/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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Pitbull Victim said:
Can confirm that Winnie the Pooh is as bad as everyone has said in this thread. Somehow, despite being only 84 minutes with about 7 of those being credits, every scene drags on for twice as long as it should.

There's also a ton of basic continuity errors, one of the most egregious is at the beginning where the voice-over says the animals became feral and stopped talking after Christopher Robin left them, then not five minutes later we get this:

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Winnie the Pooh is also extremely unintimidating and spends the movie mincing around like a big fat gay guy. Even the gore sucks, being mostly terrible CGI blood pasted over bad makeup effects.

The movie follows a trend I've noticed recently where if the opening credits are in a common Microsoft Office font then the movie is going to be absolute dogshit. In the ultimate laziness, they used fucking Times New Roman here.

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The ending is probably the biggest "fuck you" I've seen in some time - not only do they rip off one of the dumbest scenes of Halloween Kills but they have the balls to set up a sequel. The last shots of the movie are no shit just randomly of debris for some reason.

Highlight: The actor who plays Christopher Robin has a speech impediment where he pronounces his "R"s as "W"s which reminded me of Life of Brian.

Scariest Part: The realization about 20 minutes in that 80% of the cast was going to be British women.

Overall: I at least got a few laughs out of Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, this movie was just tedious and annoying. It's been recommended in this thread already, but if you want a good, modern slasher that is surprisingly brutal watch Haunt instead.
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Somehow I doubt the intent of the filmmakers was to make a good movie. I think this was 100% a shit post taking advantage of the current legal use of the character. And hats off to the filmmakers because it worked.
 
I've only seen 2 movies in my life that actually unnerved me:
The first is the original Blair Witch Project (still one of my favorite movies to this day)
The 2nd is a horror film about being trapped in a Sauna. It's called 247 Degrees Farenheit and jesus it's hard to watch.
Every horror movie I've seen is trying too hard. Hereditary was a joke.
 
Flea Man Marbles said:
I've only seen 2 movies in my life that actually unnerved me:
The first is the original Blair Witch Project (still one of my favorite movies to this day)
The 2nd is a horror film about being trapped in a Sauna. It's called 247 Degrees Farenheit and jesus it's hard to watch.
Every horror movie I've seen is trying too hard. Hereditary was a joke.
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That sounds like a challenge to freak you out and force you to watch shit like Martyrs and A Serbian Film.
 
BrunoMattei said:
Somehow I doubt the intent of the filmmakers was to make a good movie. I think this was 100% a shit post taking advantage of the current legal use of the character. And hats off to the filmmakers because it worked.
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Nah the intent is worst. The filmmakers wanted to set up a horror public domain cinematic universe and take themselves extremely seriously.
 
Last Shift was breddy good, as far as I was concerned and I am pretty hyped for Malum.

Devil's just another bitch of the Lord. Rebel angel that was cast out. I am not ashamed. But he is downstairs doing the Lord's work just like the rest of them. Punishing the damned for their sins. That sounds like the Lord's work to me. But the answer is no. We don't pray to him. Devil's been around long before that clipped-wing cocksucker got down there. Who do you think was there before him?
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I saw the new Children of the Corn remake, and while it isn't as terrible as Pooh, it is garbage. Everything just rushes by and it feels like a condensed recap movie of some tv series. Everyone reacts inappropriately to certain situations that really break immersion, and they show "He Who Walks", and it also ends in an extremely shitty jumpscare. The only good thing about this film is the gore and maybe the autistic 12 year old girl being the bad guy, but you're better off watching other things to get that stuff.

Anyway can I ask for recommendations for good horror? Like anything recent or anything good in general.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Anyway can I ask for recommendations for good horror? Like anything recent or anything good in general.
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Some of my favorites:

The Burning (1981)

The Hitcher (1986)

Angel Heart (1987)

Dust Devil (1992)

Frailty (2001)

Kill List (2011)

You're Next (2011)

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Downrange (2017)

The House That Jack Built (2018)
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Anyway can I ask for recommendations for good horror? Like anything recent or anything good in general.
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I guess I'm gonna have to pull up my old, abandoned Letterboxd (because I've abandoned that site since a year ago because it is still a peepee poopoo site) list of my favorite horror movies, which isn't movies I should recommend, because pretty much a lot are just stuff people already have watched, but anyway...
 
I haven’t seen shit lately, but wanted to say hey to the cool kids thread. Also people smiling dead eyed and creepily straight to camera is done to death and we can move on, thanks.

Watching Skinamarink this weekend, fingers crossed.
 
Unpopular horror movie opinion: the 2000s Texas Chainsaw movies are extremely well made, and aside from the shitass acting they are criminally underrated.
 
