🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
It's that time of year again; NaNoWriMo preperation is underway and Conner has declared his novel for the year. He seems to have deleted Alphaboy from his Novels page. What do you think Kiwis, can he do it?
http://nanowrimo.org/participants/carolina-boy

View attachment 144006

I'd say that fanfic could be some good practice material for Connor since there's no need for him to establish his own universe and her can get right to the plot bits, but even that would be too much for him.
 
I'd say that fanfic could be some good practice material for Connor since there's no need for him to establish his own universe and her can get right to the plot bits, but even that would be too much for him.

That's implying Connor has read or watched enough of something to write a competent fanfic.
Unless he's writing one about Molly Ringwald's bellybutton and even then I doubt his ability to get past a few hundred words.
 
That's implying Connor has read or watched enough of something to write a competent fanfic.
Unless he's writing one about Molly Ringwald's bellybutton and even then I doubt his ability to get past a few hundred words.

He should just do that already, then. Fuck, you know he's itching to, might as well get it out of his system so maybe he could concentrate on other shit for more than five fucking minutes.
 
Connor never reads, except for message boards and the occasional Wikipedia article. He's much like Chris in that sense. The difference is Chris used to read low-level children's books and I have no idea if Connor has ever finished a book that wasn't a picture book. I won't go as far to say that Connor never even finished one of those, but I'm sure his evil bitch mother and son of a bitch father forced him to sit through something.

Hey, @Connor Bible what picture books did you have as a kid? And who did you prefer to read to you?
 
That's implying Connor has read or watched enough of something to write a competent fanfic.
Unless he's writing one about Molly Ringwald's bellybutton and even then I doubt his ability to get past a few hundred words.

The only James Bond movie Connor has watched, that I'm aware of, is a Timmothy Dalton one he caught on cable. That has turned into a month long super spy obsession.
 
Most of the old Ian Fleming Bond novels are around 250 pages (i.e. pretty short). How long do you think it'd take Connor to finish one, assuming he's actually capable of reading an entire book?

He read All Quiet on the Western Front for class, remember? He even wrote a book report about it!!!

Oh hey, that's one thing he has in common with Queen Molly's sworn enemy, Donald Trump....that's probably the last book either of them have ever fucking read.
 
He read All Quiet on the Western Front for class, remember? He even wrote a book report about it!!!

if you believe anything that was written in the report, Conner actually read Im Westen nichts Neues, which is better known by uncultured, illiterate plebs like you and I as All Quiet on the Western front

assuming he's actually capable of reading an entire book?

He has proven time and time again that he is in fact totally incapable of finishing anything that he starts.
 
The closest thing Connor has to any kind of a goal is to be a writer, but to be a good writer, there's two things that are an absolute must:

1.) Read a lot of literature
2.) Live a lot of life

Sad that he absolutely refuses to do either.
 
Reading a little bit and living a little bit would both be huge steps up for Connor.

I thought the Boyd Bond was okay. Certainly better than the Sebastian Faulks Bond.
 
Yes, I'm going to be writing a James Bond fanfic. I think a measly 180-200 pages would be a lark. I'm actually reading a James Bond book right now, Brokenclaw by John Gardner. I'm 116-ish pages in. Also, I've got a new therapist, and he's fucking awesome. He's of the CBT school, and already it's doing wonders. I'm also going to be regularly writing in my thought journal. It'll help me track, analyze, and stop maladaptive behavioral patterns dead in their tracks.
 
Yes, I'm going to be writing a James Bond fanfic. I think a measly 180-200 pages would be a lark. I'm actually reading a James Bond book right now, Brokenclaw by John Gardner. I'm 116-ish pages in. Also, I've got a new therapist, and he's fucking awesome. He's of the CBT school, and already it's doing wonders. I'm also going to be regularly writing in my thought journal. It'll help me track, analyze, and stop maladaptive behavioral patterns dead in their tracks.
Sounds like you're doing really well, I'm glad to hear it. How long have you been reading Brokenclaw for? And what do you think of Gardner's writing?
 
Yes, I'm going to be writing a James Bond fanfic. I think a measly 180-200 pages would be a lark. I'm actually reading a James Bond book right now, Brokenclaw by John Gardner. I'm 116-ish pages in. Also, I've got a new therapist, and he's fucking awesome. He's of the CBT school, and already it's doing wonders. I'm also going to be regularly writing in my thought journal. It'll help me track, analyze, and stop maladaptive behavioral patterns dead in their tracks.

Glad to see you back, Connor.

What does the the thought journal look like? Did he give you a specific form-type sheet to fill out or is it more freestyle journaling? I've also seen people keep thought journals as simply charting their mood out of 10 over the course of a day, with key words or simple descriptions of what events and thoughts they are experiencing.
 
Yes, I'm going to be writing a James Bond fanfic. I think a measly 180-200 pages would be a lark. I'm actually reading a James Bond book right now, Brokenclaw by John Gardner. I'm 116-ish pages in. Also, I've got a new therapist, and he's fucking awesome. He's of the CBT school, and already it's doing wonders. I'm also going to be regularly writing in my thought journal. It'll help me track, analyze, and stop maladaptive behavioral patterns dead in their tracks.
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(Been getting a lot of use out of this lately, thanks @BOLDYSPICY!)
 
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