🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Connor Bible]

Funny how you can manage to write a college paper in an X amount of time, but for your literature...

Spoiler: 10 years later

View attachment 77536

Fiction's a different beast than academic writing. You know I'm a monstrous perfectionist.

 

[Ruin]

I've been giving a lot of thought to the storyline of RE, and I've made some changes. Eva's got a better motivation for being redesigned, there's a couple of new characters, etc.

Anybody can claim to do something. I myself perfected cold fusion and wrote six novels over my morning coffee.

Post proof or gtfo.

Fiction's a different beast than academic writing. You know I'm a monstrous perfectionist

This is fucking adorable coming from someone who can't handle more than one community college class.

 

[Connor Bible]

For starters, prior to redesigning, Eva's suffering from numerous birth defects, including premature aging. This is the unfortunate side effect of the fertility treatments that Eva's mother, Dr. Cheryl Elliot, subjected herself to. Said fertility treatments also conceived Dr. Klaus Krieger and Lilith Grant. Dr. Krieger was the healthiest of the three, if only physically. Lilith grew up with a preoccupied father, Vincent, and an abusive mother who called her a monster because of her jaundiced red eyes and elongated fingers. Lilith is strongly implied to have killed her mother. In addition, Lilith turns out to be responsible for brutally murdering Cheryl, having blamed her for making her into a freak. Eva was home at the time of her mother's murder, but was experiencing a blackout; because of this, Eva has a profound guilt complex.

A few years later, Dr. Klaus Krieger, having been remanded to the custody of the Prometheus Corporation for the murders he committed, comes up with Project Catharsis. Vincent Grant was looking for a means of curing his daughter's defects/madness, and contacted the Corporation through a middleman. Lilith is given the serum, but didn't get into the redesigning chamber as Eva did. Instead of making her better, the serum arguably made Lilith worse. She begins to kill again, targeting attractive girls from Eva's school and butchering them as they are home alone. At the same time, the police department of Sheridan, Florida, is hoping to beef up their force through Catharsis. Hopefully, if Catharsis is successful, it can be used to enhance the military as well. The cops are having a hard time apprehending the killer... what they need is a super-profiler. Eva's mother was murdered in a very similar method as the girls, so why not redesign the girl, give her a chance to catch the killer and live out her dream of being a profiler?

 

[Ruin]

For starters, prior to redesigning, Eva's suffering from numerous birth defects, including premature aging. This is the unfortunate side effect of the fertility treatments that Eva's mother, Dr. Cheryl Elliot, subjected herself to. Said fertility treatments also conceived Dr. Klaus Krieger and Lilith Grant. Dr. Krieger was the healthiest of the three, if only physically. Lilith grew up with a preoccupied father, Vincent, and an abusive mother who called her a monster because of her jaundiced red eyes and elongated fingers. Lilith is strongly implied to have killed her mother. In addition, Lilith turns out to be responsible for brutally murdering Cheryl, having blamed her for making her into a freak. Eva was home at the time of her mother's murder, but was experiencing a blackout; because of this, Eva has a profound guilt complex.

A few years later, Dr. Klaus Krieger, having been remanded to the custody of the Prometheus Corporation for the murders he committed, comes up with Project Catharsis. Vincent Grant was looking for a means of curing his daughter's defects/madness, and contacted the Corporation through a middleman. Lilith is given the serum, but didn't get into the redesigning chamber as Eva did. Instead of making her better, the serum arguably made Lilith worse. She begins to kill again, targeting attractive girls from Eva's school and butchering them as they are home alone. At the same time, the police department of Sheridan, Florida, is hoping to beef up their force through Catharsis. Hopefully, if Catharsis is successful, it can be used to enhance the military as well. The cops are having a hard time apprehending the killer... what they need is a super-profiler. Eva's mother was murdered in a very similar method as the girls, so why not redesign the girl, give her a chance to catch the killer and live out her dream of being a profiler?

This is a mix of L from Death Note and Criminal minds.

Have you ever had an original thought?

 

[EI 903]

This is a mix of L from Death Note and Criminal minds.

Have you ever had an original thought?

He doesn't read enough to recognize cliches and builds his plots like Chris builds Sonichu. He's not capable of original thoughts because he doesn't give himself the tools.

