How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Project: Move from the bedroom(2) to the bedroom(1) is proceeding well. Now that the drywall touch-up and paint is done things are moving faster.
Got the new Ikea closet organizer installed. Had to make a special trip to the dump to get rid of all the cardboard, was planning to wait until the end of the project but there was too much. Luckily it could go to the local dump since it's FREE to recycle. They charge too much for garbage so that will go in a week or two to the farther one.
The next problem is moving the dressers back in. I swore when I moved them out I'd clean out the excess clothes when I moved them back, so the time has come. Who really needs 5 pairs of destroyed paint covered jeans for painting. After the dressers, move the bookshelf in, then assemble the new bed.
When I moved bedrooms I threw away the old 20+ year old mattress and have been sleeping on the "guest" futon. Little did I know that mattresses have gone to shit in the intervening years. They're all "hybrid" this and "memory foam" that. Finally broke down and just ordered one that's actually flippable. I'm sure it won't make it 20 years but I suspect it will do better than the modern foam shit. And if I need foam I can slap a topper on it.
Someone else mentioned buying stuff. I usually like buying fun stuff but instead I got a new mattress, new hard floor cleaner(since all the new floors are LVP) and a few other things for this project.

I guess the summary is: doing well, trying to get this knocked out before Thanksgiving travel.

I got all chuddy again and threw them away
I think you might be retarded in addition to needing to be medicated.
 
I also don't want to be a bother.
I can’t help with the jerking off thing, that’s never really been a problem for me cause I just don’t like sex, but I can say this. If your loved ones find you coming to them with a legitimate problem a “bother” then they’re pretty shitty people. Back in my day, we asked the people we cared about how we could help.
 
I can’t help with the jerking off thing, that’s never really been a problem for me cause I just don’t like sex, but I can say this. If your loved ones find you coming to them with a legitimate problem a “bother” then they’re pretty shitty people. Back in my day, we asked the people we cared about how we could help.
It's legitimate not wanting to be bothered about sex for the time being. This too shall pass (thankfully).
 
Legit think they need to bring back Asperger's syndrome. That's how I identify my affliction. Fuck that faggot "high functioning" shit. I am NOT high functioning at all. Same time I'm no mute. Calling it a "spectrum" disorder is just idiotic imho. Besides, Hans Asperger was a proper old school Chud if there was one lol.

(millions must DIagnose)
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Holy shit, that's Dr. Asperger? One of my brothers, the one were my whole family thinks he's on the spectrum despite not having any official diagnosis, looks at me like that when we talk. Like, always :story: Gotta send him this pic and tell him "I told you so".
 
Tumor markers went from the high 400s when I was diagnosed to being undetectable. Scans are finally scheduled for next week where I'll find out if I still have terratoma cells requiring surgery. Bloodwork was a little lower than last week but they said it's normal since my bone marrow is still trying to recover.
Hurrah! Fingers crossed for a good scan. You remain in my prayers.
 
I'm feeling lonelier today than ever for some reason. I want to be optimistic, I want to keep hustling and doing shit, but I feel like I lost my best friend and I'm legit never getting her back. I can't stand feeling like it's 5-8 years ago again and it really hampers my optimism and drive.

I want so badly to DO something and yet can't seem to find anything. It's hard to explain.

TL;DR:
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I feel better today after venting here yesterday. I think I will prioritize self improvement more than dating.
This sounds horrifying and hearing stuff like this makes me want to stay single for life.
Yeah it was not fun. Please do not let the story of my crazy Ex ruin dating for you, I think I just won the horror lottery in dating, and believe most women are not like my ex. Its just sticks with you more because it kicks in a survival instinct of remembering negative stuff more than positive stuff, even if its a one in a million chance of happening again.
I want so badly to DO something and yet can't seem to find anything. It's hard to explain.
Go out walking for a while and take time to process it, and evaluate your options in a calm nature setting. Just remember, this feeling too shall pass.
 
Yeah it was not fun. Please do not let the story of my crazy Ex ruin dating for you, I think I just won the horror lottery in dating, and believe most women are not like my ex. Its just sticks with you more because it kicks in a survival instinct of remembering negative stuff more than positive stuff, even if its a one in a million chance of happening again.
Brother I haven't dated anyone in like a decade, so don't worry, it won't change anything. I think I'm too autistic/retarded for social things of that nature.
 
and believe most women are not like my ex
Unfortunately, there's a lot of them out there looking for a free ride through life, and I'm sorry you got caught up in that shit. My last long term relationship was similar. Saw the red flags at three months when she called it OUR money, but I still held out copium that she was seeing me for me and not for my money. She was a teacher and started whining every time we saw each other about how she didn't make enough (to be fair, most of them don't and I wouldn't have the patience to teach elementary school kids) and how she was becoming dissatisfied at being a teacher. I assume she wanted me to tell her "okay, go ahead and quit and I'll just support you" because when I suggested she was still young and could go back to school to change career paths into something she would be happy in, she called me an asshole. Saw the BPD writing on the wall and gtfo of that mess. Finding a woman who has her own goals and the desire for self improvement is pretty important to me, unfortunately I haven't found any with those traits yet lol. Good luck to you in your future dating, I hope you find the one who loves you for you and not your job out there soon.
 
My fucking cat died and im a wreck and ive been lurking around for a while trying to get back into the swing of shitposting and just living my life again.
His name is mayo. Like the condiment cause hes a stray and I didnt know what to name him. I had him a year or so but he ended up having a bad reaction to the meds when they put him under anesthesia for a routine procedure and he passed away last week on the 30th. Im fucking devastated and getting my ass into more therapy.
 
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I had bariatric surgery and dumped 100 pounds, still need to do more, kinda plateud and even took 3-4 pounds back :(
 
I'm being strongarmed into an international vacation in Italy with my in-laws (including their extended family), and I am not pleased. I fucking hate traveling, I wouldn't want to do this with my own relatives, let alone with this gaggle of morons
 
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