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Your Starter for 10 said:
I watched 5 minutes of Heretic, and dropped it. Couldn't take a single more line of the two annoying, utterly unconvincing, inane, stupid, completely irritating cunts spewing retarded try-hard lines at each other. I would've liked to have seen Hugh Grant show up, but suffering through another minute of that movie would've made the Cenobites feel bad for me.

If someone tells me it's a false opening and the two chicks die immediately and are replaced by believable, likeable chicks, I'll give it another shot; until then though, this movie can fuck right off.

0/5 stars. I regret the 5 minutes I invested and anyone who enjoyed it should kill themselves.
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It's one of those movies where all the characters sound like the writer talking to himself. The opening is just him going "HURR DURR, WE'RE DUMB MORMONS, DURRRRR" with sock puppets. When he needs the girls to provide a counterpoint to things that Hugh Grant says, or to explain the plot, they are much smarter and more articulate.
 
@MrGodSlave
The woke parts of 28 days later would definitely be the black girlboss, cliche evil white men, and the allusions to slavery in Britain which doesn't really make sense considering it's not America. These woke tropes don't destroy the movie, and infact are kind of ignored by the end, but I definitely did notice them while I was watching it. It happens for a lot of old movies I rewatch now. I notice elements I didn't before.
 
Watched 28 Years Later and yeah, I agree with a lot of what people have complained about it.

The first 1/3 with the father and son rite of passage expedition was great. It was suspenseful and the infected felt like a real threat. Minor thing but I also liked the red tinted night vision shots, they just looked dope.

The final 2/3 of it, jesus christ what the fuck happened? The Swedish military that served no fucking purpose, the baby from the infected mother, the bone totem doctor, the Jimmy Savile power rangers ending. I looked over at the person I was watching it with and we both raised an eyebrow when the credits rolled.

I was also willing to suspend my disbelief with the whole thing about there still being small bands of emaciated infected around after 28 years when the first and second film establish that the infected had started to die off of starvation, but the fat infected that eat worms in this one were just kind of stupid.
 
I never cared for 28 Days Later. It's mostly just "okay" until they get to the stuff with the soldiers who have all gone looney in less than a month, because at that point the movie goes full retard. There's not a lot of tension in the movie, either, because it's pretty obvious who the expendable character is of the 4 main characters.

28 Weeks Later smartly introduced the concept of the infected dying off from starvation, and is a much more tense movie overall. The opening scene alone is better than anything in 28 Days Later. The closing scene of the infected reaching Paris was a good setup for another sequel.

Naturally, 28 Years Later retcons 28 Weeks Later and looks like a goofy pile of shit. I'm not in any rush to see it.
 
Wax said:
Watched 28 Years Later and yeah, I agree with a lot of what people have complained about it.

The first 1/3 with the father and son rite of passage expedition was great. It was suspenseful and the infected felt like a real threat. Minor thing but I also liked the red tinted night vision shots, they just looked dope.

The final 2/3 of it, jesus christ what the fuck happened? The Swedish military that served no fucking purpose, the baby from the infected mother, the bone totem doctor, the Jimmy Savile power rangers ending. I looked over at the person I was watching it with and we both raised an eyebrow when the credits rolled.

I was also willing to suspend my disbelief with the whole thing about there still being small bands of emaciated infected around after 28 years when the first and second film establish that the infected had started to die off of starvation, but the fat infected that eat worms in this one were just kind of stupid.
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I'm mostly in agreement with you. The first 30 minutes are really good, it's setup to be a decent movie, the characters are great, environment is good, the infected are a highlight. There was a question of how exactly the deer could flourish when infected have now put them on the menu, but I was willing to suspend my belief on it. Couldn't get much better....

...and it tumbles downhill from there. Whilst I can understand the mind of a kid being stupid, it was infuriating to watch. Setting fire to the camp to abscond with your absent-minded mum, causing their endangerment and leaving the gates open? Fucking excommunicado that bitch under pain of death. I felt like the doctor-mum story was the wrong path to take, putting the dad actor out of commission until the very end was disappointing considering how well the start was.

