KR North Korea Megathread - Dear Leader and his shenanigans

MOD NOTE:

There's so much news about North Korea right now and what Un is doing, I got a suggestion for a NK megathread, so here it is. Post the world's greatest nation's antics here. I'm merging a few of the more recent threads to continue discussion.

ORIGINAL POST:
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https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/south-korea-planning-war-decapitation-132232777.html

South Korean President Moon Jae-in has pushed for a new plan for a rapid war with North Korea and an overhaul of the country's defense industry to overwhelm and crush the North's government, the South Korean newspaper The Chosun Ilbo reported Tuesday.

Moon took office in May promising to attempt to engage diplomatically with North Korea and seek peace, but in the months since, the North has provoked the international community with missile tests at a blistering pace.

For some time, South Korea has been training a "decapitation force," reportedly with the help of the US Navy's SEAL Team 6, but now an increasingly bold North Korea may demand quicker action.

South Korea's new plan identifies more than 1,000 targets for precision missile fires and sites for marines to drop in and quickly kill North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, the paper reported.

The plan represents a more independent version of South Korea's current plan, which relies on support from US aircraft carriers. As it stands, no major military commander recommends military action against North Korea, which has a staggering array of conventional — and potentially nuclear — weapons pointed at Seoul, where 26 million call home.

But South Korea's new plan to quickly and decisively dominate the North relies on reforming the defense-acquisition process and cutting out wasteful spending to wield the full might of its economic dominance against Pyongyang, according to the report. For that reason, don't expect the plan to take effect anytime soon.

 

[cans.wav]

>They wanna go it alone
I hope they realize without US support before the invasion, Seoul would get artillery striked until flattened

 

[CWCissey]

I do think the real question is 'What happens after?'

Seoul would eat it of course, maybe Tokyo too, but what of the North Korean citizens? Flee south and get blown up by mines or flee north and get shot by the PLA?

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

>They wanna go it alone
I hope they realize without US support before the invasion, Seoul would get artillery striked until flattened

Kim wouldn't be going down without a fight anyway. Doesn't matter if he takes Japan, SK, the US or even China down with him. If they fuck up now, nothing short of outright nuclear war would stop him.

And obviously no one wants any of that. But at the same time, the world's leaders are desperate. It's getting to the point where even Russia's getting pissed off because nothing has worked. Who's to say Kim won't threaten them or China next with his weapons? I'd love to see him dead like everyone else and see this be put to an end. But the reality is ultimately much harsher than fantasy ever can be.

 

[SoGoose]

I want to see cluster bombs & napalm being dropped in pyongyang

 

[CWCissey]

I want to see cluster bombs & napalm being dropped in pyongyang

So play some Mercenaries. I'm not sure Western-affiliated nations use those things as a rule any more, and even if they do, you ain't seeing that shit on the telly. Standard big fucking bombs will be hammering the Ryugong on the BBC/Fox

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I think it would be easier for China to integrate the Norks compared to South Korea. China's communism would be at the very least somewhat familiar to the population.

In theory, they're both Communist. In practice, not so much. China is Communist, but allows capitalism, and that's why it's a major player in the world economy. NK, well, what the hell is it? It's like a totalitarian theocratic monarchy with a strongly Stalinist element.

Ultimately, anything that brinks NK into the wider world is going to be a massive culture shock, because all North Koreans have been indoctrinated from birth into believing that Juche is the superior political system and the entire world trembles before the godlike power of the Kims. It's going to be cult deprogramming on an unprecedented scale when they see that everyone else considers NK to be a failed state and that Kim Jong-Un is an idiot who should lay off the pies for a bit.

 

[Computery Guy]

I'm gonna get a bit A-Log here but you could probably stab Un to death with a dull letter opener and it'd still be better than what he deserves.

Just glass NK, it's not worth it.

 

[CWCissey]

In theory, they're both Communist. In practice, not so much. China is Communist, but allows capitalism, and that's why it's a major player in the world economy. NK, well, what the hell is it? It's like a totalitarian theocratic monarchy with a strongly Stalinist element.

Ultimately, anything that brinks NK into the wider world is going to be a massive culture shock, because all North Koreans have been indoctrinated from birth into believing that Juche is the superior political system and the entire world trembles before the godlike power of the Kims. It's going to be cult deprogramming on an unprecedented scale when they see that everyone else considers NK to be a failed state and that Kim Jong-Un is an idiot who should lay off the pies for a bit.

Hence why the Souks are floating in cell phones and stuff

 

[Morose_Obesity]

Couldn't they just airdrop a buncha fried Twinkies and let fatty gorge himself to death?

 

[CWCissey]

Couldn't they just airdrop a buncha fried Twinkies and let fatty gorge himself to death?

No as any Norks that find them will keep that to themselves. Plus Fatboy is obviously very hardy seeing as he does nothing but guzzle whiskey and shovel cheese down his gullet and he's still here while only suffering from a bad case of gout (that we know of).

 

[Nacho Man Randy Salsa]

If war happens the North Korean population will take it as the fucking apocalypse. Even in a best case scenario where there's no need for nukes the occupation is going to be hellish due to the crazed population that are thinking their God has fallen. It's going to make the Iraqi occupation years look easy.

 

[XYZpdq]

In theory, they're both Communist. In practice, not so much. China is Communist, but allows capitalism, and that's why it's a major player in the world economy. NK, well, what the hell is it? It's like a totalitarian theocratic monarchy with a strongly Stalinist element.

Ultimately, anything that brinks NK into the wider world is going to be a massive culture shock, because all North Koreans have been indoctrinated from birth into believing that Juche is the superior political system and the entire world trembles before the godlike power of the Kims. It's going to be cult deprogramming on an unprecedented scale when they see that everyone else considers NK to be a failed state and that Kim Jong-Un is an idiot who should lay off the pies for a bit.

As far as I've heard they generally think KIS was really great, KJI wasn't that great, and already have euphemisms for when Un gets deposed.
The living gods of Juche thing is only believed as much as is legally required to keep you and your family out of the death camps.

 

[MG 192]

, but maybe if everyone pulls out all aids (and not just "sanctions" that do nothing) and force the starvation of North Korean people, maybe they will rise up and topple the regime to put in something less nightmarish?

Because I would take that to a war and I sure as hell don't want to see South Korea or Japan nuked.

 

[XYZpdq]

force the starvation of North Korean people

That's already been state policy in DPRK for decades.

 

[Dysnomia]

Kim wouldn't be going down without a fight anyway. Doesn't matter if he takes Japan, SK, the US or even China down with him. If they fuck up now, nothing short of outright nuclear war would stop him.

And obviously no one wants any of that. But at the same time, the world's leaders are desperate. It's getting to the point where even Russia's getting pissed off because nothing has worked. Who's to say Kim won't threaten them or China next with his weapons? I'd love to see him dead like everyone else and see this be put to an end. But the reality is ultimately much harsher than fantasy ever can be.

Fatty needs to be taken out as soon as possible. He wants to blow up the world with his toys. I think he is truly exceptional. He looks like a giant baby.

But I don't want to see WW3 start because some crazy fatass running a gulag country keeps threatening people and launching missiles. The sooner he's gone the better. But it is going to be a mess. And I dread what may happen.

There's a whole country full of isolated people who'd be totally lost without their crazy regime telling them how to think.

Cracked recently did a really stupid propaganda piece about North Korea that's worth laughing at: http://www.cracked.com/blog/i-heard-lot-crazy-things-about-north-korea-so-i-went/

The site is deathly afraid of offending anyone these days.

Well, Godspeed South Korea.

 

[Computery Guy]

Fatty needs to be taken out as soon as possible. He wants to blow up the world with his toys. I think he is truly exceptional. He looks like a giant baby.

But I don't want to see WW3 start because some crazy fatass running a gulag country keeps threatening people and launching missiles. The sooner he's gone the better. But it is going to be a mess. And I dread what may happen.

There's a whole country full of isolated people who'd be totally lost without their crazy regime telling them how to think.

Cracked recently did a really stupid propaganda piece about North Korea that's worth laughing at: http://www.cracked.com/blog/i-heard-lot-crazy-things-about-north-korea-so-i-went/

The site is deathly afraid of offending anyone these days.

Well, Godspeed South Korea.

There has never been a stupider, more useful Useful Idiot than the guy who wrote that article.

 

[MG 192]

That's already been state policy in DPRK for decades.

But at least throughout the decades North Korea has received aid from other countries. Totally removing foreign aid (even China) would escalate the decline of Kim Jong-Un's regime and with no assistance, it may lead to a revolt from the peasants with no hope of food or water.

Of course on the flipside, that also brings out the problem of Fatty deciding to nuke Guam, South Korea, or Japan in extreme butthurt. If it does come to that, I hope that it will be a one-sided curb stomp instead of World War III.

 

[CWCchange]

Because Imperial Japan was only brainwashed by a personality cult for 20 years or so and Hirohito was willing to accept a transition from absolute to constitutional monarchy. North Korea has had a personality cult for almost 70 years and is far more isolated culturally. Threatened with nuclear Armageddon, Fatty would most likely just try to cause as much damage as possible on the way out and short of levelling the entire place nobody would accept it.

Imperial Japan wasn't even really a personality cult. It was a gradual shift of power from a democracy to dictatorship fueled by the Great Depression, escalation of the Second Sino-Japanese War/World War II, and attempted putsch after putsch. Hirohito was a figurehead, and defendants threw him under the bus claiming they wouldn't have done what they did if he objected. Civilians knew about the outside world, and attitudes toward the government were quite unpopular by the climax of the war, although certainly suppressed as everywhere else.

A comparison hardly exists, save for the fact they're both in East Asia and North Korea is still using infrastructure built by the Japanese. Even though North Koreans are brainwashed, any mentality will fall apart when they're fed properly. It would like the Melanesian cargo cult, or Africans worshiping a Coke bottle.

 

[CWCissey]

Africans worshiping a Coke bottle.

The Kim Dynasty does indeed prove that the Gods are crazy.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

Nearly all Western tourists visit the Palace Of The Sun, a massive, imposing mausoleum where the bodies of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il are on display. This is an extremely important and somber location, where visitors are expected to be on their best behavior. According to our Western guide, a tourist once decided to say "fuck that" and perform a handstand, which is like taking a shit on the Lincoln Memorial. Nothing happened to him, but both of the Korean guides supervising the trip were fired.