🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Believe it or not - there's another standard Connor phrase. Also note the language - he HAS two books, he hasn't READ two books. He's giving a book report synopsis for novels he's never read of movies his mom won't let him watch :story:
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This thread was recommended to me after a couple posts in the Assigned Male thread, and I have been reading this with great interest and indeed amusement. I can say one thing about Connor: Nothing will inspire a man more than seeing someone absolutely fail at everything.
 
AngeloTheWizard said:
This thread was recommended to me after a couple posts in the Assigned Male thread, and I have been reading this with great interest and indeed amusement. I can say one thing about Connor: Nothing will inspire a man more than seeing someone absolutely fail at everything.
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Connor doesn't so much fail at everything so much as he doesn't even bother trying in the first place.
 
sikotik said:
Connor doesn't so much fail at everything so much as he doesn't even bother trying in the first place.
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I dunno, some of the examples of his "art" from WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY back in this thread are some real damn failures.

It is true he doesn't really try. Still makes me want to push myself to get better and do more.
 
Feline Darkmage said:
I sometimes wonder how much Connor actually legitimately reads.
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I think he's read (or has explicitly claimed to have read):

Silence of the Lambs
The Shining
All Quiet on the Western Front
Dracula
American Psycho

There's probably some other Stephen King bullshit, but thats about it. So if you believe what he says, he seems to be doing about a book a year. Such a little bookworm.
 
lol finally a ride in the truck without his dad pulling a gun and shoving it in Connor's face.

Wait.

Nice drive? Scenic route?? Knockin' on Heaven's Door??? incoherent???? "a little relaxed"????? I think Connor's dad date raped him.
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Thank god there's a movie version.
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r00 said:
I think he's read (or has explicitly claimed to have read):

Silence of the Lambs
The Shining
All Quiet on the Western Front
Dracula
American Psycho

There's probably some other Stephen King bullshit, but thats about it. So if you believe what he says, he seems to be doing about a book a year. Such a little bookworm.
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Last I heard Connor was claiming to be reading The Shining, but he hadn't read a whole lot before he stopped talking about it, and that was ages ago. I think it's more like Connor looks up the synopsis, focuses on the "differences from adaptation" section to seem familiar with the subject when applicable, and then talks about it. Connor doesn't have the patience for reading, not even young adult novels.
 
Feline Darkmage said:
I sometimes wonder how much Connor actually legitimately reads.
Click to expand...
r00 said:
I think he's read (or has explicitly claimed to have read):

Silence of the Lambs
The Shining
All Quiet on the Western Front
Dracula
American Psycho

There's probably some other Stephen King bullshit, but thats about it. So if you believe what he says, he seems to be doing about a book a year. Such a little bookworm.
Click to expand...
MysticMisty said:
Last I heard Connor was claiming to be reading The Shining, but he hadn't read a whole lot before he stopped talking about it, and that was ages ago. I think it's more like Connor looks up the synopsis, focuses on the "differences from adaptation" section to seem familiar with the subject when applicable, and then talks about it. Connor doesn't have the patience for reading, not even young adult novels.
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Connor has written more books than he's read.

Don't proceed with this line of thought unless you were good at fractions in school.
 
Handsome Pete said:
Connor has written more books than he's read.

Don't proceed with this line of thought unless you were good at fractions in school.
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Look, guys. Reading is really hard. You have to sit there and just stare at the words, and it's really hard to concentrate on the B-grade monster movies when you have a book in front of you. Also, when you have such a stressful life of a full-time job as a student at college, with ONE really hard class, and Connor's extremely busy social life, how do you expect the man to find any time to read?

Besides, if he doesn't dedicate the necessary free time to write, he might not finish "Alphaboy" by his planned deadline of 2025
 
Connor said he read the 1984 and he bitched about the ending, he might have had to read that in school (do they even read 1984 in schools?)
 
Bugaboo said:
(do they even read 1984 in schools?)
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In non-sped classes I think there's a pretty good chance in some schools they do. We didn't, but only because we read an Ayn Rand dystopian instead (personally I thought it was shit). Wasn't Connor in the sped classes in school, though? I would expect 1984 is way too advanced for most sped students, Connor included since he actively avoids books (or at least actually reading them).
 
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