🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Insulin reid said:
My money is on her being retarded enough to think hymen sewing is a legit medical procedure. There's a hymen. If you "break it" its just "there" so of course amber thinks that a thing (hymen) can be sewn (medical procedure that doctors do, they sew people up) back up to make things right again (pure delicate gorl).
Amber is as retarded as she is vain, so of course in ambers sped head she thinks this is something totally doable and correct. Shes always gotta be the best gorl in the room so depending on the vibe shes either taken dick or shes a gold star lez-bean and either way the hymen is intact so all of the rest of us hymenless sluts cant say anything about her because we're gross and probably also straight (eww)


Edit- wrong vein (vain)
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Well, she WAS retarded enough to think that there was a completely separate ER for every different type of medical emergency. So... would Amber get her dainty hymen repaired at the "yondi" ER or at the stitches ER?

I also can't help but wonder... would her hymen be like a huge flap of skin (oversized like every other part of her)? You know, kinda like those parachutes that little kids play with in school? OR would all of the weight and pressure pushing down into that area have turned it into a teeeeeeeny tiny diamond? Nevermind, I guess some things are best left undiscovered.

This is all YOUR fault, Amber. If you don't shitpost, then we have to.
 
Boolean Bitch said:
I also can't help but wonder... would her hymen be like a huge flap of skin (oversized like every other part of her)? You know, kinda like those parachutes that little kids play with in school? OR would all of the weight and pressure pushing down into that area have turned it into a teeeeeeeny tiny diamond?
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You do realise the hymen is a ring of material that surrounds the vaginal entrance? It’s not a completely closed structure or girls wouldn’t be able to menstruate. It’s more like a donut.

Slippery_Slope said:
seriously can't tell if you're shit-posting or if you actually think women pee out of their vagina. lol
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I meant menstruate. I’ll take the trash cans though. I deserve them just for the level of hungover I am today.
 
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I call shenanigans said:
You do realise the hymen is a ring of material that surrounds the vaginal entrance? It’s not a completely closed structure or girls wouldn’t be able to menstruate. It’s more like a donut.
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Thank you for explaining, but yes, I'm aware :) . It's why I compared it to a child's parachute. Here's a picture where you can see the hole in the centre:
child parachute.png

Though I'll take the L and accept that my attempt at a horrifying shitpost faceplanted.
 
Boolean Bitch said:
Thank you for explaining, but yes, I'm aware :) . It's why I compared it to a child's parachute. Here's a picture where you can see the hole in the centre:
View attachment 6167978
Though I'll take the L and accept that my attempt at a horrifying shitpost faceplanted.
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If you read your post in the tone of something Amber "the moon landing didn't happen" Reid would believe, it's funny. Because she absolutely would believe that and that the doctor gave her back her purity.
 
virginad.jpg
Ah, yes, the 80's, a special time when they had to run ads assuring teen girls they wouldn't lose their virginity to a TAMPON.

Of course, there's still guys yelling on TikTok that girls shouldn't be using tampons, so they won't be all worn out for their future husbands.

I wouldn't be surprised if Amber is such a gold star lezzzzzbean that she buys in to this.
 
Bibbity Bobbity said:
View attachment 6168177
Ah, yes, the 80's, a special time when they had to run ads assuring teen girls they wouldn't lose their virginity to a TAMPON.

Of course, there's still guys yelling on TikTok that girls shouldn't be using tampons, so they won't be all worn out for their future husbands.

I wouldn't be surprised if Amber is such a gold star lezzzzzbean that she buys in to this.
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id believe it but also theres no chance shes flexible enough to be able to insert a tampon. so unless necky was doing it for her....actually yeah that would track
 
Boolean Bitch said:
I also can't help but wonder... would her hymen be like a huge flap of skin (oversized like every other part of her)? You know, kinda like those parachutes that little kids play with in school? OR would all of the weight and pressure pushing down into that area have turned it into a teeeeeeeny tiny diamond? Nevermind, I guess some things are best left undiscovered.
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Soggy pork rind.
 
Do the movie theatre handjobs and blowjobs she claimed to have given to men in the past not count towards her "gold star status" or does she lie about that now?
 
Lidl Drip said:
Do the movie theatre handjobs and blowjobs she claimed to have given to men in the past not count towards her "gold star status" or does she lie about that now?
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I’m really hoping she gets desperate enough she starts claiming she’s talking to men. It probably won’t happen since (most likely) all of this is only happening in her head anyway, but she’s needs to stir things up.
 
meeting my girlfriend in person, torrid try on haul, & 4th of July!!!! | vlog


hambonie.png
How shameless of an addict do you have to be that you feel the need to get high in front of your rehabilitated mother to enjoy some fireworks?
 
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TL;DR for anyone who hasn't watched the new Amber video:
Mum likes trains, they're not native American, they're Portuguese and French.

Mummy takes us thrift-shopping and Amber gets a snowflake anxiety ring (read, Chinesium toy for children) from a coin machine. Amber also shows us her newest haul of Circus Tents from Torrid.

The U-Haul Lesbian strikes again, the ex-Dumped her last week, and she's already so really, REALLY, madly, deeply, passionately in love with this new girlfriend who's going to fly to meet her within the month. Her new carer's name is "Tommy" so lets see how long this flash in the pan lasts.
 
Uh-huh. A new girlfriend already named Tommy visiting before the end of July. So clearly Valentine was a ruse all along and the second she actually found a real care-taker she had to end the fake relationship. Also, a size 4 at torrid. Sure.
 
inquizadoor said:
id believe it but also theres no chance shes flexible enough to be able to insert a tampon. so unless necky was doing it for her....actually yeah that would track
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That was a step too far even for the Beckster it would seem. Amber informed us she “free bled” for two years before her cancer diagnosis. I realise how unpopular they have been for decades, but period pads do exist. These days period pants also exist, although I doubt they exist in Amber size.
 
I can't believe you people are being outsmarted by a retard. Tommy IS Valentine. This is exactly what she pulled with Wipey who was a totally different Wipey from the original Wipey.
 
StrawberryDouche said:
Tommy IS Valentine. This is exactly what she pulled with Wipey who was a totally different Wipey from the original Wipey.
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Except the Jade / Alex / Faline / Wipey / Wifey lie was done only bc Jade was doxxed as a result of Amberlynn's own stupidity, and Jade's litigious background was incredibly embarrassing.

Valentine hasn't been doxxed at all. Most people never even believed that she exists in our plane of existence. And even if she is that weird Alexis chick like some people believe, introducing this new Tommy won't absolve anyone of that belief. People will just assume Tommy is Alexis now, until proven otherwise.

Amberlynn will now perpetually be known as that teenager whose boyfriend / girlfriend goes to another school.
 
I don't believe either of them exist. Until we get a new character that gets in the videos and sticks around I won't believe it.

I find it more believable she'd hire an actress for one introduction video then it'll be all "my gf is in the shower", "my gf is at work", "my gf is asleep" and she'll be caught trying to fake like someone else is there, a la the opposite of "Wipey doesn't exist" as Jade changes the batteries in the smoke detector.*

I just realized this is especially strange given the chirping meme
 
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