DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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hector85 said:
think hes dying his hair? unless I'm blind, aside from being patchy his goatee is showing a decent bit of grey
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Wow DSP really stealing everything from Howard Stern and butchering it. The same unrealisticly jet black hair while their facial hair is grey.

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PieceofShet said:
Im not sure what is this but I saw it on reddit.

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EDIT:

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If DSP had fine hair thish could easily just be what happens when light hits it at an angle, but we've all seen how grotesquely thick and greasy his hair is. This is undeniably thinning.
 
The video in question is 'DSP's Tournament Survival Guide pt1 - Packing' from the epic channel DSPStreetFighter posted Feb 25, 2011

At 42 seconds into the video he gets up from the couch (which looks like he actually struggles with) and displays his strange glowing scalp directly to the camera.

 
That is definitely severe thinning of the hair. If he cut it that short now he would look like he has alopecia. Maybe he even DOES.

Either way, we make fun of him not for the hair loss, but for the way he so unconvincingly tries to hide it.
 
He probably actually has rather fine hair, but he's so ungodly greasy and rarely showers that it just appears "thicker" when it's all stuck together. So when it's buzzed down like that, you can see how thin it really is.

He's a couple years away from going to his hair dresser and saying "Give me the orange man combover, okay?"
 
Schmeckel said:
He probably actually has rather fine hair, but he's so ungodly greasy and rarely showers that it just appears "thicker" when it's all stuck together. So when it's buzzed down like that, you can see how thin it really is.

He's a couple years away from going to his hair dresser and saying "Give me the orange man combover, okay?"
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He's going to allow his hair to thin out even more.
 
Oh, so that's why he grows it out all "longish" and greasy, hm? I guess the grease is a natural styling product to try to plaster the longish thin strands to his noggin' and hide the bald. He'd look and probably feel a lot better if he just accepted it and shaved it off.
 
About the dark hair/grey beard thing, for you young guys, you'll see that once you hit 40, plenty of you will have some (or a lot of) grey in your beards/goatees years before you turn grey in the hair on your head (if you're not bald). That's common. I don't think Phil dyes his hair. He just slicks what's left of that greasy mop back and has a patchy greyish beard.
 
strandedcastaway said:
About the dark hair/grey beard thing, for you young guys, you'll see that once you hit 40, plenty of you will have some (or a lot of) grey in your beards/goatees years before you turn grey in the hair on your head (if you're not bald). That's common. I don't think Phil dyes his hair. He just slicks what's left of that greasy mop back and has a patchy greyish beard.
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Part of me is sus' because he tends to have his own hair salon bitch and comes back the next day lookin the same. Why make that extra effort if he's just gonna slick it back like a lazy greaseball?
 
SkippyLongbottom said:
Part of me is sus' because he tends to have his own hair salon bitch and comes back the next day lookin the same. Why make that extra effort if he's just gonna slick it back like a lazy greaseball?
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Because he has a pathological need to oversell everything. He's probably hitting up a fucking great clips or some shit.
 
You would think that with all the money he's made over the years, he would have invested in products that prevent hair loss or maybe some kind of hair transplant. Unlike his fake back injury, it's something that is real and he actually feels self-conscious about. Why not try to fix it?
 
LordofCringe7206 said:
You would think that with all the money he's made over the years, he would have invested in products that prevent hair loss or maybe some kind of hair transplant. Unlike his fake back injury, it's something that is real and he actually feels self-conscious about. Why not try to fix it?
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Because that would include him admitting its an actual problem and not something that can be fixed by a stylist and pretending it doesn't exist.
 
LordofCringe7206 said:
Unlike his fake back injury, it's something that is real and he actually feels self-conscious about. Why not try to fix it?
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Because it involves deferred gratification. Hair plugs are not cheap even for someone with Pig's income and can be painful + uncomfortable right after the treatment. Why do that when he could fork over the same amount of money to WWE Gacha and get the "You Win!" screen right away?

We are also talking about someone who is addicted to his creature comforts-in his mind all the shit he wastes money on (frequent restaurant meals, multiple streaming services, probably a half-dozen other things I hadn't thought of) is a "vital necessity". So in his uniquely retarded worldview, there's no spare or extra money he could put towards hair plugs.
 
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