🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Meowthkip]

You know, I thought it over, and there's just no way to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

Somebody may have already mentioned this, but check it out: Okay, so, the guy sees four dudes attacking his mother. Now, let's say he suffers from a serious mental or emotional problem, one that leaves him absolutely paralyzed with fear when confronted by black men in large, violent groups, kind of like how a person with coulrophobia freezes up and panics when confronted by a clown. Okay, so, this nightmare unfolds in front of him, he finds he cannot move, and mom gets beat. Alright, well, while I'm sure a lot of people would find his behavior pretty iffy, he'd still be able to maintain some minor defense for his lack of action.

However, that's not what we get. What we get is Ico whining about how his "senior year was a misery of ignorant kids constantly asking why [he] didn't do anything" to save his mom from "that gang of blacks."

His mom gets beaten and injured, but it's Johnathon who suffers the most, taking credit for his mother's pain.

Why does that sound familiar?

"I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be, because I have been taking the abuse from those jerks on E.D."

Oh. Oh yeah.

Here's hoping karma bites him in the ass big time.

 

[Le Bateleur]

This thread on the patriot forums is amusing. Basically, his fellow ultraAmericans have come to very similar conclusions about Sweet Bro.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

With all this racist shit coming from the other forum I am astounded that we really didn't cover race with him here. Shame he sure seems enlightened.

 

[Shadow Fox]

We should hook him up with Tyce so he can be part of RACE WAR RACE WAR 2-0-1-4

 

[Le Bateleur]

This thread over at the Patriot Forum (which is distinctly full of bronies) is a Q&A with Sweet Bro that dates back to 2006. There may very well be gold.

http://usaspatriot.proboards.com/thread/530/interview-author

Don't let the title - Interview an Author - fool you. It's about Iconoclast.

 

[autism420]

This thread over at the Patriot Forum (which is distinctly full of bronies) is a Q&A with Sweet Bro that dates back to 2006. There may very well be gold.

http://usaspatriot.proboards.com/thread/530/interview-author

Don't let the title - Interview an Author - fool you. It's about Iconoclast.

Everyone uses smiley faces there and it makes me very uncomfortable for some reason.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Everyone uses smiley faces there and it makes me very uncomfortable for some reason.

That site made a barrage of cookie requests when I accessed it.

Speaking of racism, I remember how when Iconoclast was called out as acting racist because a store in a comic by him had "[J-word] Junction" in it's name, he only countered with:

No, just grew up in a really lousy neighborhood.

And speaking of comics, I actually first encountered work by Iconoclast before this thread really took off and before I really knew about him. It was in a really old post he made on these forums where he linked to a comic he made. He described the comic on the forums as being about "a middle-aged loser in life's lottery builds a time machine to relive his glory days in college."

I thought to myself, "sounds like an interesting story." But when I tried to read the comic, the layout and the art on the page I read was so jumbled and visually confusing to me that I admit I gave up. I didn't think much about it afterwards though. Then this thread and Iconoclast's desire to go back to "half past 1997" was brought up...

 

[atomik fyre]

I used to like M.C. Hammer before he went too commercial

The first time I've ever laughed out loud at something the Iconoclast said. Though, I'm not sure if he was joking or not.

I had to think long and hard about this one, because as you may know I am hardly anyone's idea of a success story. Success for me has usually been a balancing act of small wins followed by crippling losses. When I was a newspaperman I had a few small successes and a loyal little fanbase. I started thinking I was truly indispensible. I went about roaring my own praises. I would privately throw tantrums if I felt I wasn't getting enough ink on the op-ed page. I wanted my name in every issue--a column a week, followed by a page of reader mail the following day, all about me. I was very arrogant and difficult to get along with. I was an absolute attention junkie. Then one day I get called into the editor's office and got a serious dose of reality. I found when you finally crash, you crash hard, and you crash alone, because in your grab for the brass ring you've burned every bridge and alienated all your friends. But that wasn't enough to teach me. It took me another disasterous career move and a bad relationship or three before I finally woke up and said, "Holy <bleep>, I gotta stop this behavior before I really end up with nothing."

Holy hell, looks like he almost had his head on straight back in 2006, what the hell happened? How did he slide so far down into the Iconoclast we know today?

 

[Bound2]

He does a similar thing in one of his blogs. He swears off ever going back to college and realizes he has to live in the "now" ... only to completely backslide. He's utterly adverse to the idea that just maybe, some of his problems were of his own doing.

