UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Hoi Polloi]

i had an errand to do today in westminster and totally forgot about the rally occurring and ended up walking through the entire thing

 

[Otterly]

Oh syuuuuure you haven't.

Genuinely, and I must defend my literary honor. I once read a Catherine Cookson when there was no other printed material available after being stuck somewhere, but that’s as more miserylit

i had an errand to do today in westminster and totally forgot about the rally occurring and ended up walking through the entire thing

Impressions? The pics I was sent seemed to show a lot of people

 

[Clem Fandango]

i had an errand to do today in westminster and totally forgot about the rally occurring and ended up walking through the entire thing

Your face may well be on some sort of terrorist watch list

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Genuinely, and I must defend my literary honor. I once read a Catherine Cookson when there was no other printed material available after being stuck somewhere, but that’s as more miserylit

I have read retarded monster sex fanfics and I cannot recommend it enough. It does make for good absurdist comedy if you read it and not wank. You can't be into books and just not read the The Room of literature. Also I get a laugh out of donating them. I just like to imagine the little old Loros woman wondering what category to put it in and just being confused. I have free rein to donate them without judgement though because why would I be buying and reading werewolf sex porn books for women? I'm just dropping off shit my wife read and doesn't want anymore

Your face may well be on some sort of terrorist watch list

This is why I decided to shave fully. Looking for recommendations for idk head polish. Do I just dip myself in baby oil or what? Hoping to become too reflective and blind the cameras they use. Figure it'd also work as a sunscreen too. If I make my head as shiny as possible all the uv shit would be reflected away and I will keep my beautiful pasty white skin.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

if you read it and not wank.

Why else am I reading books?

 

[Hoi Polloi]

Genuinely, and I must defend my literary honor. I once read a Catherine Cookson when there was no other printed material available after being stuck somewhere, but that’s as more miserylit

Impressions? The pics I was sent seemed to show a lot of people

It felt like there were a lot of people, but I was trying to walk entirely against them so possibly seemed like more than there really were.

There was a big crowd outside Westminster Abbey and some guy was singing a song - they had a stage and screen up.

Lot of people drinking Stella (unironically) and a lot of people drinking in general, police were like scooping up piles of bottles and cans as I went by.

Saw a lot of young tracksuit wearing scrotes which I was a bit surprised by.

Seemed peaceful but given that my entire journey I was walking against people leaving I'm pretty sure I saw the tail end of it (around 3-4pm).

Lot of fat people/old people in mobility scooters also.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Why else am I reading books?

Hey what you do with the travel guide is none of my business. Better than the page 3 shit whatever it's called.

 

[Hoi Polloi]

Your face may well be on some sort of terrorist watch list

I made sure to roll my eyes and shake my head so that TPTB know I didn't approve if CCTV caught me

 

[Chunky Salsa]

Hey what you do with the travel guide is none of my business. Better than the page 3 shit whatever it's called.

Fun fact, one of the earlier page 3 girls was a 16 year old and they interviewed her teacher to see how felt about seeing her tits on the newspaper. He said he was very dissapointed.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

I think Restore will win Makersfield quite comfortably; my reasons are somewhat connected to the locals.;

1. So I think this will be the core reason for victory. In polling after the Reform voters said they voted for Reform because no other alternative was LISTED. Key word listed.
2. Makersfield is overwhelmingly white, 96% they voted Leave, Reform did well. Their demographic if largely middle aged not boomers, and 49% male and 51% female.
3. Ground game, Restore have a really good ground game, Reform don't. One of their key complaints is that they poorly mobolize.
4. Farage and the 5 million affecting his popularity. Even Reform people do not like voting for Farage. On top of that I have the feeling they will put Zia Yusef in this seat. Let them, he will get pummeled along with Burnham. Reform keep putting up the wrong candidates and never learn. If they run Zia it will fuck them over so bad.

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

nor have I succumbed to monster chick beast romance books.

Are you saying that you've never even been tempted by this masterpiece?

Do you at least share minion memes on FB and watch 911 or are you only pretending to someone's mum?

i had an errand to do today in westminster and totally forgot about the rally occurring and ended up walking through the entire thing

I was considering going into London today to visit the Orc's Nest and conduct other autistic activities and if it wasn't for the farms I would have rocked up to Kings Cross completely unaware of what the fuck was happening.

I have read retarded monster sex fanfics and I cannot recommend it enough.

50 Shades of Grey was a disaster for the literary world. I wouldn't hate monsterfucker stories so much if it actually explored the monster aspect instead of it being another reskin of dark, handsome but troubled mafia boss the self insert needs to help open up. If date night involved them eating a deer together I might be more interested, but instead it's just the bloke being "so dangerous" and "scared he might hurt her".

