🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Umaibae]

Tess invited Olly over just to cry at her. Total narc move, because Olly just got back from a relaxing read trip. So of course Ryann had some dramatic crisis immediately that requires in person attention.
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Olly is not your boyfriend, nor is she your human kleenex. Neither are your kids. Pull up your XXXXL big girl panties and deal.

Looking radiant! That skin! Those jowls!

 

[Miss Misery]

Socks 'n Crocs...

The way she calls people "followers" (and yes I know it's because they follow her on social media) seems so smug and snobby.

 

[SnarkySperg]

We are supposed to believe that these are her actual steps and not the amount of bites she took from snacks in Disneyland? We all know you are lazy Tess

Maybe but it doesn’t really matter, mine told me I hit my walking milestone as I was literally in the middle of eating dinner the other night.

Everyone knows they aren’t close to accurate.

I've watched my phone count steps when I was riding in a car. I don't buy for a second that she actually got 10K, even with walking around Disneyland.

Tess invited Olly over just to cry at her. Total narc move, because Olly just got back from a relaxing read trip. So of course Ryann had some dramatic crisis immediately that requires in person attention.
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Olly is not your boyfriend, nor is she your human kleenex. Neither are your kids. Pull up your XXXXL big girl panties and deal.

LMAO she is so fucking needy. She's all of the Cluster B disorders.

Socks 'n Crocs...

The way she calls people "followers" (and yes I know it's because they follow her on social media) seems so smug and snobby.

It is. She thinks she's an influencer.

 

[Umaibae]

It is. She thinks she's an influencer.

To be fair, Tess influences me…

…to not eat trash and to exercise daily.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Tess jiggles so much that the phone likely registers multiple steps per actual step taken.

LMAO she is so fucking needy. She's all of the Cluster B disorders.

Pride month is halfway over and Tubby Tess doesn’t have a hot queer to call her own. Since Olly hasn’t shown up yet (Olly must have better options at this point), Tess would do the next best thing to get her over: manipulate.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

To be fair, Tess influences me…

…to not eat trash and to exercise daily.

She influences me to be not be trash and stay away from places like L.A.

People, flipping burgers and working several jobs to make ends meet have a more dignified existence than Tess who rims celebrities, brands and token populations in an desperate attempt for clout. While spouting obnoxiously stupid Shit in another desperate attempt to get clout.

Mixed in with her arrogance, she is a stereotypical L. A. bootlicker.

 

[Free the Pedos]

She influences me to be not be trash and stay away from places like L.A.

People, flipping burgers and working several jobs to make ends meet have a more dignified existence than Tess who rims celebrities, brands and token populations in an desperate attempt for clout. While spouting obnoxiously stupid Shit in another desperate attempt to get clout.

Mixed in with her arrogance, she is a stereotypical L. A. bootlicker.

The lady who cleans Tess's house has 100x more dignity than she does.

 

[multiverse]

The lady who cleans Tess's house has 100x more dignity than she does.

Poor Marisol. We should start a trauma fund for her.

Pride month is halfway over and Tubby Tess doesn’t have a hot queer to call her own. Since Olly hasn’t shown up yet (Olly must have better options at this point), Tess would do the next best thing to get her over: manipulate.

Oh, Olly showed up over the weekend- cutting short her extended Western road trip in an RV with other normal size lesbians - to let Ryann cry on her shoulder.

Olly. Girl. Love yourself more.

An-y-way, here's Tess tossing her much-touted "boundary respecting" for her eldest son right out the window, because this is SPONSORED!!!! Let Ryann tell you alllllll about her struggles as a mawm, for money!

Here's a photo of the son she promised she would no longer exploit in public, because she's the strongest mom ever who needs that fucking check right now, RYLEE.


She touched his back. He put his closest hand in his pocket. Stay strong, Rylee - only three more years and you never have to speak to her again. We'll be rooting for you, kid.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I still can't believe those kids came out of that cunt.

 

[hall&oates]

Here's a photo of the son she promised she would no longer exploit in public, because she's the strongest mom ever who needs that fucking check right now, RYLEE.
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She touched his back. He put his closest hand in his pocket. Stay strong, Rylee - only three more years and you never have to speak to her again. We'll be rooting for you, kid.

