🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
I can't believe I'm playing devil's advocate here, but even the worst parents in the world realize that newborns require a certain bare minimum of care or they will die. If a newborn cries at two in the morning, you either care for it or resign yourself to no sleep. Very young babies have a distress cry on a frequency that causes a psychological response in most people; it can wake even a heavy sleeper and causes people to becomes extremely agitated and anxious. If you happen to have a vested interest in the baby in question, the agitation translates into a desire to comfort the child. (If you don't have that interest--if you are, say, another person on the airplane--it becomes an urge to strangle the parent.)

Long, long ago, when I worked at a large chain bookstore, we had a mother walking around with a very small, shrieking infant. The child was crying at that piercing level that indicated extreme distress--not merely a fussy baby but a baby that was being actively hurt. It went on and on for about ten minutes, until finally I couldn't bear it anymore. It wasn't only that the noise was bothersome (although it was), but that I simply couldn't get over the idea that this baby was hurt; someone had to do something and I was frantic. I left what I was doing and dashed to the corner from which the screaming came...and arrived at the same time as, no exaggeration, ten other women. We kind of encircled this poor woman and her baby like a group of sharks. It turned out that the baby had an ear infection and that the mother had decided to take it shopping anyway. She very meekly left the store. But it was very strange that apparently nearly a dozen women--including one who was only about twenty at the time and had no kids nor any interest in having any--hit their breaking point at the same moment and all of us felt compelled to rush over and tend to a stranger's baby.
 
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The Knife said:
I can't believe I'm playing devil's advocate here, but even the worst parents in the world realize that newborns require a certain bare minimum of care or they will die. If a newborn cries at two in the morning, you either care for it or resign yourself to no sleep. Very young babies have a distress cry on a frequency that causes a psychological response in most people; it can wake even a heavy sleeper and causes people to becomes extremely agitated and anxious. If you happen to have a vested interest in the baby in question, the agitation translates into a desire to comfort the child. (If you don't have that interest--if you are, say, another person on the airplane--it becomes an urge to strangle the parent.)
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According the source I listed, about 90% of adoptive parents are viewed by others as unselfish, lucky, and advantaged. In contrast, 40-45% of people view adoptees as brooding, antisocial loners who get into trouble at school and have behavior problems.

Most people get their ideas about adoption from friends, family, or the media. Page 47 of that adoption survey I posted states that a whopping 72% of people received positive impressions about adoption from the media.
 
Connor said:
According the source I listed, about 90% of adoptive parents are viewed by others as unselfish, lucky, and advantaged. In contrast, 40-45% of people view adoptees as brooding, antisocial loners who get into trouble at school and have behavior problems.

Most people get their ideas about adoption from friends, family, or the media. Page 47 of that adoption survey I posted states that a whopping 72% of people received positive impressions about adoption from the media.
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Again playing the devil's advocate: you have often complained of the rosy picture the media paints of adoption, yet now you're citing a survey that confirms that most people get a positive impression of adoption from the media...and that's a good thing. Why the sudden shift in attitude?
 
Connor said:
According the source I listed, about 90% of adoptive parents are viewed by others as unselfish, lucky, and advantaged. In contrast, 40-45% of people view adoptees as brooding, antisocial loners who get into trouble at school and have behavior problems.

Most people get their ideas about adoption from friends, family, or the media. Page 47 of that adoption survey I posted states that a whopping 72% of people received positive impressions about adoption from the media.
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Why do you think so much about adoption if you weren't adopted?
 
The Knife said:
Again playing the devil's advocate: you have often complained of the rosy picture the media paints of adoption, yet now you're citing a survey that confirms that most people get a positive impression of adoption from the media...and that's a good thing. Why the sudden shift in attitude?
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Well, since I'm working on Alphaboy, I thought I'd read about the subject with an unbiased perspective to gain some verisimilitude. Sure, dark and edgy portrayals of adoption have reared their ugly heads in years past (Mommie Dearest, dozens of Lifetime movies, etc.), but when you sit down and think about them, they come off as maudlin and illogical. They sacrifice realism for sensationalism. Why do you think there are more negative adoption stories covered on the evening news than normal, happy ones? It sells more, it gets ratings, it makes the bestseller list. It's sad, really.
 
Our boy is finally understanding! :heart-full:
In a slightly spergy way, but still...
 
Connor said:
Well, since I'm working on Alphaboy, I thought I'd read about the subject with an unbiased perspective to gain some verisimilitude. Sure, dark and edgy portrayals of adoption have reared their ugly heads in years past (Mommie Dearest, dozens of Lifetime movies, etc.), but when you sit down and think about them, they come off as maudlin and illogical. They sacrifice realism for sensationalism. Why do you think there are more negative adoption stories covered on the evening news than normal, happy ones? It sells more, it gets ratings, it makes the bestseller list. It's sad, really.
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You're literally comparing fictional stories to other fictional stories here.

I get that you're writing (or rather, talking about writing) a fictional story but can't you look at a few actual fucking sources for this? I'm talking documentaries, memoirs, even searching for vlogs by adoptees on youtube.

It's like you don't even actually care about the reality of adoption more so that that you care about the concept of it. You're using it specifically to project your feelings of cynicism towards people in general.

Why is the fictionalized concept of adoption your vessel for expressing your views toward humanity? Autism finds a way.
 
Connor said:
So...

I bought Juno today.
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Oh, dis gonna be good.

Connor said:
It also helps that I've studied psychology.
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PFFFFFFFFFFT HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Connor said:
Well, since I'm working on Alphaboy, I thought I'd read about the subject with an unbiased perspective to gain some verisimilitude. Sure, dark and edgy portrayals of adoption have reared their ugly heads in years past (Mommie Dearest, dozens of Lifetime movies, etc.), but when you sit down and think about them, they come off as maudlin and illogical. They sacrifice realism for sensationalism. Why do you think there are more negative adoption stories covered on the evening news than normal, happy ones? It sells more, it gets ratings, it makes the bestseller list. It's sad, really.
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Well, I'm glad you're finally having a change of heart.

How is Alphaboy going, anyhow?
 
I watched Juno a couple weeks ago, and you know what convinced me Vanessa (Jennifer Garner's character) would be a good mother? The scene in the mall when she's playing with the little kid. Seriously, they do everything possible in this movie to show she's really born to be a mother like she said, and that she loves kids. Vanessa is probably the most sympathetic character in the movie, everyone who watches the movie SHOULD cheer for her.

That said, I hope Connor has the mindset to watch the movie now.
 
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