Tsukasa Kayoda said:
Unpopular horror movie opinion: the 2000s Texas Chainsaw movies are extremely well made, and aside from the shitass acting they are criminally underrated.
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Oh yea, it's one of the more underrated remakes and it's not bad honestly. I'd say Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake is also an underrated 2000s remake gem.
 
I saw 65 yesterday.

It's not great, but I thought it was a decent sci-fi/horror hybrid. It's a pretty simple story, and it's only 1 hour and 33 minutes, so not a lot of fat on it.

One thing I liked is that, unlike in the Jurassic Park franchise, the dinosaurs are never treated with any majesty, wonderment, or sentimentality. They are just terrible monsters the whole way through.

I'd watch this again over those last few shitty Jurassic World movies.
 
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Anyone here dig the movies of Koji Shiraishi?

I rewatched Blair Witch Project the first time since the theater to see if it was as boring as I remembered. I appreciated the characters more but it was not scary and the end was a cop-out. While reading some modern takes, a few people recommended Noroi ("the curse.") Well it's a mockumentary/found footage assemblage of different characters in strange circumstances whose stories converge in the reveal of a malevolent Lovecraftian deity. I thought it was very good and creepy.

Lovecraft's unknowable cosmos is a prominent undercurrent in Shiraishi's movies. Occult portrays the survivor of a brutal attack following his own path to terrorism (thanks to the intercession of some Lovecraftian aliens.) A Record of Sweet Murder is very good, a "one take" movie of a man driven to extremes by the word of god (aka the word of you guessed it, an unknowable god that demands murder for salvation.) The movie starts heavy but there are some tonal shifts that play out with thrills and humor towards the surprising climax.

He's made a couple series, "Super Weird Files," released over a period of years, is about a team of amateur ghost hunters like you see on the discovery channel. But the further things progress everything comes together with labyrinthine construction towards alien conspiracies, time travel, the death dimension, and the literal destruction of the universe all caught on video.

His latest show "Welcome to the Occult Forest" is basically a campy reboot of the prior show that tries the one-take thing for the whole short season, basically one movie split into 15 minute chunks.

Notable in all these projects Shiraishi is both the cameraman and plays the in-story cameraman! He seems like a funny guy.

He's also done a number of drama (ie non-mockumentary) projects to lesser note, probably for the money, like Sadako vs Kayako. I liked Hell Girl, I thought it was an ok "Japanese Hellraiser" complete with cenobites and everything. I found out later there's a whole manga/anime franchise but I'm not gonna get into that.

 
I watched Jack Be Nimble, a New Zealand horror from the early '90s. Has the tranny Arquette brother in it (before he trooned, obviously). Really not worth watching. I'd never heard of it, so figured I'd check it out. It's a pretty good premise, with a couple flourishes in it that are OK; and the lead chick does a pretty good job. There's some pretty odd choices in it (like having her hook up with a very middle-aged psychic), and it builds up finally to an interesting practical effect in the last 5 minutes (although it's not even a death...and it may have seemed good only relative to the sheer dullness of the rest of the movie).

It's a VERY New Zealand film, that's for sure. Some sites say it has a cult following, but I have no idea why, and I doubt it's true anyway. Or maybe it's localized to NZ.

The characters and story aren't insultingly bad like modern mainstream horror, but they're not great either.

No good deaths, only gore is in the last 5 minutes, no tits.

1.5 stars, better off avoiding it unless you really want to see how NZ was 20-30 years behind the rest of the world in the '90s.

I guess one more tiny reason to watch is to see the worst/dumbest superpower in the world, but you only need to watch the first 15 minutes for theat. Turn it off or skip to the last 10 minutes after that.
 
Your Starter for 10 said:
I watched Jack Be Nimble, a New Zealand horror from the early '90s. Has the tranny Arquette brother in it (before he trooned, obviously). Really not worth watching. I'd never heard of it, so figured I'd check it out. It's a pretty good premise, with a couple flourishes in it that are OK; and the lead chick does a pretty good job. There's some pretty odd choices in it (like having her hook up with a very middle-aged psychic), and it builds up finally to an interesting practical effect in the last 5 minutes (although it's not even a death...and it may have seemed good only relative to the sheer dullness of the rest of the movie).

It's a VERY New Zealand film, that's for sure. Some sites say it has a cult following, but I have no idea why, and I doubt it's true anyway. Or maybe it's localized to NZ.

The characters and story aren't insultingly bad like modern mainstream horror, but they're not great either.

No good deaths, only gore is in the last 5 minutes, no tits.

1.5 stars, better off avoiding it unless you really want to see how NZ was 20-30 years behind the rest of the world in the '90s.

I guess one more tiny reason to watch is to see the worst/dumbest superpower in the world, but you only need to watch the first 15 minutes for theat. Turn it off or skip to the last 10 minutes after that.
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Should I just go ahead and check it out just out of curiosity, or is it not even worth that?
 
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