🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
TrippinKahlua said:
@Connor Bible did you get a Kettlebell yet?

In the last month I started a new KB program and the results are outrageous. My back-arms have become huge.
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You know this hasn't happened. Just as his "writing" isn't happening.

Connor will forever be making excuses as to why he can't achieve his goals. I just wonder what will fill that void when he finishes college (or drops out)
 
Smutley said:
The simple fact I'm posting these links here means Connor will probably never update them again. And even though I'm still super mad at him for the whole Vordrak betrayal I still love his writing and wish he'd show us more.
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Traitorous as that was, I highly doubt Connor knew who he was dealing with (maybe that's the real reason Connor never released the emails, because Vordrak was threatening him but who knows). They do have a mutual interest in unhealthy obsessions with female celebrities, though.
 
If it got any slower it might go in reverse.
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Autists aren't human tho
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Smutley said:
If it got any slower it might go in reverse.
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Autists aren't human tho
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Connor should actually just write what he does each day, on an hour-by-hour basis. I'd love to see a total of how much time he spends masturbating, walking with grandma, and re-watching old VHS movies, and compare that with the time he can't seem to find for writing. But then, @Connor Bible is so sure he knows better than us.
 
@Connor Bible You should go to AspieCon. It's in North Carolina. Like, you can be kiwifarms' undercover reporter on the spergfest.

You can be a hardboiled investigative journalist, getting the scoop on all the spergy shenanigans going down at Aspiecon.

Write us an article.
 
Smutley said:
Connor you are a gay.
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:story:
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YOU TELL EM CONNOR!!
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lol spooky
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MOLLY, PBS IS DEAD!
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Wasn't he browbeating Molly months earlier over talking shit about Trump?
Molly @Smutley, do you know where these caps are?
Smutley said:
Now, remember, Connor has been really upset with Molly for posting anti-trump maymays. REALLY MAD, even though he apologized and also doesn't like trump and most likely won't vote in the election because he didn't register and also because he can't drive and because it cuts into his masturbation and movie times, but he's still mad.
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Wait, so this guy Connor actually goes on about Molly Ringwald like she's his mother or something? I've seen all sorts of weirdos but this one stands out like, he can't function if she were to pass away.
 
DorthVader said:
Wait, so this guy Connor actually goes on about Molly Ringwald like she's his mother or something? I've seen all sorts of weirdos but this one stands out like, he can't function if she were to pass away.
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We expect you to read a 600+ page thread. Just thought I'd let you know that.
 
DorthVader said:
Wait, so this guy Connor actually goes on about Molly Ringwald like she's his mother or something? I've seen all sorts of weirdos but this one stands out like, he can't function if she were to pass away.
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He described his vision of Molly Ringwald almost as a sort of triple Goddess with multiple incarnations. "Mother" Molly was the protector, who nurtures him and keeps him safe, "Sister" Molly I think was also like a protector who would fight for him and also be a person to confide in, and "Lover" Molly was, well....the one whose bellybutton he wants to put ice cubes in.
 
DorthVader said:
he can't function if she were to pass away.
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If Ms Ringwald passed away, Connor would cry, masturbate to comfort himself until his balls didn't work anymore, be unable to write 2 sentences, and neglect his personal hygiene to the point of getting crotch fungus. So basically he'd function just as well as he always does.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
Still trying to get a married woman to notice him, I see.
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A married woman old enough to be his mother. That would be like chasing after Harrison Ford because of how he looked in the 70's. Though at least he's known for a lot more movies than a small handful of teen chick flicks.
 
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