UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Look on the bright side: Mrs Vesperus' response to this was
The fuck kind of cop cars ram a cow twice and only give it a hurty leg?

For a rarity I do want to hear more on this one before saying the police need to be treated like veal.

If their account is true they had been trying to secure this thing for a couple of hours. Despite that in the video they still have local idiots fucking around with the animal which is agitated and most likely to catch one of them eventually. A cow is not ludicrously dangerous but if it knocks you over and steps on you that's going to hurt and if the police are on the scene someone will blame them.

It's similar to when children fall into the cages in zoos and the animals end up shot. Yes, theoretically with time and care both could have been left alive. If however the animal just went into "fuck it" mode you have a dead child. Of the two one is worse press than the other. In this scenario I can't say I'd shed too many tears if a bunch of cow baiting chavs end up trampled but the media coverage would not be as kind as me.

Securing the cow requires limiting its ability to get away from them. In an enclosed field that's easy. On streets with pavements rigging up a cordon it can't get through is not so easy, the people "helping" make it even harder. At that point you're looking at animal tranquillizers which are not easy to get hold of especially at that time of night. I would have thought with it taking this long that they would have gotten one of the local vets who deal with the cows routinely but even then most of them would want actual farmhands who know how to handle the animals to help rather than plod. I assume one of them was on scene though given the animal was transported away afterwards which suggests it was pumped full of something.

The car move looks horrific. But it worked. They essentially parked a car on its head and unsurprisingly at that point it could not move. Cows are fairly hardy, there's a fair chance it will make it through this with some moderate injuries and a seething hatred of the police uniform. Around the point where it get loose and was charging people it being killed was a possibility so even injured survival is still a better outcome.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

Reform now polling above the Conservatives, I think this is the third poll in two days that has them ahead. Some wonk at the Times has translated this to 7 seats for Reform and just 72 for the Tories

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reform_UK#2024_general_election

For an Ameritard, how is is that they are competing for 609/650 seats, polling higher than the Conservatives, but only expected to win 1/10th the seats? Is it just that the opinion polling has nothing to do with the reality of local races?

 

[Vesperus]

If their account is true they had been trying to secure this thing for a couple of hours.

SO PLENTY OF TIME TO FIND A FUCKING FARMER.

Look, I don't necessarily expect some retarded plod with a degree in geography and a burning hatred of wrongthink to know how to wrangle a cow in the high street. I'd be surprised if they could wipe their own arse, to be honest. But since they evidently had enough time and resources to block off side streets, you'd think one of them would have enough brain cells to go and find a house surrounded by fields and ask for help.

I'm from the Bri'ish Norf, and live in NZ: In 50 years of walking the green, green pastures of this godforsaken planet, I have never seen a cow herded with a fucking truck at ramming speed. Well, before today.

IT'S A FUCKING COW FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

Grab 6 feet of rope and a bucket full of cattle pellets.

edit:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reform_UK#2024_general_election

For an Ameritard, how is is that they are competing for 609/650 seats, polling higher than the Conservatives, but only expected to win 1/10th the seats? Is it just that the opinion polling has nothing to do with the reality of local races?

The UK - or at least, the UK press - has this weird problem where they think they have proportional representation when they don't. This is why they will ramble on about many votes Nigel Farage and Lord Buckethead may have, when it's basically a two horse race (like the US).

I'm sure we could get KiwiFarmers to run for at least 30 seats in the US Senate (and therefore "compete" for them): That doesn't mean we'd win jack shit.

 

[East_Clintwood]

Is it just that the opinion polling has nothing to do with the reality of local races?

It's because of our First Past the Post voting system. While Reform appears to have decent support it's spread across the country meaning they often don't have the numbers to win in each individual constituency.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

Grab 6 feet of rope and a bucket full of cattle pellets.

A flat cap and a whippet, or border collie, is all you need to tard wrangle livestock, while uttering the magic phrase of "come by, are Shep"

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

SO PLENTY OF TIME TO FIND A FUCKING FARMER.

Look, I don't necessarily expect some retarded plod with a degree in geography and a burning hatred of wrongthink to know how to wrangle a cow in the high street. I'd be surprised if they could wipe their own arse, to be honest. But since they evidently had enough time and resources to block off side streets, you'd think one of them would have enough brain cells to go and find a house surrounded by fields and ask for help.

I'm from the Bri'ish Norf, and live in NZ: In 50 years of walking the green, green pastures of this godforsaken planet, I have never seen a cow herded with a fucking truck at ramming speed. Well, before today.

