Chris court appearance

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F_Break said:
It already sounds like it's only a matter of time before he finds himself being dragged out of court by the bailiffs. If he's already tarding out during court appearance #1, I can't imagine how angry he's going to be by the second one.
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His lawyer will probably advise Chris take a plea. I really doubt this will actually go to trial
 
deeman said:
What is the odds of him Curse-Ye-HA the judge in his face, earning the death sentence?
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We've never seen how Chris acts after a lengthy time behind bars. Possibly, he turns into a groveling, pleading wreck. I think he remains the complete and utter asshole we know, though.
Zilch said:
His lawyer will probably advise Chris take a plea. I really doubt this will actually go to trial
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A plea to what though? Life in prison? Why would a prosecutor give Chris a plea that he'd take? I mean seriously, the dude is looking at life. Why would he plead to that?
 
ResignedCustodes said:
You mean a death sentence for the judge, surely?
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Just gonna post this here, because why not...

Remember all his Curse-YE-HA-ME-HA and all the trouble he went through to curse the trolls?

One of my favorite moments was when Alec Benson-Leary (I think?) made him REMOVE a curse, and Chris just did this 1 second gay little hand movement and went “Curse removed, there!”

Idk why but every time I see that it cracks me up.

I can warmly recommend it as a “Classic Chris” moment if you ever need to forget about the current “Incest-Tranny” version of Chris.
Hogar Grupal said:
Yep. Everyone working on Chris' case now knows of his past, especially his deviancy (having sex with his blowup dolls, sitting on cakes). This, aside from being incarcerated, is probably the best punishment for Chris after years of being spoiled, entitled, and getting away with stuff. He has to know years on creeping up on women are going to take their toll.
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Not a big proponent of “Short, Sharp, Shock” school of fixing juvenile/first time offender delinquency.

But fuck, I’m probably not alone when saying that Chris should have been put in the slammer for a few months the first time he broke the law, and DEFINETELY by the time of the BLARMS macing.

Jail time rarely improves an individual, but in Chris’s case I’m pretty sure it would have done exactly that.

(If not for anything else, then because it would have transformed “breaking the law” from some totally abstract concept in his autistic mind to: “Breaking the law is BAD because they take all your toys and put you away for some months.”

Unfortunately, it’s probably way too late for jailtime to have any positive effect on Chris now, and it is more likely to ruin it through sinking the tugboat.
 
Floralfeline said:
I don't know. Everfree and a free 5,000 bucks seemed pretty important to him. It was something he was looking forward to and with his autistic way of remembering important dates, I bet he knows it's going on. He could've been in a nice hotel room, but now has to sit in a cell and miss out on the giant pony party.
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This is what I keep thinking. I don't think up until these last few days has he actually started to grasp an inkling of the situation he is in. I wonder if he's sperging out right now over missing out.
 
AnOminous said:
We've never seen how Chris acts after a lengthy time behind bars. Possibly, he turns into a groveling, pleading wreck. I think he remains the complete and utter asshole we know, though.
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I think Chris is going to spin being locked up as proof of the dimensional merge occurring, but some new villain has emerged and responsible for him being incarcerated.

He literally has nothing but time now. I doubt he'll use it for self reflection and planning for a future without Barb and 14b, but dive even further into his delusions. Really hope there's a detailed report on his next court appearance. What we've seen so far was only after several days of being jailed, it'll be fascinating to see how he behaves after six weeks in lock up.
 
deeman said:
What is the odds of him Curse-Ye-HA the judge in his face, earning the death sentence?
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Chris trying to inflict a CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HAAA on the judge would be funny as hell, and probably the perfect capstone to the story of Chris-Chan.
It's pretty likely. Chris has shown time and time again, that history repeats itself. He curses Mary Lee Walsh, he gets expelled from his college. He curses the judge, he gets expelled from functional society.

The only end result would be him being held in contempt of court, which would be moot if one of the charges he gets arraigned on later is rape, since the penalty for that is life.
Any other misdemeanour or felony, however, would be him adding more time to his sentence, because if there's one constant about Chris, it's that if he's expected to fuck up, he will fuck up with flying colours. (Though to be honest, given how badly he's ruined his finances, maybe adding more time in jail would be a good thing for him.)

