Alien: Covenant/Alien Series thoughts.

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I literally forgot about this show for a week. Here's my play by play:

First, are they seriously randomly introducing ANOTHER alien in the final episode? And the Xenomorph is just scared off by this thing????
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Second, Why in the actual FUCK is there a Kino Casino Cameo?
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ANOTHER HUMAN/XENO HYBRID? (YAWN)
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THAT WAS IT?
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whoishomermynameis said:
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Disgusting hideous creatures, Aliens are more pleasant to look at, they are also more civilized and more intelligent.

Kiwifarmers really love their daily nigger slop, can't get enough of it, pathetic, imagine wasting your time watching this trash. There is a new game, Alien Rogue Incursion, where you play as a female nigger, perfect game for you nigger loving guys.
 
I genuinely have to ask, how did we sink this low in terms of writing?

Ever since the release of Prometheus the Alien franchise has been subjected to some of the most bizarre writing I have ever seen in fiction. And it's not like they keep using the same writers for every new iteration, yet Prometheus, Covenant and now Earth have characters written to behave in ways no human ever would.

It can't be AI because LLMs at the very least will try to make the characters behave normally. Romulus was just memberberry bait, but at least the cast behaved like functional humans, reacted to outside stimuli properly, emoted the appropriate emotion at the right cue etc.

The characters in Earth just... don't. This isn't standard schlocky bad writing, it feels like the people writing the show are genuinely mentally ill and/or sociopaths that are physically incapable of empathizing with other people, and thus lack the necessary frame of reference to understand how humans would react to a given situation.
 
The finale was so bad. I was ready for it to be bad, I mean the whole show was bad, though the reasons why varied episode by episode. I just was not expecting the season to end with nothing resolved. I was making another drink, expecting at least 20 minutes more of wrap up.
  1. Yutani is still on the way.
  2. every alien is loose.
  3. none of the characters died.
  4. Justified guy vs George Droid was a draw.
  5. the brothers feelings about Wendy are still unclear.
  6. How does Wendy communicate with the alien/
  7. if the lost boys are really themselves or are synth copies?
Also the eye thing can animate a corpse like it's a zombie, guess that's magic black goo for you. I wonder if it's just an excuse to resurrect the infertile guy?
 
regalterry said:
Ever since the release of Prometheus the Alien franchise has been subjected to some of the most bizarre writing I have ever seen in fiction. And it's not like they keep using the same writers for every new iteration, yet Prometheus, Covenant and now Earth have characters written to behave in ways no human ever would.
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Two points of failure:
1. Expanding too much on an absurdly simple concept leading to everything becoming overly complex and clumsy.
2. American entertainment industry has almost no talent left, but still many companies have more money than sense and are happy to fund whatever in the hopes it will end up popular.

Canary in the coalmine when it comes to the writing was Alien: Resurrection anyway.
 
Early concept art:
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Come on, if you're going to do that, go Full Kenner. Or whatever the NECA tribute version of the Crab Alien would be, if they made one.
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regalterry said:
This isn't standard schlocky bad writing, it feels like the people writing the show are genuinely mentally ill and/or sociopaths that are physically incapable of empathizing with other people, and thus lack the necessary frame of reference to understand how humans would react to a given situation.
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I think you've stumbled upon the answer.

The best part is they think they're righteous. They think this slop is not only better than what came before, but it's "good for us."

Oh, and how long was this in production? That concept art has a 2021 watermark. If the writing dates back to the Pandemic era, then it's very possible this was supposed to be much more about transhumanism and girlbossing, and they desperately rewrote what they could with the existing assets out of fear of the cultural shift. That might also contribute to this particular flavor of bad writing.
 
Solomon Bundy said:
Oh, and how long was this in production? That concept art has a 2021 watermark. If the writing dates back to the Pandemic era, then it's very possible this was supposed to be much more about transhumanism and girlbossing, and they desperately rewrote what they could with the existing assets out of fear of the cultural shift. That might also contribute to this particular flavor of bad writing.
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From Wikipedia:
Development for the series was reported to have begun in early 2019, with Ridley Scott attached to executive produce for FX on Hulu. It had started pre-production by April 2023, with Chandler cast in the lead role the following month, and further casting taking place from July to November that year. After principal photography was delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, production began in July 2023 but was halted in August due to the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike.
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So yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. It feels so dated now...
 
