DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Hair aside, look at his face structure; deep crease starting from his eyes down his cheeks, the area around his mouth is all puffy; everything is droopy. The right side of his mouth all fucked when he opens his mouth.

He's a swollen unhealthy sack of shit.
 
The slicked-back hair to cover up the bald spot, the patchy goatee, the vest... Phil's making himself look more Itahlien than he realized and he certainly comes across more like an American guido than the time where he LARPed as a Full Blahded Itahlien back in the day. Fuck the vest streak, he should do an Authentic Guido streak, where for the first incentive he puts on a Goodfellas/Godfather/Sopranos shirt, the second one he puts on the vest, the third he takes 5 minutes out of the stream to talk about how much he loves his mama and her cooking and for the final incentive he'd start beating his wife to complete the Authentic Itahlien look and lifestyle. And if beating Khet is too much, he could replace it with taking 10 minutes out of the stream to talk about how much he hates those mulignans.
 
TheTractor said:
Hair aside, look at his face structure; deep crease starting from his eyes down his cheeks, the area around his mouth is all puffy; everything is droopy. The right side of his mouth all fucked when he opens his mouth.

He's a swollen unhealthy sack of shit.
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Yeah. You can even draw Phil with only downward curved, uhm, curves quite accurately. Every sad depressed line follows gravity, from eyebrows, to wrinkles, eyes mouth and beard.
As if someone put jello on his face and its slowly melting.

The only reason I used upward curved lines: habit.

EdrPdW7XkAAaNQG.jpeg
 
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Wurstbrot said:
Yeah. You can even draw Phil with only downward curved, uhm, curves quite accurately. Every sad depressed line follows gravity, from eyebrows, to wrinkles, eyes mouth and beard.
As if someone put jello on his face and its slowly melting.

The only reason I used upward curved lines: habit.

View attachment 1472224
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That's the world's worst squidward drawing
 
Remember when he claimed he was burned in the car accident? I'm surprised he hasn't excused his raging bald spot as a burn scar. Even that would be more plausible than "my mom combed my hair wrong!"
 
Schmeckel said:
Well, he is generally republican... Trying to take after his favorite bigly-talking politician with a combover....
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He's generally nonvoter. The only dedicated state is the State of Phil, financed with foreign money and powered by just one lazy worker who has to maintain the entire state all by himself. It's impossible!
 
Wurstbrot said:
He's generally nonvoter. The only dedicated state is the State of Phil, financed with foreign money and powered by just one lazy worker who has to maintain the entire state all by himself. It's impossible!
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Phil knows how the government works.

The people vote for what they want. The government ignores the troll votes and the impossible candidates and picks the real winner.

Just like viewer's choice.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
I'm legit curious to see just how bad Phil is going to let it get before he finally gives up and stops trying to hide how bald he is.

And since you read, Phil, I'll tell you: the longer you let this go on, the more we're going to make fun of you.
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But that would be letting the detractors win. If it gets really bad he'll probably spend money on rogaine or hair plugs or a shitty wig, anything to own those dirty detractors.
This is the same man who refuses to wear his glasses because he thinks the detractors are gonna call him four eyes. We're all mentally ill nudniks with a kindergarten level mental age so of course a Mature Adult like Phil wouldn't be bothered by the kindergarten level insults that would be hurled at him if he wore the glasses that he is supposed to wear at all times.
Oh wait.
 
yoshitsune said:
But that would be letting the detractors win. If it gets really bad he'll probably spend money on rogaine or hair plugs or a shitty wig, anything to own those dirty detractors.
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What's funny is that a "win" for us (the kind that Phil hates), is an actual win for him so long as it improves his quality of life, which it definitely would if he got over his fear of how he looks bald. Or did something about his mobile gaming addiction. Or did something about his terrible manners. I could go on, of course. Point is, whether we mean to or not, Phil would be better person if he allowed himself to get molded by us. Instead he just reacts, feeding us more laughs than we would otherwise get. Like if he did what you speculate and got hair plugs or something.

This is the same man who refuses to wear his glasses because he thinks the detractors are gonna call him four eyes. We're all mentally ill nudniks with a kindergarten level mental age so of course a Mature Adult like Phil wouldn't be bothered by the kindergarten level insults that would be hurled at him if he wore the glasses that he is supposed to wear at all times.
Oh wait.
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Replace "detractors" with "literally anybody". He has never, to my knowledge, been seen on camera wearing glasses, which means he didn't need anybody like us making fun of him to be afraid to wear them. He also constantly says he only needs them for seeing far away, even though he visibly sucks more at video games from not being able to see shit, and he visibly does not notice this, which means it's more because he's that fucking stupid.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
What's funny is that a "win" for us (the kind that Phil hates), is an actual win for him so long as it improves his quality of life, which it definitely would if he got over his fear of how he looks bald. Or did something about his mobile gaming addiction. Or did something about his terrible manners. I could go on, of course. Point is, whether we mean to or not, Phil would be better person if he allowed himself to get molded by us. Instead he just reacts, feeding us more laughs than we would otherwise get. Like if he did what you speculate and got hair plugs or something.



Replace "detractors" with "literally anybody". He has never, to my knowledge, been seen on camera wearing glasses, which means he didn't need anybody like us making fun of him to be afraid to wear them. He also constantly says he only needs them for seeing far away, even though he visibly sucks more at video games from not being able to see shit, and he visibly does not notice this, which means it's more because he's that fucking stupid.
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There is a video where he is trying to read chat and says, "I can't see chat. I'm dumb! I just got new glasses, I should go grab them. Okay, now I can see! This is much better, how dumb. I got new glasses and I forgot to wear them. Ok, I can read chat now..."

Someone must have made fun of him because he stopped wearing them and instead just leans closer to his computer monitor or television to read.
 
Sparkletor 2.0 said:
There is a video where he is trying to read chat and says, "I can't see chat. I'm dumb! I just got new glasses, I should go grab them. Okay, now I can see! This is much better, how dumb. I got new glasses and I forgot to wear them. Ok, I can read chat now..."

Someone must have made fun of him because he stopped wearing them and instead just leans closer to his computer monitor or television to read.
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Like I said in another thread, Phil always runs from a small fire and straight into a bigger one...
 
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