IT'S A FUCKING COW FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

Grab 6 feet of rope and a bucket full of cattle pellets.

There's a factor you're forgetting in that suggestion.

People hate the police. 10-20 years ago a farmer might have been willing to get out of bed and waste some time helping out his local law enforcement. Now when they come calling unless it is that farmer's cow the answer is tough shit. If their neighbour or his wife rings them asking for help they would do it, plod doing so results in mocking laughter.

Assuming the police are even allowed to do that anymore. No doubt now their guidance says only specific experts can be called, likely decided by who's the buddy of the local ranking officers and therefore deserves to get paid.

 

[Vesperus]

A flat cap and a whippet, or border collie, is all you need to tard wrangle livestock, while uttering the magic phrase of "come by, are Shep"

That's sheep you lemon. You need something like a Smithfield for cattle.

Now when they come calling unless it is that farmer's cow the answer is tough shit. If their neighbour or his wife rings them asking for help they would do it, plod doing so results in mocking laughter.

A fair point. I can imagine when the local farmer's chainsaw went missing they were too busy investigating mean facebook posts to look at the CCTV footage.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

That's sheep you lemon. You need something like a Smithfield for cattle.

I've seen cattle herded with a cane and a strong word. A Border collie would and does herd cattle.

Do u even Norf, bro?

 

[3deadniggers]

Looking at the video a few times, he appears de-melanated, but white niggerfaggots are a thing, especially in Surrey and doubly with a badge.

Look on the bright side: Mrs Vesperus' response to this was
The fuck kind of cop cars ram a cow twice and only give it a hurty leg?
The answer is, of course, a faggy British one.
(she drives an 80's Chevy pickup that weighs marginally more than a 3-bed house in Surrey)

Don't drive into cows unless you want your car smashed up. There is never a good reason to do it so why the fuck would you think hurting the cows leg was a bad outcome compared to the cow totaling the car and bleeding out on the roof?

People hate the police. 10-20 years ago a farmer might have been willing to get out of bed and waste some time helping out his local law enforcement. Now when they come calling unless it is that farmer's cow the answer is tough shit. If their neighbour or his wife rings them asking for help they would do it, plod doing so results in mocking laughter.

Farmers don't hate the police. They usually respond to stuff being nicked from farms and there's specific teams for dealing with 'country crimes' which aren't at all like the usual plods. Country police tend to be involved in a lot of firearm licensing, stolen vehicles and laid back criminality. They usually have good relationships with farmers and approach situations less on edge compared to the more urban police.

Doesn't mean they will turn up if your car gets nicked though.

 

[Spunt]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reform_UK#2024_general_election

For an Ameritard, how is is that they are competing for 609/650 seats, polling higher than the Conservatives, but only expected to win 1/10th the seats? Is it just that the opinion polling has nothing to do with the reality of local races?

As others have said, it's the voting system, that requires that a party get the most votes in a limited geographical area (a "constituency" as they're known) to get a seat in the national parliament. It's a lot like congressional/senate seats in the USA, the Libertarians or Greens might get enough votes to get into the house of representatives, but only if those votes are all in the same area. Minor parties tend to poll small numbers across wide areas, which means that it's entirely possible, for example, for Reform UK to get 15-17% of the vote and get no seats at all. The Tory vote is more concentrated in their core heartland areas (wealthier rural seats as a rule).

Farmers don't hate the police. They usually respond to stuff being nicked from farms and there's specific teams for dealing with 'country crimes' which aren't at all like the usual plods. Country police tend to be involved in a lot of firearm licensing, stolen vehicles and laid back criminality. They usually have good relationships with farmers and approach situations less on edge compared to the more urban police.

Doesn't mean they will turn up if your car gets nicked though.

Bear in mind this particular incident happened in Staines, which is only a mile from the edge of London and is very urban (Ali G is from Staines, it don't get more urban than that). The cow probably escaped from an abattoir or truck rather than a field. Hence the "City Cop" response to the situation.

 

[3deadniggers]

Bear in mind this particular incident happened in Staines, which is only a mile from the edge of London and is very urban (Ali G is from Staines, it don't get more urban than that). The cow probably escaped from an abattoir or truck rather than a field. Hence the "City Cop" response to the situation.