Spoiler: Werewolf story autism

I've always been a fan of werewolves as a concept and I feel like they are massively underutilised. I don't even think that they always have to be blood thirsty monsters. In saying that there is definitely a point where it becomes more furry than werewolf with how cutsie uwu doggo they can get. High Moor is a paticuarly good read and it's werewolves aren't inherently bloodythirsty killing machines and that allows for werewolf stories to evolve beyond "who's the werewolf" and "oh no I will hurt those I love". I think werewolf stories need a backdrop of grimdark to be good and it's that grimdark that keeps them from becoming overgrown doggos. Overall if werewolves are used to actually explore what it means to be human then I think it works quite well.

Women really don't help people like Andrew Tate when all they appear to write about is big powerful men emotionally abusing them.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Are you saying that you've never even been tempted by this masterpiece?

There are quite a few things that I would do but milking and morning glory? No thanks. Tripping balls and touching balls should be mutually exclusive.

 

[Clem Fandango]

I made sure to roll my eyes and shake my head so that TPTB know I didn't approve if CCTV caught me

There was probably at least one guy at the Nuremberg rally who was like "Oh for sheisse's sake, I just wanted to post these letters. What are these massive crowds?"

 

[Otterly]

Are you saying that you've never even been tempted by this masterpiece?

Ummm. No

Do you at least share minion memes on FB and watch 911 or are you only pretending to someone's mum?

I’m sorry, I just haven’t been boomery enough, in my defence I am Gen X and only use FB when absolutely necessary to see what’s going on in the local neighbourhood group or for buy and sell. I will endeavour to do better and post some minion memes that slightly fail to hit the mark.

have read retarded monster sex fanfics

What’s the appeal? Although I realise I’m asking g the man who started the weird Chinese sex toy thread (which is hilarious) …

but instead it's just the bloke being "so dangerous" and "scared he might hurt her".

I think all that stuff is a weird oversexed twisted version of the beauty and the beast/taming the wild man trope, which to be fair goes back to Gilgamesh. To have tamed the biggest most dangerous man is to be the most powerful woman, because he may hurt everyone else but he will protect you and hurt others for you. It’s a female power acquisition fantasy, gone rather awry because porn and what have you.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

What’s the appeal?

Same as any sort of bad media. It's just funny to read things that are meant to be serious and just are not at all. There's just a lot of shit that's funny to imagine how some cutesy uwu date would work when the other guy is a 10ft werewolf and would have to turn himself into a contortionist to even get in the seat. Things that you can tell the person who wrote them thought would be cutesy and all that but you're looking at from a place of realism instead of eroticism and it makes it funny to imagine.

 

[Otterly]

T

Same as any sort of bad media. It's just funny to read things that are meant to be serious and just are not at all. There's just a lot of shit that's funny to imagine how some cutesy uwu date would work when the other guy is a 10ft werewolf and would have to turn himself into a contortionist to even get in the seat. Things that you can tell the person who wrote them thought would be cutesy and all that but you're looking at from a place of realism instead of eroticism and it makes it funny to imagine.

Theres a bad erotica thread on BP and the writing in all this stuff is just excruciatingly poor. But the idea of the mundane meeting the werewolf is amusing
She pushed the seat of his car back as far as it would go and stared into his lupine eyes. His back went as he tried to ravish her in the confined space of the Renault 5 …
Really there could be some great comedy here.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

Really there could be some great comedy here.

I remember a friend telling me that there is a japanese isekai book, where the premise is that the guy is such a fat, smelly, ugly guy that when he arrives in the middle of some orcs...The Orcs assuming he's their version of a looksmaxxing chad type. He spends the entire book civilising them and banging Orc women lol. Amusing idea.

 

[mindlessobserver]

How the UK became poorer then Mississippi.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Genuinely, and I must defend my literary honor. I once read a Catherine Cookson when there was no other printed material available after being stuck somewhere, but that’s as more miserylit

I've read Twilight. Mostly because I don't like tearing into something I have not actually read.

The last book I cannot remember but the bottle of scotch I finish getting through it is seared into my mind forever.

Lot of people drinking Stella (unironically) and a lot of people drinking in general, police were like scooping up piles of bottles and cans as I went by.

Disappointing. Cleaning up your own rubbish is basic tolerable behaviour. With an event thousands strong the majority would not have been since the police would have needed a bulldozer but still contemptible.

 

[GratsTheat783]

Saw some football hooligans fighting in the train station before, some young drunk lad threw a punch at a older man and knocked him back, though it didn't seem to bruise him and he just walked off afterward. There were a brown rail worker shouting across from another platform that the police were coming. Also saw some guy walking along bleeding from the side of his head while I'd stopped for coffee.