies down until he gets hungry or thirsty or wants to pee or poo, at which point he'll stand up and angrily fumble around with the cone, crashing into everything. To remind, he's blind, so it's not like it limits his visibility, but it must mess with his I guess Daredevil-like hearing powers.

Again, the forecast is he'll heal, just slowly. The alterations (anemia and kidney issues) are most likely caused by the accident itself, and if there's any after effects with the kidneys or something, well, we'll deal with that by then. There's special food and stuff that can help with that kind of thing.

It's all been, and continues to be, an emotional rollercoaster. Ups and downs, as you've seen. Don't wanna be too pessimistic nor optimistic, but today I feel better about things. Still worried, still guilty, but better.
Update on the lad.
We repeated the test yesterday, and everything is better. Most parameters that were altered are now in within normal ranges; some are still not normal, but it was what we expected, and they're closer to normal anyway.
The day before that, they did an ultrasound on him, and the wound has no foreign bodies inside, and internal organs are not compromised (only some inflammation, due to the trauma, cellular destruction associated with all the bruising, and blood loss during the first several days; this was also expected). This confirms surgical cleaning, though desirable to accelerate the healing, was never necessary. Oh, and they checked these two bumps he's had on his back since who knows when, he had them when he was first found, and were always a worry even though they weren't growing or causing pain: they're nothing, not tumors, not even scars. Probably just remnants of some injections that caused small infections and encapsulated.
The main wound is doing much better, and he's in good spirits overall.
Today he got a last dose of fluids (this time not intravenous, just subcutaneous or something, injected on his back; he became a dromedary for a little bit, then the fluids started to be absorbed),

I had let him be without the cone of shame yesterday and he mostly behaved, licked the area around the main wound mainly, the wound itself a bit, the already healed paw wounds, etc. So today I thought, eh, why stress him out more, he can be without the cone.

Dumb lad tore out the scab of the already almost healed wound on his hip, not one of the important wounds, pretty superficial, but now the flesh is exposed,
So back to the cone.

He'll be OK. Unless something dire happens, he won't need any more treatment, beyond the antibiotic, a pill for swelling, and some food supplements. Maybe redo the test in a couple weeks to see if the remaining parameters have gone to normal.

Thanks everyone for reading me throughout this thing. Hug your pets. I've seen some posts during these days about others' pets passing away. My heart goes out to you.
Cheers.
 
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Sorry for posting here again so soon.
>Want to commit suicide
>”Committing suicide makes you a bad person”
>Want to commit suicide more cause if I’m a bad person then I should just go


It’s stupid but it’s been this cycle for months and it’s especially bad now. It’s rather pathetic to admit, but the whole “You’re not bad for this, you’re just broken” campaign really helped me. Even though it’s, mmm, how do they say… “faggy”. I guess my thought process is broken things can be fixed, so I just have to fix myself and I won’t want to kms anymore. Evil must be eradicated, so if these thoughts make me evil then I must be eradicated. Idk it’s retarded.

I know a lot of people say “Stay alive for this or that” but any good thing I’ve experienced so far in life has never made me think “Man I prefer this to dying.” It’s made me think “This is nice. Would be nicer if a truck hit me tho.”. Idk I just don’t have that desire to live, the only time I sorta did was with the whole “You’re not BAD for trying it, just hurt”. Cause I think “Oh, I really am a loon. Being a loon is no way to live.”. Rather than “Ya, I’ve been known I’m a shit person, time to end it once and for all.”. I’m sorry this is schizo, all my thoughts are sorta disorganized.
 
Don't suppose anyone cares but I had a date today with a girl. The date went fine but I wasn't feeling it. The girl just felt really young to me even though there's less than 5 years between us. It was like talking to my little sister or a younger cousin. She was really nice but I just had to tell here that it wasn't going to work. I feel like shit, she really was nice. I could tell she was disappointed and maybe a bit upset. She told me she just wanted to go home after I told her and it broke my heart. God I'm such a fag lol.
You did the right thing. (I think you know that; I'm just thinking out loud.). If you know you aren't interested, it the right and kind thing to do to be clear about it. And maybe your age floor is higher than you thought it was (or maybe it was just her specifically). But it's far better to be truthful and give someone a small disappointment than to string them along or - worse - get involved with misgivings and then cause greater hurt. She'll be okay.

...

Going to a concert with my kid tonight!
 
Temporarily a stranger in a strange land. Often thinking of that "I think you should leave" sketch where Tim Robinson (on the verge of tears) tells the stranger "I don't know what any of this shit is and I'm scared."

Except I'll be fine. It's just so weird how weird people from far away places are. And now I'm the weird one because they're all on the same page. Good practice expanding my horizons, I suppose.
 
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