Lovequest The Apology Letters

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Gazelle_Bro said:
Yes he is admitting to doing something wrong, but didn't do it out of the guilt in his heart. He most likely wrote these in his pursuit of unbanning him from stores.
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Yeah if this were genuine remorse he would have apologized to Michael Snyder, but the Game Place is gone so there's nowhere to be unbanned from.
 
Muncie Anderson said:
With Walmart, it's pretty difficult to enforce a ban. Management is trying to run a busy store, and they may not be made aware that a banned customer or shoplifter until someone who recognizes or remembers him or her calls it to a manager's attention. Usually, they'll have the loss prevention guys trail him/her from a distance, but if they're in the store just to buy something, and not actively vandalizing anything or trying to shoplift, they won't tell him or her to leave. Otherwise, banned customers probably could walk in, get something, pay for it, leave, and no one in management would even know they had come back.

So, even if Chris thought he was being bold and defiant by returning to the Walmart where he was banned for vandalizing the XBox display and the Magic Mike DVDs, he wasn't. He just happened to go in and get what he needed, and no one in management or security remembered him, or cared that he came back. Yes, Chris sticks out like a sore thumb. But really, management had more pressing concerns than telling the fat, unwashed crossdresser to GTFO.
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This situation will last about a month until Chris attacks a Sonic standee with a blue sharpie. Doesn't he have those edited covers ready to go already?

Edit: As pointed out by those smarter than me, a tan sharpie would make a lot more sense. I regret this error.
 
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The Lone Wanderer said:
I would call them baby steps. Sure she hasn't changed much but she appears to be learning little by little.
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Except he hasn't learned. He still thinks he is entitled to whatever he wants and if it means having to cross his fingers behind his back and say "I'm sorry" he will because he thinks it will get him something. This is not speculation, this is past behavior and as much as I want Chris to mature its more likely he is repeating the pattern.

I would say he is learning when he learns an apology is supposed to involve empathy with the other persons side of the story - a basic concept he has not displayed in any of these letters and confirmed by his banning from another site post-writing.
 
I wonder why Chris was so dead set on the mall because of "gal pal time" and not using something like, oh I don't know, Macyntire Park?
 
Optimus Prime said:
I wonder why Chris was so dead set on the mall because of "gal pal time" and not using something like, oh I don't know, Macyntire Park?
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He uses the same excuse (girlfriend) for walmart and the PVCC too. Actually saying that he'd go to classes and campus activities. I'm thinking the classes and activities are all LGBT related that are SUPPOSE to be for students who actually attend the college; but Chris would go anyway. Remember, Chris thought that his future girlfriend would like going to McDonald's at the mall food court for a romantic first date.

I am kinda wondering why he's complaining about the cost of driving to a store to walk around and not buy anything. If he's trying to say he's getting exercise by walking around target/walmart... he could just do that outside and save himself a couple bucks a week. Telling a business that you want to be unbanned from their store just so you can walk around, "exercise", and not buy anything really isn't helping your case.
 
The fashion square one reads like a letter from an insane person. Even if I was unaware of the past reason for his ban, his mention of trolls, needless inclusion of not having intercourse with his girlfriend, and telling the security staff they need to stay as far away from him as possible just screams psychopath. The only saving grace ironically is that it looks like it was written by a 12 year old (with 5 year old hand writing) so maybe they'd dismiss it as the work of a dumb kid and give him a break.

On another note, he should really get Barb in on proofreading his insanity. If she was sane enough to call his lovequest sign a retarded idea, I'm sure she could tell that a letter like that would make him come across just as special.
 
Call me naive, but can't he just walk into the mall? I'm sure enough people go to the mall that nobody would notice/care that fatty snuck in?
Isn't the same true for Walmart?
It's not like they have his picture at the entrance or anything , right?
What's stopping him?

Edit: don't wanna double post and shit
Why the fuck doesn't he type the letters out? He can print out glossy photo paper for his weird selfie sales, so why can't he put two minutes into typing neatly instead of writing it down sloppily?
 
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Chris needs to realize that a security staff is hired to protect the mall from disturbances...they will not simply stay away as far as possible from a known trouble maker on the premises. That is their job...but then again it's Chris we are talking about. If I were the mall manager, one look at this poorly written, elementary school sounding letter would have caused me to laugh and immediately toss it in the trash.
 
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Enormous Red Straw said:
Ten years ago Chris had invented a custom set of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Among these was the "Apology Letter" spell card, an enchanted scroll bearing the secret incantation, "I AM SO SORRY".

Chris must actually believe in the power of "Apology Letter" spell cards. That's what we're looking at, isn't it? These are the same spell cards, only brought into the real world through sheer force of will.
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I suspect that Chris' frequent punishment for misbehaving in school was to write an apology letter to the teacher/students he caused trouble with. It's not a bad idea for young kids, but I imagine these continued for Chris through high school and nobody ever bothered to teach him it doesn't work like this in real life. Couple this with the fact that Chris can't comprehend what he did wrong in the first place and Chris really believes writing down "I'm Sorry" will magically undo all of his wrongs just like in school.
 
derpi said:
Call me naive, but can't he just walk into the mall?
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Alarm bells may not go off the moment he enters, and guards may not carry around photos of him at all times, but they will have a list of people who are banned, probably with photographs. So, he might be able to make it in the door, but he wouldn't last long before he got removed (especially considering he's unlikely to keep a low profile).
 
derpi said:
Call me naive, but can't he just walk into the mall? I'm sure enough people go to the mall that nobody would notice/care that fatty snuck in?
Isn't the same true for Walmart?
It's not like they have his picture at the entrance or anything , right?
What's stopping him?

Edit: don't wanna double post and shit
Why the fuck doesn't he type the letters out? He can print out glossy photo paper for his weird selfie sales, so why can't he put two minutes into typing neatly instead of writing it down sloppily?
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As we know from the whole Asperchu stuff, Chris believes that anything handwritten is automatically better than typed.
 
Dudeofteenage said:
Alarm bells may not go off the moment he enters, and guards may not carry around photos of him at all times, but they will have a list of people who are banned, probably with photographs. So, he might be able to make it in the door, but he wouldn't last long before he got removed (especially considering he's unlikely to keep a low profile).
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They can have him arrested for trespassing without giving him an opportunity to leave since he's already been warned about coming back.
 
I saw "Dearest Scott" and completely lost my shit.

"My Darling Scott

Unban me from your store and tell the security guards that I am now above the rules.

Eternally Yours,
-CWC"
 
Okay, seriously, am I the ONLY one who started laughing when they got to "tainted solicitation for sexual pleasures" in the MLW letter? God, I hope not.
 
Uzumaki said:
I saw "Dearest Scott" and completely lost my shit.

"My Darling Scott

Unban me from your store and tell the security guards that I am now above the rules.

Eternally Yours,
-CWC"
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He may as well have channeled The Young Ones.

Darling Fascist Bully boy,

Gimme access to the Fashion Square Mall unhindered, you bastard

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman.
Christian Ricardo Kaka Apple Chrisp Weston Chandler
 
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