Gregg Turkington said:
It feels so dated now...
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Due to the general incompetence of the DEI hires, needing 5+ years to get anything done, there's many game, TV and cinema projects that have been outpaced by the changing cultural zeitgeist, and when they do come out they feel painfully out of place.

Doesn't help that the people making content nowadays fell off the short bus and are can't even be subtle about their agenda pushing.
 
...and here's the trailer. Glup Shitto sighted.
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New poster in better quality. Or worse, considering how clearly you can see Glup Shitto and the Power Mecha.
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Screenrant set report (archive) says it's probably PG-13:
If all goes according to plan, Badlands will be the first Predator movie with a PG-13 rating rather than R. “Our hope for it is that it can be a PG-13 that feels like an R. That’s kind of our hope… being able to broaden out the audience for a movie like this.” With no human blood amid all the action, avoiding that R rating becomes more justified.
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Glup Shitto has Godzilla Breath:
To highlight this, Gillis passed around a silicone model of Predator: Badlands’ lovable yet deadly new monster sidekick, Squirt. “So one of the ideas we had was, what if [Dek]… finds a life form that is this sort of snake-like character that he can coax, somehow train, that sits on his shoulder, and it has this ability to spit two chemicals that when they combine in the air, they become explosive and fiery. So that’s what got him nicknamed Squirt.”
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COMEDY!:
It isn’t just nearby animals and objects that Dek and Thia unconventionally use in battle. Stunt Coordinator Jacob Tomuri described a scene in which Thia uses various parts of her severed body in battle: “There’s a sequence where Thia’s legs make her way back to the Thia torso… and they come across the synths. So the legs and the torso work together like a buddy fight. … I can’t say I’ve ever seen this before in anything.”
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Dek only has one eye, despite being seen with two eyes in all trailers and posters:
Dan Trachtenberg truly puts those core themes to the test in Predator: Badlands, humanizing the Predator more than ever before as we follow Dek (played by Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi), a one-eyed runt in his Yautja family, on his risky mission to prove himself by killing the Kalisk, an “unkillable beast.”
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Not only does Dek’s size make him an underdog, but Badlands also gives him a disability that causes others to underestimate him. “Being one eye and smaller than the rest… He’s always thought of as less by his people and his culture, like he’s pretty much shunned.” However, Schuster-Koloamatangi also sees that as a source of strength for Dek, “Having less vision makes it more of a threat, because it’s like, I gotta push through this. … I’m gonna prove everyone wrong.”
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BRAVO DAN.

Edit: apparently there are two Glup Shittos. Bud and Squirt are separate characters. From Bloody-Disgusting:
Gillis explains, “The lead Predator has his equipment, but it is stripped away from him in the crash by the life forms that are on this planet. We had this idea that what if he recreates his weaponry through the use of organic things on the planet? They’ve got the classic Predator shoulder cannon. What if he finds a lifeform that is maybe this sort of snake-like character that he can coax, that sits on his shoulder and has this ability to spit two chemicals that, when they combine in the air, become explosive and fiery? That’s what got him nicknamed Squirt. This was a little character that we designed, and he’s sort of a snake-like guy. But this sits on the Predator’s shoulder, and then he wraps the tail around his arm.”