I know. I'm saying the police dealing with country people are very different to urban ones. They usually have good relationships with them because they're having to deal with people 1 on 1 with no back up. If you piss off a farmer on his land you're not getting help for 30 minutes or more and you know he owns a couple of guns when you can't carry any. The power dynamic is completely shifted from the urban areas where there's always another car a few minutes away at best. It keeps both sides much more honest and relaxed because neither wants trouble.

 

[Vesperus]

I've seen cattle herded with a cane and a strong word. A Border collie would and does herd cattle.

Do u even Norf, bro?

Borders are fast and smart but a bit fragile: Smithfield collies (or better, Aussie cattle dogs) take the occasional hoof to the face far better.

Some (small herd) farmers can control their cows with a whistle, but I'm guessing those cows do not end up mooching around the high street dodging police vans.

I wonder if we could replace Surrey police with well trained cows and a cross section of herding dogs?

 

[Doctor Love]

Borders are fast and smart but a bit fragile

Have you ever seen the Welsh variations? There's nothing fragile about them. They're like, half collie, half tank.

 

[Pedophobe]

Total Tory Death.

I love to see it but I can't help feel bad for Sunak, probably the best British PM in my lifetime. Too little too late I guess, a real missed opportunity, right place at the wrong time, just not on the cards for him etc

A cow is not ludicrously dangerous

Trust the science

 

[Spunt]

Sunak, probably the best British PM in my lifetime

Are you high? Sunak, for those who need a reminder:

- Former hedge fund manager at Theleme Partners and Goldman Sachs parasite
- Married to a billionaire
- Unelected, lost a leadership election to Liz "Cabbage" Truss
- Promised to reduce immigration, instead it more than doubled
- Wasted hundreds of millions of pounds on the Rwanda disaster which he decided to make his flagship policy, an idiotic piece of grandstanding that would never have achieved anything even if it succeeded, and instead has resulted in a total of 1 (one) person leaving the county, and they had to be paid £5000 to do so.
- Was the man behind "Eat Out To Help Out", which did nothing to help struggling restaurants but did help spread the coof and cost ungodly amounts of public money to make everything worse
- Once asked a homeless man at a soup kitchen whether he was planning a career in finance
- Called an election without consulting or telling his own party who were completely unprepared
- In particular, called that election 48 hours after Klaus Schwab announced his retirement, calling it on the literal first Thursday he could without breaking his promise to hold it "in the second half of the year".
- A bumbling, incompetent leader who is leading his party to a defeat that may end their existence entirely after nearly 200 years

Rishi Sunak is a member of the international elite who doesn't give a fuck about the people he pretends to govern. He sees being Prime Minister as something for his CV, that will help him get his real dream job at the WEF, UN, some NGO or other pro-pod and pro-bug organisation. He is both incompetent and evil.

Genuine question: What do you see in him? What is it about his personality or achievements that puts him above, say, David Cameron, or even Boris? I don't know how old you are but do you believe he's better than Thatcher and if so why?

EDIT: I actually hope he gets the WEF job so that Tony Blair doesn't. I'd rather have an incompetent boob like Sunak run the WEF into the ground rather than someone frighteningly capable like Tony Blair.

 

[3deadniggers]

I love to see it but I can't help feel bad for Sunak, probably the best British PM in my lifetime.

Brown hands typed this post.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

probably the best British PM in my lifetime.

Well, there it is, Schrodinger's post; it could be either stupidity or satire.

 

[Pedophobe]

Genuine question: What do you see in him?

He's not a drooling retard or sottled pig like Boris, Cameron or Liz. He's not a jammy dodger like Blair, not a cheap alabaster cast in an expensive suit like whatisnane and not a cold blooded monster like Thatcher. Looks good by comparison. Seems like he has his head screwed on the right way around and doesn't value ideology over pragmatism. I don't hope for much but a competent administrator would be nice.

 

[3deadniggers]

He's not a drooling retard or sottled pig like Boris, Cameron or Liz. He's not a jammy dodger like Blair, not a cheap alabaster cast in an expensive suit like whatisnane and not a cold blooded monster like Thatcher. Looks good by comparison. Seems like he has his head screwed on the right way around and doesn't value ideology over pragmatism. I don't hope for much but a competent administrator would be nice.

Is your mother and father related? Maybe they're cousins?

 

[Kane Lives]

- A bumbling, incompetent leader who is leading his party to a defeat that may end their existence entirely after nearly 200 years

I will say, it is wild to see the Tories slide into oblivion mere years after they managed to crack the Labour Red Wall. It's a testament to how badly they fucked this shit up.