Lovequest The Apology Letters

[Tehshigelisok]

I guess you could say she has a...
TAINTED
past.
I'm so sorry.

 

[butt in trouble]

I can see how it would be a weird and unpleasant feeling to be banned from a school you graduated from.

Chris biggest accomplishment in life is getting a diploma from PVCC. He spent an inordinate amount of time on that diploma, and there was a certain amount of work involved. On the other hand a lot of shenanigans happened with him at PVCC, and that left a bad taste in his mouth.

I think there is a bit of a love/hate thing in the way Chris thinks about PVCC. It was the scene of one of his greatest accomplishments, but also some of his biggest humiliations/defeats. If he were blessed by MLW, it would turn his defeat into a victory.

I don't think he would return to PVCC, especially not for a class. But he seems to dislike the idea of that avenue being closed to him.

Chris could care less about what he accomplished at College. He regards the entire experience as a failure because he didn't find a girlfriend. Chris has talked about Sonichu far more than he ever did about his degree.

 

[cahoots]

My sources in the field have successfully hacked MLW's postal mail and found her response:

Spoiler: response

Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.

 

[Lunachu]

So he wants future family members to be able to attend PVCC. When he wrote that letter he must have thought Catie would be incubating Crystal any day now.

 

[Zim]

Come on guys. Now that he's become a crossdressing male who's empowered by a female lesbian soul he's far more mature and caring then he was back then. He's a whole new woman and deserves another chance!

 

[timtommy]

Chris could care less about what he accomplished at College. He regards the entire experience as a failure because he didn't find a girlfriend. Chris has talked about Sonichu far more than he ever did about his degree.

He cares. He may care about Sonichu more, but he does mention Computer-aided drafting and design a fair amount. I think he also has a sense that in a lot of other people's eyes that is his biggest accomplishment. When he is trying to impress people (Father Call, Latest OKCupid profile, etc.) he relies heavily on the diploma and dean's list and stuff like that.

Look, PVCC is the only place where adult Chris was thrown in with everyone else and muddled through. To an outside observer it is the only potentially useful thing he has ever done, and I think Chris has a vague sense of that. Maybe years of meeting random people at church or wherever and having them say "Sonichu? Tugboat? Trolls? Meh. Oh you have a college diploma? Good for you." has taught him something.

Some things didn't work out at PVCC for Chris. The lovequest led to a feud with MLW, which led to a suspension and anger management, which led to an ongoing one-sided feud. And I agree that his memories of it are pretty bitter. My theory is that his hope is that MLW will grovel to him, which will exorcise the bitter memories.

 

[IanBrannanSOMETHING]

Maybe these are the only places that sell Eye of Judgement cards,

 

[Super Collie]

Since PVCC has become a major talking point in this thread, I have to wonder. Did Chris make *ANY* meaningful connections with people there? I get that high school was the Last Bestest Most Greatest time of his life, but it confuses me that Chris doesn't pine over seemingly any female classmates from any of his classes at PVCC, even ones that made eye contact with him just once.

 

[Marvin]

Since PVCC has become a major talking point in this thread, I have to wonder. Did Chris make *ANY* meaningful connections with people there? I get that high school was the Last Bestest Most Greatest time of his life, but it confuses me that Chris doesn't pine over seemingly any female classmates from any of his classes at PVCC, even ones that made eye contact with him just once.

Without Bob to hire them, I guess not.

 

[A-№1]

Good lord. We're back to the same thing I bothered to rejoin the forums to say a few years back. He still doesn't realize that even though Christian Weston Chandler might be banned from all these places, Ian Brandon Anderson is not. He could still bathe, shave, get a decent haircut, put on a decent suit, and walk right into any of these places without them so much as blinking an eye.

Man, I hope he didn't actually mail these. All it does is make them remember he's banned, and remind them why.

☝ This. Regardless of whether or not any of the bans were still extant, these apology letters themselves seem enough to make all new bans. They probably come off as extra crazy creepy insane for anyone reading them who isn't familiar with Chris. I'm actually a little surprised he didn't get some more restraining orders in return. I suppose once again Chris proves more trouble than he's worth.

You see no change because you don't want him to change. I see a lot of comments like "I miss the classic Chris."

Got that almost exactly backwards. Perhaps Gazelle_Bro should have been more specific about positive change. Chris is a downward spiral. We recognize that Chris has changed, but we want him to change for the better. At this point a return to classic Chris would be a huge improvement.

Doesn't Mary Lee Walsh have a restraining order out against Chris?

If she did, it may have lapsed. I believe he received a trespassing citation, and Mary Lee may have considered that sufficient to keep him away as it's doubtful he knows her home address etc.