The movie left a lot of unanswered questions about the infected rather than resolving them. Do they only eat when they're hungry? If not, how could the deer possibly multiply when a highly aggressive and invasive population attacks them? Do they ever get tired physically? What is the point of them giving birth to babies? Would they somehow raise this child to maturity and coexist with it? Or would they do what is naturally expected and eat it post-birth? Why is the doctor keeping this alpha alive when killing it might disorganise the infected and make them less predatory? Why the fuck don't they just kill it the second time?

There is more to say about it but I'm strapped for time. Suffice it to say it was an overall disappointment and I have no faith its sequels will be any better. A total ball fumble before the catcher shat themselves on camera.
 
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Wax said:
The final 2/3 of it, jesus christ what the fuck happened? The Swedish military that served no fucking purpose, the baby from the infected mother, the bone totem doctor, the Jimmy Savile power rangers ending. I looked over at the person I was watching it with and we both raised an eyebrow when the credits rolled
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I just saw the movie and I have a lot to say. The moment they throw the Dad under the bus and make him an irredeemable ass hole, the movie becomes shit. I can tell you exactly what happened.


1. The writer googled Memento Mori once and instantly got a raging hard on.

2. The writer isn't nearly as good as they think they are and so we get a lot of pretentious fapping about life and death.

3. Add a sprinkle of writer's barely disguised fetish.

4. Cover with a splash of Zombieland to end the movie

There's 28 Years Later in a nutshell. Spoilers ahead.

I have a theory that this was originally an anthology in an earlier cut of the script. That's why it feels so segmented. They tried to tie these altogether afterwards and that's why nothing flows together. They're jamming square pegs into round holes to fit stories that were never meant to have any link together. Spoilers ahead.

The first 30 minutes really feels like it's own standalone film and the climax of that portion is so grandiose, you really think that's the ending of the movie. The second portion with the mother feels so separate from the first thirty minutes, it might as well be another story. I think the movie was further along as an anthology too before the decision was made to unite the stories. The mother has flashbacks of the Dad but we never see his face in them despite knowing what he looks like. The kid barely talks about him after the first 30 minutes too. Sure, he has no reason to talk about him fondly, but it is strange. It feels like they had to jump through hoops to link this story together.

The mother already suspecting she had cancer was just absolutely frustrating. Not only was it incredibly stupid, but fuck this mom. She let this kid drag her through hordes of zombies and risk his life in a desperate attempt to save her when she already knew it was a futile attempt anyway. She put his life in an astounding amount of danger for absolutely nothing. Fuck you movie, you can't just hand wave that away because she's delirious. There was an entire community of people that could've told him. Sure, they didn't expect him to go AWOL like he did, but somebody could've mentioned SOMETHING to him. There's very much a moment where she's conscious enough to tell him about this, but she frigging chooses not to. If you needed the movie to movie, just have the mom tell him but the tide comes in early and let the kid drag the mother on anyway because he's desperate and stubborn. Heck, it'd even give more credence to that Memento Mori bullshit because he tried to defy death knowing it was inevitable anyway. It'd make his ultimate realization this was hopeless hit a lot harder and make her choice to let the doctor euthanize her much more justified.

The zombie baby will never not be bizarre. Especially since it ultimately amounts to nothing. It's just for the director to jerk off this life and death bullshit even more. If there's something you don't do in a zombie movie, it's Zombie Baby. There should probably be a rule on that somewhere. Making us all watch it give birth is disgusting and unnecessary. It's hilarious when the zombie mom tries to kill them. It's hilarious the soldier kid blows her to shreds.

Wax said:
The Swedish military that served no fucking purpose
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That was purely for continuity porn. There's a lot of holes in the story and I guess they didn't want to completely discard the rest of the world and establish that there are places that are normal now. The kid asking what was wrong with his girlfriend did get a chuckle out of me and the rest of the theater. He moved the story forward.

Wax said:
the Jimmy Savile power rangers ending
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It's funny you mention Power Rangers. I'll take any chance to sperg about Power Rangers and I noticed something funny.

In the beginning of the movie, the kid is playing with a Red Ranger action figure. Now sure, it could just be a prop and they grabbed whatever they had, but I like to play the "Everything is intentional" game with movies. I thought at first this was supposed to be a Power Rangers RPM figure. This would've been a little clever nod. Power Rangers RPM is a post apocalyptic series where all of humanity is wiped out and the city they live in is the literal last bastion for the human species. There are no humans other than this one colony. Which would fit perfect for a zombie movie. I thought this was intentional by the director.

