Dear Ralph - Say whatever you want to Ethan Ralph

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Dear Ralph,

you're one of the dumbest and most shameless people I've ever seen on the internet. You're just like Mundanematt.
 
Dear Ralph,
You’re 50 years old, how much longer can you keep this up. Eventually your body is going to start shutting down (not that it hasn’t already) and you’ll need health insurance for all the meds and Doc visits.
On top of that, you’ll need insurance coverage for the kid and the wife. So you have any idea what it costs out of pocket to have a kid delivered? Even with insurance it’s $5,000.
You’re gonna need to get a job pal.

Ralph, you don’t have life insurance. And because of how unhealthy and fat you are it’s not gonna cost $50 a month for a $300,000 plan, it’s gonna cost you $200.

Ralph, your liver has gone to shit. You know it. You will die early of liver disease. And it will be a slow death.

Ralph, give up and get a job at a car lot. Sell some Hondas, the commission is great now. The money is drying up, and it’s only gonna go faster. Either you beg like DSP for the remaking 1 or 3 years left in your lolcow career or get a head start and get a REAL job.

Ralph, Josh has beaten you, simply because he will outlive you. Josh has outlived them all, and you’re next.
 
Dear Ralph,

Ever single loss over the past decade has been brought about by you. You blame everyone for teh shit that just magically happens to you. You should have some point where you realise shit ain't working and your precious influence, money and clout are dwindling, you should have some major breakthrough and change your ways. This will never happen, and that's why I think so many of us enjoy watching you flail around and pull shit down on your head. it's not the karen farms, or that petafile josh moon, it's not faith's fault, it's not nora's fault, or the horse you are fucking now. It's your fault, and everything that has happened has been a direct response to your actions.
The funny thing, if you straightened out, and got back to having good guests and maybe some "debate".. You would recover in a years time, you'd be king shit of turd mountain for a bit. But, this will never happen, you always act like a nigger and do the first thing to pop in your nigger brain. You can't help yourself, you don't know how to maintain working relationships. This story is gonna have a very dark ending and i'm looking forward to it.
 
Dear Ralph

You’re a fat 5 foot 1 piece of shit who lives in a dingy crack shack. You’re a useless amoeba who’s never held a real job, never contributed to society, and only brought nothing but suffering to everyone around you. You have the reverse Midas touch - everything you touch turns to shit (or shart in your case).
 

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Why are you the optimal hilarious outcome of obstinate to the point of suicidal stupidity and brainless spineless bootlicking cowardice? Why do you eat so many fecal matter and discarded trash sandwiches? Why didn't you just buy a fucking sandwich? You weren't poor then you had insane youtube bucks.
 
FraudFrog said:
Dear Ralph,
You’re 50 years old, how much longer can you keep this up. Eventually your body is going to start shutting down (not that it hasn’t already) and you’ll need health insurance for all the meds and Doc visits.
On top of that, you’ll need insurance coverage for the kid and the wife. So you have any idea what it costs out of pocket to have a kid delivered? Even with insurance it’s $5,000.
You’re gonna need to get a job pal.

Ralph, you don’t have life insurance. And because of how unhealthy and fat you are it’s not gonna cost $50 a month for a $300,000 plan, it’s gonna cost you $200.

Ralph, your liver has gone to shit. You know it. You will die early of liver disease. And it will be a slow death.

Ralph, give up and get a job at a car lot. Sell some Hondas, the commission is great now. The money is drying up, and it’s only gonna go faster. Either you beg like DSP for the remaking 1 or 3 years left in your lolcow career or get a head start and get a REAL job.

Ralph, Josh has beaten you, simply because he will outlive you. Josh has outlived them all, and you’re next.
Click to expand...
$30,000 because May will deliver by caesarean section.
 
Dear Ralph,

Despite your decent into madness and down right evil behavior, I still hold a special place in my heart just for you. There was a time when your world was at it's zenith and the Killstream was on top where you could see a glimpse of a real person there. Generally happy and seemingly principled Ralph would go on and entertain the masses. Why I even remember you saying how thankful you were for superchats. Those were the days buddy.

Now that little spark of humanity you have in you has almost winked out. You're finding the lowest quality women you can and reproducing with them so you can mark it down in your book as a biological victory when we all know those children are going to have very rough times in their lives because of your actions. You can't stop reading the Kiwi Farms or thinking about null for a single day, it's a major part of your life now. You used to at least get Gator to read it for you so you wouldn't get so pissed off, remember that Ralph? You can't even do that anymore. Sure you don't drink like you used to, but now you run to Las Vegas in a pathetic attempt to avoid breaking down entirely and to do what? Gamble while high on coke. Excellent shuffle of vices there buddy.

Of course your destruction of any kind of network of friends is everyone's favorite part, aside from you shitting your pants of course. Remember when Dark Vee died and you had that funeral stream? Remember all the people that were there and how most of them are either distanced from you or your blood enemy now? Even Rand, who you have beaten like a dog so many times has left.

I just want to know who gets the chopping block next? Gator sure does take a lot of jabs at you on twitter anymore, one of them has to have connected with your nose by now. In fact I'd say Gator is doing pretty good right about now. He does his anime show, has other internet friends he can talk about that sort of thing with, think he had Rackets on the other day. Of course you don't tell people who to associate with, I get it, just seems like he doesn't go on the Killstream all that much anymore. You had to announce his presence on the Tequila Sunrise the other day didn't you? Big draw there Ralph, The Gator Gamer, wow! Of course you can't blow up at him and I know why.

It's because we'll laugh at you.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
Sure you don't drink like you used to
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:optimistic: though i guess meth and abuse of various assortments of pills and medications isnt technically a DRANK.

Ew That Smell said:
Dear Ralph,

You don't live in anyone's head rent free. There's a hefty fucking fee.
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ralph can live with me rent free when his life goes tits up getting financially fucked by faith and later mantsu. ill even lay down some sawdust for piggy bedding and fill his lil piggy food and drank trough with makers and lemon wheels and whatever trashed food i scavenge from the local dump
 
Dear Ralph,
Your greatest enemy is yourself
...but please don't have that epiphany, because you fucking up constantly is endlessly entertaining lol
 
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