🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Also, while I'm on the language-use thing (forgive me, I'm going to have 50 student portfolios to grade next week and I'm going preemptively crazy): has anyone else noticed his overuse of the word "gibber"? He even uses "gibber/ing" for SQL error messages. Insert Inigo Montoya reference here. I am so sad that Sweets is so poor he can't afford a dictionary! If he weren't, you know, a completely loathsome person, I'd be about half tempted to send him one of my spare ones. But there's that "completely loathsome person" problem.
 
None of them ran. I did a couple of news stories that were published--in fact, my first news story came out on my birthday, eight years ago. The same day Tupac Shakur got shot, in fact. The two greatest birthday presents I ever got.
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What the hell did Tupac ever do to him?
 
John Titor said:
What the hell did Tupac ever do to him?
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I really don't think it goes deeper than Tupac was:

- black
- more successful than Iconoclaust
- made music Iconoclaust didn't enjoy

Because people should be murdered when they inconvenience you or express themselves artistically in ways you don't approve of. So says Jesus.
 
John Titor said:
What the hell did Tupac ever do to him?
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Sweetie wants to feel superior to others because he's the shit and we're all shit in his book, a la Jay Geis.

The people who've said previously that he was similar to Chris are at least partially right, too, because a big part of why he's such a space case is that he is simultaneously not the stupidest guy on the planet (as in, he can think and reason sometimes) coupled with a strong desire to believe things that give him the ol' fuzzie-wuzzies, just like Chris. As a result, he'd rather say "fuck Tupac" because, just as Ronichu said, Tupac was successful as hell and well-loved by lots of people, a position that Sweetness feels he should be in, and also black, which is of course all wrong because Johnny ain't no negro, nothing like the people who used to laugh at him in high school.

Oh, and he probably feels personal animosity towards African-Americans in particular because according to him a group of them viciously assaulted his mother in their driveway and he called the cops and hid like the coward he is, rather than at least try to assist, or even yell from the doorway or something fuck, so every time he sees a black person he'll probably feel that same fear.

Threats from Cows are always hilarious but his are just the funniest to me, because I honest to god don't think he could fight his way out of a wet paper bag. He's just so impotent, man.
 
Ronichu said:
I really don't think it goes deeper than Tupac was:

- black
- more successful than Iconoclaust
- made music Iconoclaust didn't enjoy

Because people should be murdered when they inconvenience you or express themselves artistically in ways you don't approve of. So says Jesus.
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TheIceCreamMan said:
Sweetie wants to feel superior to others because he's the shit and we're all shit in his book, a la Jay Geis.

The people who've said previously that he was similar to Chris are at least partially right, too, because a big part of why he's such a space case is that he is simultaneously not the stupidest guy on the planet (as in, he can think and reason sometimes) coupled with a strong desire to believe things that give him the ol' fuzzie-wuzzies, just like Chris. As a result, he'd rather say "fuck Tupac" because, just as Ronichu said, Tupac was successful as hell and well-loved by lots of people, a position that Sweetness feels he should be in, and also black, which is of course all wrong because Johnny ain't no negro, nothing like the people who used to laugh at him in high school.

Oh, and he probably feels personal animosity towards African-Americans in particular because according to him a group of them viciously assaulted his mother in their driveway and he called the cops and hid like the coward he is, rather than at least try to assist, or even yell from the doorway or something fuck, so every time he sees a black person he'll probably feel that same fear.

Threats from Cows are always hilarious but his are just the funniest to me, because I honest to god don't think he could fight his way out of a wet paper bag. He's just so impotent, man.
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Also, Tupac was handsome, hard-working, intelligent and in very good shape, and didn't look like a homeless scuzzball.
 
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A couple of observations from reading Sweets' archive. (Are we archiving his archive, btw, in case he decides to do some spring-cleaning/his 90s website dies?)

