🐮 Lolcow Doug Jackson / SV Seeker - Boomer hubris personified, an incompetent lunatic's dreams slowly crumbling to dust because of his own poor decisions.

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Did I understand the starter bit correctly? They put a washer between the starter and the block for one of the 3 mounting bolts?

Can't say I'm even a little surprised his piece of plastic and a hose clamp fixed pitch solution didn't work.

This shit right here is why ships use a chain locker and a cogged windlass instead of trying to winch up chain.
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Almost like hundreds of years of maritime innovation shouldn't be ignored. Dude's constantly reinventing the wheel. Also lol at that video title. A "challenging trip" across inland rivers. He's fucked.

I just skimmed the video. I honestly thought towing with a dingy was a joke or a meme. I didn't think anyone could be that dumb. If your fucking schoolbus motor can't keep up, a little outboard wont either. Jesus christ it's unreal.
 
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It's a strange satisfaction you get from watching Doug's videos, not entirely unlike the last couple seasons of Game of Thrones where it's not the plot or the characters that keep you engaged but the bizarre bullshit and amateurish mistakes that tickle your funny bone.
Is that another water bottle left on set? No, it's just a couple tons of unsecured ballast resting on the forecastle. The solid bulwarks make a little more sense when they're the only thing keeping all these lead ingots from sliding off into the drink.
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What really boggles the mind though is the broken bolts in the pitch controller because the dumb motherfucker couldn't find ones long enough at a hardware store so he just settled for partial thread engagement.
This is a man with a machine shop on his boat. How in god's name didn't he have the correct bolts on hand or at bare minimum the ability to thread his own?
 
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I hope he's hit with a gigantic bill when the coast guard has to rescue his dumb ass.

Apparently he killed the Suzuki outboard with vinegar by running it through the outlet side with the motor off. Commenters were saying that particular motor relies on exhaust pressure to keep the water out of the cylinders. It not designed to have water pumped through it when it's off.

Totally salvageable motor too, just a soft seize. Could be cleaned and honed fairly simply.
 
Doug's old website submarineboat.com is back up where you can read gems such as this one:

Once we decided to build our own boat we set out to find a building site. Where we could live on site, be close to work, have plenty of room, and where no one would care about the noise or scenery.


What we found was a 100 x 200 ft lot with an abandoned house beside the rail road, highway, tree service yard, steel yard, and scrap yard. In the heart of Meth Lab central. We doubled the sellers best offer and paid $1,500. No, that's right. 1,500USD.


The really surprising thing? We love the neighborhood. Seriously! If we were not building a boat, we'd stay right here.
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Here we can also find the quote for the masts with their weight included. Somewhere along the way Doug learned that a heavier mast increases inertia and reduces rate of roll and so he went with the heaviest set of masts he could find, without taking a moment to consider why the only people who ever choose a heavier mast are those with fibreglass boats and deep running keels.
Doug's boat was always going to exceed weight estimates and now has an alarmingly slow rate of roll indicating insufficient stability and reserve buoyancy. Masts weighing in at two goddamn tons was just overcompensating for a problem that never existed, same story with the 'nightmare complexity' that is his drive system, the watertight doors (seals cracked and falling apart from seven years of exposure while the rest of the boat was yet to be built), the oversized pilot house, the solid bulwarks and on and on...
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When I see the pile of lead ingots a scenario comes to mind.
I assume the are piled on the side opposite the list to try to get it to lean less.
At some point the boat tilts.
All the ingots fall to the other side and the boat rolls over.
After fulfilling the prophecy of the URL Doug uses submarineboat.com to raise money to lift the SV Sinker.
Dough pockets the money and heads off to points unknown leaving the gf behind.
 
SaltyFantaMan said:
Slightly off topic, but are there any other Lolcows that would appeal to people with a technical background? Someone who is endlessly failing to engineer something?
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I understand that Alex Mahan or whatever his name was guy that is developing that Yandere Simulator game is extraordinarily incompetent as a programmer. I assume he'd be funny to follow for someone who has any real skill in that area.
 
The Littlest Shitlord said:
I understand that Alex Mahan or whatever his name was guy that is developing that Yandere Simulator game is extraordinarily incompetent as a programmer. I assume he'd be funny to follow for someone who has any real skill in that area.
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Au contraire, the codebase is just sideshow in that regard. Most of what can be said about his programming has already been said bit after some build leaked ages ago (mostly messy spaghetti code that's unmaintainable and performs like an ass due doing things backwards) - he also flipped his bits when he couldn't make out of what actual hired gamedev was doing to his game. It's his massive ego, inability to take criticism, people helping out, and generally just being dense as neutrino star that drives the thread.
 
