🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor Bible said:
I'm going to be out of town tomorrow with my dad. Appointment with my psychiatrist. I'm not going to be on here long, because I've got to get to bed early.
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Will you be talking about your short stories with them? Maybe they can suggest ways to help you with time management.
 
Tell the shrink the truth, man. They literally cannot help you correctly unless you do that. Whatever goes on in your head cannot (cue "Optimistic" rainbows) be more embarrassing than some of the things you've said on here. If they give you homework (some cognitive-behavioral therapists will ask you to go home and make a list of good and bad things about yourself, or pros and cons to a decision you're stuck on etc.), skip writing for a couple of days if needed to make time to do this. Outside of very, very specific circumstances, they cannot leak what is said in therapy to your parents, since you're a legal adult.
 
Connor Bible said:
Guys, I want to ask you all something.

Is the @Molly Ringwald on this site real? Seriously. She can't be, because using her name on this site wouldn't be good for PR. It would make her look bad.
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Yes, that is the True and Honest Molly Ringwald. She is my best friend and she is going to post in this thread next Tuesday.
 
Connor Bible said:
Yes. There's no way it can be here. It wouldn't be in her best interests to use this site.
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Connor you've seen that I've always been honest with you, whether it means I'm yelling at you for being dumb or congratulating you when your acting like a human and I can tell you that this is the real molly.
 
Connor Bible said:
An astronaut going insane after coming back to Earth, a biomechanical mound of flesh, an unnaturally nice neighborhood, a haunted toilet, a possessive typewriter, a man shifting into alternate realities, a deranged barber, a little brat torturing miniature beings, a family heirloom with a dark history, and a teenage mother who is driven up the wall by her mutant baby.
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I thought those sounded familiar. You've been "working" on some of these for a while.
Connor Bible said:
Old Mick's Barbershop: A little boy is taken to get a haircut from a deranged barber. Loosely based on something that actually happened in my life.
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Connor Bible said:
I'm working on three this week.
The Conversationalist- A Mafia hitman in New York strikes up conversations with his targets before killing them.
No More Lullabies- A young mother, unable to sleep, kills her allegedly mutant baby. Or does she?
It's The Principle of the Thing- A college student seeks bloody revenge on a boy who had a crush on her in high school.
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