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Calandrino said:
Plus the Tall Man would solo the Fantastic 4 with prep time
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Not to mention how they'd fare against The Peepee Poopoo Man.

Or M3gan. M3gan would kick their ass because they can't beat up kids.

But it I had to pick just one to go against them, it'd be It Follows. Because you can yiu can only stop it by having straight sex, and that ain't happening with these faggots.
 
Your Starter for 10 said:
Or M3gan. M3gan would kick their ass because they can't beat up kids.
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But the Maker would. /sneed

No wonder these crossovers are kind of unnecessary since it's all based on the writers fantasy.

I blame Marvel Zombies for enhancing the cancer.

12.webp
 
Rewatching 28 Weeks Later, because 28 Years Later on Sunday. I had forgotten how bad it is as a film. Real nonsense plot the whole way through. 28 Days Later though is still pretty good, The Infected though aren't as aggressive as I remember them being, they're mostly active at night, and as long as you stay relatively quiet you should be good. I reckon if I had like, 10 hours notice shit was getting bad I could probably last the full two months just on the second floor of my house.
 
Chunky Salsa said:
Rewatching 28 Weeks Later, because 28 Years Later on Sunday. I had forgotten how bad it is as a film. Real nonsense plot the whole way through. 28 Days Later though is still pretty good, The Infected though aren't as aggressive as I remember them being, they're mostly active at night, and as long as you stay relatively quiet you should be good. I reckon if I had like, 10 hours notice shit was getting bad I could probably last the full two months just on the second floor of my house.
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The original plot point of infected starving might provide a light at the end of the tunnel, but that's months of hiding and praying that they don't smell your shit corner. We've seen numerous fortified two-story residences fall to infected, pulling up a ladder doesn't really stop them smashing boards or from scaling things the same way you would if you really wanted to get somewhere. The only reason they don't find the father and son hiding in the newest one is because they weren't seen or heard directly up in the attic, which isn't sustainable.

A drop of blood in your body is all it takes, killing them sprays blood and draws more. It's a cascading chain of events that routinely overwhelms dozens of prepared and armed people, much less one guy shivering in a hole. They come tackling through windows in response to the most minute sound and beat you senseless while vomiting in all directions. How do you fight that without plot armor? How can you never make a mistake with noise discipline? Even with starvation, you'd have infected who would've been turned more recently or were fat enough to last longer.

Someone might be able to white-knuckle a few weeks in a crawlspace with fat reserves or rationed food, but that's assuming they know rescue is coming. Everyone else is faced with the reality that they're on their own and being violently hunted. Suicide would be as endemic as infection, look at entire villages killing themselves in WW2 as they saw certain suffering and death coming for them. I haven't seen 28 weeks in a while, but I remember it being notable that the mother is recovered alive because NATO hadn't found anyone else on the mainland for an extended amount of time. Hiding out didn't work for most people, the colonists are mostly expatriates or were evacuated early on and get haplessly slaughtered because of it. The "rescue" and recolonization efforts were more harm than good anyway.

Boats would be the best route, but I think it's implied the cordon sanitaire bombs anything that tries to hold water. Maybe if you stayed inland on rivers you'd be OK until someone tried to kill you for the raft. Obese NEETs would have the best chances of survival per original starvation lore IMO (big win for obese UK NEETs in 2002), but everyone in the quarantine is doomed regardless if/when society stabilized and became content to let them subsist alongside evolved infected. Survival would hinge on knowing something valuable enough to secure a spot inside a community and not get volunteered to go out, but you're still living in sub-third world conditions indefinitely and relying on arbitrary luck for survival. Either of us would be An Hero inside of five months, easy.
 
kindwater said:
We've seen numerous fortified two-story residences fall to infected
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I haven't seen 28 years yet, so I can only go off Days and Weeks. The infected in that only really were active at night, they didn't come in these huge massed swarms except at the very start of the outbreak. (probably because most of them died from dehydration inside of a week) Pulling up the ladder very much did work for Jacob in the opening of Weeks; and 'go somewhere high and keep the single entrance sealed' worked fine for the family in Days until they wanted to leave. The infected really are not intelligent, at all. They can just about manage the basic association of 'Thing I was chasing is gone, this house is the only thing around, he's in the house'. Even then though, it still took a dipshit taking down a part of the barricade and looking directly at an infected for the attack to properly start. Jim walked around London screaming his head off, and lasted a full day doing that.