A single sentence in Doug's own words to sum up this project:
we're gonna go up to Grade 8. So, next time if we do any damage, well, it won't be the bolt shearing. It may, uh, rip all the threads out, but it won't be the bolt shearing.
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The variable pitch controller randomly goes to 0 pitch under load. Doug has know idea why and wants to put it in the mill and give it some clearance, Clarence.
 
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This man has a vise in his onboard machine shop. Not just that, he's got a goddamn CNC mill too.
Why use any of those tools though when you can show that Essential Craftsman nerd how a real man uses a circular saw?

SaltyFantaMan said:
Slightly off topic, but are there any other Lolcows that would appeal to people with a technical background? Someone who is endlessly failing to engineer something?
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In the DIY/trades areas of interest? Grover comes to mind but he's been mentioned already.
What's truly unique about Doug is while you've got shitshows like the Flyin' Hawaiian or Raw Faith, both of which were arguably even bigger shitshows than the "not yet sailing vessel" Seeker, they didn't document and publish their insanity to anywhere near the degree Doug has and continues to do. It is not uncommon for home built boats to sink, some times with fatalities as a result, it is however a truly rare sight to be able to follow every step in the decision making and construction work leading to disaster.
Make no mistake, there are probably hundreds of idiots full of piss and vinegar with insufficient wisdom or technical skills to complete their projects as designed who make fools of themselves online but what Doug has built is a legitimate death trap that is (unless significantly modified) guaranteed to either kill someone or come damn close if it ever encounters heavy seas. It might just topple over and result in a drowning or two just from raising sail.
This is assuming the poor quality welds don't fail first and the front falls off.

No wait a sec, I'd forgotten about Michael Hughes, the flat earther who killed himself with a steam rocket.
 
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Penrowe said:
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This man has a vise in his onboard machine shop. Not just that, he's got a goddamn CNC mill too.
Why use any of that those tools though when you can show that Essential Craftsman nerd how a real man uses a circular saw?


In the DIY/trades areas of interest? Grover comes to mind but he's been mentioned already.
What's truly unique about Doug is while you've got shitshows like the Flyin' Hawaiian or Raw Faith, both of which were arguably even bigger shitshows than the "not yet sailing vessel" Seeker, they didn't document and publish their insanity to anywhere near the degree Doug has and continues to do. It is not uncommon for home built boats to sink, some times with fatalities as a result, it is however a truly rare sight to be able to follow every step in the decision making and construction work leading to disaster.
Make no mistake, there are probably hundreds of idiots full of piss and vinegar with insufficient wisdom or technical skills to complete their projects as designed who make fools of themselves online but what Doug has built is a legitimate death trap that is (unless significantly modified) guaranteed to either kill someone or come damn close if it ever encounters heavy seas. It might just topple over and result in a drowning or two just from raising sail.
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Theme of the Doug show
 
What the fuck is he doing with a chainsaw?

I think his mickey mouse hydraulic system can't keep the prop pitched. There's too much going on and he's putting too much force on the blades so they overcome the pitch system.
 
DarthMower said:
How it started:


How it's going:
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When I said shake hands with danger it was a warning not an instruction.
TurdFondler said:
What the fuck is he doing with a chainsaw?

I think his mickey mouse hydraulic system can't keep the prop pitched. There's too much going on and he's putting too much force on the blades so they overcome the pitch system.
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I honestly have no idea. I looked into Hundested Marine and they advertise that they custom design and build every prop and gearbox they sell to fit the need of the customer. They seem like a reputable company and advertise themselves as one of the premier sailing vessel prop and gearbox maker.

My bet is the prop was designed right and either Doug cheaped out and bought a used system or he gave them specs that have no bearing on reality.
 
Smoke Manmuscle said:
My bet is the prop was designed right and either Doug cheaped out and bought a used system or he gave them specs that have no bearing on reality.
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It's 100% previously enjoyed. These units cost more than a diesel pickup new and no way Doug dropped that kinda money on any part of this boat.