However, as hilarious as that would be, chances are that Chris won't say anything. His lawyer will tell him to STFU, and it'll be one big anti-climax, like Ethan Ralph's sex life.

As for the death penalty, don't expect to see something spectacular like Chris-Chan frying like a tie-dyed egg while his big fat belly jiggles in time to the voltage and the chants of JULAY from the ween audience. Everybody and their grandpa knows that Chris is a retard, and he'll be sentenced as a retard. A mental institution is the place for him, because life in prison will be tantamount to people lining up to take progressively smellier dumps on Chris before the last one in line stabs him in the face.


....by the way. It just occurred to me that a probable defense the lawyer can use is that Chris was off of his meds. Note that all of this crazier behaviour we've seen from Chris lately came after he said so on social media.
 
Nutritious_Banana said:
Prisonchu, the electric convict Pokémon
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"You can't give me the chair, jerkop!" Prisonchu growled at the advancing guards, his 'I heart barb' and other shit meme prison tats suddenly glowing with an electric blue hue, like an overripe banana struck by lighting. The cacophony of a million static bursts stopped the armor-clad goons in their tracks as the tiny sparks coalesced into a massive ball of plasma.
Prisonchu grimaced, took one defiant step back, and then with a eardrum-shattering roar hurled the ball of certain death at the soon-evaporated jerkops, forever immortalizing the moment of his victory with the heroic battle cry:
"I AM THE CHAIR!"
 
I don’t know if this has been already discussed, but what would happen to Chris’ tugboat in case that he’s convicted?
 
Jose Cuervo said:
I don’t know if this has been already discussed, but what would happen to Chris’ tugboat in the case that he’s convicted?
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It gets frozen. Chris will receive no payment while he's incarcerated.

If he gets out before 12 months, it'll be re-instated. If he gets out after. he'll have to re-apply for said benefits.
If he gets life, they'll never be re-instated.
If he gets the chair, we get Liquid Chris, the true Chris, to collect said tardbucks and convert 14 Branchland Court into a big museum of fail, complete with an orange Fanta fountain in front.

Barb can even be the tour guide providing she doesn't freak out any small children by staring holes into their souls.
 
El Rodrigo said:
It gets frozen. Chris will receive no payment while he's incarcerated.

If he gets out before 12 months, it'll be re-instated. If he gets out after. he'll have to re-apply for said benefits.
If he gets life, they'll never be re-instated.
If he gets the chair, we get Liquid Chris, the true Chris, to collect said tardbucks and convert 14 Branchland Court into a big museum of fail, complete with an orange Fanta fountain in front.

Barb can even be the tour guide providing she doesn't freak out any small children by staring holes into their souls.
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Okay I think that would be the most bittersweet outcome for this entire fiasco, Chris succumbs to his own desire for the love quest to dramatically end with a bang and is quickly brushed to the side in prison for his own mistakes whilst his legacy is a tale for the internet weirdos about what delusion and spite does to an autistic man guided by being horny.

So have fun in jail Chris, not

BONK ! ! !
 
El Rodrigo said:
It gets frozen. Chris will receive no payment while he's incarcerated.

If he gets out before 12 months, it'll be re-instated. If he gets out after. he'll have to re-apply for said benefits.
If he gets life, they'll never be re-instated.
If he gets the chair, we get Liquid Chris, the true Chris, to collect said tardbucks and convert 14 Branchland Court into a big museum of fail, complete with an orange Fanta fountain in front.

Barb can even be the tour guide providing she doesn't freak out any small children by staring holes into their souls.
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AnOminous said:
A plea to what though? Life in prison? Why would a prosecutor give Chris a plea that he'd take? I mean seriously, the dude is looking at life. Why would he plead to that?
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Woha, wait is there something I missed. Last time I checked in wikipedia the penalty was 5 to 15 years and 500 to 5000 dollars fine. What do you guys mean he's looking at life in prison?
 
Flavius Anthemius said:
Okay I think that would be the most bittersweet outcome for this entire fiasco, Chris succumbs to his own desire for the love quest to dramatically end with a bang and is quickly brushed to the side in prison for his own mistakes whilst his legacy is a tale for the internet weirdos about what delusion and spite does to an autistic man guided by being horny.

So have fun in jail Chris, not

BONK ! ! !
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his love quest will never be an issue with all the other inmates around him lol
 
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