However, I later realized this was actually a figure from Operation Overdrive, the season previous to RPM and the two costumes are just similar. Sure, they just could grab any old toy but why one from 20 years ago when there's recent Power Rangers toys they could grab? Was it really easier to grab an old toy that's nearly two decades old than just going to the store and picking one up? If they're going to be that diehard about continuity, Operation Overdrive wouldn't exist in this world anyway because it would've filmed AFTER 28 Days Later took place. At least an RPM figure makes thematic sense even if it was made later. I'm going with they thought it was an RPM figure and just got it wrong because that's pretty funny to me. Even if their point was to just get an old toy, they still got it wrong.

They should fire the prop guy.
 
XYZpdq Jr. said:
the 80s Invaders From Mars's prop guy was totally whipping out his toku nerd dick
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Someone on that set, maybe Alex Garland, HAS to be a fan of Power Rangers. There's no way you film that fight scene like that. The whole team assembling and jumping off a cliff together is something they do all the time. They constantly film action scenes at upwards angles to help get the full action in the frame. The shot, hit, quick jump cut to next fighter style of filming team up action scenes is practically trademarked to Sentai/Power Rangers at this point. It doesn't help that they have Jack O Connell look like an extra from Power Rangers too. Particularly Mick, from Ninja Steel.

I also read an interview where Garland does confirm they pasted together like 3 scripts. Jimmy was a last minute addition on the beginning and end to break things up and keep things from being too cliche.
 
Next movie twist: merry band of nonces is led by actual Jimmy Savile, alive and kicking, 104 years young adrenochrome enjoyer. They're on a mission to molest every living (and dead) thing on their fucking trash island.
Then Norwegians nuke it to avenge Eric. The end.
 
Party Hat Wurmple said:
Someone on that set, maybe Alex Garland, HAS to be a fan of Power Rangers. There's no way you film that fight scene like that. The whole team assembling and jumping off a cliff together is something they do all the time. They constantly film action scenes at upwards angles to help get the full action in the frame. The shot, hit, quick jump cut to next fighter style of filming team up action scenes is practically trademarked to Sentai/Power Rangers at this point. It doesn't help that they have Jack O Connell look like an extra from Power Rangers too. Particularly Mick, from Ninja Steel.

I also read an interview where Garland does confirm they pasted together like 3 scripts. Jimmy was a last minute addition on the beginning and end to break things up and keep things from being too cliche.
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now I want infected making putty noises
 
Party Hat Wurmple said:
It's hilarious the soldier kid blows her to shreds.
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I thought it was odd how the boy goes - in the space of two days - from crying about a butchered body hanging from the ceiling with a bag on its head, to being absolutely fucking nonchalant about Eric being decapitated and his head being carried around. The guy saved you, and now his head's being carried around like a trinket, a trophy to be placed upon the pile, no commiserations - what a bunch of nice people you are.

I thought in the moment it was weird that the alpha was chasing them down while still holding the head, but evidently it was so the plot could use it for the bone temple - the one that may or may not have resulted in piles of flesh being washed into the nearby river as he cleans them off. Because you know, drinking water's not that important or anything.
 
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That Chris Guy said:
I thought it was odd how the boy goes - in the space of two days - from crying about a butchered body hanging from the ceiling with a bag on its head, to being absolutely fucking nonchalant about Eric being decapitated and his head being carried around.
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Decisions like this are why this movie is so baffling. It can be a good movie, maybe even a great movie with some particular dialogue changes. Heck, it'd be a damn good movie if you made one big change. But you can make simple dialogue changes and keep everything intact or make it at least a little more digestible.

For example, in the scene after the kid catches the Dad cheating, just have the Dad tell the kid during their argument "Your mother is going to die. Very soon. And there's nothing you, me, or anyone else can do about it. There is no medicine or cure that can save her." Or just tell him that she has cancer. Then, have the scene resume as normal. Bam, the kid knows the quest for the doctor is futile, he just ignores the warning out of wanting a solution. It fixes half the problems with this movie.

And cut the fucking birthing scene, holy mother of God. You can just have the zombie mom passed out in the seat holding a baby, implied she just gave birth if you're completely hellbent on making the zombie baby a thing. It's really not necessary. I'm convinced this was just a fetish thing for the writer.