He wrote about Miley Cyrus's Vanity Fair photoshoot - he mentions her being 15 (which she was at the time of writing), then refers to her as a "barely-legal chanteuse". Is 15 "barely-legal" where Sweet Bro lives? In any case, applying a porn term to a 15 year old is...unfortunate.

Secondly, scary younger brother Tim is a full 10 years younger than Johnathan.
 
Absinthe said:
A couple of observations from reading Sweets' archive. (Are we archiving his archive, btw, in case he decides to do some spring-cleaning/his 90s website dies?)

He wrote about Miley Cyrus's Vanity Fair photoshoot - he mentions her being 15 (which she was at the time of writing), then refers to her as a "barely-legal chanteuse". Is 15 "barely-legal" where Sweet Bro lives? In any case, applying a porn term to a 15 year old is...unfortunate.

Secondly, scary younger brother Tim is a full 10 years younger than Johnathan.
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Okay, I missed the Miley Cyrus thing. Good lord.

As far as the thing about his brother goes - Look, y'know, familial abuse isn't humorous, and if Sweet is to be believed, he's suffered from some genuinely injurious violence.

The thing about it is, though, that it's freekin' hilarious! I mean ... geesh! 10 years! Seriously? This chinless pervo comes to our forum, looking like a Berekely Breathed* character, talking to us about how he would beat and strangle one of the posters, when he can't even handle his little brother? I mean, really - combine that with the assertion that he was intimidated by a preadolescent child, and his indignant defense of his choice to abandon his mother to a beating by four guys. Dude's a brazen coward, and likely a weakling.

*
FUQ--Photo of Author.jpg
 
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Honestly the more I think about the thing with his Mum, the more fucked up it gets.

If I, as a fit young man in the prime of my life as he was at the time, had watched my mother get assaulted my four dudes that would be pretty traumatic to me.

The fact that I had done nothing but cower and watch would be a source of such great shame it would probably eat me up, even if I was, say, physically disabled, or just a kid. Even with a good excuse.

I don't think I could live with it.

And yet... All Iconoclaust seems to talk about is how one girl dumped him over 15 years ago, and how he got kicked out of a student rag for plagiarism (that he confessed to). If this thing with the four black kids even happened, how is it not a bigger deal to him?

The answer is: nothing bad happened to him, but ultimately, his craven cowardice saved him from physical harm.

All Iconoclaust seems to get out of the incident is "some guys hurt my Mum, and she has utility to me which means if she is harmed that is bad for me. Also, I almost got hurt too... Or I might have, but I shit my pants and did nothing, so all good on that front."

He speaks about it like the kids stole his bike; just an object, something that was useful to him and liked, in the same way someone likes their favourite chair or a nice car.

Fuck, man. Jesus. What a selfish, narcissistic hunk of shit.
 
The only way in which he ever uses the "four African American men hurt my mother" story is to justify his racism.
I'm not sure that it ever happened, he just wants a "good" excuse to hate on other races, and figures that story will do.
 
Ronichu said:
Honestly the more I think about the thing with his Mum, the more fucked up it gets.

If I, as a fit young man in the prime of my life as he was at the time, had watched my mother get assaulted my four dudes that would be pretty traumatic to me.

The fact that I had done nothing but cower and watch would be a source of such great shame it would probably eat me up, even if I was, say, physically disabled, or just a kid. Even with a good excuse.

I don't think I could live with it.

And yet... All Iconoclaust seems to talk about is how one girl dumped him over 15 years ago, and how he got kicked out of a student rag for plagiarism (that he confessed to). If this thing with the four black kids even happened, how is it not a bigger deal to him?

The answer is: nothing bad happened to him, but ultimately, his craven cowardice saved him from physical harm.

All Iconoclaust seems to get out of the incident is "some guys hurt my Mum, and she has utility to me which means if she is harmed that is bad for me. Also, I almost got hurt too... Or I might have, but I shit my pants and did nothing, so all good on that front."

