🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
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He’s literally the weakest person I’ve ever heard of. He’s been allowed to live like a child well into his 30’s and life is still too hard for him. He should thank his parents for giving him such an easy life by killing himself. Absolutely worthless human being.
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Covertchinchilla said:
He’s literally the weakest person I’ve ever heard of. He’s been allowed to live like a child well into his 30’s and life is still too hard for him. He should thank his parents for giving him such an easy life by killing himself. Absolutely worthless human being.
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You know what a normal person would do? Try to fix it and change your situation. But no. Even taking one course a semester was too difficult for our boy Connor. And it wasn't like he was doing anything useful the rest of the time other than other than writing his shitty fanfiction, cooming to Mary Ringwald or being terminally online.

Even the retards that are employed by supermarkets to wrangle the shopping carts have some worth. Connor doesn't even have that. All his grand talk of being a writer and what has he done? Nothing.
 
Trombonista said:
I believe so, but I don't think he's found a job.
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Doesn't his mom make him work in a thrift store?

Covertchinchilla said:
He’s literally the weakest person I’ve ever heard of. He’s been allowed to live like a child well into his 30’s and life is still too hard for him.
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Maybe he's not talking about his life story, but rather his genetics? Even then it is still surely not the "worst possible hand" to be born a white autistic male in the USA.
 
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Yeah, his mom takes him to work in a thrift store. He works in the morning during the week. I think it's a job for retired 70 year olds who want something to do. Connor finds it stressful.
There's a chance he's talking about his genetics, but I think he's too narcissistic to think that his shitty life is his fault.
I think he knows he's stupid though, at least on some level.. It's why he watches obscure asian exploitation movies. So he can sound like he's an expert about movies by referencing things no one else bothers looking for. If he were to get into a conversation with an actual non-dickhead cinephile about something like Seven Samurai he'd be exposed as ignorant pretty quickly. It's also the reason why he hates "modern cinema".
And since I know he still lurks here:
Connor go watch some Akira Kurasawa and some Masaki Kobayashi movies. I guarantee they didn't pander to the "lowest common denominator."
 
Covertchinchilla said:
Yeah, his mom takes him to work in a thrift store. He works in the morning during the week. I think it's a job for retired 70 year olds who want something to do. Connor finds it stressful.
There's a chance he's talking about his genetics, but I think he's too narcissistic to think that his shitty life is his fault.
I think he knows he's stupid though, at least on some level.. It's why he watches obscure asian exploitation movies. So he can sound like he's an expert about movies by referencing things no one else bothers looking for. If he were to get into a conversation with an actual non-dickhead cinephile about something like Seven Samurai he'd be exposed as ignorant pretty quickly. It's also the reason why he hates "modern cinema".
And since I know he still lurks here:
Connor go watch some Akira Kurasawa and some Masaki Kobayashi movies. I guarantee they didn't pander to the "lowest common denominator."
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He volunteers about 4 hours day. It's not something he gets paid for. I believe he has been doing this for around 3 years. I think it's supposed to help him to be able to get a paid position.
 
Smicneibn said:
I think it's supposed to help him to be able to get a paid position.
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So it's been 3 years and he is still in an unpaid position? I think that's about what we all expected. If it's been this long I doubt it will ever change. They would have hired him by now if they thought he was capable.
 
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