🐮 Lolcow BlackKitsune a.k.a. ElementHeart

[Phil Ken Sebben]

This has actually been my pet lolcow for a while now. How do I describe him?

Well, take Chris-chan. Then take away any likeability or responsibility for that matter. Throw in a sexual fetish for dogs and horses, a thing for lactation and pregnancy and make him a furry as well. Mix liberally with social assistance, a lack of ever working ever, some conspiracy theories, belief in magic as well as GodBearJesus but he's not a Christian. Then to round it all off he's 25 and still a virgin not to mention a complete weeaboo who wants to move to Japan to find a nice girl that will marry him and love him forever.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I present you with BlackKitsune. Also known as ElementHeart. I won't reveal his name but when I post links to his stories you might be able to figure out that not only are they self-inserts but the guy really has no idea how the world works.

https://www.sofurry.com/view/439033 - guy winds up traveling to magical pony land and there will be love in his future.
https://www.sofurry.com/view/502143 - same guy finds a mousegirl outside a mall but she's a special mousegirl because she falls in love with him immediately. That and she changes her form...

He's also on that other sperg site Fimfiction.net as ElementHeart: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ElementHeart.

I've trolled him under maybe half a dozen names now. He always says that he's not going to fall for it again but then like clockwork, he falls for it again. No videos though although I did get him to send a couple pictures which I can upload in case anybody cares.

 

[Count groudon]

Those have to be the two spergiest usernames I've ever heard. And this is coming from someone who calls himself count groudon.

 

[Father Bigley]

Kris grinned broadly in his head, thinking, She changes species? So awesome. However I am not too pleased that she turns into a male, but she DID say it was on rare occasions. If I am married to her and she turns into a guy, what does that make me? A Bi-sexual? No, I am 100% straight. If that is the case, and she turns into a guy, I will just have to take her to a gamer cafe. We will act like two guys hanging out together. Oh,no. She's looking at me waiting for an answer. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I cannot change her, nor do I want to. So I am just going to have to accept her for who she is. She can't help the fact that she can turn into a dude. So I am going to tell her. Right Now.

He smiled, placed his hand on her upper leg, stroking it, before saying, "It does NOT lessen your attractiveness. In fact it only broadens your appeal. I just want you to know, though, that I am 100% straight. If you turn into a dude, then we will do dude stuff. However, I wonder, what species do you turn into?

Oh geez. How'd you get wind of this guy, OP?

 

[random_pickle]

Jeez, and I thought my old fanfics were shit.

Please tell me he doesn't draw furry art too.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Those have to be the two spergiest usernames I've ever heard. And this is coming from someone who calls himself count groudon.

ElementHeart was a name of a character he had created to come later in his pony story that never showed up because the story was cancelled. And BlackKitsune is his fursonna. He's a two-tailed Japanese fox spirit because he's a weeaboo.

Kris grinned broadly in his head, thinking, She changes species? So awesome. However I am not too pleased that she turns into a male, but she DID say it was on rare occasions. If I am married to her and she turns into a guy, what does that make me? A Bi-sexual? No, I am 100% straight. If that is the case, and she turns into a guy, I will just have to take her to a gamer cafe. We will act like two guys hanging out together. Oh,no. She's looking at me waiting for an answer. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I cannot change her, nor do I want to. So I am just going to have to accept her for who she is. She can't help the fact that she can turn into a dude. So I am going to tell her. Right Now.

He smiled, placed his hand on her upper leg, stroking it, before saying, "It does NOT lessen your attractiveness. In fact it only broadens your appeal. I just want you to know, though, that I am 100% straight. If you turn into a dude, then we will do dude stuff. However, I wonder, what species do you turn into?

Oh geez. How'd you get wind of this guy, OP?

Long story. Suffice it to say that it started out with a friend of mine pointing me in the direction of this story on Fimfiction. I created an account there just to comment on how bad it was. He didn't agree and said I was being mean and I should support people's dreams like he does and how he's such a kind and caring person blah blah blah. I wanted to find out more about him and since he provided his name and city in all his stories it didn't take long to dig up a lot of dirt.

As mentioned he's a furry who wanted to be treated like a pet and have a mistress to take care of him. He's totally pro-bestiality and wants to fuck real live horses and dogs. He'd also like to fuck the ponies on My Little Pony because they're "smexy" as he put it. He wanted to find a woman in his town who was lactating and wouldn't mind him getting a drink directly from the source and yes, relationships like that seem to exist. There's some borderline pedophile tendencies although he claims he's totally not a pedofork although that doesn't explain why it is he's fucking underage ponies or chipmunks in one of his stories. He's never had a job, ever. Not even in high school. He blames his father for messing him up because he was abusive and this is why he's a virgin because nobody ever taught him how to talk to girls.

Long story short, the guy is just a complete mess.

Jeez, and I thought my old fanfics were shit.

Please tell me he doesn't draw furry art too.

No, he's not an artist in any way. But then you could tell that from his writing the worst Mary Sue fanfic I've ever read.

 

[Count groudon]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

 

[random_pickle]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

It's because Kitsunes are the second most popular myth in Japan. The first is the Bake-neko, the shapeshifting cat. I'm sure you've seen plenty of people having a neko persona.

 

[exball]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

What weeb would pick an oni for their self insert fuck fiction?

Would you fuck this guy?

 

[Saney]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

What weeb would pick an oni for their self insert fuck fiction?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... othing.jpg
Would you fuck this guy?

That gets me so hot.

 

[Count groudon]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

What weeb would pick an oni for their self insert fuck fiction?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... othing.jpg
Would you fuck this guy?

I dunno, that's pretty sexy. I could totally imagine my super kawaii desu cat-thing being all over that

 

[MysticMisty]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

Kappas aren't sexy. However I'm surprised more weebs don't go for tanuki. That way they can have massive junk AND transform into hotter forms. Maybe it's like how a lot of furries like wolf fursonas for the whole "tough guy" thing or some shit. I dunno.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

Kappas aren't sexy. However I'm surprised more weebs don't go for tanuki. That way they can have massive junk AND transform into hotter forms. Maybe it's like how a lot of furries like wolf fursonas for the whole "tough guy" thing or some shit. I dunno.

All this talk of tanuki and oni? Well, here's the really funny part. I just got him to stop calling himself a Kitsune and now he's a Tanuki. Here's how it went down.

Not only am I his bestest friend in the world but it's a package deal with my "wife". She's Japanese and she's also played by me. I just remember a Japanese girl I dated a long time ago and write in her idiom. Dude hasn't caught on yet. Anyway, a few weeks ago he sends her an e-mail asking her to start calling him "Oni-san". Not "Onii-san" which he mistakenly said was sister but in reality is brother, but "oni" as in demon or ogre. His reasoning was he was like a demon causing trouble all the time and being destructive. Or he wondered if he had a kitsune inside him and maybe that is what was causing this.

So as the wise Japanese woman I told him that this wasn't a good thing and while Oni might be seen as being a bad thing in the west, it can be a good thing in Japan. An Oni has strength and endurance so if you refer to a strong person as an oni, it's a compliment. Then said that he couldn't be possessed by a kitsune because they only possess women. And finally I said that a tanuki suited him better because they're big, jolly and lucky from their massive balls. So now he's thinking of changing his fursona to a tanuki.

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

Why do weebs always pick a kitsune? What about a fox with a bunch of tails gives these people such a raging hardon? There are plenty if other cool japanese mythological creatures to pick from. Why not a tengu or an oni or like a kappa or something?

Thats because their weebs. Don't be fooled. Weeabos have no legitimate interest in learning about Japanese customs, culture, and history. They latch themselves onto Japan for a variety of reasons. Some are are not secure in who they are so they're seeking identity. Others are immature and view it as this paradise where the streets are paved with hentai and school girl panties and they can be as autistic as they want to be and no one will ever tell them to get a job, move out of their parents house, or to stop masturbating to animal porn.

Either way when you look at it objectively most weeaboos are very much ignorant to the majority of Japanese culture and grossly stereotype the Japanese people and their customs. People who have a legitimate and healthy love for Japanese culture and people are called Japanophiles. Weebs are something different.

TLR : Weebs rarely get past the most basic aspects of Japanese culture because they're not really interested in japanese culture.

 

[random_pickle]

According to Japanese myth, Kitsunes can become some of the strongest beings in Japan's folklore. In most myths, every 100 years or so, the kitsune grows another tail, and overtime they slowly gain more wisdom and skills in magic. Many are strong enough to create their own little pocket demensions while groups of kitsunes can build entire cities using only magic in a short time. By the time they are 1000 years old, they become god-like energy beings. It's funny how most weebs don't realize this at all and only choose kitsunes because they are Kawaii desu.

 

[Rio]

Weeb furries flock to kitsunes for the exact same reason furries flock to foxes and wolves. I don't know what that reason is, but I'm pretty sure it's the exact same one.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Weeb furries flock to kitsunes for the exact same reason furries flock to foxes and wolves. I don't know what that reason is, but I'm pretty sure it's the exact same one.

Because canidae are the the most familiar animal family to them, ergo the easiest to draw?

 

[c-no]

This has actually been my pet lolcow for a while now. How do I describe him?

Well, take Our Pet Lolcow. Then take away any likeability or responsibility for that matter. Throw in a sexual fetish for dogs and horses, a thing for lactation and pregnancy and make him a furry as well. Mix liberally with social assistance, a lack of ever working ever, some conspiracy theories, belief in magic as well as GodBearJesus but he's not a Christian. Then to round it all off he's 25 and still a virgin not to mention a complete weeaboo who wants to move to Japan to find a nice girl that will marry him and love him forever.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I present you with BlackKitsune. Also known as ElementHeart. I won't reveal his name but when I post links to his stories you might be able to figure out that not only are they self-inserts but the guy really has no idea how the world works.

https://www.sofurry.com/view/439033 - guy winds up traveling to magical pony land and there will be love in his future.
https://www.sofurry.com/view/502143 - same guy finds a mousegirl outside a mall but she's a special mousegirl because she falls in love with him immediately. That and she changes her form...