When he's not sperging out about children's cartoons, the Recent Events thread of the Patriots forum seems to have some gold.

My blog on rules for college relationships was done as a sort of satire... but that is how things were done in school when I was there, or at least how I saw things. Have things changed that much since my day? Or was I just misinterpreting events? The girl I was seeing was upper-class and wanted to avoid a scandal. I'd been with a rich girl before who wouldn't tell her friends or her parents about us, and we'd always secretly meet up to fool around, so I never thought that much about it--to me, it was just how things worked. This second relationship was conducted primarily by phone. Now I thought that was strange, but then I remembered what my old mentor at the school paper told me once: "You need to learn to look outside your narrow little definition of normal"... so I never asked any questions (not that I'd know who to ask if I'd had them). A few months into our relationship I told her about my father dying of a heart attack (admittedly, trying to cash in on a little sympathy sex--not like she hadn't been promising me tail for weeks, right?...saw my opportunity, took it), and she freaked out and dropped out of my life. A month later she came back, but it was never was quite the same, and when we finally met up she made an excuse and broke things off completely. They way those clowns paint it, she never loved me to begin with and it was all a schoolgirl prank, but I'll never really know unless I talk to her...which, thanks to an Internet background check, I can. Of course, with the resources of a newspaperman behind me, I could have had that information years ago-- plus a pretense for showing up to her house unannounced. Journalists are above the law.

CONSPIRACY!

...you said he was a punk who frightened you, primarily due to racial profiling.

That was after he showed up repeatedly, unwanted, refused to follow the rules, and then tried to rob the place (even if it was accidental). The stolen mower incident only confirmed my suspicions he was a bad egg. Call it "racial profiling" if you must, but I had grown up in that neighborhood and knew the score-- my partner hadn't. He was witless and trusting as a child.

Dear god, man, have you no moral compass?

It was severely damaged years ago, along with my ability to differentiate between what's "cute" and what's "creepy". That's what college life does to a person.

Yes, college makes it totally normal to jack off to ponies and children's cartoons.

And we're back to Michael Brown, ok....

It is the Recent Events thread, not the "Life Stories" thread, after all. I just wanted to lend my perspective as one who grew up in the South, and seen dozens of kids not unlike Michael Brown, in school or on the street... good kids of both color who embrace the hip-hop and "whigger" culture and turn into sullen sociopaths, walking around with their pants half off their cracks, throwing away promising futures and ending up rotting in jail before they're thirty--except Brown never even made it that far.

I did not characterize all women as "sluts", merely a fairly small number residing in the Jonesboro-Trumann area. How else would you characterize a group of upper-class young women from good families who phone random men in the dorms and, after six months to a year of "courtship", agree to meet them in their room for sex? Unpaid prostitutes? One step above a high-priced callgirl? Now maybe I was just being trolled by some disturbed little girl with serious daddy issues, as they say, but here's the thing: I have never heard one bad word against her from their side. To me that says her behavior was perfectly normal, even acceptable. I've even wondered if maybe someone with a grudge against me set me up all those years ago. It'd be pretty easy to do that to someone-- give some barely-legal Betty the phone number of that guy you hate at work and tell her to show him a good time, then shut him down. She did seem a bit too perfect, after all.

CONSPIRACYYYYYYY!

No less than my idol Rush Limbaugh said of Rodney King in 1992, "They didn't beat that idiot hard enough." Michael Brown was a fool who never got a chance to become wise. Listening to the fool who raised him, I can see where he might have picked up some of his horrible attitudes from. I have no doubt that if he had lived, Brown's stepfather would be parading him around in a wheelchair, bellowing threats and demands of retribution ...which would be given, and then he'd want more, and more, and more. It would never stop. He'd be dragged around everywhere on the talk show circuit, star in a low-budget porno or appear as a contestant on DANCING WITH THE STARS, probably a stint or two in rehab. Twenty years later Brown would be famous only as "that guy that crazy honkey cop beat crippled". He'd be, nearly forgotten... a total joke and a drain on already-strained-to-breaking social programs. That is what I mean by saying sometimes, death is better.

 

[Shadow Fox]

This thread over at the Patriot Forum (which is distinctly full of bronies) is a Q&A with Sweet Bro that dates back to 2006. There may very well be gold.

http://usaspatriot.proboards.com/thread/530/interview-author

Don't let the title - Interview an Author - fool you. It's about Iconoclast.