What does being “queer” have to do with being a single parent? Imagine praising yourself for being a single parent when one of your kids doesn’t even live with you

 

[LonesomeDud]

Poor Marisol. We should start a trauma fund for her.


Oh, Olly showed up over the weekend- cutting short her extended Western road trip in an RV with other normal size lesbians - to let Ryann cry on her shoulder.

Olly. Girl. Love yourself more.

An-y-way, here's Tess tossing her much-touted "boundary respecting" for her eldest son right out the window, because this is SPONSORED!!!! Let Ryann tell you alllllll about her struggles as a mawm, for money!

Here's a photo of the son she promised she would no longer exploit in public, because she's the strongest mom ever who needs that fucking check right now, RYLEE.
View attachment 2265439

She touched his back. He put his closest hand in his pocket. Stay strong, Rylee - only three more years and you never have to speak to her again. We'll be rooting for you, kid.

Her body is very twisted away from him. My relationship with my own parents is different than most Westerners, but I can't imagine my parents despising me that when we're spending time together they would twist themselves away from me, and certainly not when I was a young child still in their care. When I finally left home, my mother cried every night for years. I wonder if Tess ever cried one night for Rylee.

 

[Umaibae]

She influences me to be not be trash and stay away from places like L.A.

People, flipping burgers and working several jobs to make ends meet have a more dignified existence than Tess who rims celebrities, brands and token populations in an desperate attempt for clout. While spouting obnoxiously stupid Shit in another desperate attempt to get clout.

Mixed in with her arrogance, she is a stereotypical L. A. bootlicker.

No, Tess is not emblematic of LA. Don’t forget: Tess lives in LONG BEACH which is NOT LA. Tess pretends like she’s a glamorous LA celebrity, but the city and its natives (not shitty transplants like her) would eat her alive. Californians can smell a phony from a mile away. Social climbers are not welcome and are quickly shunned. Not to mention, she can’t afford LA.

The people who give LA a bad name are transplants from flyover states. They come thinking the city is their playground and then flee in 2-3 years because they can’t hack it.

LA natives are kind and open with their own. But Tess’ type? Feeding frenzy. That’s when the evil switch gets turned on. Angelenos love fucking with transplants.

 

[suicide hotline]

Poor Marisol. We should start a trauma fund for her.


Oh, Olly showed up over the weekend- cutting short her extended Western road trip in an RV with other normal size lesbians - to let Ryann cry on her shoulder.

Olly. Girl. Love yourself more.

An-y-way, here's Tess tossing her much-touted "boundary respecting" for her eldest son right out the window, because this is SPONSORED!!!! Let Ryann tell you alllllll about her struggles as a mawm, for money!

Here's a photo of the son she promised she would no longer exploit in public, because she's the strongest mom ever who needs that fucking check right now, RYLEE.
View attachment 2265439

She touched his back. He put his closest hand in his pocket. Stay strong, Rylee - only three more years and you never have to speak to her again. We'll be rooting for you, kid.

He really does seem like a good kid. I often wonder whether he's found this thread yet, and whether he's read it. Being as how terminally online Zoomers are, it wouldn't surprise me. I don't hold out a lot of hope for most kids of lolcows, but Rylee seems like he really might make it away from her and have a nice, normal, quietly successful and stable life. I want him to get really into weightlifting and nutrition both as a fuck you to his miserable sow of a mother and also just so he can be his best self.

 

[Water-T]

I KNOW YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE EMBARASSED TO BE ON MY SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT MOMMA HASN'T HAD A PAYING GIG FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS AND MY CREDIT CARDS ARE ALL MAXED OUT!

No, mom! All the guys at school yell "SON OF A FAT WHORE!" and "YOUR MOMMA FARTS ON CAKES!" at me in the halls, and none of the girls at school will date me!

FINE! DO THIS AND I'LL BUY YOU A PS5, OK? MOMMA NEEDS THIS CASH TO BUY MORE BLACK GIRL HAIR EXTENSIONS AND GHETTO NAILS! DID YOU KNOW I'M AN HONORARY BLACK WOMAN?

I really hope it gets flooded with people asking her about dumping Rylee on an ex and her cake farting side job

 

[blue gopher snakes]

No, Tess is not emblematic of LA. Don’t forget: Tess lives in LONG BEACH which is NOT LA. Tess pretends like she’s a glamorous LA celebrity, but the city and its natives (not shitty transplants like her) would eat her alive. Californians can smell a phony from a mile away. Social climbers are not welcome and are quickly shunned. Not to mention, she can’t afford LA.