The only other thing I'd take out is the exploding gas station. Just have Eric clear them out with shots. That was incredibly stupid. You can even leave the stupid ending and these small dialogue changes would fix 60% of the movie's problems. Although the best change would be just killing the Dad, but I'm not getting into that many changes.
 
Party Hat Wurmple said:
Decisions like this are why this movie is so baffling. It can be a good movie, maybe even a great movie with some particular dialogue changes. Heck, it'd be a damn good movie if you made one big change. But you can make simple dialogue changes and keep everything intact or make it at least a little more digestible.

For example, in the scene after the kid catches the Dad cheating, just have the Dad tell the kid during their argument "Your mother is going to die. Very soon. And there's nothing you, me, or anyone else can do about it. There is no medicine or cure that can save her." Or just tell him that she has cancer. Then, have the scene resume as normal. Bam, the kid knows the quest for the doctor is futile, he just ignores the warning out of wanting a solution. It fixes half the problems with this movie.

And cut the fucking birthing scene, holy mother of God. You can just have the zombie mom passed out in the seat holding a baby, implied she just gave birth if you're completely hellbent on making the zombie baby a thing. It's really not necessary. I'm convinced this was just a fetish thing for the writer.

The only other thing I'd take out is the exploding gas station. Just have Eric clear them out with shots. That was incredibly stupid. You can even leave the stupid ending and these small dialogue changes would fix 60% of the movie's problems. Although the best change would be just killing the Dad, but I'm not getting into that many changes.
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It would be better if that nugget of information had been dropped earlier by the Dad, which is why I felt that arc wasn't the best one to pursue. At the time of viewing, I was thinking that the Doctor explaining cancer to the boy would've helped along that moment, since they're sitting there without a clue in the world of what it means. I'm surprised Doc didn't have much to say about its history given his penchant for jacking off to Memento Mori.

As for the birthing, I didn't like it, and there were problems besides the delivery itself. You have the mother being lost in the moment and fascinated by it when infected could come barreling in at any moment to investigate the screams. It took me right out of the moment that these people just sit idly by while a creature that would tear their throat out in a fit of rage if allowed to, is temporarily incapacitated while it drops a baby. This thing is your predator and it shares no cognitive reasoning, though they made it even more retarded by interlocking hands with the goddamn thing. It was like some symbolic fart-sniffing where they want to convey that birthing a baby transcends all walks of life, Rage Virus be damned.

Still, I guess I shouldn't expect much from them since the Doctor doesn't know that water is dangerous to newborn babies, and I'm not sure where they found milk to feed this baby for the 3-4 days it took them to reach the village.

I can't be a total grump though. The cinematography was nice, and I've told others that mileage may vary on what you think of the ending. It depends on how much you enjoy pulp.

Kind of worried this is going to go the way of Star Wars though, where the first one's on rocky ground but people like it, the second destroys everything through Nia DeCosta's incompetence, and the third kinda just pisses on what's left, says "fuck you" and saunters off into the sunset.
 
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I very much prefer Tim Curry's Pennywise over Bill's for a simple reason and its ironically not related much to the nature of It, the character.

I think the Georgie scene is the best way to illustrate the point, there was a certain level of charisma and realism to his behavior. Bill's version is the definition of trying too hard to lean towards It's scary alien nature (which to his credit, he is able to portray that side of It pretty well) but I was never able to see Bill as anything less than an obvious alien monster, but Tim was able to convince you that is a man in a clown make up trying to lure children in.

The Miniseries's version does have creepier tone when you see that even if this clown wasnt some sort of disguised monster, he is still a creepy grown adult dressed as a clown to lure children with the promise of baloons and cotton candy.
"Im not supposed to talk with strangers"
"Very wise of your dad, Georgie, very wise indeed. I am Pennywise, the dancing clown! You are Georgie. Now we know each other. Correct?!"

Even the way Tim speaks is straight out of what you'd expect a pedophile to tell a little kid to lure him closer. Even the way he stares when he says "oh yes...they float, Georgie. They float." and "And when you are down here with me, YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!" just have this human predator vibe when their target fell for the bait.