I've been wading through this for the past couple hours and I'm only on page 12. Lordy.

He keeps mentioning Kim Possible in this thread. Is this USA Patriot board is an offshoot of some Kim Possible board or something? Is there really such a broad subculture of politically conservative Kim Possible fans that they need their own messageboard?

I tend to keep journalist's hours, which is what I'm used to as an old newspaperman and isn't always 9 to 5.

He acts like he was on the staff of the freaking New York Times for decades when in reality he wrote articles for a student rag for maybe a year.

@The_Iconoclast's 2007 New Year's resolutions:

I vow to be a more patient person, and I will try to stop holding old grudges.

lololololololol

There are a some old coworkers of mine who abused my trust in the past, and I really want to make peace with them. I don't even think they know why they hate me so much anymore--it's something they were told to do by their superior, which they did, and did well, for longer than I care to remember. I think that's actually part of why there's such bitterness: they won't (or feel they can't) sit down with me and settle things, so years of resentment and hatred has festered in silence. If we could just talk, we might come to a mutual agreement. If not friends, exactly, then we can be not such bitter enemies.

He was so close to self-awareness, and then he went and shit the bed.

I have three rules about the left: (1) if they want it, it's bad, (2) if they belive it, it's a lie and (3) they are not human beings.

wow

 

[Bound2]

So I'm reading the latest posts at the CWCiki forums, and it's obvious these people are severely out of touch with reality. Sure, I'm to believe if someone they loved were being attacked, they'd go all Batman on them, and shame on me for not doing the same for my mother 22 years ago. "Duhh! Hims is hate himses mommy! Himses mommy is hates hims! I's hates hims and himses mommy! Hate! Hate! Blah blah blah durr hatehatehatehate!!" Assuming, for example, a skinny 16-year-old kid could successfully take down a gang of four large, angry African-Americans, outside of a delightful comic-book fantasy...do they realize that there's a very fine line between self-defense and full-blown assault? If I'd knocked out one of them on my property, maybe I could make a case in my favor...maybe. But if I'd had to chase one of those boys forty or fifty yards before I'd struck him, then I'd be looking at a criminal charge and likely six months to a year in jail (possibly waived, in light of circumstances, as I was a juvenile). My punishment would be worse if it were deemed excessive force was used, or the defendant was in a position of surrender at the time I accosted him, and of course race would be a factor. Would that have really helped my family, my mom in the hospital and me locked up? Is that what they think? These are stupid, dangerous people, and I sincerely hope they aren't in positions of any power wherever they may work.

Also, you have to love this line: "Hey, those other monkeys have more bananas than me, maybe I should do what they do". You mean sit around and scream and gibber and hate everything? Well, at least this guy has admitted they're a bunch of stupid apes over there. That's a start.

They didn't tell you to go "beat some black kid to a pulp"..

Uh...yeah, they pretty much did, actually. All that blah-blah about "spears have spared his limbs" suggests to me a violent physical confrontation. Two weeks previous I had been assaulted by a group of blacks at a bus stop. One of them claimed my dog had chased him down the street...so they knocked me down, kicked me around a bit, and left. Thankfully I was just slightly shaken by the ordeal. Across the street, a whole schoolyard of students watched, and no one even did so much as summon a teacher to assist me while I was lying there, curled up defensively in a ball, scared for my life...I was furious at them because they just stood there and looked on like a pack of slack -jawed imbeciles. Those selfsame blacks who gleefully kicked me around could have been involved in my mom's attack, for all I know. At least I had the presence of mind to phone 911, which proper protocol dictates.

... they said that you had a choice on whether or not to do something about it, and you didn't.

Again, I chose to call 911, which is the right thing to do in such a situation. Not run out there and play Batman, possibly risking injury, legal troubles, and almost certain backlash from my high-school peers for assaulting a colore black kid.

I like how even his fellow Patriots are pointing out how full of shit Iconoclast is.