Oh look, from Doug's own site:
But Paul Liebenberg had two of the darn things, port and starboard, sitting in Comox on Vancouver Island. The problems was that Comox is 2300 miles from Tulsa Oklahoma, and the units had a vague history and no blades.
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So we started looking into casting our own blades and once we figured that was doable we set off for Comox for the starboard side shaft and controller that was priced appropriate for the risk.
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Our unit is a VP-3 FR-H and it must be 15 years old, but it turns out Hundersted still has parts sitting on the self. And that is a good thing because it turns out that we are missing the distributor ring that cost a tidy $2,200 dollars. Ouch! ...and no, they will not give us the plans. Then after we provided measurements for the muff on which the distributor ring rides we were told it was too warn and a new one would coast another $1,200. And no, they would not provide the tolerances.
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I wonder if he even remembers he made the part he's currently fighting?
So, we must buy a new distributor ring and muff for $3.5 grand, or buy a distributor ring and flame spray some metal back onto the muff and machine it to the proper size $2.5 grand, or we build a new distributor ring and put the money into a good lathe, $3 grand and I end up with a free lathe. Hmmmm.... Guess what Hundested? We got a lathe that will pay for itself with he first part.
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Thumbing your nose at the dealer and manufacture after wasting both parties time on the phone is a great way to guarantee service and support going forward.

Bottom of the page has all the specs he forgot about, including working pressure and relief pressure.

Manufacture Number: 4574​

Hydraulic pump maximum 19 inches above shaft.
Return line: 1.5" Pressure Line: .5"
Flow rate: 4 to 6.5 gallons / minute
Normal pressure: 70 to 140 psi
Relief pressure: 20 bar, 290 psi
Use 350 psi hydraulic pressure gauge on console.
Maximum hydraulic oil temperature 122 to 149 F.
Replace after 2000 hours or 2 years.
Hub material is magnesium bronze.
Hub and internal shaft uses water soluble.
Fill bolt holes with hard tallow, or machinable wax.
Use long cutlass bearing.
Shaft diameter: 65 mm
Propeller shaft to controller shaft alignment: .03 to .05 over 9.75"

Hydraulic oil degrees englar (E): 2 - 4
Mobil DTE light or DTE 24
Shell Turbo T32 or Tellus Plus 32
Texaco Regal R&O 32 or Rando HD 32
Conoco Hydroclear R&O 32 or Hydroclear AW 32

Hydraulic Supply

Cummins Power Steering Pump: Zahnradfabrik Friedrichshafen Type 76749?4150

Parker Cartridge Valves and Bodies from Aberdine Dynamics, Tulsa OK. 918 437 8000, Johnny Tyler
Parker Cartridge Specifications

Parker: Pilot Operated Pressure Reducing Valve
Primary Bypass - Adjust to open at 290 psi and supply other equipment or dump back to Hundersted controller.
This simulates an autotive steering system that dumps excess when the wheels are not being turned.
PRH082S10 $52.00 Pilot Operated Pressure Reducing Valve: 100 - 1000 psi, 8 gpm, 80 psi drop. Max 200F, Cartridge 3-port B08-3-A6T $27.50 3 port aluminum body for cartridge B08-3-A6T 3/8"

Parker: Pilot Operated Relief Valve
Regulates pressure suppled to controller to 290 psi, when the controller is not using the supply the primary bypass will open
dump the excess pressure and flow.
RAH081S20 $48.50 Pilot Operated Relief Valve, 100 - 2000 psi
B08-2-A6T $19 Body 2-ports, 3/8" O-ring Port
lol at Zahnradfabrik Friedrichshafen. Fucking spaz can't just say ZF like a normal person.
 
Smoke Manmuscle said:
My bet is the prop was designed right and either Doug cheaped out and bought a used system or he gave them specs that have no bearing on reality.
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The pitch control unit was bought from a scrapper, it did not function and had been deactivated, requiring Doug to either spend money on replacement parts (lmao) or monkey about on his lathe to create the parts he needed. What he botched together keeps failing because of the following:
  1. Hundested would not divulge dimensions/tolerances, so Doug had to guess. He guessed wrong.
  2. Doug is incapable of precision work.
The pitch control malfunctions because it cannot hold pressure. This is made worse by Doug casting the biggest damn prop blades he could. A smaller prop would have meant lower pressure and greater likelihood of success.

To clarify, he bought a lathe rather than spend the money on the parts he needed. Doug had no prior machining experience (his work is still piss poor a decade later) and decided to jump into the deep end of the pool while thinking .001" and .001mm are the same thing.
 
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SaltyFantaMan said:
Slightly off topic, but are there any other Lolcows that would appeal to people with a technical background? Someone who is endlessly failing to engineer something?
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cooking is Jack Scalfani, music is Virgo rouge, law/legal is Russell Greer, medical is the SRS thread or Tardbaby thread, biology is the SMASHED AND SLAMMED dog breed thread, I'm sure there are more.

edit: no matter what you're a specialist in, there's a cow that will infuriate you in particular, for professional reasons.
 
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