💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Rabbit Bones]

Jack Scalfani, perpetual victim:

He wasn't being very pro-life when he attacked and strangled his son.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

Jack has some weird doorbell on every door in the house according to him. Is he a secret coomer? Why the fuck other reason would you do that?

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

Is he a secret coomer?

Jack's a 400lb. middle-aged, stroked out, diabetic, borderline immobile lardass. Not only can Jack probably not find his dick, I doubt he can even get it hard.

 

[Adamska]

How can one be "pro-life" when you can't even take care of your OWN life? Jack "The Hypo (Critical) Christian Boomer" has spoken.

Honestly he lost the ability to say that he's pro-life the moment he tarded out and tried to post-birth abortion (murder) his eldest son. And hilarious, fatty couldn't even walk a full 3 miles, since 5 km ~ 3 miles; it's not even that goddamn hard to do.

Jack revealed why he was placed on the graveyard shift for radio and eventually fired: he wouldn't stick to the format for the shift and would play whatever he felt like playing. This is a HUGE no-no in radio for a few reasons.

First: Jack was given a list of approved songs. If the station I'm at is adult contemporary, the audience wants to hear some goddamn Celine Dion and Bryan Adams, not Notorious B.I.G. or Sex Pistols.
Second: If the FCC is monitoring my station that day and I play a song with bad language in it, i could cost the station tens of thousands of dollars in fines and hundreds of thousands in sponsorship money.

Jesus, so he was such a stubborn manchild that he quickly became jobless. Man, no wonder Tammy hates his guts; he can't even keep a simple job like that.

someone asked him about fish hook on the live chat and he quickly said "fish hook is doing good" and moved onto the next question. jack truly is bitter towards charles for some reason

also, jack still thinks bangladesh is in the middle east and that they speak arabic there

Fat Jack is so mad that Charles told him to take smaller bites. Jack the Glutton is pissed that his former friend casually outcooked him with no effort. Tubbo is still enraged that Charles finally said "Jack, I don't want to go to this buffet; its sushi will basically be the same as any others. Can't we just go to a place that serves actual fish?" and thus denied him of cheap ass shit to shovel down his throat with a starving desperation.

He told the story of the Facebook saga today in his live chat. It starts around 3 minutes in.

How my Facebook page got stolen

TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO AFTER WATCHING MY VIDEO 1. SHOP AT MY STORE HTTP://AMAZONJACK.STORE 2. BUY MY SAUCES & SEASONING HTTP://COOKINGWITHJACK.COM Jack's mott...

www.youtube.com

Someone from a respected Beverly Hills advertising agency contacted him and offered him $150 a day to run one ad on his page, which had about 18k followers at the time. Jack did not think this was a scam.
Jack said he wanted to review the ads before they were run, but gave the guy from the respected advertising agency editor permissions anyway. To his complete surprise, this Middle Eastern man from Bangladesh (he could tell it's Arabic writing) took his page over and locked him out. When Jack contacted the agency, it was revealed to him that the man he was talking to did not work there.
Jack said this is Facebook's fault because it's a big security flaw on their part, and that YouTube is much better about warning you when these things happen.
What a fucking moron.
edit: just saw the video posted above where he explains most of this and how stupid he is

I still believe fatty bought likes and this is him trying to lie and make sure he doesn't lose his little boomer sandbox.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

And hilarious, fatty couldn't even walk a full 3 miles, since 5 km ~ 3 miles; it's not even that goddamn hard to do.

Most people could easily walk 3 miles in around an hour. Even out of shape people could easily do it.

Why would he even attempt a 5k when he has to use a mobile scooter at the grocery store?

 

[Aaway]

someone on twitter called jack out for his pro-life stance and predictably the fat bitch couldn't take it

also, here's the new video on jack's "christian" channel where he and the other guy talk about kanye west

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

also, here's the new video on jack's "christian" channel where he and the other guy talk about kanye west
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ohmkkjxUvog

Two Evangelical Christian redneck boomers discuss hip-hop without a hint of irony. Amazing.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

View attachment 1012252
LMAO

Jack “The Attack Came from the Middle East” Scalfani, ladies and gentlemen. The distance between Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, and Dhaka, Bangladesh, is 4,413 kilometres. To put that into a funnier perspective, that would be like claiming that Nashville-based Jack livestreams from Cornwallis Island in the Qikiqtaaluk Region of Canada. He’d probably be of better use to the natives of Qikiqtaaluk than he is the people of Nashville, mind you—the Inuit could turn his blubber into an oil that would burn a lamp for 20 years.



