💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Whatthefuck said:
In this screen shot you can tell he's overcompensating on his left hand side. He actually got lucky having a left brain stroke (for anyone who doesn't know if you have a left brain stroke it affects the right side of your body and a right brain stroke affects your left side) because it generally causes way worse deficiencies than what he's presenting. His speech and tardedness aren't nearly as affected as they could have been, but he does show significant differences in those respects from a few years ago. Usually a left brain stroke is easier to come back from physically and harder to come back from the deficiencies in your mental faculties (meaning learning to eat, speak, write again, hell, sometimes you sound like a fucking schizophrenic because your brain is saying words or phrases that to you sound correct, but are in no way correct. The brain is a crazy bitch). I can tell he did no physical therapy and is still doing none so you see that overcompensation on the left side of his body.

Is Jack left or right handed? I'll be fucked if I'm going back to check. If he's left handed, he's genuinely lucky.
Click to expand...
i believe he did go to a rehab center for his arm (per one of his videos) but clearly his trademark laziness kicked in and he stopped going after a while
 
Can he really not see how sad and unappetizing that looks? Why am I even asking. ‘Course he can’t. Papa Salmonella is such an impatient little glutton. He can’t wait to stuff his ravenous beast of a gut, can he? It reminds of that video where he was testing some gimmick claws for shredding meat, and his pork was pretty much raw inside. He was tearing through raw flesh and tough sinew and saying how amazing it looked. He’s either the world’s biggest troll or mentally deficient.

Next time you cook this maybe parboil the brussel sprouts and cut the bacon into small bits, you fat fuck, so it all roasts quickly enough before your gluttony takes over.
 
"They [brussel sprouts] have a sweetness all by themselves."
- Adds half a cup of maple syrup. It's organic so that means it's keto I think

1573854710460.png

Imagine having a cooking show and having to slice vegetables like this and making absolutely no effort to not have another stroke.

1573854442871.png

Sticky maple syrup, raw pork, silicon ring and unwashed hand. YUMMERS.

"The salt is just for flavor." Oh okay Jack thanks. I thought you were trying to cure the brussel sprouts.
Jack's review: "Simple dirt-easy dish that's absolutely delicious." Jack is such a wordsmith. Dirt easy is such a good way to describe food. It's up there with when he describes ingredients as "ewwww".
 
Aaway said:
this is probably the saddest JOTG video

its right after his last stroke and its pretty much just tammy taking apart the sandwiches for him to try while he sits there looking fat as fuck and completely stroked out

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ivevmZg5uE8
Click to expand...

Yet somehow he looks worse now.

Chamulum said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jcZPp5xAze4 In typical Jack fashion, he gives us barely cooked bacon and undercooked greens.

Those sprouts are also way too close to one another so he fucking steamed which is not a texture you want with Brussels sprouts.
Click to expand...
Charlie Delicious said:
Noticed he tells you to cut the stem ends off the sprout. Then in the pan shot i see he didn't do it for all of them.

View attachment 1011028
Click to expand...

Nice catch. He also cuts them like a sped. Does he think the fork makes him seem cool? Is that a Jack-hack? Edited in: I just realized it is because he can't even steady a fucking Brussels sprout with his dead arm...he might as well have it hacked off and replaced with a wire hanger at this point.

I noticed something as well. Why the fuck are the utensils smoking?

butwhythough.PNG
 
Last edited:
SmileyTimeDayCare said:
Yet somehow he looks worse now.




Nice catch. He also cuts them like a sped. Does he think the fork makes him seem cool? Is that a Jack-hack? Edited in: I just realized it is because he can't even steady a fucking Brussels sprout with his dead arm...he might as well have it hacked off and replaced with a wire hanger at this point.

I noticed something as well. Why the fuck are the utensils smoking?

View attachment 1011511
Click to expand...
They are cooking utensils. As in, they cook the food as you cut it and move it towards the gaping maw that is the physical manifestation of Jack's hunger. Now he no longer needs a stove, microwave, 13 grills and smokers.
 
Freudian slip, Jack?

Screen Shot 2019-11-16 at 9.25.41 AM.png


Jack Scalfani, perpetual victim:

Screen Shot 2019-11-16 at 9.26.53 AM.png

And a wonderful photo of Jack and Tammy taking up the same amount of space as four healthier people:

Screen Shot 2019-11-16 at 9.29.29 AM.png
 
RodDangerous said:
Freudian slip, Jack?

View attachment 1012111

Jack Scalfani, perpetual victim:

View attachment 1012114

And a wonderful photo of Jack and Tammy taking up the same amount of space as four healthier people:

View attachment 1012116
Click to expand...
He added a video comment on this post saying he only made it about halfway, and he's clearly holding back tears. It's also worth mentioning that there's no reference to walking on the race web page, but fat Jack calls it a run/walk.

DANCING LIGHTS 5K FUN RUN

The DANCING LIGHTS 5K FUN RUN is on Friday November 15, 2019.
runsignup.com runsignup.com
 
I'll bet that Jack didn't do a 5k "run" and just waddled around at a slightly faster pace than usual.

Even then, I'm surprised he didn't collapse.
 
Jack revealed why he was placed on the graveyard shift for radio and eventually fired: he wouldn't stick to the format for the shift and would play whatever he felt like playing. This is a HUGE no-no in radio for a few reasons.

First: Jack was given a list of approved songs. If the station I'm at is adult contemporary, the audience wants to hear some goddamn Celine Dion and Bryan Adams, not Notorious B.I.G. or Sex Pistols.
Second: If the FCC is monitoring my station that day and I play a song with bad language in it, i could cost the station tens of thousands of dollars in fines and hundreds of thousands in sponsorship money.
 
someone asked him about fish hook on the live chat and he quickly said "fish hook is doing good" and moved onto the next question. jack truly is bitter towards charles for some reason

also, jack still thinks bangladesh is in the middle east and that they speak arabic there
 
He told the story of the Facebook saga today in his live chat. It starts around 3 minutes in.
www.youtube.com

How my Facebook page got stolen

TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO AFTER WATCHING MY VIDEO 1. SHOP AT MY STORE HTTP://AMAZONJACK.STORE 2. BUY MY SAUCES & SEASONING HTTP://COOKINGWITHJACK.COM Jack's mott...
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com
Someone from a respected Beverly Hills advertising agency contacted him and offered him $150 a day to run one ad on his page, which had about 18k followers at the time. Jack did not think this was a scam.
Jack said he wanted to review the ads before they were run, but gave the guy from the respected advertising agency editor permissions anyway. To his complete surprise, this Middle Eastern man from Bangladesh (he could tell it's Arabic writing) took his page over and locked him out. When Jack contacted the agency, it was revealed to him that the man he was talking to did not work there.
Jack said this is Facebook's fault because it's a big security flaw on their part, and that YouTube is much better about warning you when these things happen.
What a fucking moron.
edit: just saw the video posted above where he explains most of this and how stupid he is
 
Xochi said:
God, you don't realise just how big they are until you see them standing next to normal sized people.

I wonder what Jack and Tammy's combined weight is.
Click to expand...

i'd say close to 700 lbs. tammy is gonna start experiencing weight related health issues pretty soon too. she's absolutely ballooned in the last few years
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom