Dove Reviews - Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?

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glutenfreebooty said:
This is the movie/TV review version of cherrypicking verses from the Bible.

I wonder if they read Revelations, or avoid it like 90% of Evangelical Christians.
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Who knows. If they did, the review would be either "THIS IS EVIL AVOID AT ALL COSTS!" Or written like "Saving Christmas", where the person doing the review missed out on some glaringly obvious things.
 
Jewelsmakerguy said:
Who knows. If they did, the review would be either "THIS IS EVIL AVOID AT ALL COSTS!" Or written like "Saving Christmas", where the person doing the review missed out on some glaringly obvious things.
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They didn't miss it. It's just that Kirk Cameron is a member of the Crazy Christian Club so gets a pass.
 
I checked to see what they think of a couple Pokemon movies because they were my childhood favorites and the first pokemon movie got a 12+ rating and I'm going to look into why right now
Apparently it's just for violence, while my memory of the movie isn't great I remember the violence is portrayed as a bad thing and one of the characters is all like "pokemon aren't meant to fight like this" and then they all learn that the circumstances of how you're born don't matter and everyone's memories get erased so they forget the lesson about not beating the shit out of each other. Honestly I expected them to not like to because Christians have a history of thinking pokemon is evil and that's why I chose the movie to look at, they don't mention the fact pokemon are esstentially magical animals used for cockfights
 
Only semi-related, but my parents used to rent movies from "Clean flix," which sold sanitized versions of films on DVD-Rs. I remember when they got shut down by the federal courts for rather blatantly engaging in movie piracy while claiming some kind of moral high ground because they cut the fart jokes out of Shrek. I saw a documentary about the company on Netflix and it was apparently run by repressed Mormons who are forbidden by their church from viewing R rated movies. One major distributor of edited DVDs in Provo, UT later got busted for child pornography and soliciting a minor.
 
I'm waiting for them to branch out and review video games and give the original Mario Bros a 12+ rating because he takes drugs and murders turtles
Surprisingly, they have nothing on any My Little Pony media despite it being fairly popular with children, not even the movie they released in theaters a few years ago
 
Bugaboo said:
Surprisingly, they have nothing on any My Little Pony media despite it being fairly popular with children, not even the movie they released in theaters a few years ago
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No true Christian needs to be told that's straight from Satan.
 
I think I know why this rings a bell. They have an app for the Roku. At least I think. They offer movies for $4.99 a month.
 
Bugaboo said:
I'm waiting for them to branch out and review video games and give the original Mario Bros a 12+ rating because he takes drugs and murders turtles
Surprisingly, they have nothing on any My Little Pony media despite it being fairly popular with children, not even the movie they released in theaters a few years ago
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Even a bunch of sheltered, out-of-touch fundies know better than to open that can of unkempt beard grease.
Harvey Kent said:
Only semi-related, but my parents used to rent movies from "Clean flix," which sold sanitized versions of films on DVD-Rs. I remember when they got shut down by the federal courts for rather blatantly engaging in movie piracy while claiming some kind of moral high ground because they cut the fart jokes out of Shrek. I saw a documentary about the company on Netflix and it was apparently run by repressed Mormons who are forbidden by their church from viewing R rated movies. One major distributor of edited DVDs in Provo, UT later got busted for child pornography and soliciting a minor.
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Slightly off-topic, but do you know the name of the documentary? That sounds legitimately interesting.
 
Harvey Kent said:
Only semi-related, but my parents used to rent movies from "Clean flix," which sold sanitized versions of films on DVD-Rs. I remember when they got shut down by the federal courts for rather blatantly engaging in movie piracy while claiming some kind of moral high ground because they cut the fart jokes out of Shrek. I saw a documentary about the company on Netflix and it was apparently run by repressed Mormons who are forbidden by their church from viewing R rated movies. One major distributor of edited DVDs in Provo, UT later got busted for child pornography and soliciting a minor.
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Man, the hypocrisy is astounding. To think that these people are the same ones that complain about even just the simplest "swears".
 
Jewelsmakerguy said:
Man, the hypocrisy is astounding. To think that these people are the same ones that complain about even just the simplest "swears".
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They're really just the people trying to make a buck off the nuts who sincerely care about this shit.

Like how the people who run the money end of that sluthate shit probably don't care that much about the angle of your protuberance or whatever so much as they care about making other people panic about it so they can sell those people some crap.

Or how Alex Jones might not filter all his water.
 
I noticed they don't mention any uses of the word "Fuck"
Is it too taboo for them?
 
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Piga Dgrifm said:
Friendship is Satanic.
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Apparently.
 
Oh god, sites like this are always good for a laugh. There's a similar site out there called Plugged In and while not as spergtastic as Dove, they're still lulzy.
 
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