Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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Also fun stories about my teachers through the years

My elementary school principal was caught in a drug raid on an old abandoned trailer in the hills when I was in 1st grade. Instead of trying to explain what the fuck happened, the teachers instead treated us to an assembly where we watched a cartoon about a raccoon that ate all the berries he was picking to make pies because he didn't have self control, and our principal didn't have self control. Very confusing experience. We also had an art teacher that was batshit insane, she was a relatively sweet lady but you could just tell she was off. It was widely known throughout school that she lit her entire front yard on fire while she howled like a wolf from her roof once because she was making some sort of political statement.

But high school was where I hit the jackpot on odd teachers. We had this math teacher that was a massive diehard fundie that despised anything satanic, which included any music that wasn't gospel, any movies that weren't about Jesus, and any clothing that left anything but your hands and head uncovered. There was a legendary event in our school that took place about a year before I got there, where a student with a particular grudge against her erased the daily bible quote she wrote on the chalkboard every day and instead wrote a big 666. As soon as she saw it she darted over to her desk, pulled out her bible, and started screaming in absolute terror that she could feel the demons swarming the room and that Satan himself was coming for her. She also had a particular hatered of metalheads, to the point where she sent anyone who wore a band shirt to the office for inappropriate clothing. Oddly enough, on a day I was wearing an Amon Amarth shirt with a Norse warrior fighting a fire giant on it she stopped me to tell me that she adored it because she thought it was a scene showing a warrior of God fighting Satan.

There was also a time when an older teacher mistook me for an Amish visitor and tried to explain how things in the modern day work. Back then my beard was so patchy above my jawline I wasn't able to grow anything aside from a chinstrap, and the poor old gal thought my unfortunate choice in facial hair meant that I was some Amish kid visiting from one of their villages. But that little encounter was more sweet than funny.
 
I'll share some stories about one of my grade school classmates that I'll call Alex. For background, these took place in a private K-8 school. Alex was a decent guy when he wanted to be, but he also tended to talk out of turn, make fun of people in the cruelest ways (he once called an older large girl a beached whale), and turned in many assignments late or not at all (more about that follows).

For fourth grade, our teacher was a nun. Although older students that had her warned she was strict, she was pretty chill so long as you behaved properly. That said, my especially-good behavior that year was largely out of fear of her.

One day, we're taking our lavatory (bathroom) break when Alex decides he wants to pee in the trash can instead of one of the urinals. When I was done taking care of business, I told Sister what he was doing, thinking she'd wait for him to come out to scold him. Instead, she went into the boys room to presumably catch him in the act and punish him. I can still recall my :O reaction to her going in after him.

Sister also had different ideas to promote good behavior. In November of that year, we each got a sheet of paper with a cornucopia we could decorate as we pleased. Acts of especially good behavior meant we could glue small items into our cornucopia. Those caught misbehaving had to cross out one or more items. At month's end, I think the top one to three students with the most uncrossed out items got an ink pen set or other small gift.

Although I don't remember what he did, Alex said or did something to piss Sister off so much, she told him to go to his cornucopia and cross out the entire sheet with a large X. I think I commented that his horn of plenty was now a horn of nothing.

For most of our grade school years, we spent most of our free time on the playground playing touch football with a Nerf football. In either 5th or 6th grade, we were playing a quick game before class started. Alex caught the ball and tucked the ball in one arm and put his other arm in front of him as if he was the person on the Heisman Trophy. Unfortunately for me, that arm caught me in the throat. I fell to ground convinced he broke my windpipe. I ended up going to the office and laying down until I felt better and could swallow without pain.

In 6th grade, Alex took my hand and then placed it on the butt of female classmate in front of us :horrifying:. I'm still not sure how I didn't get caught, blamed, or in trouble for that. I guess I managed to pull my hand back fast enough not to be noticed.

As mentioned above, Alex apparently didn't like doing his homework. This became apparent in 7th grade. Most of our small group of 7th and 8th graders were members of the service squad. These were the students who cleaned tables after lunch, worked safety patrol before and after school helping younger kids cross the busier intersections on our property, etc.