Oh, yeah, it was pretty wild, it was great. I've mentioned before seeing the same three weird guys show up every night 'round about ten-thirty, eleven, when cable TV brings out the soft-core stuff. They appeared to be rooted to that couch in the back. Maybe it's a cultural thing, no shame--I don't know. Yeah, so one time some guys brought a movie...and a couple of fellows brought their girlfriends to watch. Now watching porn with a girl can get weird, because, first, you don't want to get too pervy when there's women in the room--no drooling, no yelling out ""ohmigawd, look'it that" or "what's she doing" or "holy (insert profanity of choice)" during the really good parts, and of course keep your hands in plain sight at all times. Second, I remember during one movie, some chick kept up a running commentary all throughout. During the big love scene she was all, "That's not real" or "Oh, wow, I hate when that happens when you're right in the middle of doing that" or "Oh, last time I did a move like that, I got a really bad cramp in my leg"...and the guy's she with has to be all, "Uh, baby, when did you ever do that?"

I have no words.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

If only impotent rage was an energy source. @The_Iconoclast here has an unlimited supply.

 

[Ca Ira]

He acts like he was on the staff of the freaking New York Times for decades when in reality he wrote articles for a student rag for maybe a year.

His relationship with the field of journalism is interesting; he uses it to vilify the people he believes are ruining his life (those journalists who hate him and are "above the law") but he also seems to invoke it in order to cover up his failures (ie, "I would be a huge success as a journalist if circumstances hadn't conspired to deprive me of my career").

I enjoy a lot of his antiquated language: "newspaperman," "copy boy," etc. I'm not sure if it's part of his contrived folksy dialect or if he just thinks of them as normal terms.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

I am sure "Ashleigh Bainks"'s parents are lovely people who keep a nice home, but you can look at their house on Google Street View, and I promise that the first words that come to your mind will not be "upper class" and "rich".

Now, maybe to Mr. Sweet, everyone who isn't living the "roaches in the casserole" lifestyle is indistinguishable from a Rockefeller, but Jesus Christ.

Because I realize not everyone is going to go all Nancy Drew on this, let me say that the "Bainks" residence is, according to Zillow, 888 square feet and valued at $49,000. The largest house currently for sale in the same municipality is 2,700 square feet and valued at $325,000.

 

[Shadow Fox]

His relationship with the field of journalism is interesting; he uses it to vilify the people he believes are ruining his life (those journalists who hate him and are "above the law") but he also seems to invoke it in order to cover up his failures (ie, "I would be a huge success as a journalist if circumstances hadn't conspired to deprive me of my career").

Excellent point. His debates are full of this kind of double-speak where he sings the praises of something one minute and the next, decries it as a key player in his current life troubles (i.e., "My life would be perfect if I was only allowed to go back to college!"/"Those damn dirty liberals on campus filled my head with lies and ruined my life forever!").

I enjoy a lot of his antiquated language: "newspaperman," "copy boy," etc. I'm not sure if it's part of his contrived folksy dialect or if he just thinks of them as normal terms.

Well, remember that CHANGE IS BAD!!! so he should gosh-darn be allowed to call things by whatever outdated terminology he wants. Plus he probably heard those terms on the radio or TV or something back at half-past 1997, so it's their fault he doesn't know the right words!

they just stood there and looked on like a pack of slack -jawed imbeciles.

Kind of like you did when Mommy was getting a beatdown, Chuckles?

"But what if this or this or this had happened? I might've gotten hurt or mildly inconvenienced!" It's almost impressive the mental gymnastics he's capable of performing to constantly convince himself that his actions are beyond reproach and he's never, ever in the wrong.

 

[Le Bateleur]

The unsurprising result of a man who wants to live in half-past 1997 buying a new laptop:

 

[Shadow Fox]

I hope he's aware he can probably still take that thing in for a refund/exchange, assuming he didn't fuck something up with the "paperclip trick."

(I do like how Hoomajocky's automatic reaction to Our Pet Luddite buying a laptop is to ask how old it is.)

Not sure if he's being sincere with that anecdote about the Batman episode or if he thinks he's cleverly mocking people who might feel that way.

 

[autism420]

Months of saving to buy a "state-of-the-art" $300 laptop that he lacks the skill to even turn on.

 

[Adamska]

A $300.00 laptop he probably bought from Walmart is state of the art? Well, I guess it would be space age technology to a man who supports the finicky and easily disrupted analog TV signals over DTV, why the old incandescent light bulb is somehow better than the far more efficient and cost effective LED bulbs, and pretty much used an old vacuum tube system using a cripplingly old OS as a computer until this year.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Someone more technically incompetent than @Joe_Cracker and isn't my drunk burn out neighbor or grandmother? Impossible.