💰 Grifter Jeremy Hambly / The Quartering / MTGHeadquarters / Unsleeved Media / Midwestly - Buttblasted alcoholic manchild upset he was banned from a childrens' card game, Grifter, supporter of the cancel culture, cucked by a Jewish bull (Adam Sellers), pisses in basement, shits himself, FLAGGOT, stalks little girls in public, scammer

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Rich Evans Ayypologist said:
I think the confusion stems from Jer selling so much flavored coffee (which is just near-expiry beans dunked into flavored oils which will fuck up your grinder)... as well as the fact that most storebought coffee, and I would assume internet-shipped coffee (why the fuck would you do this) tastes like complete shit, so the idea that coffee can even have different natural flavors beyond 'light-medium-dark roast' is not particularly well-known.
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Aren’t the flavored oils artificial? How do they make rum flavored blueberry orange pumpkin shit?
 
Rich Evans Ayypologist said:
I think the confusion stems from Jer selling so much flavored coffee (which is just near-expiry beans dunked into flavored oils which will fuck up your grinder)... as well as the fact that most storebought coffee, and I would assume internet-shipped coffee (why the fuck would you do this) tastes like complete shit, so the idea that coffee can even have different natural flavors beyond 'light-medium-dark roast' is not particularly well-known.
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Most people who want flavored coffee buy specific creamers. Selling flavored coffee was probably a huge misstep.
 
TertiaryObjective said:
Aren’t the flavored oils artificial? How do they make rum flavored blueberry orange pumpkin shit?
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Yes, those are. However, for example - I enjoy a blend of Ethiopian Harrar prettymuch as a staple, which has chocolate notes just in the bean itself. They're subtle little flavors that you're best able to notice if you prepare the stuff as straight espresso. These are naturally-occurring flavors which will vary from bean to bean and from roasting process to roasting process; I also enjoy Yirgacheffe, which has a totally different flavor profile.
Spooky Dogwood said:
Most people who want flavored coffee buy specific creamers. Selling flavored coffee was probably a huge misstep.
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Most people who buy flavored coffee overlap with people who buy creamers, as anyone serious about their coffee buys neither. Jer was obviously intending to target casual consumers... but failed to recognize that casual consumers cannot tell one coffee from another. Their main focus is going to be price-point. Their second focus will be finding a coffee whose flavor they like well-enough and which is reliable. And their third focus will be brand identity. Jer has fucked all three of these things.

His price-points are absolutely fucking retarded, charging outrageous premiums that make no sense even for actually-good coffee: prices that high are only explained by marketing and brand recognition. K-cup coffee is outrageously expensive because cattle love their convenience, but he charges whole and ground bags at above normal k-cup rates: no-one's going to buy that shit even outside of a recession. For example, I buy my coffee of choice at about $12/pound, whole-bean. It's a lot pricier than store-bought, but it fits my budget just-fine and the quality jump is tremendous. I'd say it's common for coffee hipsters to spend around $20/pound, which is still a ridiculous overcharge. Jer's coffee, which is old shit dunked into flavored oils, is $20/ 12 oz. His core audience, retarded boomer pensioners who only have chain restaurants and major brands in a 400 mile radius of their location, are not going to spend that much on fruit-flavored coffee.

Secondly, his actual flavor profile is going to be completely unpredictable. This shit is sitting in warehouses for an eternity - I wouldn't be surprised if excess stock from Millcreek was then sold to the white-labeler, so even before sitting on shelves as CBC it's been sitting around a while. It's going to make for extremely inconsistent flavor profiles. My reserve coffee is Eight O'Clock's Original, because it has a smoky profile that hides the fact that the beans have been sitting in warehouses and shelves for weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if the flavored coffees are taken from similar roast profiles but completely different beans, batch-to-batch, because who the fuck cares? Jer certainly doesn't know fucking anything about coffee, since it takes longer to prepare than a redbull.

And lastly, by saying it's "not a political brand," Jer completely fucked the third one. He has no cult of personality, because he has no personality. The only thing he's known for is being that one annoying right-wing guy on youtube that gets recommended constantly until you expressly say 'do not recommend this channel.' Politics was the only fucking thing he had to sell his coffee on, and as BRC has demonstrated politics is a great way to take a mediocre product and turn it into a product sold at an upcharge to a dumbshit audience who thinks that consumption substitutes for political activism. He could have made bank selling a CBC branded "pwn the libs portafilter" to retards who'll use an espresso machine twice before they sell it on facebook marketplace and return to their keurig k-cup machine, but in classic narcissist fashion he decided to compete with the established coffee companies... on the 'merits,' thinking his stuff would win out over them.... because because?