The service squad had an annual tradition of going to an amusement park one day during the last week of school. The four or five of us that weren't members of the squad still were still expected to come to school that day. Because our teachers chaperoned the field trip, we were told to go to the library. There, we had to help the librarian pack things away for the summer. Alternatively, those who had homework assignments that hadn't been turned in during the year were expected to spend the day completing as many of them of possible.

Alex decided not to come to school that day. When my classmates and I were given the missing assignment list, we saw that he amassed 30-some missing assignments over the year. Another classmate who didn't always do his homework even remarked that it was a far more than his own number of missing assignments and he couldn't believe anyone could skip that many assignments.

Edit to add: One more 6th grade story I forgot: one where Alex tried to help a classmate's sister, but could have gotten himself or an entire group into trouble.

This story includes a classmate I'll call Pablo and his younger sister, Rosa.

Pablo's family at some point came to the US from Cuba. Nobody seemed to know what Pablo's dad did for a living, but he came across as well-off because he always bought Pablo Burger King for lunch every day and included a thermos of what Pablo called Cuban coffee (and claimed it was much strong than anything in the states).

This particular year, for Pablo's birthday, his family chose to invite the entire class to celebrate at Chuck E. Cheese's. Most, if not everyone, showed up. The first part of the night was uneventful. After dinner, Pablo's dad appeared with 2-3 pop pitchers full of game tokens. One by one, we each got a large handful to use in the arcade with the promise we could get more until they ran out.

At some point, a boy from a different group gave Rosa some sort of hard time in the arcade. I don't know what exactly happened, but Alex somehow became aware of what happened. Upon finding the boy at another video game console, Alex sneaked behind him and pulled his sweat pants down on the run, never missing a beat. I thought for sure Alex would get caught and our group would get kicked out, but nothing happened, thankfully - probably because there were so many kids in the arcade that night there was no way for the bully to clearly identify who pantsed him.
 
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I've got a few stories.

This was going on before I entered high school, and only stopped about a year after I graduated. The band director had 2 daughters, one was in my grade. His wife worked as the principal's assistant. The secretary had 2 sons, one was a grade ahead of me. They all knew this shit was going on, all 100+ band students knew it was going on, the parents who volunteered for our competitions knew it was going on, it wasn't a secret. At all.

Other than being a cheater, the secretary was also a huge cunt who stole money. In 10th grade we were going on a big trip for one of our competitions and it cost each student about 2k to go. When I gave her my last check, which was $200, she let about half an hour pass before she called me into her office to claim that I didn't pay my final amount. I was in shock that she had become so bold; she normally stuck to stealing money for reeds and mouth pieces. Three of my friends were with me when I made the payment, but our word against hers would mean nothing. This was a time before cell phones, so I went to speak to a teacher who was a friend of the family, and she took me to the front office to use the telephone. I called both of my parents in tears. They sent my uncle, who is a well known attorney in the area, to straighten things out. Uncle attorney showed up in his "I'm not fucking around" suit and I could see the secretary sweating bullets, with a nervous smile on her face, as she conveniently found the missing check in her personal desk drawer.

About a year after I graduated a new principal stepped up and actually listened to the students, and wasn't pleased about two saggy horse faced farts screwing in between classes. He set up hidden cameras in all of the band offices, and busted the two old crusty fucks making out in a broom closet like horny teenagers. They were immediately fired, and the band director's wife finally filed for divorce.

The most loved history teacher in the entire school was a white male. At the beginning of every semester he'd go over a summary of what was to be taught, and stated that if anyone was going to get upset over the subject matter (which included slavery) they would be allowed to complete alternate assignments. At this point we had all heard about the American Civil War so much that it carried little weight. This was before SJWs and social media, so not one was getting their undies in a twist. Well, almost no one.

When I was a senior a little freshman black princess got her undies in a knot because the teacher said nigger when talking about the Civil War. Princess didn't care about context, and neither did the NAACP, and they were too damn eager about taking the poor man to court. The school did nothing to defend him. They rolled over and exposed their stomachs, letting a 14 year old walk all over them.