Updated Locations:

Jack’s kitchen is in Marrakesh.



When Jack’s on the go, he’s in Salvador, Brazil.



And lastly, Jack filmed all of his Fish Hook videos in the nearby fishing town of Honolulu.



When Jack’s off, he’s off.

 

[Skeletor]

I assume that it's this video and at 14:30 onwards? https://youtube.com/watch?v=Dk8aTeFVfF0
Fat Jack does look pissed!

I see Charles has learned Jack's trick of grabbing someone else's preview image.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

Tammy is fucking enormous. Sweet jesus. You only appreciate the sheer mass of Jack and Tammy when they are with normal sized people

I was going to say the same thing. I didn't realize how large Tammy is. No one in that 5k photo is particularly thin, I'd estimate the other women there are around a size 12/14, and they still look like 1/2 the size of Tammy.

 

[AnOminous]

Can he really not see how sad and unappetizing that looks?

This is why this actually just pisses me the fuck off. He took some quality ingredients and turned them into garbage you'd throw in a dumpster and nobody would ever actually eat. Fuck you, Jack. You piece of shit.

It's entirely possible to have made this dish into something good, or at least edible. Jack instead turned it into fucking garbage.

 

[Aaway]

I see Charles has learned Jack's trick of grabbing someone else's preview image.

yeah that's the only knock on charles so far (aside from the fact that he attends the same church as jack led by the murderer pastor)

but the last few cooking videos on fish hook have not had stolen images as thumbnails so it seems like charles has almost completely rid himself of jack's influence

 

[Jersey Devil]

OFFICIAL JACK SCALFANI DEATH POOL

USER​	CAUSE OF DEATH​	EST. DATE OF DEATH​	KETO POINTS​
Murmur​	Heart Attack​	Early 2021​	500​
Wilhem Bittrich​	3rd Stroke​	Mid to Late 2020​	300​
The Wichita Lion​	Ham Sandwich​	May 11, 2021 (Ramadan)​	420​
FemalePresident​	3rd Stroke​	March, 2021​	666​
SmileyTimeDayCare​	Sepsis by Food Poisoning​	Early 2022​	456​
Religion is Dead​	Diabetes​	Mid 2020​	600​
Mesosalpinx​	Gangrene w/ side of diabetes and cholesterol​	April, 2020​	365​
Chamulum​	3rd Stroke and diabetes combo​	Early to Mid 2020​	148​
Mein Garten​	Coronary artery disease w/ an aneurysm​	Fall 2021​	1965​
Begemot​	Trichinosis​	April, 2020​	350​
Man vs persistent rat​	Stroke leading to coma and death​	August, 2022​	400​
Xochi​	Beaten to death by actual chefs​	January, 2021​	19,324,557,416​
captkrisma​	Stroke and heart failure​	Late, 2020​	1​
Waifuman Cooper​	Stroke​	June, 2020​	1776​
AnOminous​	Stroke​	Julay 4th, 2020​	2020​
Rod Dangerous​	Pulmonary embolism​	4th Quarter 2022​	25​
LordofCringe7206​	Salmonella Infection​	March, 2020​	2​
Captain Fitzbattleaxe​	Complications from gastric bypass surgery​	March, 2023​	500​
Suburban Bastard​	Berry Aneurysm​	January, 2021​	6969​
Dave Meltzer​	Murdered by Maury Davis for shoe related transgression​	Christmas Eve 2019​	202​
Adamska​	Cardiac Arrest​	June, 2022​	3350​
Stock Photo Hacker​	Shot by a rogue Mcdonalds manager​	April, 2020​	420​
Archie_Kimkicker​	Thrown off cliff by Tammy's bull (for insurance)​	February, 2020​	1488​
Redeemer and Destroyer​	3rd Stroke​	Summer 2020​	777​
Spasticus Autisticus​	Heart Attack from witnessing Tammy making love to a black gentleman​	February, 2021​	69​
Kamov Ka-52​	Stroke​	Mid 2020​	1488​
Pineapple Fox​	Gangrene caused by uncontrolled diabetes​	October, 2020​	30​
GandT​	Choked out by son​	June 21st, 2020 (Father's Day)​	420​
Mr. Manchester​	Complications from final stroke​	April, 2021​	201​
desu91​	Stroke w/ a side of head trauma​	Mid 2020​	9001​
ObeseScreaming- BlackMan​	Crushed by AS SEEN ON TV gadgets.​	Winter 2021​	42069​
salmonellajack​	Head trauma via shoe​	April, 2020​	187​
Coconut Gun​	Natural causes while surrounded by loved ones​	Summer 2054​	0​
irishAzoth​	Cirrhosis​	Summer 2022​	1337​
GloriousRapeRabbit​	Heart attack after stroke and two year coma​	April, 2022​	789​
Chive Turkey​	3rd Stroke​	June, 2025​	7​
Mr._Blonde​	4th Stroke​	April, 2022​	300​
Scented Candle​	Smited by the good Lord for blasphemous onion ring sorcery​	February, 2024​	80,085​
Zaryiu​	Atherosclerosis​	2020 or 2030+​	2013​
Dirty Mug​	Chokes on a dick burger post 3rd stroke​	December, 2021​	1488​
Slimy Time​	Fatal stroke​	July, 2022​	1266​
feral cat #6385​	Mr. Hands'ed by Tammy's bull after a case of mistaken identity​	June 21st, 2020​	9001​
A Single Cheeto​	Tragic house fire​	Apparently Never​	80085​
Raindrop3000​	Killed by one of Jack Jr.'s Christian rapper rivals, or heart attack​	December 12th, 2020​	10,000​