My house is an old victorian one; with the second floor like 15 feet from the ground floor. Unless the infected become spiderman, or can manage a 15 foot standing jump, just smashing my stairs apart with a sledgehammer would keep them out of my hair. I can manage 3 months of canned food, bottled water and shitting in a bucket and launching it from my window. That is of course if I'm given time to prepare and an awareness of what's coming. Otherwise I'd probably just board up my windows and die.

Though you do raise a good point about plot armour. Without it, even with a perfect understanding of what's coming: I'd probably get an infection and die, or get rats in my food supply and die, or eat some bad food and die, or one of the many random fires spreads to my house and I die, or NATO just shoots me; and I die. Or I get depressed at my entire world ending and kill myself (thus dying). Jims parents were probably the fate of a lot of people, just suicide at home when they realised no help was coming yeah.

EDIT: As an aside, parts of Black Summer are very good, and fill the itch of zombies without having them becoming meat targets for the protagonists to casually wipe out.

EDIT2; Oh no I live near a chimp sanctuary I'm fucking dead. I'd have an infected chimp come through my ceiling at 2am and eat my face.
 
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I just watched 28 days later for the first time (only watched 28 weeks later) in preparation for 28 years later, and I have to say, it was pretty good but vastly overrated. The first half was interesting with how Jim struggled to survive in the new world he was in, but the second half was very cliche with how Jim turned into a slasher and btfo all the soldiers despite having no combat experience of his own. Plus, there were a lot of proto woke elements in it funnily enough I don't see most people mention. 28 weeks later had a more realistic apocalypse than this with a bleaker ending to boot. Which is funny because I see so many people say that 28 days later had a much more darker and bigger bodycount than weeks meanwhile Jim and company survive the movie in a fucking happy ending with the music playing and them jumping in joy at the plane.
7/10.
 
For anyone who hasn't watched 28 Years Later yet, I would like you to participate in an experiment:

Watch 28 Days Later. Then watch Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds and Feast 3: The Happy Finish. Then watch 28 Years Later. Tell me which one it most resembles in your opinion.
 
umseriously said:
I just watched 28 days later for the first time (only watched 28 weeks later) in preparation for 28 years later, and I have to say, it was pretty good but vastly overrated. The first half was interesting with how Jim struggled to survive in the new world he was in, but the second half was very cliche with how Jim turned into a slasher and btfo all the soldiers despite having no combat experience of his own. Plus, there were a lot of proto woke elements in it funnily enough I don't see most people mention. 28 weeks later had a more realistic apocalypse than this with a bleaker ending to boot. Which is funny because I see so many people say that 28 days later had a much more darker and bigger bodycount than weeks meanwhile Jim and company survive the movie in a fucking happy ending with the music playing and them jumping in joy at the plane.
7/10.
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I wouldn't say it is overrated; it was just so refreshing at the time from the B-movie comedy fodder they'd been reduced to, but the flaws are definitely overlooked. The tunnel sequence was stupid on a logical and practical level. Jim barely protests and Selena says nothing, then they scale a massive mound of car wreckage in that little cab, causing an issue that nearly got them all killed.

I don't know what Jim was planning to do if more than two soldiers came to investigate the alarm he sounded, or if the two who did come exercised a modicum of military training, also what his plan was if the black infected he released simply tore Selena and Hannah apart? Was crafting H.E.L.L.O. in fabric necessary when S.O.S. would suffice?

