🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
MysticMisty said:
Connor curled up on the ground and cried instead of send Bulbasaur out against it. He was convinced Gyarados would eat him and that bastard Null would laugh and spit on his grave along with his parents.

"Starmie, use Thunderbolt!"

Gyarados was hit by the attack and quickly turned it's attention away from Connor towards this new threat. Before it could use an attack of it's own, however, it was hit by Psychic. Just as it started to faint it was successfully captured in a Pokeball.

The trainer then walked over to the still curled up and crying Connor.

"It's okay, I took care of it. Are you hurt?"

Connor sniffed and looked up. Standing above him was a pretty girl with short red hair and an exposed navel. Connor gasped.

"M-molly! It's you!"
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Looking down at the incompetent mess below her the Gym leader of Cerulean City was confused.

"Um, it's Misty, not Molly" says Misty who is definitely not Molly Ringwald.

Fumbling awkwardly to his feet, our lovable protagonist stands to face the red headed girl that idolized. Disheartened by the idea of this girl not being the real Molly Ringwald Connor realizes he had totally been betrayed again.

"How dare you not be Molly Ringwald! This is a bigger betrayal than when my father dry fired a gun against my head in his pickup truck" Connor shouted as he confronted the obviously sociopathic gym leader who was trying to trick him into thinking she was Molly.

"I never said I was named Molly... Why would I? I mean i'm a fucking gym leader and you're just some bitch who can't get laid. I'm the equivalent of a regional star... Wait, are you the guy who's been staring at me for the last hour?"

Connor, now feeling embarrassed by his out burst immediately attempts to back track, fumbling awkwardly across his words before he finally stumbles upon the phrase he was looking for. "I'm sorry. I mean it this time. From now on I'll try to improve." In his head Connor celebrated, perfectly using the panacea for any autism based fuckups. He grinned broadly at the gym leader, who was wondering why the fuck anything he was saying mattered.

"Okay, whatever you say." Misty says, slowly baking up from the talking pile of autism in front of her. At this moment Connor realized that even though this wasn't the real Molly Ringwald, she still was pretty enough and successful enough to take Molly's place.

"I can prove I can be better!" he yelled in an incredibly grating and autistic manner "I promise i'll have a pokemon battle won before tonight! That way you'll know I love you and want to improve!". Connor runs, but only for about 5 seconds before returning to walking because running requires too much effort, as he goes to find a challenger. He stumbles upon a fisherman at the nearby docks and immediately locks eyes with him. At that moment the battle was on.
 
TM Ambrose said:
Looking down at the incompetent mess below her the Gym leader of Cerulean City was confused.

"Um, it's Misty, not Molly" says Misty who is definitely not Molly Ringwald.

Fumbling awkwardly to his feet, our lovable protagonist stands to face the red headed girl that idolized. Disheartened by the idea of this girl not being the real Molly Ringwald Connor realizes he had totally been betrayed again.

"How dare you not be Molly Ringwald! This is a bigger betrayal than when my father dry fired a gun against my head in his pickup truck" Connor shouted as he confronted the obviously sociopathic gym leader who was trying to trick him into thinking she was Molly.

"I never said I was named Molly... Why would I? I mean i'm a fucking gym leader and you're just some bitch who can't get laid. I'm the equivalent of a regional star... Wait, are you the guy who's been staring at me for the last hour?"

Connor, now feeling embarrassed by his out burst immediately attempts to back track, fumbling awkwardly across his words before he finally stumbles upon the phrase he was looking for. "I'm sorry. I mean it this time. From now on I'll try to improve." In his head Connor celebrated, perfectly using the panacea for any autism based fuckups. He grinned broadly at the gym leader, who was wondering why the fuck anything he was saying mattered.

"Okay, whatever you say." Misty says, slowly baking up from the talking pile of autism in front of her. At this moment Connor realized that even though this wasn't the real Molly Ringwald, she still was pretty enough and successful enough to take Molly's place.

"I can prove I can be better!" he yelled in an incredibly grating and autistic manner "I promise i'll have a pokemon battle won before tonight! That way you'll know I love you and want to improve!". Connor runs, but only for about 5 seconds before returning to walking because running requires too much effort, as he goes to find a challenger. He stumbles upon a fisherman at the nearby docks and immediately locks eyes with him. At that moment the battle was on.
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The fisherman seemed annoyed that his fishing trip was interrupted by a screeching child, but he was still a trainer, so battle he would.
"Goldeen! I choose you!" He threw his pokéball on the ground and it opened.
"Goldeen Goldeen." The Goldeen flopped around on the ground.
"I can do this! Go Charmander."
"Jesus H Christ you really are dumb." Connor's Pokédex said from his pocket.
"Fucky you Pokédex!"
"Fucky me? You're the dumb cow who's using a fire type against a water type."
"How am I supposed to know all this?!" Connor's face turned red.
"Dumbass, think about it. Water puts out fire, plants absorb water, and fire burns plants."
"DO NOT TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD!!!"
While Connor was arguing with the lifeless object, Goldeen had already knocked out Charmander, and the fisherman had left.
"Everytime I try I fail! What's the point!" Connor began to cry.
"Look bitch, you need to get laid." His Pokédex replied.
 
