Lovequest The Apology Letters

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Meeko said:
Wow... what makes me sort of shake my head is that these are probably his second or third draft letters that he wrote after getting input from others. These are whackadoodle by normal people's standards, but as far as Chris goes, these are relatively sedate. I'd love to know what he'd originally wanted to put in the letters.
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Chris doesn't do drafts. His first attempt is nearly always his final attempt.
 
Those who claim Chris doesn't need a handler need to look at how many places he's been banned from on a consistent basis. Normal people who do normal everyday things when out and about don't get banned from every department store in town. For this to have happened so many times just proves that Chris doesn't have the capability to make adult decisions.

He says things like 'on an impulse' and 'my impulse conned me' as if he has no control. As an excuse or explanation for why certain negative things happened. If he can't control himself then he should not be left to his own devices. He would benefit so much from having someone (meaning a paid carer) direct his everyday life and check in on him all the time.
 
I like how he uses "I really is Miserable" to the person from the school.
 
Chandler Cats said:
Okay, seriously, am I the ONLY one who started laughing when they got to "tainted solicitation for sexual pleasures" in the MLW letter? God, I hope not.
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Nope. I choked laughing.
Uzumaki said:
I saw "Dearest Scott" and completely lost my shit.
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Choke-laughed twice.
mauggg said:
Wouldn't this be Scott Palazzo? Who banned all virgins from his region?
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See, that's what I was thinking, too. I'm surprised Chris didn't apologize for making him a villain in his comic. Knowing Chris, though, he probably forgot about that.

Also, dearest Manjerk "Mary Lee Walsh-ing Witch Bitch" that should be "FIRED FROM LIFE"

Since I think everything's been said about those letters. . .those texts to Renee, tho.

"I still want you to have [this medallion] as a token of our friendship & potential benefits (but Mostly on our friendship)."

Goddammit, Chris.
 
alterid said:
Those who claim Chris doesn't need a handler need to look at how many places he's been banned from on a consistent basis. Normal people who do normal everyday things when out and about don't get banned from every department store in town. For this to have happened so many times just proves that Chris doesn't have the capability to make adult decisions.

He says things like 'on an impulse' and 'my impulse conned me' as if he has no control. As an excuse or explanation for why certain negative things happened. If he can't control himself then he should not be left to his own devices. He would benefit so much from having someone (meaning a paid carer) direct his everyday life and check in on him all the time.
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Chris Doublethink.
He's allowed to do whatever he wants and get away with it, since he's autistic and people have to understand and respect that, but on the other hand he doesn't need any supervision by anyone since he's not a slow-in-the-mind.

I guess he could learn to not be an asshole that vandalizes store property or starts arguments over silly shit with jerkops, but why should he? He's never really had to deal with appropriate consequences to his stupidity since everyone goes easy on him. Not saying that's bad or wrong, but it certainly doesn't help Chris in the long run. The one time he actually had to deal with some consequences, he got away with a slap on the wrist cause his mortal enemy didn't want to escalate the whole issue in court. And we all know how grateful Chris is for that.:heart-empty:

Concerning the letters: JESUS.
I wouldn't be surprised if Chris was trying to get unbanned so he could correct the wrong that was done to him. If I'm not mistaken, Marvin said Chris was trespassing (it's not like Walmart or whatever really gives a shit), so I doubt this is really about being able to go back to these shops. It's also about the novelty of not being banned and thus having the locations confirm indirectly that Chris wasn't misbehaving that badly in the first place. The letters seem to support that, what with him pretty much accusing MLW of not trying to use empathy and try to understand Chris.

And for some reason I now imagine Chris copying the disguise from Ninja Turtles where he tries to blend in with the crowd unsuspiciously by wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora while sneaking into Walmart...
 
The MLW letter is par for the course with his typical "sorry but it wouldn't have happened if not for xyz, so therefore I'm not responsible for any bad decisions". I love how he truly believes that portraying her as a Viking-helmeted witch would make her lose sleep at night and that she is privy to his shenanigans. With that said I do believe she remembers Chris as his hand-drawn "apology" was swiftly responded with a trespassing notice. It probably wouldn't have been nearly as bad dealing with him if it wasn't for his parents basically defending his ill behavior and telling him he is the victim. I don't think many people would forget about a character such as Chris.
 
Wouldn't be surprised if it had become kind of a running gag amongst the students of PVCC to spread around some of the Chris artwork about MLW. There's no way some student didn't stumble across MLW's cwckipage seeing how it's the first thing to pop up on google, so generations of students might have kept the memory of Chris alive.

