Culinary Atrocities - Crimes against food

[Captain Smollett]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu
Motherfucking bug cheese.

The Sards are not any better...

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

While not an atrocity in their own right, calling this shit "cheese" IS.

Yall ever heard of "cheese racing"? Basically the participants each toss a piece of processed cheese, plastic on, onto a hot grill and let it heat up so the plastic expands. Whoever's cheese explodes first wins. You get the added bonus of molten plastic adhering to whatever you try to cook next.

 

[DatBepisTho]

I hate the name because I expected it to be tea made with kelp (kombu). What we call kombucha is called kocha kinoko in Japan.

Is it a salty tea or bitter tea? I kind of want to try that now as I dig seaweed in miso.

 

[Trombonista]

Is it a salty tea or bitter tea? I kind of want to try that now as I dig seaweed in miso.

I've never had kelp tea. I kinda want to try it now, though.

 

[Shallow_Hal]

Fruit Bat Soup. This is actually considered a delicacy.

 

[heymate]

"Why would you do this to meeeee? How could you? You will paaaay for thisssss. I will personally ensure that you rue the day you decided to kill me... just you wait. Just. You. Wwwwaaaiitttt."

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

View attachment 315465 Fruit Bat Soup. This is actually considered a delicacy.

When you invite Ozzy Osbourne to a potluck.

 

[DatBepisTho]

"Why would you do this to meeeee? How could you? You will paaaay for thisssss. I will personally ensure that you rue the day you decided to kill me... just you wait. Just. You. Wwwwaaaiitttt."
View attachment 315623

So this is where the last Ebola outbreak originated.

 

[El Garbage]

 

[DatBepisTho]

...
We were on the "perpetually broke" end of middle class, and Mom would (with great reluctance) make an extremely simplified tuna casserole: two cans of tuna, two cans of cream of mushroom soup, and a bag of egg noodles. No peas and no potato chips, so it stays moist but not weirdly soggy in the middle.
...

Can speak from experience coming from a not-broke-but-we-eat-like-it household that this stuff (or the hamburger variant) was the shit back then. Except ours was thrown together at the last minute so the noodles were al dente.

This shit right here is extremely upsetting to me. White people are paying $20+ per pie for this nonsense.

The sweet potato looks like it'd be good, but not 20$ good.

 

[Armchair Psychologist]

What....what even is that?

 

[XYZpdq]

Looks like a souffle that died in the oven with melted ice cream.

Which honestly would probably taste pretty good still.

 

[El Garbage]

What....what even is that?

Looks like a souffle that died in the oven with melted ice cream.
Which honestly would probably taste pretty good still.

That's Finnish traditional food Mämmi, basically it's badly made rye porridge. We only eat it at Easter, probably to suffer like Jesus did.

 

[XYZpdq]

rye porridge.

wat

 

[DatBepisTho]

That's Finnish traditional food Mämmi, basically it's badly made rye porridge. We only eat it at Easter, probably to suffer like Jesus did.

So it's kinda like Finn cream of wheat but less fun and less tasty?

 

[Armchair Psychologist]

That's Finnish traditional food Mämmi, basically it's badly made rye porridge. We only eat it at Easter, probably to suffer like Jesus did.

is it a dessert? It kinda looks like a brownie drowned in melted ice cream.

Anyone try this?

It's something that my persian buddies made once. It's like salty spicy sour m!lk but oddly enough isn't have bad by itself. It's an atrocity if you take a big gulp expecting 2% though.

 

[AnOminous]

Anyone try this?

It's something that my persian buddies made once. It's like salty spicy sour m!lk but oddly enough isn't have bad by itself. It's an atrocity if you take a big gulp expecting 2% though.

It's doogh or something related. It's a fermented yoghurt type drink. It's a pretty good palate cleanser. Most Persian restaurants serve it, although the whole region has multiple variants of drinks like this. There's also a bottled variety that is artificially carbonated and that's pretty nasty.

 

[El Garbage]

wat

Do you know what rye porridge tastes like? POVERTY.

So it's kinda like Finn cream of wheat but less fun and less tasty?

is it a dessert? It kinda looks like a brownie drowned in melted ice cream.

It's supposed to be an Easter dessert, yeah. Since the recipe is from the ultra-poor olden days, the stuff is made without sugar, chocolate or such luxuries. Instead, it's just rye heated in an oven for hours, until starch turns into maltose and gives the stuff a sort of sweet taste.

Basically it's a delicacy, because the regular food back then was bark bread and dysentery.

 

[DatBepisTho]

It's supposed to be an Easter dessert, yeah. Since the recipe is from the ultra-poor olden days, the stuff is made without sugar, chocolate or such luxuries. Instead, it's just rye heated in an oven for hours, until starch turns into maltose and gives the stuff a sort of sweet taste.

Basically it's a delicacy, because the regular food back then was bark bread and dysentery.

Congrats; you made me laugh pretty fucking hard.

Edit- It doesn't sound too bad, tbh. Assuming a person likes rye.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I tried a fancy cheese from Trader Joe's recently that had a name like "Goblin Mountain" or "Goblin Sweaty Taint" or some shit like that. What did it taste like? Well the other week I spent the better part of the day sweeping up thousands of dead bees that had apparently decided to build a colony in my nasty furnace closet. I can confidently say that the cheese tasted exactly like the stale musty mildewy air of a furnace closet full of decaying bee corpses.