I saw "Dearest Scott" and completely lost my shit.

I'm a little baffled by the "Sir or Madame" immediately after it.

The community college is a different story maybe but even then I'm sure if Chris enrolled (and actually paid for his classes) they wouldn't care. Most community colleges will take anybody. Some even have transition programs specifically for mentally challenged people.

I'm not so sure about that, what with school shootings etc. We know Chris is incapable of much beyond a curse-ye-hamwhatever and shaking legos voodoo, but the PVCC staff might not. I think any college receiving a letter with this much crazy in it would err on the side of caution. Hell, I think I'd take my kids out of any school that doesn't.

I don't want the heh taint of Chris anywhere near my resume, even if I was a victim.

When Chris isn't busy touching his taint he taints everything he touches.

And now I must go seek penance for that awful joke.

 

[normankrasner]

I can see how it would be a weird and unpleasant feeling to be banned from a school you graduated from.


I don't think he would return to PVCC, especially not for a class. But he seems to dislike the idea of that avenue being closed to him.

Chris isn't interested in another degree because he has no intent on getting a career, yet he continues to harass MLW, would University of Phoenix take him?

 

[Gene Parmesan]

Things that should not be.

Trolls craft letter in the name of Mary Lee Walsh or other letter recipient. Letter says "Ok come back". Everything becomes interesting.

This has been things that should not be.

 

[normankrasner]

My guess is that Chris wanted to return to campus simply so he could loiter around with a newly updated attraction sign. PVCC was just another place for him to try (and fail) to pick up chicks.

Of course he doesn't understand that it's really creepy for a graduate to keep sticking around the campus if he or she has absolutely no reason to be there again.

PVCC was just a day care center Borb sent Chris to, he would have been better off at an adult day care center, Chris would have stayed him and played vidya if it was up to him

 

[MY 405]

But when he was banned he was still Chris 1.0 with the short hair and clown shirts. Maybe Chris-Tran is her brilliant disguise to get around the bans in the first place.

Or perhaps, through the magic of a tricked-out Delorean, Chris-Tran could return to those thrilling days of yesteryear and be the one true sweetheart to answer Chris's attraction sign.

 

[ballsbedangling]

Hahahahahahahahahaha
made me lol so hard just when I think there's nothing he could to top himself he just completely blows my mind, but it doesn't surprise me that he hasn't changed one bit. I love it ,it's comedy gold and he's been making me lol so hard for years now, and sometimes I feel bad for him but it's times like this that reminds me how much of a self-centered prude he is

 

[Rogowski]

Chris talking about sexual intercourse in an apology letter to a business.


[AUTISM INTENSIFIES]

 

[Dang Dirty Troll]

You see no change because you don't want him to change. I see a lot of comments like "I miss the classic Chris."

What we mean by "Classic Chris" is the Chris who threw Curseyehamehas at people, wore the medallion everywhere, fought against Clyde Cash, and made Captain's Logs on a regular basis.

Chris has changed, this is true. But he's not changed in any good ways. Unless you count taint piercings and duck concealing strap-ons as positive change.

 

[EnsignDisposable]

Lone Wanderer, I feel your pain. One of my buddies I keep abreast of CWC wishes he could better his life, too.

I will agree with you that CWC deciding to try and apologize is in fact a step in the right direction... just that CWC cannot let go of his pride, which is the only thing greater than his sloth, envy, and greed. He can't apologize because he can't ever be in the wrong. The only way he can change is if he can admit, without qualifiers, that he's made mistakes of his own accord, and that he's hurt someone entirely because of his own fault and that he was in the wrong because of it.

He has never done this. That's a totally staggering idea to me. It's not something I can comprehend. But on record, as best as I can remember, he has never, ever, admitted that he was in the wrong. He can't grow and change until he acknowledges that he's not a perfect being immanentized from GodJesus's V-shaped pouch and delivered by lumberjack and Snorlax. He may never do that, just from the sheer fucked-upedness of his childhood and withdrawal from society. And, stepping outside of schadenfreude, that is downright tragic.

 

[Meeko]

Wow... what makes me sort of shake my head is that these are probably his second or third draft letters that he wrote after getting input from others. These are whackadoodle by normal people's standards, but as far as Chris goes, these are relatively sedate. I'd love to know what he'd originally wanted to put in the letters.

 

[ballsbedangling]

Man, I hope he didn't actually mail these. All it does is make them remember he's banned, and remind them why.

Damnit Chris, you idiot. He actually got banned from Target over those spindly little blue sticks on that stupid cartoon character.

Saddle up, Barb, it's time you went and did the shopping.

I completely agree with you, and I for one believe that Chris does not belong in public because he does not know how to behave. Think about it he always fucks himself over