Also I guess having to chew out a student for a sign that advertises soliciting who then throws a Curse-ye-hame-ha at you is something you will always carry around with you. I'm just wondering what her reaction was. It would certainly freak me the fuck out.
 
Thetan said:
You're right, he learned absolutely nothing. Just about 3 months after writing these letters, he was banned from Target.
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Back during the discussion about Chris's possible shoplifting from Best Buy, a few people evoked the image of Chris standing in the middle of the aisle, looking left and right in a cartoonishly exaggerated manner before stuffing the item under his jacket. Given that Chris believes someone--least of all HIM--can disguise their identity by wearing sunglasses, makes me believe that this is precisely how Chris would shoplift.

I guess no one can recognize Chris if they can't see his heterochromia. :)

Funniest thing is that he probably mulled over this plan for a while, then when he arrived at the Wal-Mart, he sat in the parking lot nervously turning the sunglasses around in his hands for a few minutes. While he's inside the store, his heart beats like a (steel-plated) drum in his chest (moreso than usual due to his fatally high cholesterol), as he imagines menacing jerkops scouring the aisles, ready to pounce on "that damn Christian Weston Chandler" as soon as they notice him. When in reality, everyone had forgotten about him by that point, and if anything he was only drawing more attention to himself by being "that shady-looking guy in sunglasses who keeps looking nervously over his shoulder."
 
The Nameless One said:
Back during the discussion about Chris's possible shoplifting from Best Buy, a few people evoked the image of Chris standing in the middle of the aisle, looking left and right in a cartoonishly exaggerated manner before stuffing the item under his jacket. Given that Chris believes someone--least of all HIM--can disguise their identity by wearing sunglasses, makes me believe that this is precisely how Chris would shoplift.

I guess no one can recognize Chris if they can't see his heterochromia. :)

Funniest thing is that he probably mulled over this plan for a while, then when he arrived at the Wal-Mart, he sat in the parking lot nervously turning the sunglasses around in his hands for a few minutes. While he's inside the store, his heart beats like a (steel-plated) drum in his chest (moreso than usual due to his fatally high cholesterol), as he imagines menacing jerkops scouring the aisles, ready to pounce on "that damn Christian Weston Chandler" as soon as they notice him. When in reality, everyone had forgotten about him by that point, and if anything he was only drawing more attention to himself by being "that shady-looking guy in sunglasses who keeps looking nervously over his shoulder."
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I could imagine Chris thinking that if he walked into the banned store wearing a trenchcoat & fedora that he'd be invisible to Jerkops.

That or wearing a fake mustache he got out of the gumball machine.

Jerkop 1: Hey, isn't that Chris chan?

Jerkop 2: Nope. Chris Chan doesn't have a mustache.
 
I Want Cake said:
I could imagine Chris thinking that if he walked into the banned store wearing a trenchcoat & fedora that he'd be invisible to Jerkops.

That or wearing a fake mustache he got out of the gumball machine.

Jerkop 1: Hey, isn't that Chris chan?

Jerkop 2: Nope. Chris Chan doesn't have a mustache.
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this is why he is tomgirl now. as a disguise
 
alterid said:
Those who claim Chris doesn't need a handler need to look at how many places he's been banned from on a consistent basis. Normal people who do normal everyday things when out and about don't get banned from every department store in town. For this to have happened so many times just proves that Chris doesn't have the capability to make adult decisions.

He says things like 'on an impulse' and 'my impulse conned me' as if he has no control. As an excuse or explanation for why certain negative things happened. If he can't control himself then he should not be left to his own devices. He would benefit so much from having someone (meaning a paid carer) direct his everyday life and check in on him all the time.
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I can't even begin to imagine life as a Chandler Handler.

"No, don't. Don't put that up your butt. We've gone over this, Christian."
 
chimcat said:
I can't even begin to imagine life as a Chandler Handler."No, don't. Don't put that up your butt. We've gone over this, Christian."
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"Now Chris, I told you that telling women you're entitled to china isn't the right way to talk to women."

"Chris, stop trying to cut off your duck. I don't care if you consider it an ugly growth."

"Chris, those lesbians who turned down your scissoring offer weren't trolls paid by Snyder."
 
Dang Dirty Troll said:
"Now Chris, I told you that telling women you're entitled to china isn't the right way to talk to women."

"Chris, stop trying to cut off your duck. I don't care if you consider it an ugly growth."

"Chris, those lesbians who turned down your scissoring offer weren't trolls paid by Snyder."
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Any Chris handler will fail without the use of a shock collar and remote. Just that simple.
 
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