While Squirt operates more like a traditional weapon, Bud is Dek’s new alien friend who shouldn’t be underestimated despite his cute stature. To say more would risk spoiling the surprises with this little weaponized ally. Expect a wily critter, accordingly to stunt coordinator Jacob Tomuri. He explains, “We’ve got Ravi Narayan playing Bud, and he’s a performer that I’ve known for a long time. We had Bud running around, beating people up, and jumping off things in wire-assisted rigs.“
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Prepare for autism about Weyland-Yutani buying itself back from Wal-Mart, or whatever:
This all takes place way in the future, after everything that we know from the universe of Alien and Weyland-Yutani and Predator and Predator vs. Alien, all that stuff. This is the farthest out that it’s gone.
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But what about the Yautja tax policy? :thinking:
 
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Hallucinogenic Penguin said:
Why does it feel like a Star Wars spin-off with an alien main rather than a Predator movie?
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It's clearly a young adult Predator movie for kids or pedophile weirdo Disney adults. Complete with quip filled dialog for faggots who are on reddit. Baby Yoda level monsters to sell merchandise and toys. Lazy human sounding language for the Predators and other low effort effects (the Predator mask and suit are awful). The entire movie is also spoiled in the trailers and posters in typical modern fashion.

It's a reboot of Predator and AvP for Disney watchers and AvPGalaxy losers that just want more slop to fill the hours in their otherwise empty and meaningless lives. Elle Fanning plays a robot who quips exposition to the audience to keep the retards watching informed at all times. Each scene is simply copied from a videogame battle from God of War or Dark Souls with exact choreography complete with finishing moves and leveling up sequences. And after two hours of slop you get a Xenomorph cameo for the audience to clap over and then immediately post on reddit. "THERE'S A SURPRISE ENDING HOLY SHIT YOU'LL NEVER GUESS!!".

Like how Alien Earth barely felt like an Alien property and was instead some creepy futuristic Peter Pan remake. This will barely feel like a Predator (and Alien) movie and feel more like Ratchet and Clank or some family friendly cartoon. And this will also get 100% positive scores on every possible site. Fully astroturfed across social media and IMDB. AvPGalaxy overrun with sycophant ranting praise. "You're not a Predator fan if you hate Badlands".
 
It looks dreadful. And I don't just mean the predator make-up.

It's a great shame. I very much enjoyed Prey. I guess Critical Drinker will eke out a few more clicks from me as I enjoyed seeing the panel lambast Alien: Earth. (Although oddly they never seemed to talk about the final episode that I could find).
 
Overly Serious said:
It looks dreadful. And I don't just mean the predator make-up.

It's a great shame. I very much enjoyed Prey. I guess Critical Drinker will eke out a few more clicks from me as I enjoyed seeing the panel lambast Alien: Earth. (Although oddly they never seemed to talk about the final episode that I could find).
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This new Predator show basically confirmed what I suspected was happening with Alien:Earth - the capeshitification of the Alien/Predator franchises by Disney. They want that sweet, sweet Marvel Universe money and they're gonna chase that dragon until every IP they bought is ruined like Star Wars was.
 
All I wanted was a movie or two depicting Colonial Marines vs Predators vs Aliens, like in the AvP games.

All I get is gay race communism.
 
TheHarbinger said:
Like how Alien Earth barely felt like an Alien property and was instead some creepy futuristic Peter Pan remake. This will barely feel like a Predator (and Alien) movie and feel more like Ratchet and Clank or some family friendly cartoon. And this will also get 100% positive scores on every possible site. Fully astroturfed across social media and IMDB. AvPGalaxy overrun with sycophant ranting praise. "You're not a Predator fan if you hate Badlands".
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Oh, and only do well because their budget is small enough that its anemic results can be lied about. And forgotten literally less than a week later.
regalterry said:
All I wanted was a movie or two depicting Colonial Marines vs Predators vs Aliens, like in the AvP games.

All I get is gay race communism.
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I wanted them to actually fucking use the United Progressive Peoples, since it's a setting where their communistic bullshit can be argued to have a point due to how shit a lot of the corporations are. I mean they'd ignore that the UPP has its own faults, like leaning on corporate backchannels to "keep the pace with capitalists" and that they can be overly ideological or brutal depending on the take, and that their council is a shitshow due to that.

But neither of these will happen. Hell, it's doing the same thing that limited AVP a bit; the rating chasing for tiktok clip chasing bullshit on the second screen to lie to investors why they shouldn't all be fired. Out of a cannon screaming.
 
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