/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

[Vampirella]

The closest I can think of is Fido, an underrated zombie movie set in the 1950s where zombies are just slaves.

I like that one. It was something a little different at the time.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Does anyone here like House(1985)? I don't see it get brought up a lot but when I was a kid that scene with the monster in the closet freaked me out. The mirror world was also pretty dope.

It's a weird franchise that should never have been a thing but became a thing because video was huge and everyone was flooding the market with sequels destined for video.

The first movie is "okay." Nothing too special but it has George Wendt in it and he always elevates whatever's he is in by at least 1 notch.

The second movie is pretty bat shit on paper but in execution it's not very good. Very 80's is all you could say about it. If it went for the gore or more elaborate creature effects like the first movie that would have been something but it's PG-13. I did have the comic book adaptation and that was a little better because it didn't focus on all the comedy.

House 3 is essentially a knock-off of Wes Craven's Shocker but with Lance Henriksen. It's more notable for the fact that it had an alternate title for the theatrical release, The Horror Show, but returned the House 3 name overseas but when it was released on video it went back to the House 3 title. The only other time I can think of that happening is Omen 3: Final Conflict which was released theatrically as Final Conflict but the video release added the Omen 3 title.

House 4 is totally generic but has one of the most odd scenes for a mainstream horror film at the time where two guys assassinate this chick's husband with an RPG. I just remember that moment as a kid.

 

[Vampirella]

House 4 is totally generic but has one of the most odd scenes for a mainstream horror film at the time where two guys assassinate this chick's husband with an RPG. I just remember that moment as a kid.

I remember that one. I caught it on TV way back in the day. The only scene I remember was the main bad guy was a chain smoking midget that had a machine that sucked that tar or some shit out of his lungs, and one of his lackeies fucked up so he made the lackey drink the lung tar.

Hey look, I found the whole movie and I'm going to link it here at that part.

Enjoy.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

It's amazing how some "remasters"/transfers can hurt a movie. I put on Pulse (2001) a couple days ago for background noise and that somewhat overhyped but still really effective scene comes up of the girl walking towards the guy in the hall.
She's supposed to be in the shadows, hidden, barely seen. Which gives her movements an uncanny, disturbing quality.

Well, here's how it looked on Tubi.

Bro...

 

[Karamanlis]

Watched Dead & Buried recently.
And... meh?
It's decent. Solid 7 or 8/10

A movie that is just "decent" somehow warrants a 7 or 8/10 rating? Huh?

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

A movie that is just "decent" somehow warrants a 7 or 8/10 rating? Huh?

Yeah of course.
5 is middling/mediocre. Not something you actively dislike but not something you really had a reaction to.
6 is passively enjoyable or had potential but does enough to disservice itself from a great delivery.
7/8 to me is something you enjoyed a good deal or thought made for a good/great watch.
9 is a mini-classic.
10 is an alltime classic.

I always thought that was the general ranking? You can still give something a 7/8 without absolutely loving it.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Yeah of course.
5 is middling/mediocre. Not something you actively dislike but not something you really had a reaction to.
6 is passively enjoyable or had potential but does enough to disservice itself from a great delivery.
7/8 to me is something you enjoyed a good deal or thought made for a good/great watch.
9 is a mini-classic.
10 is an alltime classic.

I always thought that was the general ranking? You can still give something a 7/8 without absolutely loving it.

I'm the same.

5 is average.
6 is okay, maybe if you're into the subgenre and/or the story or an actor you'd get more out of it than me.
7 is pretty good.
8 is borderline classic. It might have a few flaws preventing it from being objectively great.
9 is great and maybe even a "minor masterpiece" kind of movie.
10 is masterpiece or one of the very best.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I'm the same.

5 is average.
6 is okay, maybe if you're into the subgenre and/or the story or an actor you'd get more out of it than me.
7 is pretty good.
8 is borderline classic. It might have a few flaws preventing it from being objectively great.
9 is great and maybe even a "minor masterpiece" kind of movie.
10 is masterpiece or one of the very best.

I also think it's best to basically divide between your taste and being objective if you're giving a ranking to other people.
There's films I know are classics that basically created genres or are pretty much perfect from a technical standpoint that leave me cold.
Then there's stuff nobody knows about or isn't new or inventive that I still enjoy more than most other stuff.