I can't remember how many weeks this lasted, but the fact that it happened at all is just so damn stupid. If this happened here and now in 2018 I would not be shocked. But, again, this was before SJWs and Antifa and all that bullshit. And guess what? The kid eventually admitted that she just didn't want to do any of the assignments. Her punishment? Absolutely nothing. Sur-freakin'-prise. The teacher actually went back to the school to continue his job. I suppose that makes him the bigger man, but I would have told the staff to go unfuck themselves for letting a spoiled brat dominate them.

My favorite teacher was my 10th and 11th grade math teacher. I hated math, I was awful at it. I wasn't diagnosed with dyscalculia until I was in college, and I don't think it was even a recognized disorder when I was in high school. I spent many hours after school getting help on assignments, and he was the only teacher who didn't get frustrated with me.

I thought of him as a dad, or what a good dad would be. My stepdad was (and still is) a piece of shit, and he'd "forget" to pick me up from school on the days it would be storming. Math teacher would give me rides home, and sometimes we'd swing by McDonald's for ice cream on the way. We'd even share the latest gossip and talk about South Park.

He was also admired for his dedication to his wife. After she had their first daughter, postpartum hit really hard. He changed his diet, started jogging, and lost over 150lbs so he'd be able to do more around the house, as well as play with kids. Everyone loved it when he'd talk about their anniversary date plans. All of the hopeless romantic teens aspired to have a marriage as fulfilled as his. Other students considered him a role model for dedicating his career to helping students who needed it the most. He always said that he struggled with math up until college, so he knew that patience and kindness was important.

What could possibly ruin such a strong marriage and well respected career?

He himself could. And he did. Last month he was arrested in my childhood hometown in a big sting operation that targeted pedophiles and child groomers. He thought he was going to meet a 14 year old for sex. Both of his daughters are around the ages of the girls he had been targeting. (:_(
 
I asked a guy out in college and instead of going on a date I spent three hours talking with him about his life story on the phone and I didn't even get that date with him. :/
 
In school we once had to attend a lecture by this guy

http://davidtoma.com/

The school bought books from him, made us all pay $5 for them, then made us write book reports on it.

Someone I knew used to use the plastic cover of the book to put his pot on when he rolled joints.
 
Jesus christ I'm glad I don't remember much of it. I lived in a small town and everyone were friends, so at most people would snore away during or generally not care.

I played on a WoW private server so I made some shitty Windows Movie Maker-video on game addiction by flying around on a mount on a TBC server, added in Pirates of the Caribbean theme and put it on a DVD. Teacher made everyone watch it.

I also found an old typewriter somewhere and basically re-wrote parts of LotR. Also 'forced' to read it aloud by my teacher, literally sitting on a chair in the middle of a 20-table horseshoe around.

I could've probably turned either of those interests into a hobby but eyy. Why not just ruin tens of nights of sleep instead.
 
Jet Fuel Johnny said:
In school we once had to attend a lecture by this guy

http://davidtoma.com/
Click to expand...

In what passed for my high school PE class' mandatory health module, we had to watch a video where this guy spoke against using pot. I think it was titled Toma Talks Straight or Toma Talks Tough and it took us 2 class sessions to see the whole thing, I think. It proved to be a waste of time; those students who had no interest in drugs didn't need it to persuade them while those who were already doing drugs of any sort certainly weren't going to stop because some guy in a video said so.
 
In middle school, one time they assembled all the students in the gym to hear a guest lecture by a Holocaust survivor about how his experience in the camps. At the end of the lecture, he took questions from the students, and this one notoriously dumb Arab kid straight up asked "How did you feel when your family all died?"

The old guy was so outraged that he couldn't even express himself, and they had to cut the presentation short because of it.
 
We had a kid who would draw people he knew as superheroes in a comic book world he created. He was actually quite good. I can't draw worth a damn, but I gave him story ideas. Don't know what happened to him after high school though.
 
There was some guy in my class in secondary school, at assembly every morning he would do this:


At first people laughed, then he would do it every morning while the morning assembly was going on and after a while people just ignored it. Thinking back, I suspect :autism:
 
DrJonesHat said:
We had a kid who would draw people he knew as superheroes in a comic book world he created. He was actually quite good. I can't draw worth a damn, but I gave him story ideas. Don't know what happened to him after high school though.
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Heh, my high school gf had her own little comic series, and I made my OC a Mystique rip-off with heterochromia (Fittingly enough right before I discovered Chris-Chan).
 