28 weeks fucked me up more to see the main guy brutally murder his wife as she is tied to the table after surviving months on her own. It was goofy he was ended up stalking the kids through the city, but the way he killed was such a confronting visual. Bashing Rose Byrnes face in with the extinguisher. Digging his fingers into the eye sockets of his wife hit harder than Jim doing it to the maniacal rapist.

What proto-woke parts did you notice?
 
MrGodSlave said:
What proto-woke parts did you notice?
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The shoehorned negress girl-boss, the "real" monsters are the toxicly masculine white guys (who are simultaneously super uber-dangerous, and also incompetent cowards). Just guessing, though, it's not me you're asking.
 
Some folks on Freakin Awesome Network had some choice words
Regarding the ending. They felt that gang at the end looked like Jimmy Saville stand ins and it made them feel cringe.
 
RT sez: 90% critics liked, 66% of audience liked

So I thought I'd sit it out for now. See you in 2030 when people are complaining that the third part completely ruins the first two.
 
Calandrino said:
RT sez: 90% critics liked, 66% of audience liked

So I thought I'd sit it out for now. See you in 2030 when people are complaining that the third part completely ruins the first two.
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Gee I wonder if this will end up like Blumhouse Halloween where the first entry was praised by critics and audiences only for the rest of the trilogy to go down hill.
 
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I have to ramble about 28 Years Later. Thoughts in no order, feel free to ignore:

  • The premise is so fucking flawed. How are we meant to believe that there are still infected after 28 years when survivors were all-but wiped out within 28 days? That would necessitate either 1. pockets of survivors breeding at incredible rates (retarded), 2. an influx of survivors from the outside world (retarded), or 3. rabid leprous blood-vomiting rage zombies not only retaining a biological drive to breed but also the ability to carry children to term and care for them in infancy (extremely fucking retarded). On top of that,
  • even if you choose to do some mental gymnastics about the end of 28 Days not being indicative of the lifespan of infected or how long it takes them to starve to death or whatever, one of the symptoms we're repeatedly consistently shown of the infection is people vomiting blood, profusely and immediately. How do you reconcile ebola-like symptoms with a fucking three decade lifespan or whatever? Retarded.
  • Why are there fat zombies. I could harp on this all day but anybody with a functional understanding of thermodynamics innately understands why this is retarded. And the idea that they get fat by crawling around eating worms, as though we wouldn't all be doing that if it was a viable evolutionary route. Retarded. And why does one run away? It's all so dumb.
  • Why are all the zombies fucking naked?
  • The cold-open with violence and faith played as a joke is such a tonal shift from the source material and the first thing that put the Feast comparison in my brain. I almost walked out before the title card. In the moment I thought you could probably cut that and salvage the movie, now I'm 50-50 on whether the rest of the movie is worth salvaging.
  • The fucking killcams. I saw the house scene before release and it was already a red flag but holy shit it's so like... juvenile. The whole first day out feels like COD or something. When we get the reveal that Aaron Taylor Johnson is a piece of shit and a liar I thought maybe this was like an intentional stylistic decision, like portraying the kid's rose-colored starry eyed imagined naive innocent youth as an over-the-top fun juvenile COD game, and then after the death of innocence it would turn into real shit to contrast. But no it just stays stupid.
  • So much exposition dialogue. It could all be cut and the movie would be better for it. Show the tide covering the causeway instead of explaining it. Show the patrol boat turning away from the island (or sinking) instead of explaining it. Show the logged woods, let the audience infer where the supplies come from, fuck sake it feels like we're hearing the writing room pitch for the setting instead of the finished depiction. Bad.
  • Aaron Taylor Johnson is just Kraven again and it's stupid. Like I mentioned above I thought maybe this was supposed to be an unreliable narration thing, like this is the kid's idea of what his dad is like and not actually what his dad is like, but we have no reason to believe that, it's just trash.
  • "Alphas". Fucking stupid. It's stupid to call them that and using a character to lampshade how stupid it is to call them that later in the film doesn't make it less stupid it makes it twice as stupid. It's stupid that they exist, it's stupid that they try to explain how/why they exist, it's stupid that they rip heads off, it's just fucking dogshit and point number two in the Feast column. And once again why are they fucking naked? When there was one flaccid dick in the original I didn't think too much of it, now it's just a fetish.
  • A while back me and a few friends were having a Bad Movie Night and my friend showed us a Fast-And-The-Furious style motorcycle movie I can't remember the name of -- Torque, it was Torque. Anyway throughout the whole movie I just kept getting this feeling from the cinematography, I said to my friends "This feels like a music video." Well halfway through the movie I looked up the production credits and it was the feature film debut of a director who had only ever directed music videos before. I got the exact same feeling watching 28 Years Later, and neither the director nor the cinematographer have any excuse this time. This shit looks like an As I Lay Dying video the whole way through and that is not what I signed up for.
  • Man what genre is this movie? Because it's not horror. The cold-open is a comedy, then it oscillates between coming-of-age and adventure and action and then it turns into some emotional parable about death and grief and love and just... what? And then it reverts back to action adventure coming of age and then it's a comedy again. If I had any faith in the writing at all I'd think maybe it's an exploration of the layers of affect we don like armor over our vulnerable human core but that's way too heady for this turd.
  • I was going to complain about the soldiers wearing plate carriers and helmets to an island populated by zombies who don't use weapons because that's a foolproof recipe for zombies wearing plate carriers and helmets, but it's explained that they weren't meant to be there and didn't know what they were doing so it's whatever. Still, that feels like a chekov's gun, like if you're going to show soldiers in bulletproof gear getting turned into zombies then that should be something that comes up again at some point. Would have been cool idk.
  • Oh yeah the fucking mom helping a pregnant zombie deliver a baby holy shit. The bonds of human connection and experience shining through a mind clouded by rage. And then the implication that the paki "alpha" is the father and thinks and loves and cares. Suck me entirely off this movie is dogshit.
  • Also that whole shot where the swede is threatening to shoot them is so fucking telegraphed, any time you see somebody with their back to a doorway like that, centered in the shot completely obscuring what might be behind them, it's just so tired. There were more than a few cliches like that but this one just had me rolling my eyes.
  • I'm not even going to get into the portrayal of the mom's dementia and how conveniently it waxes and wanes and how she freaks out about nothing but doesn't freak out at the fucking apocalypse, whatever, it's just shit writing.
  • We all saw the ending. Go watch the Feast sequels and tell me this isn't a Feast movie.

I knew it was going to suck but I didn't think it was going to suck so aggressively. Such a bizarre mix of 28 Days Later, The Last Of Us, Tomb Raider 2013, The Forest, The Road, Kraven, Feast 2, Where The Wild Things Are and As I Lay Dying music videos. I think you could salvage a working movie out of this in the edit if you cut the cold open, cut the ending, cut the dumbass killcams and camera fuckery, and cut most of the expository dialogue, and just let the jimmy references hang as unexplained worldbuilding, but it still wouldn't fit in the same universe as the original.

At this point I'm developing a genuine belief in the conspiracy theory that Hollywood is forcing directors to do humiliation rituals if they make movies that are beloved by the wrong people, like Joker and The Northman; or that this is an attempt to poison lolberts/paleo-conservatives/the cottagecore crowd by making their idealized life look really fucking gay and retarded. But I'm probably just schizo and Boyle is just George Lucasing. Either way it's shit, the end.
 
They should have just kept the ending of 28 Weeks Later where the infection spreads to the rest of Europe and presumably the rest of the world. Then the post-apocalyptic setting (clearly aping The Walking Dead) would make sense. I also liked that Weeks introduced the idea that the infected will eventually starve to death which makes the situation just that much more plausible.
 
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