(In mild defense of BRC, if I'm traveling and want a gas-station cold-brew coffee, their shit isn't near as drenched in sugar as alternatives, especially Starbucks.)
 
Spooky Dogwood said:
Most people who want flavored coffee buy specific creamers. Selling flavored coffee was probably a huge misstep.
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I’d never heard of flavored coffee grounds before this. It sounds terrible to be honest - flavoured syrup added after brewing is one thing but soaking some chemical oil into the coffee itself is just gross behavior.
 
Oxyjen said:
I’d never heard of flavored coffee grounds before this. It sounds terrible to be honest - flavoured syrup added after brewing is one thing but soaking some chemical oil into the coffee itself is just gross behavior.
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Very occasionally, there will be a batch of flavored coffee that isn't actually awful. Some roasters will do a holiday blend that drenches the shit in nutmeg and cinnamon and hazelnut flavors - it's akin to something like eggnog, where it's a very pronounced and strong flavor that's almost a guilty sometimes-indulgence. It also fucks up your grinders something-awful.

But usually, yes, it tastes like complete shit and the flavor profile is flatly disgusting. Many people mix it in with a creamer that already overpowers the flavor anyways, so they don't really notice. The main reason it's done is that the beans being used are close to expiring/rotting, and the oils work as a preservative that give them extended shelf-lives.
 
AltisticRight said:
To those who don't know, the flavouring on the package is what the coffee will smell and taste like. It's not artificial flavouring. Different roasting methods and beans does this. Luther didn't know what he was talking about.
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How do you roast beans to taste like "Blueberry Cobbler"? I actually bought some of that flavour from the one in my post a number of pages back and on the packaging it does in fact say as ingredients "Coffee, Natural/Artificial Flavours" so I'm curious what it is you mean by this because I'm literally looking at what Luther was talking about in my hands. CBC doesn't seem to have any nutritional info or notice that there are artificial flavourings when it should. Can you explain this point more?
 
Adolf Hulkler said:
Please dont compare the pepperoni chef to JerjerBinks...
The Gordon Ramsay of basement salami shouldnt be disrespected this way.
The Stalker Prison Warden is actually funny, jer is just an angry cuck who is assmad that people learned his secret.
What JerjerBinks has is bitch blubbers.

Actually his name should be Jeremy Bitch Blubbers.
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Fag Flaps. Faggot floppers? Shitbrick Shimmies. Lardass Lumps. Chesticles. Moobs.
DSP for president 2032 said:
Leak the list or youse a bitch.


Hey Wes Watson, you are not agreeing with me at all. I'm saying that the laws need to be tighter so that the women who are being sexually harassed and creepshotted can call the cops on him. I'm not an internet tough guy.

Also, Jeremy is a 6 foot 5 giant. If you didn't know he was a giant baby, would you step to him? And what if he beats you up, is he allowed to harass your woman now?
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I agree about better laws against taking random creepshots. It's the weird action of a depraved porn brained coomer. The crazy thing is that Jeremy's video where he's wandering around "keeping it tight", he wouldn't approach or speak to any of those women one on one. He only talks to women he has backed into a corner with money. His wife, his employees, his cohosts. He talks ABOUT other women but he's never talked TO other women. It's fucking weird.
 
moocow said:
I'm not going on a date with you.


I use the term "you" in the sense of the "metaphorical you," as in "all of the pearl-clutchers, not just your faggy ass in particular."


"Yes," and "no." I carry, and I defend my loved ones. Also, we would not be in attendance at a ren faire in the first place.

Keep trying. You'll figure this out eventually, big guy.
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Why do I have an odd feeling to say, "Go get some rest, Razorfist?" upon seeing your posts? You do a bad hambly impression.
 
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Cornering spotted in rekitas chat
 
Baklava said:
this coffee faggot actually has my favorite way to make coffee that only requires a French press and takes only three minutes to explain it.
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Can confirm that in my experience French press coffee makes the best coffee of all methods I've tried. I started with Mr Coffee machine, later advanced to pour over method, and have finally settled on French press. French press seems to make the smoothest cup. (If you get a French press, I recommend something that isn't glass. Every glass press I've ever bought will eventually develop cracks. I found an all metal one on Amazon that has lasted for years.)
 
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