Pikonic said:
"Look bitch, you need to get laid." His Pokédex replied.
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diddle diddle.gif
 
I'm loving Connor Plays Pokémon so far! It's beautiful. :heart-full::heart-full::heart-full: And this has been productive! We have roughly 5,318 words! (Mind you, I included parts that wound up being excluded/not meshing with the story line in this count too.)

I have a random idea when/if we reach Vermilion City: Somehow, somehow, he manages to go to the Vermilion City Gym (no idea how he gets past the foot-high tree guarding the place), because damn it, he's going to get a Badge. Instead of Lt. Surge, he finds Chris-chan himself, who has relocated to the Gym with his mother after a small mix-up when looking for their rental house (something like a mistake in the address, but the Chandlers refuse to admit they're wrong). It's ideal: all of the trash cans inside provide ideal storage for miscellaneous Barbage, it's an electric-type Gym so Chris' TRUE and HONEST Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon are right at home (they could be either actual Sonichus/Rosechus, or just Pikachu/Raichu he's named Sonichu/Rosechu), and declaring himself "Gym Leader of CWCville" gives Chris the power rush he wants so badly. His badge, made from Crayola Model Magic, is the Chu Badge, and he acts as if this is a real Pokémon League badge (spoiler: no, it is not).

Connor battles Chris for a Badge, and surprisingly, Chris mops the floor with him, because a) Pokémon battling is one of the rare things Chris is slightly, slightly, competent at, even if he has next-to-no strategy; and b) Thanks to stress from the trolls and all of his exploits, his Pokémon are actually leveled up pretty well, far more than the "average" Pokémon in this area, and certainly more than Lt. Surge's. Chris gets all smug until Lt. Surge comes back from...vacation or somewhere, I don't know, and kicks Chris out. Connor's hope that Chris and Barbara receive punishment goes unfulfilled, because Lt. Surge doesn't want to be known as the asshole who tormented a poor adult autistic child and his mother, and Connor has a meltdown when he realizes he has to battle Lt. Surge, who actually knows what he's doing.

Also, Null gains more infamy when word gets out that he possesses not only the Thunder Badge, but also the rare and novel Chu Badge -- not that it counts as a real Badge, but it's interesting and a conversation-starter.

I've probably thought way too much about this, haven't I? *sigh*
 
Null confirmed to be an Elite Four member. I love how literally everything tells Connor that he should get laid.
 
Chipmunk's Bounty said:
I'm honestly hoping he comes back. In a weird way, I think I actually miss him.
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In a weird way? I know I like having him around. On that note, as bad as A-logging Connor is I can't say I really like the white knighting either. Telling him to stay away won't work, nor is it fun or entertaining.
 
Picklechu said:
This is fantastic. We seriously need to have a "create a story" thread for Connor Plays Pokemon. It's surprisingly compelling.
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I agree 200%. I would totally contribute to that thread and I know that others would, too (not to mention all of the people who would go along for the ride). Plus, it would keep this thread from getting derailed too badly.
 
Mauvman Shuffleboard said:
Here's another picture.
2Rmkxso.png

Featuring the All-Star crew of the Connor thread: @BOLDYSPICY!, @The Knife, @Smutley, and Abe the Gorilla.
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Mauv, you magnificent bastard!:heart-full: Thank you for brightening my day (since I was at the doctor's for most of it). GUESS WHO HAS A HORRIBLE KIDNEY INFECTION which is why I haven't posted/drawn much

EDIT:
Meowthkip said:
You should come join The Society.

I'm thinking we should move it over there.
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Cosmos said:
I agree 200%. I would totally contribute to that thread and I know that others would, too (not to mention all of the people who would go along for the ride). Plus, it would keep this thread from getting derailed too badly.
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But we can still have it over here for a bit, right? At least until our Halalcow wanders back into his pen?
 
Meowthkip said:
You should come join The Society.

I'm thinking we should move it over there.
Click to expand...
If the Connor Pokemon story is to become the round robin, I suppose I'll have to actually start playing Pokemon so that I'll be able to contribute.
 
Meowthkip said:
You should come join The Society.

I'm thinking we should move it over there.
Click to expand...
Cosmos said:
I agree 200%. I would totally contribute to that thread and I know that others would, too (not to mention all of the people who would go along for the ride). Plus, it would keep this thread from getting derailed too badly.
Click to expand...
Can we wait until Connor sees it? I'm not going to be absolutely sure he's seen it until our posts are marked down and he tells us all to fucky off.
 
BOLDYSPICY! said:
But we can still have it over here for a bit, right? At least until our Halalcow wanders back into his pen?
Click to expand...

MysticMisty said:
Can we wait until Connor sees it? I'm not going to be absolutely sure he's seen it until our posts are marked down and he tells us all to fucky off.
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Yeah, we can do that.

I just hadn't uh, started a Round Robin because I've been working on something else lately. :oops:

Hat said:
If the Connor Pokemon story is to become the round robin, I suppose I'll have to actually start playing Pokemon so that I'll be able to contribute.
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Oh dang, I just kind of assume most people have played it.

You should give it a shot though, because they're fun little games.
 
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