He speaks about it like the kids stole his bike; just an object, something that was useful to him and liked, in the same way someone likes their favourite chair or a nice car.

Fuck, man. Jesus. What a selfish, narcissistic hunk of shit.
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His own mother is nothing more than a useful asset to him. Let that sink in for a bit.
 
So it seems that the great obsessive love of his life was someone he had phone sex with, gave multiple fake names, and left abruptly the one time they met IRL.

This basically sounds like a troll, combining the Bluespike and Emily methods.

ASHLAAAAAAY!
 
My apologies if this has already been brought up, but did Iconoclast even really date with his ex? Or was it just an over the phone thing? Also, the way he pines after the ex makes it seem like that was the only romantic relationship he ever had, even if it wasn't.

edit: Absinthe beat me to it.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
Did Iconoclast even really date 15 years ago? Or was it just an over the phone thing? Also, the way he pines after the ex makes it seem like that was the only romantic relationship he ever had, even if it wasn't.
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Just a phone thing.

What makes it even sadder, if we are to believe the Iconoclast, he had a real life woman (named Susan) who he started dating after the end of the six month Ashleigh "relationship". Asheleigh started calling him again two months later, and he was "balancing two girlfriends" until he let Susan go. Basically he dropped Susan, a real life girl, to be further trolled by Ashleigh.
 
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atomik fyre said:
Basically he dropped Susan, a real life girl, to be further trolled by Ashleigh.
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That would cast what he posted way back near the beginning of the thread in a new light:

The_Iconoclast said:
Since they're [college relationships] mostly conducted by phone, you get to stay in, you don't have to take the girl out and spend money on her, or even speak to them if you don't want to.
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ToroidalBoat said:
That would cast what he posted way back near the beginning of the thread in a new light:
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And even then he's skewing what it means to be long distance. Even though Ashleigh seemed to be in pretty close proximity, the fact that their relationship played out mostly by phone puts it closer to a LDR, in my opinion.

The fact that he equates limited communication with having options means he probably isn't emotionally mature enough for a relationship. Especially if he cast off Susan to go back to whatever he and Ashleigh were.
 
Ronichu said:
Honestly the more I think about the thing with his Mum, the more fucked up it gets.

If I, as a fit young man in the prime of my life as he was at the time, had watched my mother get assaulted my four dudes that would be pretty traumatic to me.

The fact that I had done nothing but cower and watch would be a source of such great shame it would probably eat me up, even if I was, say, physically disabled, or just a kid. Even with a good excuse.

I don't think I could live with it.
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You know, I thought it over, and there's just no way to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

Somebody may have already mentioned this, but check it out: Okay, so, the guy sees four dudes attacking his mother. Now, let's say he suffers from a serious mental or emotional problem, one that leaves him absolutely paralyzed with fear when confronted by black men in large, violent groups, kind of like how a person with coulrophobia freezes up and panics when confronted by a clown. Okay, so, this nightmare unfolds in front of him, he finds he cannot move, and mom gets beat. Alright, well, while I'm sure a lot of people would find his behavior pretty iffy, he'd still be able to maintain some minor defense for his lack of action.

However, that's not what we get. What we get is Ico whining about how his "senior year was a misery of ignorant kids constantly asking why [he] didn't do anything" to save his mom from "that gang of blacks."

His mom gets beaten and injured, but it's Johnathon who suffers the most, taking credit for his mother's pain.

Why does that sound familiar?

"I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be, because I have been taking the abuse from those jerks on E.D."

Oh. Oh yeah.
 
The "I will have her, or I will destroy her" thing is so impotent. He certainly will not have her, and though he threatens on the Topix boards that he will contact her husband and tell him all, it's not like any rational person would flip out and dump his wife upon hearing the shocking news that, as a teen, she had had phone sex with a random college student. Kids do weird shit all the time.

And his lazy ass can't even manage to make a phone call or send a letter or email to the easily findable husband anyway?
 
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