 

[The Knife]

For starters, prior to redesigning, Eva's suffering from numerous birth defects, including premature aging. This is the unfortunate side effect of the fertility treatments that Eva's mother, Dr. Cheryl Elliot, subjected herself to. Said fertility treatments also conceived Dr. Klaus Krieger and Lilith Grant. Dr. Krieger was the healthiest of the three, if only physically. Lilith grew up with a preoccupied father, Vincent, and an abusive mother who called her a monster because of her jaundiced red eyes and elongated fingers. Lilith is strongly implied to have killed her mother. In addition, Lilith turns out to be responsible for brutally murdering Cheryl, having blamed her for making her into a freak. Eva was home at the time of her mother's murder, but was experiencing a blackout; because of this, Eva has a profound guilt complex.

A few years later, Dr. Klaus Krieger, having been remanded to the custody of the Prometheus Corporation for the murders he committed, comes up with Project Catharsis. Vincent Grant was looking for a means of curing his daughter's defects/madness, and contacted the Corporation through a middleman. Lilith is given the serum, but didn't get into the redesigning chamber as Eva did. Instead of making her better, the serum arguably made Lilith worse. She begins to kill again, targeting attractive girls from Eva's school and butchering them as they are home alone. At the same time, the police department of Sheridan, Florida, is hoping to beef up their force through Catharsis. Hopefully, if Catharsis is successful, it can be used to enhance the military as well. The cops are having a hard time apprehending the killer... what they need is a super-profiler. Eva's mother was murdered in a very similar method as the girls, so why not redesign the girl, give her a chance to catch the killer and live out her dream of being a profiler?

Wait...how far as society broken down if a serial murderer is being remanded into the custody of a private corporation? Why is he still allowed access to technology that could easily fuck up human beings when it's established that he fucks up human beings for funsies? Why wouldn't the military have had access to Catharsis technology first, long before an inconsequential police department in a podunk Florida town? When did you switch the setting to Florida? If Eva was passed out cold while Lilith was murdering Cheryl, why didn't Lilith take the opportunity to murder Eva as well? Who the fuck names their child "Lilith"? Why didn't Lilith get the other half of the treatment? If they're trying to catch a murderer who has killed before and will kill again, why not stick one of their actual fully-trained adult profilers on the case instead of waiting around while Eva goes through the redesigning process and presumably graduates from criminal law and psych? If Lilith is murdering attractive young classmates, why did she murder that one mean teacher? Why do I even remember so many details of this ridiculous story? What is wrong with me?

 

[JU 199]

@Connor Bible Yeah, It's poor. Just like all the other times we've read it.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Wait...how far as society broken down if a serial murderer is being remanded into the custody of a private corporation? Why is he still allowed access to technology that could easily fuck up human beings when it's established that he fucks up human beings for funsies? Why wouldn't the military have had access to Catharsis technology first, long before an inconsequential police department in a podunk Florida town? When did you switch the setting to Florida? If Eva was passed out cold while Lilith was murdering Cheryl, why didn't Lilith take the opportunity to murder Eva as well? Who the fuck names their child "Lilith"? Why didn't Lilith get the other half of the treatment? If they're trying to catch a murderer who has killed before and will kill again, why not stick one of their actual fully-trained adult profilers on the case instead of waiting around while Eva goes through the redesigning process and presumably graduates from criminal law and psych? If Lilith is murdering attractive young classmates, why did she murder that one mean teacher? Why do I even remember so many details of this ridiculous story? What is wrong with me?

The answer to everything you wrote is:

Spoiler: are you really surprised?

Autism

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

what I want to know is why the villain is named after one of Tangerine Dream's former drummers

 

[Ruin]

Inb4 angry Connor shows up to whine about how we're all simpletons who can't appreciate his "genius."

 

[Lorento]

In addition, Lilith turns out to be responsible for brutally murdering Cheryl, having blamed her for making her into a freak. Eva was home at the time of her mother's murder, but was experiencing a blackout; because of this, Eva has a profound guilt complex.

I have to question this because it seems very contrived. So you are telling me that a deranged lunatic would spare a child having killed her mother? If she wanted to make Cheryl pay, why didn't she kill Eva as well, that's a classic revenge format. I'd also add that the 'Guilt Complex' is a huge cliche and I have a horrible feeling that Eva will be defined by this characteristic alone and suffer from the classic 'Frozen Psychology' that plagues amateur fiction.

3/10.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

This is a mix of L from Death Note and Criminal minds.

Have you ever had an original thought?

To be fair, nobody has had a really original thought for hundreds of years now. Everything can be traced back to something that somebody has already done even if you need to reach for it. Star Wars is the Hero's Journey, it's a Space Opera, it incorporates heavily from Joseph Campbell's, "The Power of Myth", the Jedi are based in part on Japanese Samurai, Darth Vader's helmet is similar to a Samurai's helmet and so on. But put it together in the proper way and you have a fun and dare I say it almost compelling story. It becomes something new and it itself becomes something to be copied.

