🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Fallensaint]

So I just write off the top of my head and keep going, not caring about quality? I'm typing this message right now at lightning speed, and I doubt I'm making a lick of sense. I'm frantic, terrified. I'm afraid if I put down the wrong word, I'll fuck everything up.

Or you could, you know, use the edit button.

 

[Connor Bible]

Seriously, when I try to write stuff, I'm mortified, I'm sweating. I don't know what to put next. This applies to pretty much everything. My hands are trembling.

 

[Smutley]

So I just write off the top of my head and keep going, not caring about quality? I'm typing this message right now at lightning speed, and I doubt I'm making a lick of sense. I'm frantic, terrified. I'm afraid if I put down the wrong word, I'll fuck everything up.

I'm actually a little worried about you posting things like the Benny Hill theme that you can't remember doing. In the past couple weeks have you written things or done things that you don't fully remember how it happened?

 

[Connor Bible]

I'm actually a little worried about you posting things like the Benny Hill theme that you can't remember doing. In the past couple weeks have you written things or done things that you don't fully remember how it happened?

You're fucking with me. Mods or admins can edit my posts. I do not remember posting that Benny Hill theme.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Seriously, when I try to write stuff, I'm mortified, I'm sweating. I don't know what to put next. This applies to pretty much everything. My hands are trembling.

Telling you Connor, you need to join me for an interview on Skype. We'll work out all those stress issues and get you channeling those skills into some real work.

 

[Dr. Meme]

Seriously, when I try to write stuff, I'm mortified, I'm sweating. I don't know what to put next. This applies to pretty much everything. My hands are trembling.

theres vomit on your sweater already
mom's spaghetti

 

[Connor Bible]

Telling you Connor, you need to join me for an interview on Skype. We'll work out all those stress issues and get you channeling those skills into some real work.

My handle is Carolina Clash, I believe.

 

[Silver]

@Connor Bible you do realize real authors do a thing called "editing" and "revising" correct

 

[CatParty]

You're fucking with me. Mods or admins can edit my posts. I do not remember posting that Benny Hill theme.

literally only null can change content

 

[Rio]

You think I can just churn out the right words off the top of my head on the first go?

That's why first drafts and editing are a thing. The first draft is never perfect. It's more like a rough cutout of the story, followed by later drafts, which refine the prose, and if needed the story and make it into a presentable whole.

 

[Smutley]

I do not remember posting that Benny Hill theme.

Yeah that's kind of what I'm worried about dude

Have you been under more anxiety than usual lately?

 

[Dr. Meme]

If you're stressed out connor you know you can always shoot me a PM

 

[registereduser]

Seriously, when I try to write stuff, I'm mortified, I'm sweating. I don't know what to put next. This applies to pretty much everything. My hands are trembling.

This is already better writing than what you normally do. Your problem is you think too hard about what you're going to write as you're writing so it ends being contrived crap. Push through that stress and just write, even if all you're doing is describing the stress of writing. It's good practice and will get you used to pushing through that stress.

(Why the fuck am I giving Connor advice again? Jfc, me.)

 

[tomgirl4life]

Their relationship is... unusual, to say the least. They're kind of like worthy opponents/"siblings"/lovers in a weird way.

To get back on topic, this description of their relationship sounds like Ryan Phillippe and Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions.

 

[TM Ambrose]

So I just write off the top of my head and keep going, not caring about quality? I'm typing this message right now at lightning speed, and I doubt I'm making a lick of sense. I'm frantic, terrified. I'm afraid if I put down the wrong word, I'll fuck everything up.

You guys forget: how would connor be able to keep up this style of writing if his first book is a hit

 

[LiquidCooledGonads]

So I just write off the top of my head and keep going, not caring about quality? I'm typing this message right now at lightning speed, and I doubt I'm making a lick of sense. I'm frantic, terrified. I'm afraid if I put down the wrong word, I'll fuck everything up.

Last time it was "Don't make me write because it'll be too good and I won't be able to handle the fame!", now it's "Don't make me write because it'll be terrible if I write at Sonic running speed".

Make up your mind, bro.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Last time it was "Don't make me write because it'll be too good and I won't be able to handle the fame!", now it's "Don't make me write because it'll be terrible if I write at Sonic running speed".

Make up your mind, bro.

He can't. That's part of the problem.

Connor isn't actually feeling any of this. He's responding based on how people are reacting to him.

I propose a writing assignment. We come up with a concept and time limit and have Connor and anybody else that wants to join in write about it and post it. Maybe start a new thread. It might give some insight into Connor's mind and the like.

 

[Ruin]

Yeah that's kind of what I'm worried about dude

Have you been under more anxiety than usual lately?

Must be crazy stressful not having a job, friends, or social obligations. And taking one class per semester must be murder.

 

[Handsome Pete]

So I just write off the top of my head and keep going, not caring about quality? I'm typing this message right now at lightning speed, and I doubt I'm making a lick of sense. I'm frantic, terrified. I'm afraid if I put down the wrong word, I'll fuck everything up.

All right, time for a crash course in writing. I'll be using one of my own posts as an example because it's easier than asking someone else for permission.

Spoiler: Boring shit about editing

Now then. In another thread, I made this post:

He looks like Wesley Willis's desiccated corpse.

A simple one-liner. Really just a pop culture reference, pointing out a visual similarity between a lolcow (Kylie Brooks) and a somewhat recognizable semi-celebrity (Wesley Willis). It would have been a stronger joke, though, if I had slightly re-worded it to:

He looks like the desiccated corpse of Wesley Willis.

This seemingly inconsequential change would have removed a bit of awkward wording (the apostrophe-S in "Willis's"), as well as saving the "punchline" (the comparison between Kylie and Willis) for the very end, thus surprising the reader. Am I nitpicking? Absolutely. But if this was a "real" writing project and not a stupid forum post, that would have been the editing process.

TL;DR: The thing you're afraid of is, like, a huge part of writing.

 

[MasterDisaster]

He's not coming back today, guys. I sent him off on a holy journey to write something.