It's kind of why I get when people rank Shawshank Redemption or something like it high. It didn't do anything new, you don't have to learn about it in school. But it's a personally really great film for a lot of people.
Meanwhile Citizen Kane never did much for me, but I get it's impact.

 

[Karamanlis]

7/8 to me is something you enjoyed a good deal or thought made for a good/great watch.

You didn't sound nearly this enthusiastic about the movie though. I guess we also have different ideas of decent. If I were to describe a movie as decent, I'd mean that it was merely adequate, or just barely satisfactory. "Decent" would be 5-ish territory for me. Anyway, it's unimportant.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

yeah there's a lot of movies that are cromulent enough that I wasn't mad I watched it, but I wouldn't bother to catch it on my own again nor would I recommend it unless somebody was big into whatever weird gimmick
like Bingo Hell
nice enough movie, but if you're not keen on the gimmick of "old people at evil bingo" you'll probably not need to worry about catching it, but you also don't need to flee if it's on

 

[Vampirella]

Then there's stuff nobody knows about or isn't new or inventive that I still enjoy more than most other stuff.

I love the movie Lair of the white worm. It's a stupid film sort of based on the story of the Lambton Worm and a book by Bram Stoker. My personal rating would be a 7, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless I knew they would like a movie that had a scene with Roman solders raping crying nuns while they watch the crucifixion and a giant white snake that may be Satan watches, and has snake women with pointy stone strap ons. Sometimes it's the strangest movies that click.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Sometimes it's the strangest movies that click.

Some of all-time top favorite movies are just ones I go off of vibes.
Let's Scare Jessica To Death, Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural, House by the Cemetery, The Child.

I can't pinpoint anything about them that I can say that makes them must-watches for most people.
But if for some reason you're drunk at 3pm on a rainy Sunday, those movies are the greatest things ever made.

 

[Merry]

I watched The Substance. Excellent body horror, surrealism, and practical effects, some of the best I've ever seen

The messaging was a little cringe though. Yeah we get it, people, even celebrities, get body image problems, especially with age. Dead horse

 

[Oilspill Battery]

I just watched the substance and dear fucking lord that movie was beyond incredible, how is this movie not spoken about more???

Its science fiction, its horror, its personal drama, tightly writen, tightly acted, amazing fucking use of sound, photography, color, insanely good script and screenplay.

I want to call this movie a masterpiece but I don't know what to even begin calling it a masterpiece of, sci fi, horror, drama, it nails so many categories so well its unreal.

We've been treated to garbage so often that when a fantastic piece of pure undiluted cinema like this drops I dont' even know how to react to it.


My only criticism of it would be that the ending is a little bit over the top and feels kinda like a seperate film. I rather liked the ambiguity that parts of it were in her head, and literal monstro showing up in new york was so silly that it kinda ruined the self reflective atmosphere the first two acts had.

When we got to the spray of blood part it felt like i was watching a scary movie sequel. I was really hoping at one point it would cut to it all being a dream or a hallucination or something.

Imo, the movie should have ended either when sue injected the activator and passed out, or earlier when elizabeth tried to switch bodies with the terminated clone, because everything past that is just so silly it makes it hard to take the whole thing seriously and becomes closer to an adam sandler type comedy than what it was before.

If someone tells me that the ending ruined the movie for them, I wouldn't blame them, but I still think its great despite it.

Nevertheless, I'm extremely happy I saw the film, it was truly brilliant and I hope it gets more recognition.

 

[BullfrogBill]

I watched The Substance. Excellent body horror, surrealism, and practical effects, some of the best I've ever seen

The messaging was a little cringe though. Yeah we get it, people, even celebrities, get body image problems, especially with age. Dead horse

Yeah The Substance surprised me with it not completely sucking balls, I enjoyed Dennis Quaid's appearances he seemed like he was having a blast while filming. The biggest issue with it is the messaging like you said. I really hated the whole "women should smile" cringe shit they keep putting in horror movies that plagued Substance. This shit ruined other movies like The Companion for me, instantly takes me out of the movie and can no longer take it seriously. I thought the ending to The Substance sucked too.