The people who give LA a bad name are transplants from flyover states. They come thinking the city is their playground and then flee in 2-3 years because they can’t hack it.

LA natives are kind and open with their own. But Tess’ type? Feeding frenzy. That’s when the evil switch gets turned on. Angelenos love fucking with transplants.

Yup. All of this is true. She keeps company (as much of a revolving door as her friendships are) with primarily other transplants for this exact reason. She’ll never be local. She might be able to fool the few remaining fatties who follow her in good faith, but rest assured that she’s nothing more than a Mississippi sideshow pretender to the locals. Faker bitch.

Eventually they either make it enough to form enclaves of other non-locals who like to pretend that they know what’s good OR they can’t hack it and move back to East Jesus Nobodygivesafuck and spend the rest of their pointless lives complaining about California because they think it makes them seem more cultured or well-traveled.

Everyone’s laughing at Ryann out here. Long after her 8XL bloated whale corpse gets shipped back to some Mississippi River Delta cemetery for the criminally obese, we’ll be laughing.

 

[multiverse]

So Olly rolled back into town and is back to cosplaying as Bowie’s "father". She looks more frail than ever. Tess is happily pretending they're a couple having a nice normal date at the Outback Fucking Steak House (proof they're both trashy transplants more than anything else). Please be reminded that Olly is a vegan and will be dining on air.

Nana Beth rolled into town as well, right after Jolene just left (althoughshe'smore strict than Rylee is when it comes to her daughter sticking a camera in her face). I wish she'd just take Bowie back to Mississippi with her.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

So Olly rolled back into town and is back to collating as Bowie’s "father". She looks more frail than ever. Tess is happily pretending they're a couple having a nice normal date at the Outback Fucking Steak House (proof they're both trashy transplants more than anything else). Please be reminded that Olly is a vegan and will be dining on air.

Nana Beth rolled into town as well, right after Jolene just left (althoughshe'smore strict than Rylee is when it comes to her daughter sticking a camera in her face). I wish she'd just take Bowie back to Mississippi with her.
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Bowie needs a trim, for fucks sake. He looks like someone just found him living with a pack of wild dogs and not in the carefree wild child way Tess thinks.

Ollie is digging her biologically-female heels in with her eating disorder. Woof. Those chicken legs are wasting away to chicken bones.

Re: “gayin up Outback Steakhouse”, good lord. OUTBACK?! Tess is broke. There are FAR superior steakhouses near Tess’ pig stall in Long Beach but I bet you a champagne cake Tess can’t afford any of them. I hope whatever parts of Mama Hoven’s brain were scrambled in that gunshot attack included her ability to be embarrassed by her daughter.

 

[Umaibae]

WOW WHAT A SUPERMODEL!! With a built-in shelf, too!

 

[bloomingcactus]

This just looks wrong. Probably just me.


Looking really rough Tessie. Sun damage? Red and splotchy. Looks like her smoking, drinking and her diet are really taking their toll. I think that's a zit on her chin(s).


Put a FUCKING elastic in his hair. Or better yet get him a goddamn haircut. This can't be comfortable for a young boy on a fucking summer day in LA. She's so fucking selfish.


Fake asspats and woke points. I think a lot of people have the same opinion about the gay/queer claims as the anorexia bullshit.


And finally will the real Ryann please stand up!

 

[Water-T]

Let me adjust my tinfoil hat here....

Tess's meltdown that she "needed" Ollie to witness is because her sugar daddy cut her off. So now she's called up Mama Beth to either squeeze her for money, to dump Bowie on, or to beg her to let Tess stay with her. Tess only remembers that Mama Beth exists when she wants something from her.

Think about it - Tess has no steady non-whoring income, work has dried up, she's resorted to shill for free junk food, her credit is maxed out, she owes tons to the IRS, and her last few attention grabs availed her nada. If her sugar daddy cut her off, she is FUCKED.

I can almost guarantee you that her SD either got tired of her shit, found someone hotter/younger/fatter/less cunty, or got spooked by all the people on YouTube commenting on her cake-farting.