To enter, reply to this post with your guess at the cause of death, a rough estimate on when, and how many Keto Points you are betting.

On the day of Jack's death, the entrant with the best guess will receive ALL Keto Points entered into the pool.

This post will be updated as bets come in. Good luck to you all!

User: Jersey Devil
Cause of Death: Gas gangrene as a result of untreated diabetes complications
Time: Winter of 2021
Keto Points: I am willing to bet my life savings of 400,000 points.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

Jack's a 400lb. middle-aged, stroked out, diabetic, borderline immobile lardass. Not only can Jack probably not find his dick, I doubt he can even get it hard.

So he's a wannabe coomer?

 

[Aunt Myrna]

I see Charles has learned Jack's trick of grabbing someone else's preview image.

That was 7 months ago when Jack was still obviously in control of the channel. Not to say Charles has never stolen a thumbnail, but that one was 100% Jack.

 

[captkrisma]

So...going and looking at wasabi mashed potato recipies...it appears that Jack tried to be as lazy as possible with this one, as every recipie calls for wasabi paste or powder to taste. Jack says "fuck it" and finds a cheese with wasabi in it and tries futilely to incorporate it into the potatoes.

 

[Adamska]

So...going and looking at wasabi mashed potato recipies...it appears that Jack tried to be as lazy as possible with this one, as every recipie calls for wasabi paste or powder to taste. Jack says "fuck it" and finds a cheese with wasabi in it and tries futilely to incorporate it into the potatoes.

Honestly think he just wanted to have cheesy potatoes myself. But if that was the case, why not just make a spicy variant of potatoes au gratin?

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Herro ferrow farmers. I am Ralph Barnhardt of no fame whatsoever. Recently my favorite cow, Bob "MovieBob" Chipman announced his latest culinary masterpiece.

Spoiler: it's not a bag of blood but that is duck-tape

Image provided by @Quixotic Man

I'm not familiar with Jack other than skimming through the OP. Has Jack tried anything like this before? I would find it very disturbing and yet intriguing if there were two speds out there who would do something as horrible as this to their food. Thank you and dosvedanya.

 

[leadenema]

Herro ferrow farmers. I am Ralph Barnhardt of no fame whatsoever. Recently my favorite cow, Bob "MovieBob" Chipman announced his latest culinary masterpiece.

Spoiler: it's not a bag of blood but that is duck-tape

Image provided by @Quixotic Man
View attachment 1013599

I'm not familiar with Jack other than skimming through the OP. Has Jack tried anything like this before? I would find it very disturbing and yet intriguing if there were two speds out there who would do something as horrible as this to their food. Thank you and dosvedanya.

Who in the absolute fuck thinks spicy = 3 different types of hot sauces, sriracha and hot taco seasoning. Because some arbitrary blend of products will make your "own" sauce? Sounds disgusting as it looks.

Jack would love it.

 

[Lousy Cleaning Service]

Who in the absolute fuck thinks spicy = 3 different types of hot sauces, sriracha and hot taco seasoning. Because some arbitrary blend of products will make your "own" sauce? Sounds disgusting as it looks.

Jack would love it.

Jack's colitis wouldn't tolerate all that