The difference is how you approach the subject matter. Do it in a way that is cliched and obvious and you have what Connor comes up with. Do it in a way that feels fresh even with the obvious homage in plain view and you have Quentin Tarantino. It all comes down to how it is you work your craft.

Connor needs to learn how to write before he truly is able to simply write.

 

[JU 199]

1) You come back and say you've changed <----- YOU ARE HERE
2) You show some promise and effort
3) You begin to make excuses
4) You then get salty when farms point out 3)
5) You have a meltdown and pretend to leave forever

 

[Hat]

Found this in my inbox on WP.

Hi, Connor! My name is "kouya". (well, it's not, but that's the temporary username I registered under here)

I saw some samples of your writing online and I find it quite interesting. I'm also somewhat of an aspiring amateur writer and I was curious about getting in touch with you and I guess just trying to strike up a conversation and see if we have anything interesting to talk about. Like your story of "Redesigning Eva", mine (tentatively/temporarily titled "The Delight of the Quagmire") is, in a way, a noir story. It's about an American man who lives in Tokyo circa 1965 and becomes obsessed with an actress he sees in an erotic film. He goes deep into the seedy world of those films in order to find her, and gradually loses his mind as he lets the obsession overtake him. I've not worked on it for a couple of months now, sadly (I can't get much writing done because of schoolwork), but I still want to continue writing it.

I read what I could find of your Eva here on WP (the first chapter?), and I saw that you have a Facebook page for your writing, but I wasn't sure if it was really you behind it since you seem to have had some trouble with trolls? I didn't really want to take my chances so I thought the best way to contact you and be sure it was you was via this website.

If you're interested in talking (or if you're not), let me know! We could chat about writing or movies (we seem to have similar genre tastes in that as well; I like horror films with an intellectual or psychological element as well as many other kinds of films) or just anything in general. I prefer to talk via email; I wanted to write you this message as an email but I couldn't find your address on this website or on Facebook. My address is (REDACTED), but if you don't like email, we could also use XMPP or Skype.

Cheers,
Kouya

I thought you said you quit Wrong Planet.

 

[JU 199]

I thought you said you quit Wrong Planet.

'I thought' is not in Connor's vocabulary. 'Quit' is though.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Found this in my inbox on WP.

Hi, Connor! My name is "kouya". (well, it's not, but that's the temporary username I registered under here)

I saw some samples of your writing online and I find it quite interesting. I'm also somewhat of an aspiring amateur writer and I was curious about getting in touch with you and I guess just trying to strike up a conversation and see if we have anything interesting to talk about. Like your story of "Redesigning Eva", mine (tentatively/temporarily titled "The Delight of the Quagmire") is, in a way, a noir story. It's about an American man who lives in Tokyo circa 1965 and becomes obsessed with an actress he sees in an erotic film. He goes deep into the seedy world of those films in order to find her, and gradually loses his mind as he lets the obsession overtake him. I've not worked on it for a couple of months now, sadly (I can't get much writing done because of schoolwork), but I still want to continue writing it.

I read what I could find of your Eva here on WP (the first chapter?), and I saw that you have a Facebook page for your writing, but I wasn't sure if it was really you behind it since you seem to have had some trouble with trolls? I didn't really want to take my chances so I thought the best way to contact you and be sure it was you was via this website.

If you're interested in talking (or if you're not), let me know! We could chat about writing or movies (we seem to have similar genre tastes in that as well; I like horror films with an intellectual or psychological element as well as many other kinds of films) or just anything in general. I prefer to talk via email; I wanted to write you this message as an email but I couldn't find your address on this website or on Facebook. My address is (REDACTED), but if you don't like email, we could also use XMPP or Skype.

Cheers,
Kouya

So. . .what are we supposed to do with this information?

So, in other news, I'm just about done with a paper for my Human Growth and Development class, I'm almost through reading Bram Stoker's Dracula, and I've got a new Brother GX-6750 because the other one was seriously on the fritz. I'm working on the next drafts of Alphaboy and RE, and some short stories.

Cool. Keep it up.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Human Growth and Development
I smell irony.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I smell irony.

Nah, that's the crotch rot.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

So, in other news, I'm just about done with a paper for my Human Growth and Development class, I'm almost through reading Bram Stoker's Dracula, and I've got a new Brother GX-6750 because the other one was seriously on the fritz. I'm working on the next drafts of Alphaboy and RE, and some short stories.

Omg just give up with the fucking typewriter.

 

[Picklechu]

Algernop Krieger is best Dr. Krieger.