There was one kid at my high school about a year younger than me who was a pretty awkward looking guy, super short and skinny with a very beaklike nose. Socially awkward too, but one day at the beginning of the school year he did something very odd- he went right into the middle of the lunch quad and started dancing. This weird, awkward, goofy dance that got everyones attention. He did this for a while and then left. He did it the next day too, and the next. One day he put a hat down, and people who had previously laughed at him started putting money in the hat. Due to some arbitrary school rules about money he was eventually told to stop, but he came away richer and with people's respect for his strange performance.
 
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MerriedxReldnahc said:
There was one kid at my high school about a year younger than me who was a pretty awkward looking guy, super short and skinny with a very beaklike nose. Socially awkward too, but one day at the beginning of the school year he did something very odd- he went right into the middle of the lunch quad and started dancing. This weird, awkward, goofy dance that got everyones attention. He did this for a while and then left. He did it the next day too, and the next. One day he put a hat down, and people who had previously laughted at him starting putting money in the hat. Due to some arbitrary school rules about money he was eventually told to stop, but he came away richer and with people's respect for his strange performance.
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Bruh did you go to school with Napoleon Dynamite?
 
Kiwi Lime Pie said:
In what passed for my high school PE class' mandatory health module, we had to watch a video where this guy spoke against using pot. I think it was titled Toma Talks Straight or Toma Talks Tough and it took us 2 class sessions to see the whole thing, I think. It proved to be a waste of time; those students who had no interest in drugs didn't need it to persuade them while those who were already doing drugs of any sort certainly weren't going to stop because some guy in a video said so.
Click to expand...
Our drug awareness program was perhaps a tad too informative, because several people, myself included, tried drugs after being told how to do them, how to make them and where to find them in explicit detail. Needless to say, that person was not invited back.
 
Oscar Wildean said:
I asked a guy out in college and instead of going on a date I spent three hours talking with him about his life story on the phone and I didn't even get that date with him. :/
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In college, I sat there while this cute guy talked about programming and computer algorithms nonstop at me for two hours. It was at that point I realized he was almost certainly autistic.
 
The Shadow said:
Our anti-discrimination program taught me some wonderful ethnic slurs.
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Until the 4th grade, I didn't know nigger was a word, nor did I know it was a slur against black people. And yes, there were lots and lots of black kids at my school, all the way from kindergarten. The principal hauled all the boys out of class four at a time (I guess girls couldn't be racist in the 80s) and told us using it was bad, and we shouldn't use it because it's mean towards the black kids and we're all friends here blah blah. So thanks Mr. Buss, I learned exactly the wrong thing from your little lesson. The fact that I left my car in gear and it rolled down my driveway and into your backyard 20 years later had no bearing on that day. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
 
DrJonesHat said:
We had a kid who would draw people he knew as superheroes in a comic book world he created.
Click to expand...

My best friend in junior high created a science fiction universe that included most of our classmates and even our 8th grade teacher as characters. I even convinced him to add some then-current cartoon characters for good measure :biggrin:. In addition to a story that filled most of his spiral-bound notebook, he also created personnel files with our in-universe specialties and such. For some reason, though, he had my character get shot with some sort of weapon that slowly and painfully dissolved all my skin until I would eventually die *sigh*. I guess that's what friends are for, right?
 
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Kiwi Lime Pie said:
My best friend in junior high created a science fiction universe that included most of our classmates and even our 8th grade teacher. In addition to a story that filled most of his spiral-bound notebook, he also created personnel files with our in-universe specialties and such. For some reason, though, he had my character get shot with some sort of weapon that slowly and painfully dissolved all my skin until I would eventually die *sigh*. I guess that's what friends are for, right?
Click to expand...
My Shadowrun campaign in high school was based on people I knew. One adventure had the school being taken over by terrorists, which nowadays would probably have gotten me arrested, or at least hauled in for a psych eval.
 
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