I know Bill's Pennywise is scarier in a narrative manner because of his alien malicious nature but Tim's is scarier because he legit doesnt look like some monster that could only exist in the mind of a writer high off half the world's supply of cocaine but a local pedophile just waiting the right moment to lure a child on their own under the promise of fun and candy.
 
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The handsome tard said:
I very much prefer Tim Curry's Pennywise over Bill's for a simple reason and its ironically not related much to the nature of It, the character.

I think the Georgie scene is the best way to illustrate the point, there was a certain level of charisma and realism to his behavior. Bill's version is the definition of trying too hard to lean towards It's scary alien nature (which to his credit, he is able to portray that side of It pretty well) but I was never able to see Bill as anything less than an obvious alien monster, but Tim was able to convince you that is a man in a clown make up trying to lure children in.

The Miniseries's version of the series does have creepier tone when you see that even if this clown wasnt some sort of disguised monster, he is still a creepy grown adult dressed as a clown to lure children with the promise of baloons and cotton candy.
"Im not supposed to talk with strangers"
"Very wise of your dad, Georgie, very wise indeed. I am Pennywise, the dancing clown! You are Georgie. Now we know each other. Correct?!"

Even the way Tim speaks is straight out of what you'd expect a pedophile to tell a little kid to lure him closer. Even the way he stares when he says "oh yes...they float, Georgie. They float." and "And when you are down here with me, YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!" just have this human predator vibe when their target fell for the bait.

I know Bill's Pennywise is scarier in a narrative manner because of his alien malicious nature but Tim's is scarier because he legit doesnt look like some monster that could only exist in the mind of a writer high off half the world's supply of cocaine but a local pedophile just waiting the right moment to lure a child on their own under the promise of fun and candy.
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The book is able to give hints to the readers that there is something wrong with Pennywise in a way a movie can't. Detailed descriptions that point out oddities that wouldn't be noticed by a normal person are used to tell the reader something is off with Pennywise, also having internal dialog with Pennywise helps too. You can't do that in a movie really with out it being odd, so the way they did Pennywise in the miniseries is, I think, one of the best ways to get that across. You have the character act like a pedophile and it tells the audience "this is a child predator of some kind."

I know the look of Pennywise was closer to the book in the remake, but I prefer Tim Curry's look more. It looks like a normal clown, and that would be easier for Pennywise to lure kids in if he looked like a normal clown. One of the things I remember from the book (I could be wrong, it's been over 30 years since I read it) was, when the kids saw Pennywise they said he looks like a combination of Bozo and Ronald Mc Donald, and I always got the impression that the kids thought it was odd that this clown looked like a combination of the two most famous clowns at the time. I don't know, I just think for a monster to hide itself it would make more sense to look like a generic party clown and not something so specific.
 
The handsome tard said:
I very much prefer Tim Curry's Pennywise over Bill's for a simple reason and its ironically not related much to the nature of It, the character.

I think the Georgie scene is the best way to illustrate the point, there was a certain level of charisma and realism to his behavior. Bill's version is the definition of trying too hard to lean towards It's scary alien nature (which to his credit, he is able to portray that side of It pretty well) but I was never able to see Bill as anything less than an obvious alien monster, but Tim was able to convince you that is a man in a clown make up trying to lure children in.

The Miniseries's version of the series does have creepier tone when you see that even if this clown wasnt some sort of disguised monster, he is still a creepy grown adult dressed as a clown to lure children with the promise of baloons and cotton candy.
"Im not supposed to talk with strangers"
"Very wise of your dad, Georgie, very wise indeed. I am Pennywise, the dancing clown! You are Georgie. Now we know each other. Correct?!"

Even the way Tim speaks is straight out of what you'd expect a pedophile to tell a little kid to lure him closer. Even the way he stares when he says "oh yes...they float, Georgie. They float." and "And when you are down here with me, YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!" just have this human predator vibe when their target fell for the bait.

I know Bill's Pennywise is scarier in a narrative manner because of his alien malicious nature but Tim's is scarier because he legit doesnt look like some monster that could only exist in the mind of a writer high off half the world's supply of cocaine but a local pedophile just waiting the right moment to lure a child on their own under the promise of fun and candy.
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Even before his scene with Georgie, you have the opener that gives a glimpse of how Tim handle the Pennywise character.

 
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