🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor Bible and Philosophy 101
Connor Bible and the Chamber of Apathy
Connor Bible and the Prisoner of Habitude
Connor Bible and the View from the Sidelines
Connor Bible and the Order of the Kiwi
Connor Bible and the Half-Assed Effort
Connor Bible and the Deathly Boredom
 
I think he'd embrace his role as a Slytherin, since it fits in so nicely with what he already believes. Society just decides he's going to be a villain, man, because that's what kind of world this is, so he's going to embrace it by skulking around Hogsmeade talking about Death Eaters into a little recorder and kicking house elves.
 
The Knife said:
Connor Bible and Philosophy 101
Connor Bible and the Chamber of Apathy
Connor Bible and the Prisoner of Habitude
Connor Bible and the View from the Sidelines
Connor Bible and the Order of the Kiwi
Connor Bible and the Half-Assed Effort
Connor Bible and the Deathly Boredom
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Shouldn't the third one be "Connor Bible and the Poster of Wants-a-Ban"?
 
Saul Goodman said:
". . . Harry gripped his wand tightly. Its phoenix feather core was throbbing with desire. . . ."
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Harry Potter fanfic?

Good sir, you think I'm some sort of pleb? Some kind of... pedo pleb?

You insult me.

Also I'd be a Hufflepuff and yeah Connor ain't no Hufflepuff.
 
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The Gift (Connor) 02 Mar 2015, 9:52 pm

"I don't want to start a flame war, but I made enemies with a forum of trolls whose name I am not at liberty to divulge. These guys have nothing better to do with their lives, so they have no problem with picking on people that they dub "lolcows". They devote entire threads to these individuals, deconstructing and laughing at their every action, no matter how mundane. In the lolcow thread devoted to me, they claim they're doing posting horrible things in an effort make me a better person, but their behavior speaks otherwise. They've outright told me that I'll amount to nothing in this existence, that I'm a terrible writer, and so on and so forth. They even have the audacity to occasionally infiltrate WrongPlanet under troll accounts just to urinate in my cereal.

To make a long story short, I'm starting to believe the madmen. I guess sometimes, jerks have points."

@Connor people have spent countless hours here trying to help you. Was it covered in ass pats? No, but it was genuine. Of course you responded like this-

Connor said:
My so-called "best friend", like I've mentioned before, is a complete moron that I'm expected to be buds with out of necessity.
Click to expand...

Connor said:
So you really want me to lie, manipulate, and deceive to get ahead?
Click to expand...

Connor said:
No really. This Emily girl has been sending me multiple friend requests from several different Facebook accounts. She's a morbidly obese womanchild who thinks that I am the Godly man she's been looking for.
Click to expand...

Connor said:
Surely, you're joking. When I friended her briefly on Facebook, she constantly messaged me while I was busy with homework. There were literally pages of messages. I shit you not.
Click to expand...

Connor said:
Well, what's in it for me, you fucking scumbag?
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Ass Manager 3000 said:
The Gift (Connor) 02 Mar 2015, 9:52 pm

"I don't want to start a flame war, but I made enemies with a forum of trolls whose name I am not at liberty to divulge. These guys have nothing better to do with their lives, so they have no problem with picking on people that they dub "lolcows". They devote entire threads to these individuals, deconstructing and laughing at their every action, no matter how mundane. In the lolcow thread devoted to me, they claim they're doing posting horrible things in an effort make me a better person, but their behavior speaks otherwise. They've outright told me that I'll amount to nothing in this existence, that I'm a terrible writer, and so on and so forth. They even have the audacity to occasionally infiltrate WrongPlanet under troll accounts just to urinate in my cereal.

To make a long story short, I'm starting to believe the madmen. I guess sometimes, jerks have points."

@Connor people have spent countless hours here trying to help you. Was it covered in ass pats? No, but it was genuine. Of course you responded like this-
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Awe hes pulling the whole "they pick on poor innocent people!" When he used to do the exact same shit everyone else here does (and if I remember correctly he was actually a bit more weenish than most of the other people here). And people wouldnt put you down like that if you just listened to the advice people gave you and made even the smallest attempt to get your shit together.
 
I don't think it needs to be reiterated that Wrong Planet is a terrible community.
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@Connor

02 Mar 2015, 3:13 pm
"Let's face it, I've got no future. I'm a burden to my family and friends. I have nothing to contribute. I have no talent, no potential. In this world, only the most ruthless and strong survive. Morality and altruism are for weaklings."

You know you're not even as bad as some lolcows get... but you manage to piss me off waaaaaayyy more.

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@Connor , We tried to help you, and you do this? To be honest now I'm not surprised.

I will say what I said before. If you keep doing this (as in running away and whining when you've been told honest, valuable advice), you will die a bitter old man. Heed the advice you were given.
 
Jeez. All we've been doing here for the past week was writing a pokemon story with him as the main character.
 
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