He's also on that other sperg site Fimfiction.net as ElementHeart: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ElementHeart.

I've trolled him under maybe half a dozen names now. He always says that he's not going to fall for it again but then like clockwork, he falls for it again. No videos though although I did get him to send a couple pictures which I can upload in case anybody cares.

So this guy is also a brony? I'm not clicking the links for the sake of my sanity but really a lol-cow whose a combination of three internet groups with some creepy turn-on's, bearing similarities to Our Pet LOL-Cow minus likability and responsibility must be one strange combination. Having read the Project AFTER forums mockery on A-Log's fan-fic, I wonder if they might stumble upon the fan-fics of this man. Having just mentioned A-Log I wonder if this guy(Elementheart/BlackKitsune) will try to A-Log Chris.

 

[Count groudon]

This has actually been my pet lolcow for a while now. How do I describe him?

Well, take Our Pet Lolcow. Then take away any likeability or responsibility for that matter. Throw in a sexual fetish for dogs and horses, a thing for lactation and pregnancy and make him a furry as well. Mix liberally with social assistance, a lack of ever working ever, some conspiracy theories, belief in magic as well as GodBearJesus but he's not a Christian. Then to round it all off he's 25 and still a virgin not to mention a complete weeaboo who wants to move to Japan to find a nice girl that will marry him and love him forever.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I present you with BlackKitsune. Also known as ElementHeart. I won't reveal his name but when I post links to his stories you might be able to figure out that not only are they self-inserts but the guy really has no idea how the world works.

https://www.sofurry.com/view/439033 - guy winds up traveling to magical pony land and there will be love in his future.
https://www.sofurry.com/view/502143 - same guy finds a mousegirl outside a mall but she's a special mousegirl because she falls in love with him immediately. That and she changes her form...

He's also on that other sperg site Fimfiction.net as ElementHeart: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ElementHeart.

I've trolled him under maybe half a dozen names now. He always says that he's not going to fall for it again but then like clockwork, he falls for it again. No videos though although I did get him to send a couple pictures which I can upload in case anybody cares.

So this guy is also a brony? I'm not clicking the links for the sake of my sanity but really a lol-cow whose a combination of three internet groups with some creepy turn-on's, bearing similarities to Our Pet LOL-Cow minus likability and responsibility must be one strange combination. Having read the Project AFTER forums mockery on A-Log's fan-fic, I wonder if they might stumble upon the fan-fics of this man. Having just mentioned A-Log I wonder if this guy(Elementheart/BlackKitsune) will try to A-Log Chris.

He might just be into anthro horses? I dunno, he may very well be a brony, I'm just too scared to check anything he wrote.

 

[Silver]

FimFiction is an MLP fic site.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

This has actually been my pet lolcow for a while now. How do I describe him?

Well, take Our Pet Lolcow. Then take away any likeability or responsibility for that matter. Throw in a sexual fetish for dogs and horses, a thing for lactation and pregnancy and make him a furry as well. Mix liberally with social assistance, a lack of ever working ever, some conspiracy theories, belief in magic as well as GodBearJesus but he's not a Christian. Then to round it all off he's 25 and still a virgin not to mention a complete weeaboo who wants to move to Japan to find a nice girl that will marry him and love him forever.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I present you with BlackKitsune. Also known as ElementHeart. I won't reveal his name but when I post links to his stories you might be able to figure out that not only are they self-inserts but the guy really has no idea how the world works.

https://www.sofurry.com/view/439033 - guy winds up traveling to magical pony land and there will be love in his future.
https://www.sofurry.com/view/502143 - same guy finds a mousegirl outside a mall but she's a special mousegirl because she falls in love with him immediately. That and she changes her form...

He's also on that other sperg site Fimfiction.net as ElementHeart: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ElementHeart.

I've trolled him under maybe half a dozen names now. He always says that he's not going to fall for it again but then like clockwork, he falls for it again. No videos though although I did get him to send a couple pictures which I can upload in case anybody cares.

So this guy is also a brony? I'm not clicking the links for the sake of my sanity but really a lol-cow whose a combination of three internet groups with some creepy turn-on's, bearing similarities to Our Pet LOL-Cow minus likability and responsibility must be one strange combination. Having read the Project AFTER forums mockery on A-Log's fan-fic, I wonder if they might stumble upon the fan-fics of this man. Having just mentioned A-Log I wonder if this guy(Elementheart/BlackKitsune) will try to A-Log Chris.

Oh yes, he's a total brony but I doubt he'll ever turn A-Log. That's for people with self-inflated feelings of grandeur. This guy has said numerous times that he's lower than low and doesn't even deserve a dog that he can fuck. And he's tried many time to get me to understand that it's okay to do it with animals because we're animals and that makes it okay. He's the kind of guy that if he came across a dog that was in heat and it rubbed up against him, that would be all the consent that he needed to whip it out and do her.