I just watched the substance and dear fucking lord that movie was beyond incredible, how is this movie not spoken about more???

I really didn't think it was that good. There have been so many movies and anthology horror segments that play out very similarly to The Substance through the years, to me the stand out of The Substance is the quality of the effects, well most of them. A movie that came out somewhat recently that's not exactly the same as Substance but is similar enough to remind me of it is Infinity Pool, I personally liked that one better, but there's tons of others. The Substance is just too up it's own ass with cringe feminist shit that it really hurts the movie to me.

And tons of people have been talking about The Substance, it was nominated for best picture, a fact that really shocked me. Maybe I shouldn't have been so shocked considering the feminist messaging, but you know the film selection of 2024 is complete trash when stuff like The Substance is nominated for best picture. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for horror movies being nominated for and winning best picture, but The Substance isn't that movie.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I'll basically sum it up as I think The Substance is one of the best horror movies of the last 5 years.
Which means it's pretty much just a pretty good horror film from any other era.

Don't get me wrong, I liked it a lot. I just think my standards for films has gotten so low in the last couple of years anything like The Substance or MaXXXine that reminds me of something made 40 years ago hits the spot better than anything else.

Also anyone who says the ending for The Substance ruins it is a gigantic faggot who doesn't appreciate good fun body horror.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I'll basically sum it up as I think The Substance is one of the best horror movies of the last 5 years.
Which means it's pretty much just a pretty good horror film from any other era.

Don't get me wrong, I liked it a lot. I just think my standards for films has gotten so low in the last couple of years anything like The Substance or MaXXXine that reminds me of something made 40 years ago hits the spot better than anything else.

Also anyone who says the ending for The Substance ruins it is a gigantic faggot who doesn't appreciate good fun body horror.

I thought it was overall very good but not Oscar worthy. It got nominated because the powers that be felt it was Demi Moor's turn. That's pretty much it. 8 out of 10 movie that's a tiny bit overlong.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

8 out of 10 movie that's a tiny bit overlong.

Pretty much. I'd say the length didn't bother me like most stuff now, just because I liked the vibe it was going for. Most 2/3 hour stuff now kills me but for some reason I didn't mind the 5 minute dance routines.
I wouldn't say it deserves an Oscar but I literally don't think anything that came out in 2025 deserved an Oscar. Absolutely dogshit year for film even compared to 24.

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

I thought it was overall very good but not Oscar worthy. It got nominated because the powers that be felt it was Demi Moor's turn. That's pretty much it. 8 out of 10 movie that's a tiny bit overlong.

What I like most about that film is the portrayal of insecurity, even as you age like fine wine, like Elizabeth did. Applies to men, too, but a lot of 50-60 year old women find themselves looking back to when they were 18-28, and wanting to live that again. With geezers, the ages they wish could relive/stay at, are slightly different: it's 25/26/27/28-40. Just the physicality, though. The shallowness about "old bitches" was well done, too.

I agree with your comment, however. Did Margaret Qualley get equal recognition? But then, what do I know, I don't follow awards shit generally.

 

[Oilspill Battery]

really didn't think it was that good. There have been so many movies and anthology horror segments that play out very similarly to The Substance through the years, to me the stand out of The Substance is the quality of the effects, well most of them. A movie that came out somewhat recently that's not exactly the same as Substance but is similar enough to remind me of it is Infinity Pool, I personally liked that one better, but there's tons of others. The Substance is just too up it's own ass with cringe feminist shit that it really hurts the movie to me.

And tons of people have been talking about The Substance, it was nominated for best picture, a fact that really shocked me. Maybe I shouldn't have been so shocked considering the feminist messaging, but you know the film selection of 2024 is complete trash when stuff like The Substance is nominated for best picture. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for horror movies being nominated for and winning best picture, but The Substance isn't that movie.

THe thing that makes the substance stand out for me is that its extremely minimalist and everything in the plot is relevant to the plot. The entire movie more or less takes place in 1 appartment but you don't really notice.

You say that its not the best thing ever, but I think its hard to argue that it is not incredibly tightly writen, sans the ending.